by M Dauphin
By the time the four of them leave, I’m ready to pass the fuck out for a few hours, but my phone dings so naturally I run to grab it and smile when I see it’s from her.
AL: Hope you’re safe. Didn’t want to wake you after a long night. Meeting with Lane’s lawyer today, will call after. <3
Lawyer? She’s meeting with his lawyer without me? Why did I not hear about this? Is she in town? Why wouldn’t she ask me for help? Maybe she really doesn’t think she needs me at all anymore now that she’s survived this long away without my help.
I’m completely failing at taking care of her, I’m not sure if I’m so upset about this because it was my final promise to my best friend or if it’s because of my feelings towards her.
Hitting the ‘call’ button, I wait for her to pick up only for it to go to voicemail after four rings. Her sweet, happy voice rings in my ears telling me to leave a message, but I know better than anyone she never checks her voice messages. Ending the call, I type out five texts, all with ranging emotion and anger that she didn’t ask for my help, only to delete them all. She said she’d call me when she’s done. She’s probably in the meeting right now, which means she’ll be calling me soon with whatever information they are feeding her. God I hope he had everything ready for his passing and we don’t have to deal with this all… I feel like I’m finally starting to be able to think of him without falling into a deep depression. It was touch and go there for a while, but now I feel like I won’t lose my shit if I walk into his apartment. And that’s a good thing, because I know soon she’s going to want to come back and empty it out. It needs to be done. Enough time has gone by that we need to start moving on with our lives.
He’s not coming back.
I spend the day getting ready for my shift at the bar tonight. Last night we had a show at a bigger bar in town so we had to bring in another part time employee to run the bar. Tonight it’s just me and Gabe, just like the old days. The show last night went great, and afterwards we were introduced to a few music producers in the area that work with indie artists. We could be well on our way to moving up the ranks like we’ve always wanted, we can’t fuck it up like so many other bands before us have done. If we make it, great… if not then it’s no loss to us because we aren’t doing it for fame… we’re doing it because we all love the music and the fans. I don’t want that to change. Part of me is afraid if we do go big then we’d start doing things for the wrong reasons… like money… and I don’t want that.
By the time my shift comes around I still haven’t heard from Alexis, I’m starting to get worried something happened. Typically she’s really good about getting back to me when she says she’s going to, so I can’t help but think something terrible has happened.
Maybe I should cancel my shift tonight and drive out to see her. Maybe she needs me and she’s not telling me she does because she’s too stubborn.
Or maybe I’m just being overly dramatic and needy. Jesus Christ.
Sitting in my chair in the office of the bar with a half-hour left until opening time, I sigh, looking at all the pictures we’ve collected over the years. We were stupid opening this with as little money and background as we had when we opened. I’ve learned, though, that if there’s one thing about Gabe, it’s that he doesn’t give up and always has to win. He’s put his heart and soul into it.
“Hey man,” Gabe announces as he shuts the office door behind him. “You look like shit.” He laughs at me and tosses his jacket on the chair behind his desk.
“I feel like shit,” I grumble, taking a swig of water. The hangover from last night has hung on all day, if I wasn’t worried about Alexis and what she’s doing today I’d be more worried about feeling like shit. As it is, I’m more worried about making sure I have my phone on me for when she calls or texts. I need to know what happened today with the lawyer. I need to know what’s going on. I feel like an asshole because I wasn’t there for her, I’m starting to wonder why she never told me she was meeting with him. We talk every day, and I’m sure she’s had this planned for days, at the very least.
“Brandon’s in tonight, too. We have a few parties planning on stopping in so it’s gonna be nuts.” Gabe sits at his desk and starts clicking away on his computer. For what, I’m not certain. I’ve always done the behind the scenes shit while he’s been the face of the bar. All the paperwork for the week including purchases and payments have already been handled.
“What’s going on over there?” I ask, curious what has him to smitten with his computer screen.
“Oh, uh… nothing.” I walk behind him to see as he quickly closes a window out.
“Is that a matchmaker site?” Barking out laughter, I can’t stop picturing Gabe on a dating site. “Holy shit, Gabriel Macmillan on a fucking dating site! The guys are gonna get a kick out of this, dude!” I pull out my phone to send the mass text that it seems like our playboy deluxe of the band is finally looking to settle down.
“Shut the fuck up, Braydon. You know we ain’t getting any younger. Plus, all the chicks we hang out with aren’t exactly wife material. You don’t need to spread the word that I’m on the hunt for a mom for some kids. It’s not like that shit. ”
“Too late,” I say, laughing as I see the responses start coming in. “I told you I’d pay you hack for telling everyone I was a love sick puppy when I slept with Trixie the first time.”
“You were hooked dude,” he grumbles. He’s always been angry that I nabbed her when I did, and I used to be pissed when he'd tease me about her because I hated that they all knew, but now I don’t care. Now I’d rather if she would latch on to one of the other band members so I could get her off my case.
“Crazy how things change, huh?”
“Yes. Insane. And on that note…” he trails off, closes his laptop and looks up at me. “How’s Alexis doing?”
I shake my head and walk out of the office, not even giving him the comeback he’s looking for, because I honestly don’t know how she's doing. I want to see her. I haven’t seen her yet this week and it’s eating at me. I miss her. I miss being around her.
Jesus I’m turning into the lovesick puppy now.
“Turn on some music. I have to get my mind off shit.” Leaving the office, I head out to the bar to start a job that will most definitely take my mind off everything.
And I’m right. An hour into my shift and all I can think about is making sure the bachelorette across the room doesn’t throw up on the speakers she’s standing near, and the man sitting at my bar chugging shots like there’s no tomorrow doesn’t try driving home tonight. There’s enough to worry about while running the business from behind the scenes. This past month that I’ve been working here on a more regular basis I’ve learned there’s even more shit to worry about when you’re here with the patrons. I’ve been mixing drinks, taking orders, and keeping up with the crowd for an hour now, I haven’t once thought about the girl who won’t leave my thoughts alone.
By midnight I haven’t had a chance to check my phone at all. Gabe wasn’t wrong when he said tonight was going to be busy. Finally able to sneak a look at my phone I see a text from Al to call her when I can and a missed call from a local area code. Unlike my friends, I actually check my voicemail regularly.
“Hi, this is Allen Peterson with Hollstalf Law here in LA. If you could please call me back regarding your friend Mr. Sheridan’s estate I would greatly appreciate it.” He leaves his number that I scribble down frantically before hanging up.
His estate? That little shit left me something? I wonder if I was listed as one of the beneficiaries since he wasn’t close to his family for all those years.
Fuck.
“Everything good?” Gabe asks, wiping his hands from the bar towel as he walks into the stock room.
“Yea. That was Lane’s lawyer. Looks like I have to meet for something.” I sigh, hating that this all can’t just be over with. I’m tired of being sad and angry that I lost a brother.
He looks at me with a
sympathetic look on his face, then pats my shoulder and walks away. He knows how rough I had it when he died. I slept on his couch, for Christ’s sake, because I couldn’t bring myself to go home and pass Lane’s door. He knows, and he’s there for me, but with something like this… it’s not going to just go away. I’m going to need to learn to live with it.
Alexis
“Alexis, do you know why you were asked to meet with me?” Allen Peterson, Lane’s lawyer, asks from across my parent’s kitchen table.
“I’m assuming it’s because there are still loose ends that need to be tied up neatly since Lane’s passing.” It’s hard as hell for me to talk about this without tearing up, but business is where I excel. Just being in this situation has me feeling more alive than I’ve felt in the last few months.
“Correct. You, along with Mr. Simms were named as beneficiaries to Mr. Sheridan’s will in the case of his death. There were funds set aside and plans pre arranged due to his conditions so the funeral and costs are all covered and finalized, but there are still a lot of loose ends, shall you say.” He smiles and passes me a file folder. “In here you’ll find all accounts that belonged to Mr. Sheridan, along with passwords and pins to gain access to all accounts. You will be splitting the estate 50/50 with Mr. Simms. Would you like our financial aids to help you in the splitting of these funds?”
I stare at him, eyes wide and mouth open after listening to the blunt words come out of his mouth I know he’s a busy man, but he didn’t waste any time at all getting to the point.
“Estate?” I stutter, opening the folder to see the numbers he’s talking about. “Holy shit,” I whisper, looking at the multiple accounts and digits in front of me.
“Yes. Estate. He assured me you would be comfortable taking control of his apartment and personal belongings. If this isn’t the case anymore, we are going to need to get it out of his name and on the market. It can’t just sit there-”
“Wait… what? His apartment? I can’t afford his apartment. I don’t live there, anymore, I can’t…. why the hell has this taken so long to get put into motion? He died months ago!”
“Ms. Grant, we were instructed in very… stern… words by your own parents lawyer to give you time to heal and get back on your feet before approaching you with this information. They feared it would cloud your already foggy state of mind if approached too fast with this much… money. Mr. Sheridan owns the building his and Mr. Simms’s apartment is in. It is paid in full, the only thing you’d be responsible for is sharing the taxes with your upstairs neighbor, Mr. Simms.”
I glance down again at the numbers on the paper, taking in the seven digits to split in half and lose all train of thought once my mind processes what he just told me.
“My parent’s lawyer?” What?
“Yes… I came to visit you in the hospital, but I was given the name of your parent’s lawyer and not let in to see you. I was under the assumption that you were aware of all this. I apologize, Alexis, if this is all news to you. It wasn’t my intention to throw all this at an unsuspecting person today.” He looks truly remorse for what he did, but it’s not his fault.
It’s my parent’s fault. Why would they tell them that? Why would they keep it from me?
“Ok, so… I uh… are we done here? Is there anything else you need to tell me or can I take this and get started on… this…” I don’t even know what ‘this’ is that I need to get started on, but I have to talk to my parents. I need to know what else they’ve done behind my back. I need this man out of my house so I can get my thoughts together.
“Just one more thing,” he says, and then pulls out a white envelope with Lane’s handwriting scrawled across the front. ‘My Al’, in his manly all caps handwriting that he never could get away from along with a heart in the bottom right corner. My heart sinks as he slides it across the table to me. “This is for you. I was instructed to give this to you only after the cancer took him. I know it wasn’t cancer that took him, and I don’t know what’s in here, but I know he would want you have the words in here no matter what. He was very much in love with you, Alexis.” He hands me the envelope and I take it with shaky hands. Lane touched this. He wrote these words for me. This is the final time I’ll ever see his words, and I’m not certain I want to open this letter.
“Thanks,” I mumble.
I see him out and lay against the door as it clicks shut. This new information has me reeling.
My parents are the reason I moved home. They are the reason I’m here right now, because had they let the lawyer get to me earlier while I was still in the hospital, I would have probably chosen to stay in LA.
Holy shit this changes everything.
“Dad,” I blurt, opening the door to the office where he was hiding. Startled, he looks up at me. “What’s this about a lawyer wanting to contact me, but you guys wouldn’t let him?” Slamming the door, he stares at me like he’s just been caught and sighs heavily.
“I think we need to wait to talk about this when your mom gets home, Alexis,” he mumbles, standing from his desk and moving to the kitchen.
I love my parents. We’ve had our rough times, of course, but honestly I’ve always thought I’ve had a pretty fantastic relationship with my parents. I refuse to believe they did whatever they did out of spite and with bad intentions. They always agreed with my life in LA, even if it meant I didn’t get to see them as much. There’s no reason they should be keeping things like this from me.
When my mom gets home she’s completely oblivious to the news that I’m about to drop on her. News that I know what game she played, even if… at the time… she didn’t know she was playing a game.
“Dear, we need to sit down and talk with Alexis,” my dad says as my mom walks into the kitchen. She sees the look on his face and knows immediately that something’s wrong.
“I know, Mom. I met with the lawyer today. Finally.” Crossing my arms, my papers still in my firm grip, I watch her face fall, defeated.
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” she whispers. A tear slips down her face as she sits at the table next to my dad. They both look so old and beaten down by life. I’ve never looked at them in this light before. They’ve both aged dramatically since I first moved to LA.
God, why am I so pissed that I moved back here to be with them? I don’t have much time left with them in the grand scheme of things. I know they aren’t going to be around much longer, if a month or two of my adult life is spent living in their house while they help nurse me, mentally, back to health then so be it. I think I’m more hurt that they hid this from me. I thought we pretty much told each other everything.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, Alexis. You and Lane… everything. God, Alexis, if you could have seen the devastation on Braydon’s face the night of the accident. I’ve never seen anyone look so broken. You have so many people that love you. It all wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” She sniffles and shakes her head, not making eye contact with anyone in the room. “Your father and I were in the waiting room the next day, before you woke up, and the lawyer came in. He wanted to wait until you woke up. You were everything on Lane’s accounts so they were trying to wait for you to wake up to make you make the big decisions. I knew you couldn't handle that, Alexis. You… you have to believe I made him go away for this long because I thought it’d be better for you to have time to find yourself again after the accident. I knew you’d be angry with me, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t do it to take you away from your friends, Alexis. I didn’t do it to take you away from a man that obviously loves you.”
“Mom, what?” I gasp, her words hitting a nerve with me. “The man I love is dead. I’m not sure what is happening between Braydon and I, but Lane was his best friend and my boyfriend. We aren’t going to do that to him.”
My dad clears his throat and speaks up, “Alexis… You only get a second chance at living life so many times before you’re left alone and miserable the rest of your life.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“What your father is trying to say, honey, is that you don’t need to not love because of your love for Lane. Don’t push aside any feelings, no matter how guilty they make you feel.”
“I’m not guilty,” I blurt, feeling my anger rising. I do feel guilty, but they don’t need to know that. “I’m hurt that you guys didn’t tell me. I’m upset that I can’t seem to find myself like I thought I would, and I’m scared that I never will unless I move back to LA!” I spit out the last part before I even know what I’m saying, now they’re looking at each other with the look I remember from my childhood when they both knew something was inevitable to happen. They were just waiting for it to go down. The ‘I told you so’ look.
“So… what’d the lawyer have to tell you today?” My mom smiles gently, pulling out the chair at the table for me to sit. I move towards her, finally feeling like I can move around like a normal person. Albeit a little slower than I’d like, I’m beginning to get around a lot better than I thought I ever would. Sitting in the chair, I set the file folder in front of me and stare at the name “Sheridan” on the tab.
“I need to clear out his apartment,” I mumble, picking at the corner of the envelope. “It only makes sense. It can’t just sit there empty.”
My parents nod and my mom clears her throat. I see them exchange another glance and feel like I’m being handled with kid gloves and don’t like it.
“Listen,” I say, standing up. “I’m going to head up to take a nap before dinner. There are lots I need to think about and I’m just on overload right now. Thanks for everything, guys. Soon I’m going to be able to do more around here… maybe learn to live on my own again.” I smile and leave the room, making my way to my bedroom and shutting the door behind me and tossing the papers from today on my desk.
