Giving up, I step toward the row of stall doors when one on the end opens and my sister steps out. Her shock face tells me that she didn’t expect me to be out here. My hand presses to my mouth as I stare at the girl I barely recognize. She looks terrible. This is the smallest I have ever seen her, and her once pretty face is filled with open sores and scabs. Her hair hanging in a stringy, greasy mess.
“What happened to you?” I ask from behind my hand.
She tugs at the long sleeves of her shirt trying hard to avoid eye contact. She doesn’t answer immediately, and I take a step closer.
“What have you gotten yourself into, Lynne?”
“Nothing you need to worry about,” she answers, scratching at her arm.
“Well, I am worried because, in case you forgot, I am taking care of your daughter while you are out doing God knows what. Also, I am worried because a guy you owe came into my work last night and then followed me to the parking lot where he proceeded to make threats. You brought me into this, and I deserve to know what the hell is going on.”
A panicked look rushes over her face as her lifeless eyes meet mine. “You have to keep him away from Jane. Don’t let him anywhere near her. I’m going to take care of it.”
“How, Lynne? How are you going to take care of this? And when are you going to start taking care of yourself? Christ, what the hell are you even on?”
I recognize all the signs, and I would be an idiot not to realize she was using the hard stuff. She’s displaying all the signs I know too well from when I watched Patrick slip away.
“Look, I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you again.”
“How?” I press again.
“It doesn’t matter. Just take care of Jane. She looks happy. Thank you for that.”
“Did you following us here?”
She looks unsure but answers as she pulls on her sleeves again. “I was meeting someone and saw you guys, so I followed, keeping my distance. I don’t want her to see me like this, but I just had to get a good look at her. I know you probably don’t believe me, but I love her.”
“Then get your life together, Lynne, and be a mother!” I yell, thankful for the empty bathroom.
“You don’t get it, Brenna. And you never will because you are just Little Miss Perfect who does no wrong.” Her once timid behavior turns hostile and defensive in an instant.
“You didn’t have to get into this life. I tried to help you, and all you did was screw me over in the end. So sorry if I don’t have sympathy for you. I made a choice a long time ago that I wanted better for myself, so I left. You could have done the same.”
“Yes, that’s right. You left. You left us all behind like we were nothing. Your boyfriend, your sister, your mother. You have always treated us all like we are beneath you. You never even talk to Mom anymore, and you just abandoned Patrick, yet they both had you sitting so high on a pedestal that no one could ever live up to you.” She has begun to lash out, and I know from experience how quickly this can turn ugly.
“What are you talking about?”
“All Mom ever asks is why can’t I be more like my sister? Why can’t I find a real job? Brenna is doing well for herself. Maybe she can give you pointers.” She mocks the tone of our mother. “Then there was Patrick, who only seemed to know how to talk about you. It would be worse after he would take off to see you. He would come back upset, and then we would get high, and he would cry to me. Cry about how he was a failure and lost the best thing that ever happened to him.” Tears pour from her eyes, and I feel my own slip down my cheeks. “I was so in love with him, and all he talked about was you, and you didn’t even care about him.”
“How dare you even say that!” My voice rises, and I step closer into her space. “You have no clue how hard it was to leave him. We had dreams, and I planned to spend my life with him, but he changed his mind. It was his choice to stay; I never left him behind, and every time he showed up on my doorstep, I tried to help him. So don’t you dare try to play down my feelings for him because he was my everything.”
“Good thing you found a replacement.”
My palm strikes her cheek, and a sting spreads through my hand. “Go to hell, Lynne. You want to hurt me? Is that what you wanted? Because you did a fantastic job.”
“You think this is hurt? You have no idea the pain I have felt. The day I told Patrick I was pregnant, he cried. Not because he was happy to become a dad; no, he cried because he knew you would never forgive him. Our baby was the nail in the coffin when it came to your relationship. One that had been over for years. But you know what was worse than that? Getting the phone call the very next day that he was dead. He overdosed the same night I told him we were having a baby, and I couldn’t even grieve properly. Everyone was so focused on you and making sure you were okay while I suffered alone.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I ask as she still scratches at her arm.
A lady walks through the door, takes one look at the two of us sobbing, and turns on her heels, walking right back out.
“What good would it have done?”
I think about everything she must have done and gone through on her own, and I can’t help but feel bad for her. I know how crushed I was during the months after Patrick’s death, and there she was. I didn’t even know she was pregnant at the time, much less that her baby’s father had just died.
“I don’t know, but you should have told me. Eventually, Jane will ask about her father. What did you plan to tell her?”
“I always had full intentions of telling her. I just didn’t know how to tell you, so I kept putting it off.” She attempts to dry her tears. “I have to go. I’m going to take care of the problem. Just keep Jane safe. I love you both.”
“Wait,” I call out, but she is already out the door, and it’s swinging back.
I contemplate running after her, but instead, I spend several minutes just staring at my reflection in the mirror. I am thankful Jane didn’t have to see her mother looking the way she does. It breaks my heart to know she’s that deep into the world of drugs. She has become a shell of the girl she once was. Even as she was talking, her pronunciation and speech were off. It worries me to think about how exactly she plans to take care of the problem. The man from last night doesn’t come off as someone you screw over or confront. Now I will worry even more for my sister’s safety and what else could be coming after me.
Once I have my emotions under control, I exit the bathroom, running directly into Logan.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask, surprised to find him waiting for me. Had I been gone that long?
“I didn’t feel right with you being alone, so I came to wait. Are you okay? Did something happen?” He rambles off the questions while holding me in his arms in front of the women’s bathroom with concern etched all over his face.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I ran into my sister, we talked, and then she ran off. She looks terrible, Logan, and I think she is in some serious trouble. I don’t know what to do.”
“What did she say?” he asks, walking us out of the hallway.
I thread my fingers through my hair and tug it all the way down to the ends. “She said that she would take care of the guy from last night and to make sure I kept Jane safe and away from him. I have a terrible feeling she is going to do something bad.”
“What can I do to help you?” he asks, and I fall in love with him a little more. Everything he does is to help me in any way he can, and I know I will never be able to repay him for all that he has done for me.
“How about we finish this shopping and go home?”
Keeping me close, he walks beside me back to the store where he left Tanner and Jane. When we find them, I die at the sight of Tanner with his arms full of pink, frilly pillows and Jane piling more pink items around his feet.
“Bro, I think your house is about to experience some pink overload. I feel my masculinity slipping away by the second just by holding these pillows.” He sits down on the disp
lay bed behind him and drops the pillows onto the mattress.
“Jane, sweetie, I don’t think you need that many throw pillows. How about you choose three?” I drop down to her level, and she begins to stick her lip out. “Now, don’t pout because only big girls get to choose how to decorate their room. You are getting lots of new things today, so you can go without a few extra pillows, right?”
Looking down at the floor, she nods her head. “But can I get the fluffy rug?” she asks.
I glance up at Logan, who is absolutely no help because he is looking just as hopeful as she is. No doubt, he would allow her to get everything inside this store.
“Yes, you can get the rug.”
“Thank you, BrennBrenn, thank you.” She jumps and throws her little body into mine, nearly knocking me over.
“Come on, let’s go pay for all this so we can get home and put your room together.”
Standing up, I begin to grab all the things she has stacked up on the floor, and the guys are quick to help. Taking it up to the counter, Jane watches as every item is rang up and then bagged, making sure nothing is left or forgotten. My eyes widen when the lady gives me the grand total, but I was expecting to drop a pretty penny today, so I pull out my debit card.
Logan’s arm reaches in front of my body before I can get the card out of my wallet.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m paying for the stuff,” he answers, raising a brow at me like I am the crazy one.
“I was planning to do that. You don’t need to pay for it.”
“I know I don’t need to. I want to.”
Frustrated, I turn away, only to find both Jane and Tanner watching us. Their eyes moving back and forth between us, resembling two children witnessing their parents arguing.
Obviously, Logan has significantly more money than I do, but that doesn’t mean I expect or want him to pay for everything. Every time I try to bring up contributing to the bills around the house, he changes the subject or suggests I pay in sexual favors. I am all for the sexual favors, but I also want to do my part when it comes to finances. Even if it’s something small like a utility bill.
As we walk back through the mall, I keep glancing around to see if Lynne is around, but I don’t see her again. Thankfully, Tanner is here and able to help us get all of Jane’s new purchases to the Range Rover. Between him and Logan, they took the majority of the bags, leaving me and Jane with just a couple of the smaller ones.
“Are you coming back to the house?” I ask Tanner as he presses the button to close the back hatch.
“No. I have some things to take care of, but I might swing by later.”
I don’t want to pry, but I am hoping that one of those things has to do with Bethany. Remembering she called him last night just as he was walking me out has me wondering what the call was about.
* * *
Arriving back at the house, we unload the car and get to work putting Jane’s room together. Luckily, she is completely satisfied with all her new accessories that we get away without having to paint the entire room. She keeps moving things from one area to another, trying to find the perfect spot. I stand back and watch with a smile, knowing this is the first time she will have an actual bedroom she was able to choose every piece of décor inside. If she wants to spend the next hour or more moving things around, then she can have at it.
I find Logan in the kitchen making sandwiches for the three of us and looking extremely sexy as he does it. Walking up behind him, I wrap my arms around his middle and press a kiss against his back. He sets the knife down on the granite counter and rubs my arm.
“So are you no longer mad at me?” he asks, and I remember that I was a little upset with him.
I drop my arms and step back, allowing him to turn around to face me. “I don’t want you to feel like you need to pay for everything. I was fully capable of covering everything at the mall, and you have yet to tell me what my portion of bills will be for staying here.”
“First of all, I know you could cover the cost today. I didn’t feel like I had to buy it; I wanted to. And as far as this house is concerned, I take care of that.”
Leaning back on the island, I cross my arms in aggravation. “I’m not some freeloader, Logan. I need to be able to pull my weight, and you have to let me.”
He takes determined step toward me and cages me in with his arms on the counter. “I was raised in a family where the man worked and took care of everything financially, both with my parents and my aunt and uncle. This is what I know, and it’s what I want to do.” He leans closer and presses his lips to mine. “I want to take care of you and Jane in all ways, Brenna. You have taken care of yourself since you were young, so I know how capable you are, but it’s time you let someone else step up to the plate. Let me be that person.”
“I can’t rely on someone else like that. The only guarantee I have in life is me. I don’t know that I can give up that control.”
I have spent my life only relying on myself because every time I put faith in someone, I was let down. My own family couldn’t be counted on, so how was I supposed to trust anyone else?
“It hurts to hear you say that because, in my eyes, we are a guarantee. I asked you to move in with me, Brenna, and I sure as shit wouldn’t have done that if I felt this was temporary. You are it for me. One-hundred percent it for me. How can you not feel the same? How many times must we have this same argument?”
Guilt hits me hard when I hear the sadness in his voice. I never intended to upset him, and knowing that I did causes me pain as well. He’s right, though; we have had this conversation multiple times, and each time it’s been because of my doubts and insecurities.
“I do feel the same, Logan. The love I have for you is like nothing I have ever experienced, and more than anything, I want to spend my entire life at your side. But I am so afraid. Afraid that the day will come when you walk away, and as I told you before, that is something I could never recover from.”
“And you think I would?” he responds, keeping his heated tone down. “If you ever leave, Brenna, you are taking my heart with you. I fucking love you, and one day, I will marry you because you have changed my life in such a way in this short time that I know we are meant to be. I want to spend my life with you and Jane and all the kids we have together. I want this house to be filled with our little babies running around. But if you don’t want that …”
I don’t let him finish his sentence because I know I want every single thing he just mentioned. My lips connect to his, and he instantly takes over the kiss, turning it desperate and demanding. My guard drops and every wall I have built up to keep myself protected crumbles while I am in his arms. The way he always includes Jane in our future hits me straight in the heart, and the way he talks about the babies we will have together gives me so much hope.
“Yes,” I say, breathlessly. “I want it. I want it all. I just need you to be patient with me. There are things I need to work on with myself, and I just need you to promise to stick around. Even during my crazy moments because that’s when I’ll need you the most.”
His arms squeeze me tighter. “I’m never letting you go as long as you never ask me to.”
“Never.”
“So you’re going to marry me one day?” he asks with a boyish grin.
“I think I might.”
He kisses my lips and nips at the bottom one. “I think I need to turn that might into a definite.” His fingers thread through my hair, holding my face in place while he consumes my mouth again.
When he pulls away, my eyes remain closed and my mouth ajar. “Definitely a definite,” I whisper.
“That’s more like it. Now, come on and let’s each lunch. I bet Jane has worked up an appetite with all her remodeling.” He returns to his task of making the sandwiches as I use the island to keep me standing while I get myself together enough to get Jane.
With one kiss, Logan has erased any and all doubt I may have been feeling. It seems to be a spe
cial talent of his, and it’s one that a girl could definitely get used to.
Chapter 19
After the past couple of eventful weeks, we finally fulfilled our plans to escape reality for a little while. Richard was more than willing to give me some extra time off from work and all but pushed me out the door to pack.
According to Trevor, they still haven’t caught the guy who came after me at Déjà vu, and knowing he was still out there somewhere has kept Logan on edge. While I have been trying my best to forget all about him, I still freak myself out at times thinking someone is watching me, or I jump when I hear a noise. Sometimes I am not as brave as I like to pretend.
This time away has been nothing short of amazing. We only have a couple of days left before we head back home, and I am already dreading it. Logan’s cabin is rustic and beautiful, sitting high in the mountains with an amazing view. The seclusion is so peaceful and has allowed us the opportunity to spend time together with just the three of us.
Yesterday, Logan took us to the carnival, and Jane had the time of her life. They played a ring toss game that resulted in winning a goldfish. We stopped at a small pet store on the way back to the cabin to find it a proper living space. Jane named it Fred, and I can only hope it lives a long goldfish life because I hate to see the heartbreak that would come from his death.
Trevor and Gabby came up for the weekend and are staying in their cabin a little farther up the mountain. Jane and TJ spend the day catching up on all the playtime they missed this week apart, and she ended up leaving with them for a sleepover. In the morning, we are driving up to their place for breakfast before venturing out for fishing and a scenic train ride.
“What are you doing out here, babe?” Logan asks, joining me out on the second-story wraparound porch.
Perfectly Unexpected Page 19
