‘Please…’ I whispered, I couldn’t bring forth words. My tongue grew heavy in my mouth and the sickness inside me rose.
I ignored Josh’s confused expression and focused on the pain in Illarion’s face instead.
He struggled to his feet and, on unsure legs, he walked around, touching and feeling me in everything, until finally, he stood a tentative foot away from the bed.
And in that moment, every thought I’d ever had, every plea I’d made to die, was right there, open like a book.
‘Don’t,’ I pleaded, unable to hold myself together anymore.
Illarion dropped to his knees and, with trembling hands, he grazed the sheets. I grit my teeth as I watched Illarion’s head drop. Seconds later, he ripped the sheets from the bed and threw the bedside table against the wall. It shattered loudly throwing splinters of wood all around him.
Josh did his best to keep his eyes to his own screen, but I saw the shocked expression from the corner of my eye.
Quickly, I glanced at all the other screens, in case the noise alerted someone to our presence. I scanned all the feeds and returned my attention to Illarion.
‘You need to leave now.’
He pushed the rest of the furniture around violently until the whole room was ripped apart.
Movement off to the right of one of the monitors drew my attention. Josh caught on and warned the other agents.
Someone had been there and Illarion just alerted them and whoever else was watching.
‘You’re clear on the south side,’ I said, checking back to make sure there weren’t any more bogies.
When Illarion cleared the building, he was intercepted by one of Dalca’s men I hadn’t seen on the surveillance.
I held my breath as he blocked the right hook coming at his face. Aurel was hit from his side too. Two men ambushed him from behind the building, throwing him to the ground.
‘Sparrow,’ Josh called out to Simms. ‘Titan is down, get to him now!’
She ditched her rendezvous and ran, letting my breath go. I returned my attention to Illarion.
He was on the ground, fighting off a knife aimed right at his heart. My heart sped up as the man on top of him got the upper hand and pressed his forearm to Illarion’s throat. A sense of panic ran through me. Illarion was struggling, badly. He was a better fighter than most people I’d ever met, what was happening?
When he finally threw the man off, he turned his face and I got a good look. His eyes were completely black, just like the guy I fought in Bob’s pantry last year. What the hell were these supercharged freaks?
Illarion threw a kick, launching his foot right into his chest; the man dropped and Illarion moved. He spun on the spot, scissor kicking him, knocking him out.
He picked up the bag he’d dropped and ran.
Glancing over at Josh’s monitor, I let out a shaky breath. He and Simms were safe and heading back to rendezvous with us.
Illarion pulled the door open and rushed through the dark pathways, making it back to the designated meeting point.
Aurel was heading toward him about two minutes out. The other two agents took down three bogies with Aurel narrowly avoided being made by another. Christ, we were lucky this didn’t go worse.
‘Move,’ I spoke while I focused on keeping an eye out on the other monitors. Illarion moved stealthily through the dark grounds and, once I saw he was clear of the garden, I pulled the headset off my head and threw it to the table.
‘Keep your eyes on them.’
‘What? Ace, wait!’ he called after me as soon as I slipped out of the back of the van.
I stormed down the path, ignoring Josh. I had every confidence to know he’d turn around and go back to the van. He needed to stay and work with the other agents. But I needed to find Illarion.
The familiar garden path leading past the fountain came into view and it took every effort to keep my eyes averted and keep walking.
I swallowed back the anger building inside me and pushed myself faster.
Illarion came into view and, before I could stop myself, I walked up to him and slapped him.
He didn’t even flinch. I slapped him again, this time harder. And when I reached to slap him for the third time he caught my hand and pulled me against him.
‘You’re a fucking jerk!’ I screamed, trying in vain to pull back.
He remained silent, but his arms were tight around me.
‘Why did you do that?’ I cried against him.
The anger I had moments ago, was replaced by a relentless, never ending pain and a violent torrent of tears.
He felt everything.
‘You shouldn’t have gone in there!’
Stopping him from coming closer, I pushed him back.
‘I should have listened to the dreams.’
He let out a deep breath as his eyes found mine and his dark lashes lowered. Tears wet his eyes as they spilled across his cheeks.
‘I should have known, I knew that you weren’t gone, I knew you couldn’t be… But there were so many wards… they must have finally faded now.’
I shot him a questioning look, he was mumbling, incoherent. His mind was scattered, all over the place.
We didn’t have time for this. ‘We need to leave, now.’
He wanted to argue, but I didn’t give him a chance to speak as I stormed off and made my way back down the same way I came. As we rounded the last of the toxic garden, he followed me into the van.
Aurel and Josh both gave us a questioning look, but the expression on Illarion’s face told them to back off. Aurel pulled the van out, onto the road and we were moving.
I refused to look at him; right now I was so angry I couldn’t say a word without saying something I would regret.
We reached the jet, and I stormed back up without a word, no one approached me and I sat with my gaze glued to the horizon outside. I didn’t even care that the blondie was trying to comfort him. His dark eyes were raging with a thunderous storm and his gaze never wavered from my direction. But I… I couldn’t look at him. The tears continued to fall, and the silence was suffocating.
The sky was opening up for a rainstorm building in the distance, a lot like the storm building inside me. Not only did he know everything now, he had felt it. I was completely bare, and I’d never expected to have felt like that, because of Illarion.
Forcing back the tears that wanted to escape again, I closed my eyes. I felt him shift a few rows away, but he didn’t come to me. I focused everything I had inside me on blocking myself off from him and Aurel but mostly, myself.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ace
Illarion tried to come to me as the jet landed but, amongst the commotion of other Agents rushing to get out and Josh feigning ignorance to buy me some time, I managed to escape to the Hummer and sit down, waiting for them to join me. At that point, he got the hint.
He slammed the doors shut as he loaded the last of our equipment into the trunk and helped Josh with his things. Thank god, he was joining us. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the silence on the way back to Illarion’s house.
It was well into the evening now and all three men in my company looked like they were about to explode with tension, Illarion carrying the worst of it.
The cobblestone mansion came into view and before the car had even stopped rolling, I was already out the door.
Leaving behind whatever I had brought, I stormed up the steps, and through the front doors. It was a good thing Daniel was conveniently waiting for our arrival.
‘Ace, wait!’ Illarion called.
‘Get the hell away from me.’
‘Please stop,’ he said firmly, trying to reach for me.
When I pulled back, I shoved him, making him stumble. And when he moved again, I stepped up to him, making sure that we were eye to eye and there would be no mistaking the next words out of my mouth.
‘Do not touch me again.’
Promptly, he stepped back, pain flaring in his eyes
.
Daniel appeared beside us, his eyes wide with confusion.
‘What’s going on?’ He looked across at Illarion and then me.
When neither of us answered, I made a beeline for my room and left them.
Daniel tried to follow, but he didn’t.
***
Illarion
Ace was gone, leaving me and Daniel in the hallway, reliving the aftermath. He was about to follow her but I stopped him
‘Can I talk to you?’
He turned around looking like he was lost for words.
‘Yeah, yeah sure.’ He nodded.
Turning from him, I led him down to my office and when we were both inside, I shut the door with a loud thud.
He was intimidated by me but he was standing tall, standing his ground.
I pressed my hands flat to my desk and looked up at him.
‘I know what happened between you two.’
His eyes widened, and he stepped back, defensively folding his arms across his chest.
At this point, I wasn’t in the mood for sugar coating this, as blunt as it came out, that’s all I had in me. I’d taken a backseat, letting this play out. But enough was enough.
‘I know what she went through put you both in a precarious position. I get that, you were there when she needed someone.’
‘She was in a really bad place, Illarion, she wasn’t thinking straight.’
Damn it. I hit my fist against the table.
‘That’s exactly why you should have been.’
He flinched, opened his mouth to argue, and promptly closed it.
‘She needed you to be better than that.’
‘You’re right. You are.’ He shook his head, dropping his gaze. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I don’t want your apology, Daniel. I don’t want anything from you.’
He sucked in a deep breath but remained silent, transfixed and hanging onto every word I was saying.
‘Don’t mistake my understanding for anything other than what it is.’
He looked like he had a lot more he wanted to say but it wasn’t the first time I’d exerted my will to silence someone. I was good at it because I was fighting for something worth fighting for.
‘I need you to take a step back now. Do we understand each other?’
He gave me curt nod.
‘Good.’ I kept my eyes firmly on his, ensuring there was no mistaking the direction of this conversation. ‘I know she cares about you, and you’re a good friend. But don’t overstep your bounds.’
He nodded again and his emotions ran wild. I felt the anger simmering inside him. He was frustrated with me, furious with himself, but he remained calm on the surface.
‘I’ve got some work I have to do. Aurel’s going to start deciphering the information we gathered. You can help with that. It should be familiar information.’
‘Yeah, no problem.’
Sitting down, I turned my attention away from him and he stayed frozen in place for a while, before finally leaving. I let out the breath I’d been holding and shook my head.
***
Ace
As soon as I slammed the door shut, I pulled my tactical vest off. I dropped it at the door and stripped. I shoved my feet into my pyjamas and pulled on my sweatshirt.
Glad now that Elsa was the one who picked my clothes out, I relaxed into the soft cotton. They weren’t pretty or sexy, they were warm and comfortable. And comfortable is exactly what I needed tonight. I wanted to crawl under the covers, watch a bad movie, and eat chocolate until I threw up which, going by my recent track record, wouldn’t have been too long after.
A quiet, quick succession of taps at the door drew my attention to it. I sighed, rolling my eyes.
I’d worked so hard on keeping my shield up, I hadn’t even realized that it was Illarion at the door. My heart sped up; I couldn’t look at him, not right now. I couldn’t do this.
‘Can I please come in?’
‘What do you want?’
It might have been rude, but I was so angry with him, if I tried any harder to suppress everything that I wanted to say, I would probably erupt and bring the whole house down with me.
A new sensation which somehow didn’t surprise me, originated deep inside. First it was static, buzzing around me, and then came the hum making the small bulb beside my bed, flicker. When the air in my lungs caught, I had to remind myself to breathe. As soon as I took a calculated breath, the flickering stopped, and I exhaled.
‘Can we talk?’
‘There’s nothing to talk about right now.’
He pushed the door open anyway; my mouth gaped. Was he kidding?
‘I can’t talk to you through the door.’
‘That’s the point, Illarion, why are you here?’
He crossed the distance between us and stood just a foot away from my bed. I didn’t bother getting up, he wouldn’t be staying long.
‘Please talk to me.’
‘You ignored me.’
Illarion bowed his head and ran a hand through his loose hair.
‘I want to apologize-’
‘You could have listened to me, why didn’t you? I was calling to you, telling you to stop.’
My voice was growing louder and less stable.
He didn’t have a response, nothing at all. He stayed silent, but the bulb began to flicker again. His eyes darted between the light and my eyes.
‘You hurt me so much, I begged you to stop and you know what?’ I shook my head looking away from him. ‘All I could think was that no matter how many times I pleaded, no matter how many times I said no, you didn’t listen and I felt like it was Dalca all over again.’
Illarion’s eyes widened with shock, his aura pulsed erratically as he digested the words I just said.
‘I don’t know how to get past this, Ila.’
‘Don’t say that….’
‘You never should have seen that, never, and you directly chose to ignore me, when I was pleading with you to stop. You chose to do what you did.’
‘I needed to know.’
‘Why?’ The bulb flared. ‘What good came of it?’
He remained quiet but his eyes moved to the light beside me.
‘You were the only safe place I had. You, you, were the only thing that wasn’t tainted with what happened there.’
His eyes widened as he looked between me and the light, I was losing all composure and the flaring grew brighter and brighter but at this point, I didn’t care. All I wanted now, that the floodgates were opened, was to tell him everything on my mind.
‘I never wanted you to see all that and now you’ve felt everything. You know everything, and I, I don’t know how to do this. I needed you. I needed you to be that safety for me!’
His eyes filled with tears, he tried to step closer but I focused everything I had inside me and stopped him. ‘Get out!’
A weak, shaky whisper of my name left his lips.
‘Go!’ I yelled.
When he refused, I felt the rage inside me grow. As his eyes flicked from the flaring light, to me, I felt it snap inside me.
‘Get out!’
The bulb exploded, shattering into a thousand pieces and Illarion… I’ll never forget the look of terror on his face as he jerked back, shielding his face form the glass.
He looked at me and then left.
The door shut with a loud thud and I buried my body under the soft doona, collapsing with the strain.
As tears burned my eyes, I closed them and eventually let sleep claim me. The buzzing of electricity, quietening beside me.
***
Ace
By the time I’d woken up, they had already begun working on analyzing the files that we had managed to gather last night. I ignored the pang of pain that shot through me when I saw him, sitting at the table, eyes focused on me. That same confused, terrified look haunted him. I was a freak.
I turned away and poured myself a coffee, taking a seat beside Aurel who quietly h
anded me a pile of papers to go through.
‘As far as I can tell from all of this, he’s meant to be in New York tomorrow.’
I read over the names on the list, three of the five agents on it were stationed here, somewhere. So, it only made sense that he’d try to locate them first.
‘So, we go to each of them and wait?’
Illarion cleared his throat. ‘He’d be expecting that, we need to lie low.’
‘We can start by setting up a perimeter around Starbucks, stakeout for a few hours, take a few surveillance shots.’
Aurel looked at me and then Illarion. ‘She’s got a point. Surveillance can be done by us, no point bringing in all the tech.’
‘Correct,’ I nodded, glad that he was catching what I was throwing. ‘If he’s expecting it, he’ll have contingencies in place, most likely signal jammers, EMPs.’
‘Good,’ Illarion said, handing me another pile, his eyes lingered on the small yet painfully large gap between our hands. I pulled back, regaining my composure. ‘You take this Agent, I’ll take Riggs and Aurel will watch Mason.’
‘Why haven’t they been warned yet?’ I looked at Aurel.
He shook his head pointing at another column beside their names. ‘They’re too far undercover, there’s no way to get information to them without burning them.’
Awesome. This was going to be easy, nothing to it.
‘We’ll leave tonight.’ Illarion nodded to me and then Aurel, we both gave him a quick nod back.
Trying to be civil and professional was a lot harder than I thought and every time he looked at me, I wanted to burst into tears.
The betrayal was still fresh in my mind and the way he looked at me, I knew, I knew that I could never really forget it. Every time he looked at me now, he heard every thought that had ever run through my mind there. He felt every painful moment that I’d gone through, every terrifying night I cried myself to sleep when Dalca left me alone. He knew every single thing they did to me. He might as well have been there, watching. I closed my eyes briefly, composing myself.
‘Who else is in?’ I asked, focusing my question at Aurel even though Illarion was heading this operation, as he always did.
He didn’t say anything, instead he remained quiet letting Aurel answer.
King of Hart Page 28
