CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MARTIN ENLARGES HIS CIRCLE OF AQUAINTANCE; INCREASES HIS STOCKOF WISDOM; AND HAS AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY OF COMPARING HIS OWNEXPERIENCES WITH THOSE OF LUMMY NED OF THE LIGHT SALISBURY, AS RELATEDBY HIS FRIEND MR WILLIAM SIMMONS
It was characteristic of Martin, that all this while he had eitherforgotten Mark Tapley as completely as if there had been no such personin existence, or, if for a moment the figure of that gentleman rosebefore his mental vision, had dismissed it as something by no means ofa pressing nature, which might be attended to by-and-bye, and could waithis perfect leisure. But, being now in the streets again, it occurred tohim as just coming within the bare limits of possibility that Mr Tapleymight, in course of time, grow tired of waiting on the threshold of theRowdy Journal Office, so he intimated to his new friend, that if theycould conveniently walk in that direction, he would be glad to get thispiece of business off his mind.
'And speaking of business,' said Martin, 'may I ask, in order that I maynot be behind-hand with questions either, whether your occupation holdsyou to this city, or like myself, you are a visitor here?'
'A visitor,' replied his friend. 'I was "raised" in the State ofMassachusetts, and reside there still. My home is in a quiet countrytown. I am not often in these busy places; and my inclination to visitthem does not increase with our better acquaintance, I assure you.'
'You have been abroad?' asked Martin.
'Oh yes.'
'And, like most people who travel, have become more than ever attachedto your home and native country,' said Martin, eyeing him curiously.
'To my home--yes,' rejoined his friend. 'To my native country AS myhome--yes, also.'
'You imply some reservation,' said Martin.
'Well,' returned his new friend, 'if you ask me whether I came back herewith a greater relish for my country's faults; with a greater fondnessfor those who claim (at the rate of so many dollars a day) to be herfriends; with a cooler indifference to the growth of principles amongus in respect of public matters and of private dealings between man andman, the advocacy of which, beyond the foul atmosphere of a criminaltrial, would disgrace your own old Bailey lawyers; why, then I answerplainly, No.'
'Oh!' said Martin; in so exactly the same key as his friend's No, thatit sounded like an echo.
'If you ask me,' his companion pursued, 'whether I came back here bettersatisfied with a state of things which broadly divides society into twoclasses--whereof one, the great mass, asserts a spurious independence,most miserably dependent for its mean existence on the disregard ofhumanizing conventionalities of manner and social custom, so that thecoarser a man is, the more distinctly it shall appeal to his taste;while the other, disgusted with the low standard thus set up and madeadaptable to everything, takes refuge among the graces and refinementsit can bring to bear on private life, and leaves the public weal tosuch fortune as may betide it in the press and uproar of a generalscramble--then again I answer, No.'
And again Martin said 'Oh!' in the same odd way as before, being anxiousand disconcerted; not so much, to say the truth, on public grounds, aswith reference to the fading prospects of domestic architecture.
'In a word,' resumed the other, 'I do not find and cannot believe andtherefore will not allow, that we are a model of wisdom, and an exampleto the world, and the perfection of human reason, and a great deal moreto the same purpose, which you may hear any hour in the day; simplybecause we began our political life with two inestimable advantages.'
'What were they?' asked Martin.
'One, that our history commenced at so late a period as to escape theages of bloodshed and cruelty through which other nations have passed;and so had all the light of their probation, and none of its darkness.The other, that we have a vast territory, and not--as yet--too manypeople on it. These facts considered, we have done little enough, Ithink.'
'Education?' suggested Martin, faintly.
'Pretty well on that head,' said the other, shrugging his shoulders,'still no mighty matter to boast of; for old countries, and despoticcountries too, have done as much, if not more, and made less noise aboutit. We shine out brightly in comparison with England, certainly; buthers is a very extreme case. You complimented me on my frankness, youknow,' he added, laughing.
'Oh! I am not at all astonished at your speaking thus openly when mycountry is in question,' returned Martin. 'It is your plain-speaking inreference to your own that surprises me.'
'You will not find it a scarce quality here, I assure you, saving amongthe Colonel Divers, and Jefferson Bricks, and Major Pawkinses; thoughthe best of us are something like the man in Goldsmith's comedy, whowouldn't suffer anybody but himself to abuse his master. Come!' headded. 'Let us talk of something else. You have come here on some designof improving your fortune, I dare say; and I should grieve to put youout of heart. I am some years older than you, besides; and may, on a fewtrivial points, advise you, perhaps.'
There was not the least curiosity or impertinence in the manner of thisoffer, which was open-hearted, unaffected, and good-natured. As it wasnext to impossible that he should not have his confidence awakened bya deportment so prepossessing and kind, Martin plainly stated what hadbrought him into those parts, and even made the very difficult avowalthat he was poor. He did not say how poor, it must be admitted, ratherthrowing off the declaration with an air which might have implied thathe had money enough for six months, instead of as many weeks; but poorhe said he was, and grateful he said he would be, for any counsel thathis friend would give him.
It would not have been very difficult for any one to see; but it wasparticularly easy for Martin, whose perceptions were sharpened by hiscircumstances, to discern; that the stranger's face grew infinitelylonger as the domestic-architecture project was developed. Nor, althoughhe made a great effort to be as encouraging as possible, could heprevent his head from shaking once involuntarily, as if it said in thevulgar tongue, upon its own account, 'No go!' But he spoke in a cheerfultone, and said, that although there was no such opening as Martinwished, in that city, he would make it matter of immediate considerationand inquiry where one was most likely to exist; and then he made Martinacquainted with his name, which was Bevan; and with his profession,which was physic, though he seldom or never practiced; and with othercircumstances connected with himself and family, which fully occupiedthe time, until they reached the Rowdy Journal Office.
Mr Tapley appeared to be taking his ease on the landing of the firstfloor; for sounds as of some gentleman established in that regionwhistling 'Rule Britannia' with all his might and main, greeted theirears before they reached the house. On ascending to the spot fromwhence this music proceeded, they found him recumbent in the midst of afortification of luggage, apparently performing his national anthemfor the gratification of a grey-haired black man, who sat on one of theoutworks (a portmanteau), staring intently at Mark, while Mark, withhis head reclining on his hand, returned the compliment in a thoughtfulmanner, and whistled all the time. He seemed to have recently dined, forhis knife, a casebottle, and certain broken meats in a handkerchief, laynear at hand. He had employed a portion of his leisure in the decorationof the Rowdy Journal door, whereon his own initials now appeared inletters nearly half a foot long, together with the day of the month insmaller type; the whole surrounded by an ornamental border, and lookingvery fresh and bold.
'I was a'most afraid you was lost, sir!' cried Mark, rising, andstopping the tune at that point where Britons generally are supposed todeclare (when it is whistled) that they never, never, never--
'Nothing gone wrong, I hope, sir?'
'No, Mark. Where's your friend?'
'The mad woman, sir?' said Mr Tapley. 'Oh! she's all right, sir.'
'Did she find her husband?'
'Yes, sir. Leastways she's found his remains,' said Mark, correctinghimself.
'The man's not dead, I hope?'
'Not altogether dead, sir,' returned Mark; 'but he's had more fevers andagues than is quite reconcilable with being
alive. When she didn't seehim a-waiting for her, I thought she'd have died herself, I did!'
'Was he not here, then?'
'HE wasn't here. There was a feeble old shadow come a-creeping down atlast, as much like his substance when she know'd him, as your shadowwhen it's drawn out to its very finest and longest by the sun, is likeyou. But it was his remains, there's no doubt about that. She took onwith joy, poor thing, as much as if it had been all of him!'
'Had he bought land?' asked Mr Bevan.
'Ah! He'd bought land,' said Mark, shaking his head, 'and paid for ittoo. Every sort of nateral advantage was connected with it, the agentssaid; and there certainly was ONE, quite unlimited. No end to thewater!'
'It's a thing he couldn't have done without, I suppose,' observedMartin, peevishly.
'Certainly not, sir. There it was, any way; always turned on, and nowater-rate. Independent of three or four slimy old rivers close by,it varied on the farm from four to six foot deep in the dry season.He couldn't say how deep it was in the rainy time, for he never hadanything long enough to sound it with.'
'Is this true?' asked Martin of his companion.
'Extremely probable,' he answered. 'Some Mississippi or Missouri lot, Idare say.'
'However,' pursued Mark, 'he came from I-don't-know-where-and-all, downto New York here, to meet his wife and children; and they started offagain in a steamboat this blessed afternoon, as happy to be along witheach other as if they were going to Heaven. I should think they was,pretty straight, if I may judge from the poor man's looks.'
'And may I ask,' said Martin, glancing, but not with any displeasure,from Mark to the negro, 'who this gentleman is? Another friend ofyours?'
'Why sir,' returned Mark, taking him aside, and speaking confidentiallyin his ear, 'he's a man of colour, sir!'
'Do you take me for a blind man,' asked Martin, somewhat impatiently,'that you think it necessary to tell me that, when his face is theblackest that ever was seen?'
'No, no; when I say a man of colour,' returned Mark, 'I mean thathe's been one of them as there's picters of in the shops. A man and abrother, you know, sir,' said Mr Tapley, favouring his master with asignificant indication of the figure so often represented in tracts andcheap prints.
'A slave!' cried Martin, in a whisper.
'Ah!' said Mark in the same tone. 'Nothing else. A slave. Why, when thatthere man was young--don't look at him while I'm a-telling it--he wasshot in the leg; gashed in the arm; scored in his live limbs, likecrimped fish; beaten out of shape; had his neck galled with an ironcollar, and wore iron rings upon his wrists and ankles. The marks are onhim to this day. When I was having my dinner just now, he stripped offhis coat, and took away my appetite.'
'Is THIS true?' asked Martin of his friend, who stood beside them.
'I have no reason to doubt it,' he answered, shaking his head 'It veryoften is.'
'Bless you,' said Mark, 'I know it is, from hearing his whole story.That master died; so did his second master from having his head cutopen with a hatchet by another slave, who, when he'd done it, went anddrowned himself; then he got a better one; in years and years he savedup a little money, and bought his freedom, which he got pretty cheap atlast, on account of his strength being nearly gone, and he being ill.Then he come here. And now he's a-saving up to treat himself, aforehe dies, to one small purchase--it's nothing to speak of. Only his owndaughter; that's all!' cried Mr Tapley, becoming excited. 'Liberty forever! Hurrah! Hail, Columbia!'
'Hush!' cried Martin, clapping his hand upon his mouth; 'and don't be anidiot. What is he doing here?'
'Waiting to take our luggage off upon a truck,' said Mark. 'He'd havecome for it by-and-bye, but I engaged him for a very reasonable charge(out of my own pocket) to sit along with me and make me jolly; and Iam jolly; and if I was rich enough to contract with him to wait upon meonce a day, to be looked at, I'd never be anything else.'
The fact may cause a solemn impeachment of Mark's veracity, but it mustbe admitted nevertheless, that there was that in his face and manner atthe moment, which militated strongly against this emphatic declarationof his state of mind.
'Lord love you, sir,' he added, 'they're so fond of Liberty in this partof the globe, that they buy her and sell her and carry her to marketwith 'em. They've such a passion for Liberty, that they can't helptaking liberties with her. That's what it's owing to.'
'Very well,' said Martin, wishing to change the theme. 'Having come tothat conclusion, Mark, perhaps you'll attend to me. The place to whichthe luggage is to go is printed on this card. Mrs Pawkins's BoardingHouse.'
'Mrs Pawkins's boarding-house,' repeated Mark. 'Now, Cicero.'
'Is that his name?' asked Martin
'That's his name, sir,' rejoined Mark. And the negro grinning assentfrom under a leathern portmanteau, than which his own face was manyshades deeper, hobbled downstairs with his portion of their worldlygoods; Mark Tapley having already gone before with his share.
Martin and his friend followed them to the door below, and were aboutto pursue their walk, when the latter stopped, and asked, with somehesitation, whether that young man was to be trusted?
'Mark! oh certainly! with anything.'
'You don't understand me--I think he had better go with us. He is anhonest fellow, and speaks his mind so very plainly.'
'Why, the fact is,' said Martin, smiling, 'that being unaccustomed to afree republic, he is used to do so.'
'I think he had better go with us,' returned the other. 'He may get intosome trouble otherwise. This is not a slave State; but I am ashamedto say that a spirit of Tolerance is not so common anywhere inthese latitudes as the form. We are not remarkable for behaving verytemperately to each other when we differ; but to strangers! no, I reallythink he had better go with us.'
Martin called to him immediately to be of their party; so Cicero and thetruck went one way, and they three went another.
They walked about the city for two or three hours; seeing it from thebest points of view, and pausing in the principal streets, and beforesuch public buildings as Mr Bevan pointed out. Night then comingon apace, Martin proposed that they should adjourn to Mrs Pawkins'sestablishment for coffee; but in this he was overruled by his newacquaintance, who seemed to have set his heart on carrying him, thoughit were only for an hour, to the house of a friend of his who lived hardby. Feeling (however disinclined he was, being weary) that it would bein bad taste, and not very gracious, to object that he was unintroduced,when this open-hearted gentleman was so ready to be his sponsor,Martin--for once in his life, at all events--sacrificed his own will andpleasure to the wishes of another, and consented with a fair grace. Sotravelling had done him that much good, already.
Mr Bevan knocked at the door of a very neat house of moderate size, fromthe parlour windows of which, lights were shining brightly into the nowdark street. It was quickly opened by a man with such a thoroughly Irishface, that it seemed as if he ought, as a matter of right and principle,to be in rags, and could have no sort of business to be lookingcheerfully at anybody out of a whole suit of clothes.
Commending Mark to the care of this phenomenon--for such he may be saidto have been in Martin's eyes--Mr Bevan led the way into the roomwhich had shed its cheerfulness upon the street, to whose occupants heintroduced Mr Chuzzlewit as a gentleman from England, whose acquaintancehe had recently had the pleasure to make. They gave him welcome in allcourtesy and politeness; and in less than five minutes' time he foundhimself sitting very much at his ease by the fireside, and becomingvastly well acquainted with the whole family.
There were two young ladies--one eighteen; the other twenty--both veryslender, but very pretty; their mother, who looked, as Martin thoughtmuch older and more faded than she ought to have looked; and theirgrandmother, a little sharp-eyed, quick old woman, who seemed to havegot past that stage, and to have come all right again. Besides these,there were the young ladies' father, and the young ladies' brother; thefirst engaged in mercantile affairs; the second, a student at college;
both, in a certain cordiality of manner, like his own friend, and notunlike him in face. Which was no great wonder, for it soon appeared thathe was their near relation. Martin could not help tracing the familypedigree from the two young ladies, because they were foremost in histhoughts; not only from being, as aforesaid, very pretty, but by reasonof their wearing miraculously small shoes, and the thinnest possiblesilk stockings; the which their rocking-chairs developed to adistracting extent.
There is no doubt that it was a monstrous comfortable circumstance to besitting in a snug, well-furnished room, warmed by a cheerful fire, andfull of various pleasant decorations, including four small shoes, andthe like amount of silk stockings, and--yes, why not?--the feet andlegs therein enshrined. And there is no doubt that Martin was monstrouswell-disposed to regard his position in that light, after his recentexperience of the Screw, and of Mrs Pawkins's boarding-house. Theconsequence was that he made himself very agreeable indeed; and bythe time the tea and coffee arrived (with sweet preserves, and cunningtea-cakes in its train), was in a highly genial state, and much esteemedby the whole family.
Another delightful circumstance turned up before the first cup of teawas drunk. The whole family had been in England. There was a pleasantthing! But Martin was not quite so glad of this, when he found thatthey knew all the great dukes, lords, viscounts, marquesses, duchesses,knights, and baronets, quite affectionately, and were beyond everythinginterested in the least particular concerning them. However, when theyasked, after the wearer of this or that coronet, and said, 'Was he quitewell?' Martin answered, 'Yes, oh yes. Never better;' and when they said,'his lordship's mother, the duchess, was she much changed?' Martin said,'Oh dear no, they would know her anywhere, if they saw her to-morrow;'and so got on pretty well. In like manner when the young ladiesquestioned him touching the Gold Fish in that Grecian fountain in suchand such a nobleman's conservatory, and whether there were as many asthere used to be, he gravely reported, after mature consideration, thatthere must be at least twice as many; and as to the exotics, 'Oh! well!it was of no use talking about THEM; they must be seen to be believed;'which improved state of circumstances reminded the family of thesplendour of that brilliant festival (comprehending the whole BritishPeerage and Court Calendar) to which they were specially invited, andwhich indeed had been partly given in their honour; and recollectionsof what Mr Norris the father had said to the marquess, and of what MrsNorris the mother had said to the marchioness, and of what the marquessand marchioness had both said, when they said that upon their words andhonours they wished Mr Norris the father and Mrs Norris the mother, andthe Misses Norris the daughters, and Mr Norris Junior, the son, wouldonly take up their permanent residence in England, and give them thepleasure of their everlasting friendship, occupied a very considerabletime.
Martin thought it rather stange, and in some sort inconsistent, thatduring the whole of these narrations, and in the very meridian of theirenjoyment thereof, both Mr Norris the father, and Mr Norris Junior,the son (who corresponded, every post, with four members of the EnglishPeerage), enlarged upon the inestimable advantage of having no sucharbitrary distinctions in that enlightened land, where there were nonoblemen but nature's noblemen, and where all society was based on onebroad level of brotherly love and natural equality. Indeed, Mr Norristhe father gradually expanding into an oration on this swelling theme,was becoming tedious, when Mr Bevan diverted his thoughts by happeningto make some causal inquiry relative to the occupier of the next house;in reply to which, this same Mr Norris the father observed, that 'thatperson entertained religious opinions of which he couldn't approve; andtherefore he hadn't the honour of knowing the gentleman.' Mrs Norris themother added another reason of her own, the same in effect, but varyingin words; to wit, that she believed the people were well enough in theirway, but they were not genteel.
Another little trait came out, which impressed itself on Martinforcibly. Mr Bevan told them about Mark and the negro, and then itappeared that all the Norrises were abolitionists. It was a great reliefto hear this, and Martin was so much encouraged on finding himself insuch company, that he expressed his sympathy with the oppressed andwretched blacks. Now, one of the young ladies--the prettiest and mostdelicate--was mightily amused at the earnestness with which he spoke;and on his craving leave to ask her why, was quite unable for a time tospeak for laughing. As soon however as she could, she told him thatthe negroes were such a funny people, so excessively ludicrous in theirmanners and appearance, that it was wholly impossible for those who knewthem well, to associate any serious ideas with such a very absurd partof the creation. Mr Norris the father, and Mrs Norris the mother, andMiss Norris the sister, and Mr Norris Junior the brother, and even MrsNorris Senior the grandmother, were all of this opinion, and laidit down as an absolute matter of fact--as if there were nothing insuffering and slavery, grim enough to cast a solemn air on any humananimal; though it were as ridiculous, physically, as the mostgrotesque of apes, or morally, as the mildest Nimrod among tuft-huntingrepublicans!
'In short,' said Mr Norris the father, settling the questioncomfortably, 'there is a natural antipathy between the races.'
'Extending,' said Martin's friend, in a low voice, 'to the cruellest oftortures, and the bargain and sale of unborn generations.'
Mr Norris the son said nothing, but he made a wry face, and dusted hisfingers as Hamlet might after getting rid of Yorick's skull; just asthough he had that moment touched a negro, and some of the black hadcome off upon his hands.
In order that their talk might fall again into its former pleasantchannel, Martin dropped the subject, with a shrewd suspicion that itwould be a dangerous theme to revive under the best of circumstances;and again addressed himself to the young ladies, who were verygorgeously attired in very beautiful colours, and had every article ofdress on the same extensive scale as the little shoes and the thin silkstockings. This suggested to him that they were great proficients in theFrench fashions, which soon turned out to be the case, for though theirinformation appeared to be none of the newest, it was very extensive;and the eldest sister in particular, who was distinguished by a talentfor metaphysics, the laws of hydraulic pressure, and the rights of humankind, had a novel way of combining these acquirements and bringing themto bear on any subject from Millinery to the Millennium, both inclusive,which was at once improving and remarkable; so much so, in short, thatit was usually observed to reduce foreigners to a state of temporaryinsanity in five minutes.
Martin felt his reason going; and as a means of saving himself, besoughtthe other sister (seeing a piano in the room) to sing. With this requestshe willingly complied; and a bravura concert, solely sustained by theMisses Noriss, presently began. They sang in all languages--except theirown. German, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Swiss; but nothingnative; nothing so low as native. For, in this respect, languages arelike many other travellers--ordinary and commonplace enough at home, but'specially genteel abroad.
There is little doubt that in course of time the Misses Norris wouldhave come to Hebrew, if they had not been interrupted by an announcementfrom the Irishman, who, flinging open the door, cried in a loud voice--
'Jiniral Fladdock!'
'My!' cried the sisters, desisting suddenly. 'The general come back!'
As they made the exclamation, the general, attired in full uniform for aball, came darting in with such precipitancy that, hitching his bootin the carpet, and getting his sword between his legs, he came downheadlong, and presented a curious little bald place on the crown of hishead to the eyes of the astonished company. Nor was this the worst ofit; for being rather corpulent and very tight, the general being down,could not get up again, but lay there writhing and doing such things withhis boots, as there is no other instance of in military history.
Of course there was an immediate rush to his assistance; and the generalwas promptly raised. But his uniform was so fearfully and wonderfullymade, that he came up stiff and without a bend in him like a dead Clown,and had no command whatever of himsel
f until he was put quite flat uponthe soles of his feet, when he became animated as by a miracle, andmoving edgewise that he might go in a narrower compass and be in lessdanger of fraying the gold lace on his epaulettes by brushing themagainst anything, advanced with a smiling visage to salute the lady ofthe house.
To be sure, it would have been impossible for the family to testifypurer delight and joy than at this unlooked-for appearance of GeneralFladdock! The general was as warmly received as if New York had been ina state of siege and no other general was to be got for love or money.He shook hands with the Norrises three times all round, and thenreviewed them from a little distance as a brave commander might, withhis ample cloak drawn forward over the right shoulder and thrown backupon the left side to reveal his manly breast.
'And do I then,' cried the general, 'once again behold the choicestspirits of my country!'
'Yes,' said Mr Norris the father. 'Here we are, general.'
Then all the Norrises pressed round the general, inquiring how and wherehe had been since the date of his letter, and how he had enjoyed himselfin foreign parts, and particularly and above all, to what extent he hadbecome acquainted with the great dukes, lords, viscounts, marquesses,duchesses, knights, and baronets, in whom the people of those benightedcountries had delight.
'Well, then, don't ask me,' said the general, holding up his hand. 'Iwas among 'em all the time, and have got public journals in my trunkwith my name printed'--he lowered his voice and was very impressivehere--'among the fashionable news. But, oh, the conventionalities ofthat a-mazing Europe!'
'Ah!' cried Mr Norris the father, giving his head a melancholy shake,and looking towards Martin as though he would say, 'I can't deny it,sir. I would if I could.'
'The limited diffusion of a moral sense in that country!' exclaimed thegeneral. 'The absence of a moral dignity in man!'
'Ah!' sighed all the Norrises, quite overwhelmed with despondency.
'I couldn't have realised it,' pursued the general, 'without beinglocated on the spot. Norris, your imagination is the imagination of astrong man, but YOU couldn't have realised it, without being located onthe spot!'
'Never,' said Mr Norris.
'The ex-clusiveness, the pride, the form, the ceremony,' exclaimed thegeneral, emphasizing the article more vigorously at every repetition.'The artificial barriers set up between man and man; the division of thehuman race into court cards and plain cards, of every denomination--intoclubs, diamonds, spades--anything but heart!'
'Ah!' cried the whole family. 'Too true, general!'
'But stay!' cried Mr Norris the father, taking him by the arm. 'Surelyyou crossed in the Screw, general?'
'Well! so I did,' was the reply.
'Possible!' cried the young ladies. 'Only think!'
The general seemed at a loss to understand why his having come homein the Screw should occasion such a sensation, nor did he seem at allclearer on the subject when Mr Norris, introducing him to Martin, said:
'A fellow-passenger of yours, I think?'
'Of mine?' exclaimed the general; 'No!'
He had never seen Martin, but Martin had seen him, and recognized him,now that they stood face to face, as the gentleman who had stuck hishands in his pockets towards the end of the voyage, and walked the deckwith his nostrils dilated.
Everybody looked at Martin. There was no help for it. The truth mustout.
'I came over in the same ship as the general,' said Martin, 'but not inthe same cabin. It being necessary for me to observe strict economy, Itook my passage in the steerage.'
If the general had been carried up bodily to a loaded cannon, andrequired to let it off that moment, he could not have been in a stateof greater consternation than when he heard these words. He,Fladdock--Fladdock in full militia uniform, Fladdock the General,Fladdock, the caressed of foreign noblemen--expected to know a fellowwho had come over in the steerage of line-of-packet ship, at the costof four pound ten! And meeting that fellow in the very sanctuary of NewYork fashion, and nestling in the bosom of the New York aristocracy! Healmost laid his hand upon his sword.
A death-like stillness fell upon the Norisses. If this story should getwind, their country relation had, by his imprudence, for ever disgracedthem. They were the bright particular stars of an exalted New Yorksphere. There were other fashionable spheres above them, and otherfashionable spheres below, and none of the stars in any one of thesespheres had anything to say to the stars in any other of these spheres.But, through all the spheres it would go forth that the Norrises,deceived by gentlemanly manners and appearances, had, falling from theirhigh estate, 'received' a dollarless and unknown man. O guardian eagleof the pure Republic, had they lived for this!
'You will allow me,' said Martin, after a terrible silence, 'to takemy leave. I feel that I am the cause of at least as much embarrassmenthere, as I have brought upon myself. But I am bound, before I go, toexonerate this gentleman, who, in introducing me to such society, wasquite ignorant of my unworthiness, I assure you.'
With that he made his bow to the Norrises, and walked out like a man ofsnow; very cool externally, but pretty hot within.
'Come, come,' said Mr Norris the father, looking with a pale face onthe assembled circle as Martin closed the door, 'the young man has thisnight beheld a refinement of social manner, and an easy magnificence ofsocial decoration, to which he is a stranger in his own country. Let ushope it may awake a moral sense within him.'
If that peculiarly transatlantic article, a moral sense--for, if nativestatesmen, orators, and pamphleteers, are to be believed, America quitemonopolises the commodity--if that peculiarly transatlantic article besupposed to include a benevolent love of all mankind, certainly Martin'swould have borne, just then, a deal of waking. As he strode alongthe street, with Mark at his heels, his immoral sense was in activeoperation; prompting him to the utterance of some rather sanguinaryremarks, which it was well for his own credit that nobody overheard.He had so far cooled down, however, that he had begun to laugh at therecollection of these incidents, when he heard another step behind him,and turning round encountered his friend Bevan, quite out of breath.
He drew his arm through Martin's, and entreating him to walk slowly, wassilent for some minutes. At length he said:
'I hope you exonerate me in another sense?'
'How do you mean?' asked Martin.
'I hope you acquit me of intending or foreseeing the termination of ourvisit. But I scarcely need ask you that.'
'Scarcely indeed,' said Martin. 'I am the more beholden to you for yourkindness, when I find what kind of stuff the good citizens here are madeof.'
'I reckon,' his friend returned, 'that they are made of pretty much thesame stuff as other folks, if they would but own it, and not set up onfalse pretences.'
'In good faith, that's true,' said Martin.
'I dare say,' resumed his friend, 'you might have such a scene as thatin an English comedy, and not detect any gross improbability or anomalyin the matter of it?'
'Yes, indeed!'
'Doubtless it is more ridiculous here than anywhere else,' said hiscompanion; 'but our professions are to blame for that. So far as Imyself am concerned, I may add that I was perfectly aware from thefirst that you came over in the steerage, for I had seen the list ofpassengers, and knew it did not comprise your name.'
'I feel more obliged to you than before,' said Martin.
'Norris is a very good fellow in his way,' observed Mr Bevan.
'Is he?' said Martin drily.
'Oh yes! there are a hundred good points about him. If you or anybodyelse addressed him as another order of being, and sued to him IN FORMAPAUPERIS, he would be all kindness and consideration.'
'I needn't have travelled three thousand miles from home to find such acharacter as THAT,' said Martin. Neither he nor his friend said anythingmore on the way back; each appearing to find sufficient occupation inhis own thoughts.
The tea, or the supper, or whatever else they called the evening meal,was over when t
hey reached the Major's; but the cloth, ornamented witha few additional smears and stains, was still upon the table. At one endof the board Mrs Jefferson Brick and two other ladies were drinkingtea; out of the ordinary course, evidently, for they were bonnetedand shawled, and seemed to have just come home. By the light of threeflaring candles of different lengths, in as many candlesticks ofdifferent patterns, the room showed to almost as little advantage as inbroad day.
These ladies were all three talking together in a very loud tone whenMartin and his friend entered; but seeing those gentlemen, they stoppeddirectly, and became excessively genteel, not to say frosty. As theywent on to exchange some few remarks in whispers, the very water in theteapot might have fallen twenty degrees in temperature beneath theirchilling coldness.
'Have you been to meeting, Mrs Brick?' asked Martin's friend, withsomething of a roguish twinkle in his eye.
'To lecture, sir.'
'I beg your pardon. I forgot. You don't go to meeting, I think?'
Here the lady on the right of Mrs Brick gave a pious cough as much as tosay 'I do!'--as, indeed, she did nearly every night in the week.
'A good discourse, ma'am?' asked Mr Bevan, addressing this lady.
The lady raised her eyes in a pious manner, and answered 'Yes.' Shehad been much comforted by some good, strong, peppery doctrine, whichsatisfactorily disposed of all her friends and acquaintances, and quitesettled their business. Her bonnet, too, had far outshone every bonnetin the congregation; so she was tranquil on all accounts.
'What course of lectures are you attending now, ma'am?' said Martin'sfriend, turning again to Mrs Brick.
'The Philosophy of the Soul, on Wednesdays.'
'On Mondays?'
'The Philosophy of Crime.'
'On Fridays?'
'The Philosophy of Vegetables.'
'You have forgotten Thursdays; the Philosophy of Government, my dear,'observed the third lady.
'No,' said Mrs Brick. 'That's Tuesdays.'
'So it is!' cried the lady. 'The Philosophy of Matter on Thursdays, ofcourse.'
'You see, Mr Chuzzlewit, our ladies are fully employed,' said Bevan.
'Indeed you have reason to say so,' answered Martin. 'Between these verygrave pursuits abroad, and family duties at home, their time must bepretty well engrossed.'
Martin stopped here, for he saw that the ladies regarded him with novery great favour, though what he had done to deserve the disdainfulexpression which appeared in their faces he was at a loss to divine. Buton their going upstairs to their bedrooms--which they very soon did--MrBevan informed him that domestic drudgery was far beneath the exaltedrange of these Philosophers, and that the chances were a hundred to onethat not one of the three could perform the easiest woman's work forherself, or make the simplest article of dress for any of her children.
'Though whether they might not be better employed with such bluntinstruments as knitting-needles than with these edge-tools,' he said,'is another question; but I can answer for one thing--they don't oftencut themselves. Devotions and lectures are our balls and concerts. Theygo to these places of resort, as an escape from monotony; look at eachother's clothes; and come home again.'
'When you say "home," do you mean a house like this?'
'Very often. But I see you are tired to death, and will wish you goodnight. We will discuss your projects in the morning. You cannot butfeel already that it is useless staying here, with any hope of advancingthem. You will have to go further.'
'And to fare worse?' said Martin, pursuing the old adage.
'Well, I hope not. But sufficient for the day, you know--good night'
They shook hands heartily and separated. As soon as Martin was leftalone, the excitement of novelty and change which had sustained himthrough all the fatigues of the day, departed; and he felt so thoroughlydejected and worn out, that he even lacked the energy to crawl upstairsto bed.
In twelve or fifteen hours, how great a change had fallen on his hopesand sanguine plans! New and strange as he was to the ground on which hestood, and to the air he breathed, he could not--recalling all that hehad crowded into that one day--but entertain a strong misgiving that hisenterprise was doomed. Rash and ill-considered as it had often looked onshipboard, but had never seemed on shore, it wore a dismal aspect, now,that frightened him. Whatever thoughts he called up to his aid, theycame upon him in depressing and discouraging shapes, and gave him norelief. Even the diamonds on his finger sparkled with the brightness oftears, and had no ray of hope in all their brilliant lustre.
He continued to sit in gloomy rumination by the stove, unmindful ofthe boarders who dropped in one by one from their stores andcounting-houses, or the neighbouring bar-rooms, and, after taking longpulls from a great white waterjug upon the sideboard, and lingering witha kind of hideous fascination near the brass spittoons, lounged heavilyto bed; until at length Mark Tapley came and shook him by the arm,supposing him asleep.
'Mark!' he cried, starting.
'All right, sir,' said that cheerful follower, snuffing with his fingersthe candle he bore. 'It ain't a very large bed, your'n, sir; and a manas wasn't thirsty might drink, afore breakfast, all the water you'vegot to wash in, and afterwards eat the towel. But you'll sleep withoutrocking to-night, sir.'
'I feel as if the house were on the sea' said Martin, staggering when herose; 'and am utterly wretched.'
'I'm as jolly as a sandboy, myself, sir,' said Mark. 'But, Lord, I havereason to be! I ought to have been born here; that's my opinion. Takecare how you go'--for they were now ascending the stairs. 'You recollectthe gentleman aboard the Screw as had the very small trunk, sir?'
'The valise? Yes.'
'Well, sir, there's been a delivery of clean clothes from the washto-night, and they're put outside the bedroom doors here. If you takenotice as we go up, what a very few shirts there are, and what a manyfronts, you'll penetrate the mystery of his packing.'
But Martin was too weary and despondent to take heed of anything, sohad no interest in this discovery. Mr Tapley, nothing dashed by hisindifference, conducted him to the top of the house, and into thebed-chamber prepared for his reception; which was a very little narrowroom, with half a window in it; a bedstead like a chest without a lid;two chairs; a piece of carpet, such as shoes are commonly tried uponat a ready-made establishment in England; a little looking-glass nailedagainst the wall; and a washing-table, with a jug and ewer, that mighthave been mistaken for a milk-pot and slop-basin.
'I suppose they polish themselves with a dry cloth in this country,'said Mark. 'They've certainly got a touch of the 'phoby, sir.'
'I wish you would pull off my boots for me,' said Martin, dropping intoone of the chairs 'I am quite knocked up--dead beat, Mark.'
'You won't say that to-morrow morning, sir,' returned Mr Tapley; 'noreven to-night, sir, when you've made a trial of this.' With which heproduced a very large tumbler, piled up to the brim with little blocksof clear transparent ice, through which one or two thin slices of lemon,and a golden liquid of delicious appearance, appealed from the stilldepths below, to the loving eye of the spectator.
'What do you call this?' said Martin.
But Mr Tapley made no answer; merely plunging a reed into themixture--which caused a pleasant commotion among the pieces of ice--andsignifying by an expressive gesture that it was to be pumped up throughthat agency by the enraptured drinker.
Martin took the glass with an astonished look; applied his lips to thereed; and cast up his eyes once in ecstasy. He paused no more until thegoblet was drained to the last drop.
'There, sir!' said Mark, taking it from him with a triumphant face; 'ifever you should happen to be dead beat again, when I ain't in theway, all you've got to do is to ask the nearest man to go and fetch acobbler.'
'To go and fetch a cobbler?' repeated Martin.
'This wonderful invention, sir,' said Mark, tenderly patting the emptyglass, 'is called a cobbler. Sherry cobbler when you name it long;cobbler, when you name it short. Now you're equ
al to having your bootstook off, and are, in every particular worth mentioning, another man.'
Having delivered himself of this solemn preface, he brought thebootjack.
'Mind! I am not going to relapse, Mark,' said Martin; 'but, good Heaven,if we should be left in some wild part of this country without goods ormoney!'
'Well, sir!' replied the imperturbable Tapley; 'from what we've seenalready, I don't know whether, under those circumstances, we shouldn'tdo better in the wild parts than in the tame ones.'
'Oh, Tom Pinch, Tom Pinch!' said Martin, in a thoughtful tone; 'whatwould I give to be again beside you, and able to hear your voice, thoughit were even in the old bedroom at Pecksniff's!'
'Oh, Dragon, Dragon!' echoed Mark, cheerfully, 'if there warn't anywater between you and me, and nothing faint-hearted-like in going back,I don't know that I mightn't say the same. But here am I, Dragon, inNew York, America; and there are you in Wiltshire, Europe; and there's afortune to make, Dragon, and a beautiful young lady to make it for; andwhenever you go to see the Monument, Dragon, you mustn't give in on thedoorsteps, or you'll never get up to the top!'
'Wisely said, Mark,' cried Martin. 'We must look forward.'
'In all the story-books as ever I read, sir, the people as lookedbackward was turned into stones,' replied Mark; 'and my opinion alwayswas, that they brought it on themselves, and it served 'em right. I wishyou good night, sir, and pleasant dreams!'
'They must be of home, then,' said Martin, as he lay down in bed.
'So I say, too,' whispered Mark Tapley, when he was out of hearing andin his own room; 'for if there don't come a time afore we're well out ofthis, when there'll be a little more credit in keeping up one's jollity,I'm a United Statesman!'
Leaving them to blend and mingle in their sleep the shadows of objectsafar off, as they take fantastic shapes upon the wall in the dim lightof thought without control, be it the part of this slight chronicle--adream within a dream--as rapidly to change the scene, and cross theocean to the English shore.
Martin Chuzzlewit Page 19
