by Peggy Jaeger
“You want to tell her?” Mo asked Colleen.
“Tell me what?”
Colleen put her spoon down on the table while Maureen continued to fill guest bowls.
“I happened to see Olivia Joyner at the grocery store Sunday morning after Slade and I dropped Nanny off from church.”
“Thanks for that, by the way.”
She waved her hand in the air. “Olivia asked if you’d mentioned anything about her event. I pleaded the fifth and asked her how it went.”
“What did she say? Did she call me pathetic? Terrified? Not worth the effort to try and fix up?”
“Stop,” Maureen said, summoning a tone remarkably similar to our mother’s with a Nanny-worthy pursed lip attached to it.
“She said,” Colleen continued, “the day after the event she received five—five—calls, one from each of the men who’d attended. Every one of them wanted a private meet with you.”
“Oh, good Lord. I wasn’t even a participant. I thought they all realized that.”
“They did. According to Olivia, though, they told her you were—and I quote—the hottest female they’ve seen in years—unquote. So, who you calling not hot, sister dear? Independent observers disagree.”
I stared at her with my mouth open.
“Just sayin’,” she added with a shrug, a raised eyebrow, and a smirk.
Maureen sat down across from me and pulled one of my hands into hers. It has always amazed me how remarkably strong and warm they are.
“Look, Cath. We love you and want you to be happy—”
“I’m happy.”
“—but you’ve been living like a nun since Danny died. You don’t date, you never see anyone except us.”
“I see people all the time.”
“For work and as an officiant, yes.” Colleen rose and carried her empty bowl to the sink. “But that’s it.”
“That’s not true—”
“When was the last time you went out to dinner with a man?”
I wracked my brain to remember. “A few weeks ago. I had dinner with Lucas.”
“A guy who’s practically your brother doesn’t count,” Colleen said.
“You asked when the last time I was out to dinner with a man was and—”
“Don’t.” She stabbed a perfectly manicured index finger at me. “He doesn’t count, and you know it. Stop arguing like a lawyer. I’m betting the last time you did was with Danny when he was home on leave. Am I right?”
She had me there.
“Look, sweetie…” Maureen squeezed the hand she still held. “We know you loved Danny from the first moment you laid eyes on him. We get that. But you can’t live the rest of your life mooning over the man.”
“I’m not.”
“You have been up until now. Don’t deny it. The love of your life was taken away from you, and you’ve shut yourself off from ever finding love again. We know Danny was your everything, your soul mate.”
Silence is more telling than words in my family. Maureen cocked her head like Frayne was wont to do, and her gaze ping-ponged between my eyes, as if searching for the truth. She’s not called the perceptive sister for nothing.
“He was, wasn’t he?”
“Sis?” Colleen sat back down and took my free hand in hers. Together, we formed a little unbreakable triangle sitting there at Maureen’s table.
For the first time, I wanted to let go of the secret I’d been carrying around inside me for three years—spit it out and be done with it. I could admit the reason why I hadn’t up to now was I was fearful of what they’d think of me, married to a man who’d fallen out of love with me, who didn’t want me or a family or anything to do with staying married to me.
Not an ego-boosting tale, to be sure. If I could be vulnerable with anyone, though, it was these two.
After taking a deep breath, I told them. Everything. Everything Danny’d said to me the day he’d left, everything he’d told me about how he felt, what he’d done, and what he wanted.
The first indication I had I was crying was when Maureen handed me a tissue.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Colleen asked. “Why did you keep something as big as this”—she swiped her hand in the air—“all to yourself?”
“I was embarrassed. And more than a little ashamed at how blind I’d been all those years. I thought Danny loved me—”
“He did,” Maureen said.
“Not enough.” I shook my head, then dried my eyes. “Not enough to give up the life he’d made for himself in the army.”
“Does Lucas know?” Maureen asked. “He must, right? He was Danny’s best friend from the womb.”
“I don’t know.” I blew out a breath and tissue-swiped my eyes. “We’ve never talked about it. I’m…well, I’m afraid to ask him. I don’t want to find out he did know and condoned Danny’s behavior. I don’t know how I could face him and stay his friend if I knew he’d betrayed me. Or, if he didn’t know and I tell him, then I’ve shattered the good memory he has of his friend. I’m not willing to take that chance. I’m the one Danny hurt. No one else deserves to be.”
“Sucks, both ways.” Colleen’s ability to put into words what everyone else was thinking was a true gift.
We sat there, the three of us, lost in our own thoughts for a moment as Maureen’s servers came and went with lunch service.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, Mac Frayne is nothing like Danny. In looks, personality, or anything else,” Maureen said. “He strikes me as a really good guy, Cath, someone you could be happy with.”
“I told you, I am happy.”
“You know what I mean.” She let go of my hand.
I grabbed it back. With a gentle squeeze I said, “I do. I love that you want me to have a happily ever after filled with a family and a man I can adore. But I don’t think there’s anything long-term in Frayne and me. He’s here to do a job. Being involved is a side benefit. Once he’s done, he’ll leave and go back to his life. Probably write a few more books.”
“You’re so sure of that?” my youngest sister asked.
“Of course I am. Why would he stay once he’s done with his research?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you live here and he wants to be where you are?”
“What? No.” I stood and carried my bowl to the sink as Colleen had. “The man has a life in New York. He’s not gonna give it up to stay here with me. No man would do that.”
“Slade did,” Colleen said.
“Okay, well, yes. That’s true. But Slade is one in a billion.”
“I think Mac may be the same. You didn’t see the way he looked at you when we were all here the last time. The man has feelings for you, sis.”
“I told her the same thing, and she didn’t believe me either.” Maureen filled the sink with hot water. “You’re talking to a wall, Coll. Stubborn’s her Confirmation name. She won’t accept the truth.”
“We’re gonna have to let her figure it out by herself, then.”
I rolled my eyes and shrugged into my coat. Time to get back to work.
I kissed each of their cheeks. “I love the two of you beyond measure, but it can be exhausting being around you sometimes.”
“Back atcha, babe,” Colleen said, with a quick glance at her watch. “I’ve gotta get back, too. I have a new bride coming in with her mother in a half hour. The mother’s texted me twice today, because as she’s told me numerous times, her time is precious and she’s not wasting it waiting for people.” Her sigh was Nanny-worthy. “Something tells me I’m gonna need a non-alcoholic adult beverage tonight.”
Maureen and I both laughed.
The rest of the week proved uneventful.
Frayne texted me Friday morning to tell me he thought he’d be able to finish up his inquiry by the end of the day and he’d probably head back to Heaven in the morning, barring any major snow delays or snags with his research. I told him Maureen had kept his room neat and ready for him whenever he arrived in to
wn and not to hurry, but to drive safely since we’d had another storm and the roads could be icy.
He’d sent back a laughing emoji with a —Yes, ma’am. Will do.—
After speaking with my sisters, I’d spent a great deal of my free time ruminating on their assertion the man felt something for me.
I knew without a doubt what I was feeling for Mac Frayne was love.
Silly, sappy, giggly love. The toe-tapping, smile-inducing, heart-racing kind of love that, if you were lucky enough, you’d experience once in your life.
With Frayne, the giddy sensations inside me whenever I thought of him, heard his voice, felt his touch, were experiences for me as new and shiny as a freshly minted penny.
Did he feel the same?
After a while, my mind settled as I nestled under my comforter and drifted off to sleep.
The sudden blast of warmth steeping through my system filled me from shoulders to feet, and I burrowed into it.
A hand wrapped around my waist, tugged me closer to the furnace, and roused me through the thick fog of sleep. A tickle of heat at my neck had me shifting to allow better access.
That hand drifted down and slid under the hem of my T-shirt. Long, strong fingers glided over my skin in a slow, seductive dance, across my belly and up toward my breasts. My body responded before my mind could, curling my toes and flexing my knees to my chest, pushing me farther into the oven and against something hard.
Something solid and long.
Something…throbbing.
Fingers settled under my breast, cupped it, then rolled my nipple between them.
Awareness catapulted through me.
Frayne.
“You feel so…good,” he whispered against my ear, then trailed tiny angel kisses along my neck.
I snuggled closer to him.
“I missed you,” he whispered. “I missed holding you…like this. Kissing you. I missed…you.”
“You, too. Mmm.” My eyes wouldn’t open, fatigue warring with arousal.
He kissed my temple. “Go back to sleep. I just wanted you to know I’m back.”
“Safe and sound,” I mumbled.
“Safe and sound.” His deep chuckle sent a warm wave of tranquility through me.
I threaded my fingers through the ones at my waist. “Welcome home.”
Chapter 18
We woke at the same time.
I stretched, turned on my side, and then opened my eyes to find him doing the same.
The sleepy, sexy grin staring at me, coupled with the heavily lidded eyes and scruff of dark stubble lining his jaw, shot a wake-up alarm straight to my core. In less time than it takes for a heart to beat once, arousal pulled me fully awake.
“Morning.” Frayne’s rasp sent a shudder of want down my spine. He stretched his arms over his head, the sheet falling down low on his waist, tenting over a significant morning arousal.
I let my new bold best friend have free rein. She made me slide one leg over his thighs to straddle him.
Yup, he was as awake as I was.
With my hands flattened on his rock-hard chest, my naked lady parts sitting atop him, I leaned down and kissed him full on the lips, morning breath be damned. His fingers gripped my waist and held me in place.
“I missed you,” I said between kisses. “So much.”
“Missed you, too.”
Yeah, I was sitting on top of that proof.
In one deft move, he hauled my T-shirt over my head and flipped me onto my back. “All I could think about was you.” He kissed my chin. “Getting back to you.” He moved down my neck, over my breasts, stopping to lick my instantly hardened nipples. “Making love to you.”
He pulled up and pierced me with a look so filled with intensity and heat, it was a wonder he didn’t set me ablaze. The errant thatch of unruly hair fell in front of one eye and made me smile.
I pushed it back only to have it fall forward again. Then, I cupped his cheek. As he had numerous times before, he snuggled in and kissed my palm. My heart simply swelled.
“You’re here now,” I whispered. “That’s what counts.”
Our kissing grew fevered, deeper. I couldn’t touch him enough. My hands roamed and traced over every line of sinew and flesh on his body, glorifying in it. In no time at all, we were panting, moaning, frenzied.
In one effortless move, he slipped his hands under me, lifted my hips, and drove home, his breath hitching when he was fully encircled within me. My breath froze in my lungs.
“Cathy.” His voice cracked, choked with need.
I pressed my lips to his, shocked to discover him trembling.
“God, I missed you,” he whispered. “I want this to last, but I’m so close now I don’t think I can. I need you, Cathy. Now. Right now.”
I kissed him again, as the rhythm intensified with each plunge.
“Look at me,” he commanded. “Don’t close your eyes. I want to see you. I want to watch you.”
His pace quickened, and my thighs tightened as wave after wave broke within me with no warning. I struggled to keep my eyes opened and trained on him through it. Tears erupted from the force of the orgasm. My body knew what my mind had only just started to accept about this man, this wonderful, lovely man.
A low, cavernous moan roared from deep within him as he slipped over the edge and joined me.
An hour later, after a shower together that was more sexual than cleansing, we were dressed and at my kitchen table.
“So tell me what you discovered.”
“I’m not sure you’re going to like it. Or if anyone in Heaven will.” He cocked his head in his telltale way and took a long sip of his coffee.
“A blanket statement like that makes me want to know even more. Tell me.”
He leaned an elbow on the table, his cup in his hand. “Part of how I research a person is to look for mentions in periodicals of the time, not only court documents and county records.”
“What, like magazines? Newspapers?”
“Yeah. I happened to see a notation in one of the county archives about a foreclosure on a property owned by a J.E. Heaven. I couldn’t find any old bank records, so I thought a search through the local weekly newspaper might have mentioned something.”
“Kinda like the court and police log in our town paper.”
He nodded and drank some more coffee. “The library had copies of the old newspapers on microfiche, and I spent a day going through all they had available.”
“Your poor eyes.”
One corner of his mouth quirked. The sight of those lips and the memory of how they’d trailed across my body recently, made me squirm in my chair. Frayne, bless him, gave no indication he knew what was going on under the table.
“Yeah. Microfiche is torture on any day. Anyway. I found a reference in the paper of the foreclosure, and it confirmed the owner was one Josiah Ephraim Heaven, occupation listed as farmer, aged thirty-two. It stated he was a widower, his wife having died in childbirth shortly before the foreclosure.”
“Oh, that’s sad. No mention he’d been married before was ever made in any of our archival papers.”
“No. Not in his journals, either.”
“So now we know he came here by way of Virginia. Why would you think I wouldn’t like that news?”
“That’s not the news I mean.” He forked in some eggs, swallowed. “Josiah didn’t leave Richmond because of the foreclosure of his farm.”
“Then why?”
He paused, cocked his head, his soul-piercing stare doing all kinds of weird and wonderful things to my insides.
“Two days after the foreclosure, the newspaper reported Josiah was seen entering the home of the bank manager who’d ordered it. Witnesses stated they could hear the two of them fighting. The sheriff was called, and Josiah was escorted from the home. He wasn’t arrested but told to leave the bank manager alone or he would be.”
“Again, not seeing why this a problem.”
“The next morning, the bank m
anager and his wife were found dead in their bed. Stabbed, multiple times.”
“Oh, good Lord. And Josiah was a suspect?”
Frayne nodded. “I read every weekly newspaper edition for the next year I could find. Multiple mentions of the unsolved murders. The sheriff named Josiah as a suspect. Unfortunately, he’d fled the area and couldn’t be found. This happened in the late fall. Pretty soon winter erupted, and any trail or trace of him went dormant with the snow. Remember, back then the only way to track someone was by physically following behind them and interviewing folks who might be able to provide eye-witness accounts.”
The nosy parker in me asked, “Did you find mention of any other Heaven descendants living in the area? Josiah’s parents? Siblings?”
“None. There was no birth record for him, either. I pored through old church records but came up empty. Not unusual for the time. The only indication of his age was in the newspaper.”
My lawyer DNA started devising scenarios.
Frayne’s head-cock activated again. He stretched out his hand and took mine with it. “Watching your mind work is fascinating,” he murmured. “What are you thinking about?”
“Alternate theories.”
His eyes widened. “You don’t think Josiah committed the murders.” It wasn’t a question.
“I’m not saying he did or didn’t. But I have a very fact-based nature, and there’s no actual proof, no tangible evidence, that Josiah killed those people.”
“He loses his wife and baby; he loses his home. He fights with the person responsible for one of those things. That person turns up dead. Sounds plausible to me.”
“Circumstantial, at best.”
“Then why did he run?”
“We don’t know he did. It may be as simple as he decided to leave the area since it doesn’t seem there was anything to keep him there. Wife dead, home gone, no family. Maybe he wanted a fresh, new start in life.”
“And the day he leaves, the person responsible for his problems turns up dead? What do you think that was? Serendipity?”
I shook my head. “Josiah might not have been the only person with a grudge against the bank manager. His leaving town around the time of the murders could be purely coincidence. He didn’t change his name, which if he was guilty, you’d think he’d do so he couldn’t be found.”
