by Ali Parker
I slid my hands around her face and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. "You're one of my oldest friends. You can make this work if you want to. If you don't, then stop trying to create drama and get out of the relationship."
"Oldest friends as in time we've been friends or-" She smiled and cupped her hands over mine as she closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to my chest. "I'm scared I'll never know love. Is this career really worth all of that? To give up knowing love?"
"There's no guarantee that we'll know that regardless of our careers or callings, right? Love is a fickle bitch." I pressed my cheek to the top of her head. "I'm totally falling for Riley, by the way. It's fucking up everything."
She moved back and glanced up. "Oh man. Does she know?"
"Yeah. No." I shrugged and rubbed her cheeks softly. "Break up with your guy and come help me make her jealous? I have a really big-"
"Hey. Don't even, or I'll tell Deza on you."
"A really big heart, you dirty bird." I leaned in and kissed her forehead one more time before jerking back.
Riley.
"Hey guys." She gave us a half wave and a sad smile before walking toward the building.
"Hey you. We missed you." I dropped my hands from Tricia like I'd been burned.
"Yeah. I'm praying for you," Tricia called after her.
"Thanks," she mumbled and walked into the building.
"God, she's beautiful. I can't stop thinking about her. She's in my day dreams, my wet dreams, my-"
"Go after her. Idiot." Tricia pushed at my chest, surprising me a little. She was usually so docile. "Go find out what's wrong and help her get through it."
"What? No. That's what they would do in the movies. I'm not faking the rest of my life like I fake my job." I shook my head and tried to ignore how badly I wanted to go after her.
"The movies emulate real life, Ethan. The best parts of it. Go after her, or I will."
"You like girls?" I lifted my eyebrow as she smiled.
"Get out of here and see what's up with her. Someone else is going to move in and take her if you don't."
"I'm afraid someone already did." I slipped my hands into my pants pockets and turned to watch her walk down the hall. Thank God for big windows in the conference room building.
I followed the line of where she was headed and felt my stomach turn. Clayton. Fucking Clayton Welms.
"Ugh. I hate that asshole." I started for the door.
"Who? The guy she's with?"
"No. The one that's going to steal her away from me before I really get her." I walked in and stopped at the entrance to the hall. "Riley?"
She paused and glanced back as a sweet smile played on her perfect pink lips. "Hey. How are you?"
"I'm okay. I've missed you." I walked toward her. Was I really going to start the conversation after a week of not seeing her with offering her my heart on a silver platter? I'd been at her mother's funeral the week before, but we hadn't spoken a word. She's been so lost. So broken.
"Me too." She brushed her short hair behind her ear and took a shallow breath. "I heard you're up shit’s creek with Deza."
I chuckled and reached out to tuck the same unruly hair behind her ear. "Yeah, it's the norm around here. A poor guy can't go out for a drink and a few dry humps on a dance floor without getting an earful."
She laughed, and the room brightened around me. "I'm sorry about the scene in the funeral home. I guess that was you that caught me when I walked out of the sanctuary?"
"Yeah, fate put me in the right place at the right time. I thought about copping a feel, but the moment didn't seem quite right." I smirked as she laughed again. "Don't apologize for anything. I wish I could have taken your pain away. It broke my heart."
I touched my chest as I searched her face. What was it about her that left me bent in half, needy and desperate for her attention, for her touch, for words of affirmation?
Affirmation? God, you're such a pussy.
"Thanks. I'm doing better. I have my exams this week, and Friday, I'm starring front and center for the UCLA spring production of Phantom of the Opera. Should be fun."
"You sing?" I could see her being the perfect lead for the play. Innocent and beautiful.
"Yeah, but only when I'm forced to." She glanced over her shoulder as the door opened. I couldn't help but notice the vein beating like crazy in the side of her neck as she turned. Was she worked up over talking to me or seeing Clayton? He was a legend of sorts.
Speaking of the bastard.
"Ethan. Good to see you, old friend." He turned and smiled at Riley, looking like a vulture who'd been starved for a while. "And you must be Riley. Your pictures do you no justice, though they are quite stunning."
She laughed and extended her hand. Her shoulders stiffened as he gripped them and leaned down, kissing her on each cheek. Her voice was nothing more than a whisper when she responded.
"Wow. It's so nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan of your work."
He winked at her and moved toward me as Frank walked up, stealing Riley’s attention for a minute.
"No kisses for me this time, old man. I'm not interested in you figuring yourself out sexually." I extended my hand and shook his tightly as my teeth clenched. The look of challenge in his smoky gaze pissed me off instantaneous look. Sorry bastard.
The movie had won all sorts of Academy awards, though the lead was to be played by a much younger man. Clayton was smooth as all get out, but no one wanted to recognize it but me. He was a fucking snake dressed up to look like a knight in shining armor.
"I'm watching you," I whispered as he glared down at me.
"Good. Watch me while I steal this girl’s heart and then her panties. You don't... like her, right?" His words drove anger deep inside me.
"I'll fuck you up so good, you won't know what hit you, asshole." I took a step forward, ready to rip him apart.
"Guys! Really. Damn." Deza walked down the hall toward us, yelling at us the whole time, but neither of us moved. "Come on. I know you have bad blood, but this isn't the time. All right?"
"You're right. I've actually gotten over all of it, but it would seem Ethan hasn't. I'm sad to see that." Clayton shrugged and put his arm around Deza's shoulders. "Come on, let's get all of the paperwork signed." He glanced over toward Riley. "See you in a few minutes, yes?"
She nodded and turned back to face me. "You okay?"
"No. I'm not." I turned and walked back to the front of the studio. The sound of her heels clicking behind me gave me hope that she was following me. Why did I find it so damn hard to go after her, but she had all the courage in the world to come after me? The roles were reversed.
"Ethan." She grabbed the back of my arm. "Please. What happened? Should I tell Deza to get someone else?"
She trusted me. Trusted my opinion. Was it skewed because I was falling for her?
I turned and crossed my arms over my chest. "I want you to do whatever you think you should do. Honestly."
"What happened between you guys?"
"I'll tell you all about it soon, but like all shitty situations in life, it's only one side of the story. I'm sure cock-head in there has his own version too."
"Did you..." she tilted her head to the side and moved closer, "did you get hit in the face?"
"Yeah. Deza's boyfriend was up here, giving her hell, and I got in the middle of it."
"Darren?"
I'd forgotten that Darren was Riley's old agent.
"Yeah. I'm fine though." I glanced down at her as she reached up to touch the side of my face. Everything inside me screamed to grab her, throw her over my shoulder and find the nearest set with a bed in it to make her mine.
"You don't look fine." She brushed her fingers under my eye, and I reached up and grabbed her wrist.
"Hey. I said I'm good."
Chapter 15
Riley
His words bit into me, as if after the stuff we'd been through still left me with no right to touch him. I pulled my han
d back and stood a step back.
"Right. I'm sorry." I offered a sheepish smile. "I should go."
"No, don't. I'm sorry. That guy brings out the worst in me. I swear he was sent to earth to fuck with my head." He ran his fingers through his hair and studied me. Just being near him left my heart racing in a way it hadn't around anyone else.
"I'm glad to hear you helped out Deza. She looked pretty upset when we had breakfast on Saturday." I clasped my hands in front of me to keep from reaching out. Had it really been a week ago that we were tearing at each other, wanting so badly to use each other for pleasure? It was so much more than pleasure where I was concerned.
"She's gotta figure out what she wants to do about him. The two of them can't keep meeting up because of some silly reason that one of them comes up with. They get together and fight because they're not grown up enough to realize they’re still in love." He shrugged and glanced over his shoulder where Tricia stood.
"You should go. I didn't mean to interrupt you guys." I knew they weren't officially together, but seeing him comforting her when I walked by left me with one conclusion. They were way more than friends. Maybe they were something like me and Jace, but Tricia was married. It was too confusing to dive into with everything else going on in my life.
"What?" He chuckled and reached out, running his hand down my arm and clasping my fingers. "I'm not anything to Tricia. She's having trouble in her marriage, and I'm a safe place to land."
"Like Jace is to me?"
"I don't like talking about Jace, but no. I'm not sleeping with her." He squeezed my hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. "I should have called."
"Why is that? We're co-workers with an attraction to each other. You're not responsible for checking up on me."
His tongue darted out and ran in a slow circle over my fingers as my insides purred. "Just co-workers, hmmm? I thought we were becoming more." He kissed my hand again and released it. "Maybe I was wrong, but maybe not."
"I need to go."
"Don't wanna talk about the night you almost let me inside of you, Riley? So close, right? So fucking close that when I close my eyes... I can feel you beneath me in the sand. I can hear your soft whimpers and smell your skin."
"What do you want from me, Ethan?" I pressed my hands to his chest, needing him to stop. I wasn't nearly as put together as I thought. He could pull a few strings, push a few buttons and I would melt in a sickeningly wet puddle before him.
He opened his deep brown eyes and stepped closer. "I want that night back. I think it had the power to help us stop fucking around and do something incredible together."
"Like make us better actors?" I gripped his shirt in an effort to not feel the twitching of his chest muscles beneath my fingers. He was too much, too overwhelming, too beautiful to imagine as someone who could belong to me.
"Do you love Jace?"
"No. And I'm not sleeping with you like I sleep with him." I pushed at his chest. "I can't. It might seem stupid, but it would leave me empty. I don't want any more empty in my life right now, okay?"
Somewhere along the way, tears had blurred my vision. His fingers were soft as he brushed them away and leaned down to kiss my cheeks, one at a time.
"Okay. I'm sorry." The sound of his shaky inhale left my heart quaking inside of me. I prayed like hell that Clayton or Deza or someone could make me stronger. I needed to separate desire on the screen from desire off the screen. Maybe I was mixing up the two, but I seriously doubted it.
"Don't apologize. Just protect me right now like you promised you would." I moved back and sucked in a deep breath. "God, you turn me on."
"Me too. I turn me on all the time." He moved back, leaving me to stand alone. "All right. How about dinner Friday night? My brother Liam has a big ugly house in the city. Come out and bring Charlotte with you, or are we calling her Jade still?"
I laughed in spite of myself. "It's Charlotte. Do you really think us having dinner would help anything right now?"
"Yeah, I do. I want to bond as friends. We'll just have to keep the part of us that wants to fuck in the shower like bunnies at bay." He shrugged and gave me a boyish smirk. He was beyond cocky, and I loved him for it. "That sound fun?"
"The sex or the denial?"
"Well, when you put it that way, jeez." He winked at me and nodded toward the building. "I'm sure father time is getting antsy. Get in there and show his old ass up, just promise not to fall for him. If you're going to fall for a movie star asshole with a swollen ego and a great smile, it's going to be me. Not him. Promise?"
I laughed and nodded my head. "Yeah, I promise."
"Good. Get out of here before I change my mind about this stupid friendship nonsense and haul you off by your hair like a caveman to my trailer."
"So corrupt." I turned and walked back toward the studio as my blood raced through my body at breakneck speed. I wanted to belong to him, but it wasn't happening today. I needed to heal, to find myself again, or maybe for the first time ever.
"Friday night. I'll text you the address."
I glanced over my shoulder. "It's Tuesday. Are you planning on hiding for the rest of the week?"
"Would it make me seem incredibly mysterious and you'd be willing to do anything to uncover my secrets?"
"Define anything." I smiled, knowing I was pressing my luck.
"In your dreams, baby." He smiled and turned, walking back toward Tricia. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off of him.
"Clayton's waiting for you." Deza walked out of the open door I stood holding open for no one.
"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry."
"It's all right. He's mesmerizing to all of us. You just gotta learn how to keep a poker face around him." She winked at me and walked toward Ethan.
"Ethan or Clayton?"
She glanced back. "Both."
I chuckled and walked down the hall toward the conference room Deza had texted me earlier. I was nervous, but I wasn't. It was an odd place to be, but seeing Ethan helped something snap into place. I was good enough to act next to the biggest, hottest name in Hollywood. I could hold my head a little higher than I had lately, and surely believe a little more in myself. Everyone around me seemed to think I was capable of greatness.
When the hell had I started to believe that I wasn't? Shit, when had I ever started believing that I was?
"Sorry to keep you waiting." I walked in and stopped short. Something about Clayton left me paralyzed in place. It wasn't his looks or the way his eyes left me feeling completely bare before him. It was his past, his achievements, his greatness. The man was a god on Broadway and had been in some of the biggest movies of the last fifteen years.
"Not a problem. That Ethan Lewis can captivate all of us, me included." He smiled and patted the desk beside him where he sat. "Come here and tell me a little bit about yourself. I've been talking to Deza about how you got the part for Down Low, which I love. It's about time these stiff-necked bastards opened an audition to see what new talent there was right under their noses."
I sat down beside him and spent the next hour talking about myself. My dreams and aspirations, my desires and biggest challenges. By the end of our conversation, I was completely relaxed and felt good. Solid. Warm.
He'd used probing questions to help me dig deeper and where they weren't comfortable at first, by the time he stood up and rolled his shoulders, inviting me to join him, I was invested in our relationship. Him the teacher and me the pupil. Me... a nobody and the great Clayton Welms.
"All right. Shake out your shoulders. We're going to do some improvisation. You know what that is, surely?" He lifted his eyebrow and gave me a challenging smile.
"Of course. Throw your best at me." I rolled my shoulders and took a few deep breaths through my nose.
"We've been together for five years, and you've been waiting on a ring from me. We're at your favorite restaurant. Go."
"Are you here with me, or am I pretending like you're here?" I rolled my arms in big circles
, not feeling nearly as foolish as I should have. He had a way of calming me completely. I loved it.
"No questions. Use what you want. Do what you need. Improv. Go."
"Oh my God." I pressed my fingers to my lips as tears filled my eyes. "Yes. Yes to all of it." I reached out and pretended to pull someone close to me, kissing the air and spinning around.
He clapped and laughed. It was a simple one, but fun.
"Bravo. You'd think for a ring I'd get a little bit of tongue action, but great job."
I laughed loudly and rolled my eyes. "You men are all the same."
"Are we?" He rubbed his hands together and pressed the tips of his fingers against his lips. "You've been in love with me for five years and yet have never told me. I'm soon to ship off to the military and you think it's time I know. Go."
I moved toward him and slid my hands up his chest, fully using him as a prop this time. "I know you have to go, and I support that, but don't leave here without knowing how much you mean to me."
Something washed over me. My mind moved Clayton out of the picture and left Ethan standing before me, his beautiful brown eyes filled with desire that I'd yet to tap into.
"Every day I've spent beside you as a good friend... I've wanted more." I took a shaky breath and glanced down. "I wanna know what it's like to wake up beside you, to feel your fingers across my skin, to hear you cry out my name in the middle of the night when you've been overwrought with the pleasure I've doused you in. I need you. I need you today like I needed you yesterday." I licked my lips and pressed myself to the front of him. "Like I'll need you tomorrow when you're gone. Don't leave without knowing..."
He whispered, "That you love me."
The kiss was long and hard, it felt right, good, solid. I pressed into it and turned myself over to him, letting him be Ethan and opening myself up to the torrent of emotions that blasted through me. I moaned and turned my face, opening my mouth and welcoming his tongue.
