“Before we leave, we need to talk. Let’s have a seat at the table.” Ever the gentleman, he pulled out a chair and waited until she was settled. “I want to reinforce details of the differences between abuse and a dominant lifestyle, one where the submissive has control of her life. We’ve discussed generalities several times when you’ve asked about my club.”
“Jackie said she’s been there with one of her friends, and loved it.”
“Tonight is a get-together, a small party where people get to know each other.”
“Nobody’s going to hurt anyone?”
“No. On any night there, nothing is done without consent. There’s a world of difference between abusive pain and erotic pain. I want you to understand the difference.”
“Like what I just experienced?” And still crave?
“Yes, but there’s more…so much more.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
With only an idea of what to expect, Adara fidgeted in her seat as Julien pulled into Ambrosia’s parking lot. If she crossed her legs to cover her crotch, the cheek of her ass would show. If she left them uncrossed, the chasm between her thighs gaped in invitation. She settled for not crossing her legs and folding her hands primly in her lap. A glance at Julien and she realized he understood her dilemma. His smile held nothing but warmth and pride, no condescension, no smirk. He really did like putting her body on display.
“Adara, what’s traveling at warp speed through your busy mind now…” Julien’s voice embodied not just curiosity, but sympathy.
“Um, just a little nervous.”
“About?”
“Ah, well…I’ve heard stories about women leaving here with all kinds of scars and stuff.”
“Adara, do you believe I would either hurt or allow anyone else to hurt you? Who told you such nonsense, anyway?”
A split-second pause.
“I know you won’t hurt me…Jackie said that some of the men here did some really weird stuff.”
“First of all, you know all kinds of people walk this earth, each an individual with individual tastes and preferences. Second, I give you my word, even if you begged me, I would do nothing to intentionally leave any marks on your body—or mind. It’s not what I’m about. Tonight is just a get-to-know-you kind of gathering. I wanted you to come and meet some of the folks in the lifestyle before misconceptions sway your judgment.”
“I haven’t heard that much, and don’t know much more than we’ve talked about.”
“There’s a lot to learn, and no—it’s not all about whips and chains, as you are about to find out.
“I’m ready.” At least I think I am.
“Good, sweetheart. Then reserve judgment until you learn more. Don’t let anyone make up your mind for you. We’ll look around, and if you want, we’ll talk afterward. I wanted you to see for yourself. If you don’t want to move forward, it won’t change the way I feel or my promise to help you.”
As he pocketed his keys and exited to come around and open her door, she took a deep, calming breath. To have faith in Julian—a no-brainer, to overcome fear might prove more difficult.
“Have you ever seen Jackie here?” Seeds of doubt and jealousy couldn’t be ignored.
“No, I haven’t. Thank God.”
“She might have made it up…who knows?”
Julien escorted her along the winding pathway lit with medieval castle shaped solar lighting. His possessive hand at her waist steadied her nerves as she ascended the gem-encrusted, stone steps. The air smelled of the earth and forest nearby. Scents of woodland flowers drifted to her, the calming aromas reminding her of her parents’ greenhouse.
The massive stone building nestled in an idyllic setting, secluded in a wooded area. The large wood-plank doors held a wrought iron inlaid design of a dragon breathing fire skyward. Beside the dragon stood an armored warrior, his shield and sword held high, a maiden, kneeling before him.
Her gaze darted around, looking for—what? What exactly did she expect to see in the parking lot? A man chasing and whipping a woman trying to flee his perverted sense of fun? Get a grip, Adara. Julien’s not going to hurt you. She’d heard little about the lifestyle and never knew anyone personally involved…until now. She never would’ve imagined her boss to be part owner of this type of club at their first meeting. Maybe it wasn’t such a strange way of life after all. Maybe her subconscious knew all along.
Every step taken moved the plug inside her to send electric jolts rocking throughout her abdomen, her muscles clenching around it involuntarily. Shudders rippled through her body, which he must’ve felt with his hand at her back.
His knowing smile confirmed it.
Already her breasts strained against her bra, her nipples poking through the lace, outlined by the thin cotton of her top. When she looked down, she saw twin points of embarrassment.
“Don’t worry, Adara. You look beautiful.” His husky voice brought her attention to his heavy-lidded eyes, dark with hunger.
He’s not immune. “But—” She didn’t know how to voice her embarrassment.
His arched brow silenced further comment. Julien’s steadfast countenance reassured in a manner consistent with his character, reminding her of their bond.
When he guided her through the doorway, she stepped into a fantasyland. A large vestibule with stone walls and torch lights perpetuated the feel of an old castle. Colorful tapestries hung along the walls in rich jewel tones with depictions of knights, dragons, and maidens.
A set of crossed swords adorned the walls on each side. In the corner stood a suit of armor, javelin clutched in the metal hand, ready to defend against the visual nightmares her mind conjured. Even the earthy smell, cool, dark, and mysterious, lent an air of authenticity. Her body shuddered.
“Hello, Andrew, busy tonight?” Julien smiled briefly, then immediately staked his claim as the younger man gave Adara an appreciative once over. “This is Adara, she’s mine.” His arm circled her waist.
“Yes, sir. Pleased to meet you, Adara. Welcome to Ambrosia.”
“Hi, Andrew.” She couldn’t possibly utter anything else as she tugged once again on the hem of her skirt.
Andrew’s knowing grin unnerved her. “New to the scene, are you?”
“Um…” She fidgeted.
“Yes, and she’s taken.” Julien’s dark scowl generated a blanched expression on the younger man.
Adara sidled closer to Julien as he tucked her under his shoulder. When he guided her into the great room, she stumbled and inhaled sharply, unprepared for the vastness and splendor. Julien steadied her with his hand around her shoulders.
In her mind’s eye, the setting transported her back to a seventeenth century Scottish castle, reminiscent of one she’d visited with her parents years ago. Large stone pillars divided the room into thirds and marched down the length of the great hall. The arched support beams on top gleamed in lavish splendor and beckoned the gaze further. Each stanchion held sconces with scented candles. The flames danced and cavorted with wild abandon. A slight air current encouraged her goose bumps.
Intermittently spaced, antiqued brass-finished chandeliers, double tiered, each with golden, teak-hued crystals, provided old world charm and low suggestive lighting. The marble flooring peeked around edges of area rugs, each anchoring an intimately-set table.
Her smile faltered at the sight of two manacles dangling from a massive stone pillar in the center of the room, two more attached near its bottom. Blood drained from her face. Castles and manacles go together. Trying to ignore the repugnant sight, she let her gaze surf over the deep-seated sofas bordering the room with stacks of blankets beside each. Yet her eyes kept darting back to the manacles…
There were dozens of people in the room, milling and mingling. None seemed to take notice of her slutty appearance. Most were dressed in the same style. When she took a closer look at the walls, bile rose in her throat. Spaced at intervals were rustic mahogany wall cabinets containing various types of canes and whips
, most with decorative and colorful adornments.
The instruments of torture on display didn’t seem to bother anyone else.
“Adara? Look at me, sweetheart.”
She froze on the spot, her brain short-circuited, unable to move until Julien guided her face to meet his gaze. “Adara?”
That voice ruled the deepest parts of her soul. Her mouth opened once, twice, but no words could come.
“Adara.”
She nodded but had no idea to what she just agreed. Her lungs wouldn’t fill with air. With each heartbeat, she tried to take a slow breath but failed. Panic filled her mind.
“Breathe slowly, Adara, with me. Understand? We’ve done this before.”
He took her hand and placed it on his chest.
Unshed tears filled her eyes in desperation. The room began to spin. Her heart beat wildly as she hyperventilated.
Confusion edged out Julien’s voice.
She heard him speaking, yet the words no longer made sense. Numbness in her hands and feet accompanied a tingling around her mouth. She would lose consciousness and be left at Julien’s mercy. Sweat popped out along her brow and lightheadedness made her sway toward him. There seemed to be a sense of urgency in his voice, yet she could no longer fathom why.
* * * *
“Adara, I need you to focus on me. Now. Understand? I’m going to help you.” He’d expected a reaction, but not so drastic.
Her glazed eyes stared wide without blinking, her hands clutching his upper arms loosening with each panted breath. Her muscles had locked tight after her gaze rested on the manacles but loosened in slow degrees of blood draining from her face.
His firm grip bit into her shoulders and backed her up against a pillar to help support her weight. With one hand behind her neck, he brought his mouth down on hers. “Open for me, Adara.”
He covered her mouth with his own. When he exhaled, she jerked, tried to pull back and turn away. Still, he held her wedged against the pillar with no place to go.
Terror filled her eyes as he breathed into her mouth, sharing his breath. He gave her no choice but to take what he gave, repeating the process several heartbeats later. His rhythm soon overtook her need to breathe through her nose. He pinched it shut with his other hand and took away the choice.
Her fingers clawed at his hands to no avail. In and out, over and over until she calmed, her breathing matching his without option.
A look of euphoria crept into her countenance. Her Co2 level is rising.
Julien felt Adara’s muscles go limp against him before she slumped. Letting go of her neck, he scooped her up in his arms to carry her to one of the sofas. When he sat with her settled on his lap, her head rested against his shoulder. He’d known it would be a big step bringing her here but had hoped to talk her through an extreme reaction.
When he tipped her chin up, glazed eyes remained out of focus. At least she’d calmed. The soft blanket he wrapped around her felt like a barrier. She wasn’t his first submissive, but he’d never worked with someone so…challenged.
Her inner strength would see her through with a determination that would surface and not be denied. If he’d had any doubts, he wouldn’t have brought her so soon.
When she moaned and burrowed into his embrace, he rested his chin on top of her head. The snug cradle of his arms would provide comfort. There would be time later to talk. Right now, she needed security.
“Is she all right, Julien? What happened?” Marc’s look of concern carried an edge.
“She’s okay. Got spooked from the wall décor.” The possessiveness in him roared when anyone else came near.
“Do you have all her history? Nate said she’s had it rough with family,” Marc asked, worry furrowing his brow.
“Yes, her uncle and cousin.”
“Christ. Anything I can do?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. It would help if she could talk with some of the other subs, see that we’re not a bunch of Neanderthals.”
“Okay. How about tomorrow? She’s not gonna absorb anything useful tonight.” After a second’s thought, he added, “I know you gave us the short version during our meeting…I guess I didn’t realize how badly they went after her. We’re here for you both, if you need us.” He gestured to Conner and Nate.
“I’ll let you know…her family’s not gonna give up and they won’t play nice. I’m probably gonna need help at some point.”
“Let me know. We’ll be ready,” Marc replied. “Anything you need.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Hey, sweetheart, we’re home. Sit still, I’ll carry you inside.”
Adara’s hazy memory of Julien carrying her to the car promoted the contentment of being wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket. After waking up in Julien’s arms at the club, they’d spent an hour talking, first about her reaction, then about inane tidbits of trivia that came to mind. Though she’d been the one to panic, he was the one to apologize.
“Hmmm.” The sultry evening breeze swept the bangs from her face as he strode into the kitchen. The garage door closed with a small cha-chink as it locked. Nika’s cold nose brushed her ankle in greeting.
Warm and still feeling foggy, she snuggled in his arms. Every step he took sent shivers circling outward from where the plug nestled. Awareness of the fullness coupled with the floaty feeling from Julien’s forced breathing adventure made her body a jumble of emotions. Desperation for fulfillment consumed her, again. The fact she could consider sex confirmed her inner strength returning.
As she ran her fingers along his chest and up the back of his neck, his heated look made her smile. Without conscious thought, her body responded to the unspoken urgency in his eyes, and she squirmed in his embrace.
“How are you feeling, Adara?” Only when he laid her out on the massive bed did she realize it wasn’t her room. Both the headboard and footboard contained intricate iron scrollwork, a larger version of her own bed. Her passion-fogged mind registered rich, deep colors, leather, and low lighting when she glanced around the room. He opened the French doors to a balcony, admitting the soft sound of the surf along with the salty breeze.
“Umm, fine.”
“Adara. Describe fine.” That voice. The one that compelled her to tell all.
“Um, actually, I was hoping…”
“I’m listening.”
“I was hoping we could have sex. I need you, Julien.” Her voice rose just above the crash and slide of relentless waves on the beach.
“Good girl, but you’ve had a rough night. I’m not certain you’re ready—”
“I am...don’t you see? I’ve faced the worst of my fears and what happened? You held and soothed, then explained how some women want those things. I—I don’t—”
“I’m glad you understand the power you wield.”
“I do. At least with you. That’s why I feel so secure. Don’t you realize? Every girl dreams of a man to protect and cherish her, support, and encourage, all the things you’ve done. You’ve shown me a world, albeit with a few kinks, but a world where I can thrive. I want you.”
“Tell me what’s off-limits. Also, in the bedroom, you’ll address me as sir.”
“No limits.” Adding, “sir,” at his scowl. Her heart hammered in her chest. With her next heartbeat, his entire demeanor changed, more imposing, forceful, and omnipotent. Instead of fear, a calm assurance stole over her with his approach.
* * * *
The thought of sinking deep inside Adara sent Julien’s pulse into overdrive. Button by button, he opened her shirt to expose and nibble along every inch of her soft skin. She tasted so sweet, his memory never as good as the real thing.
A small shudder rippled through her body as his warm breath caressed the sensitive flesh of her neck. The sweet scent of her shampoo brought a surge of blood flow southbound.
Everything else faded away when he let his hands drift down her flanks. She lifted her hips for him to remove the short skirt. After turning her on her side to face him,
he lay down beside her, wanting to see her need for him, to see the myriad of expressions cross her face as he played her body like a finely tuned instrument.
With erect nipples begging for his attention through the scant lacy bra, he pulled the fabric below her breast to taste her soft bud. Her gasp echoed in the silence while his tongue circled the peak before his mouth suckled. She groaned and arched into him.
“How did you like wearing the plug tonight?”
“I like the full feeling, and when I walk or move, it reminds me it’s there. Makes me ache inside, but in a good way.”
He traced his fingers along her ribcage, then down her flank to cup her ass and pull her closer against his engorged shaft straining under his jeans. It felt so right, such a long time in coming. She arched her back when he pressed his palm over the plug, the look of ecstasy on her face almost his undoing.
“Sweetheart, if I don’t have you soon, I’m going to explode.”
“Please, sir. Now. I want you.”
“Easy, sweetheart, anticipation makes it sweeter. On your hands and knees, Adara.”
A little help guided her into position before urging her knees apart. “Wider, sweetheart.” The sight of her ready and waiting for him was almost painful as he left the bed to discard his clothes.
“I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight.” Thoughts of all the things he’d do to her clouded his brain. For a moment, all he could do was look at the creamy skin of her hips.
His fingers gliding over the near-perfect smoothness of her ass made his shaft ache. Even the thin white scars couldn’t mar the perfection.
She trembled under his touch.
Kneeling behind her and leaning forward let him cocoon her in his presence before circling his arm around her waist and smoothing his hand down her belly. Her muscles bunched under his exploration, until he eased over the soft curls when hips tilting forward and a shudder passing through her body defined her need.
The finger he inserted in her sheath met an unrivaled heat as her core’s response flowed around him. Several gentle thrusts and she moaned. He inserted another and curled them to feel for the familiar rough patch.
Carnal Beginnings: A dark romantic suspense (Carnal Series Book 1) Page 17
