“Hmm.” He turned his back. “Lie down,” he said, ignoring me altogether.
He disappeared into the bathroom. I heard water running. I slowly moved to the edge of the bed, lying down as he’d said. He soon followed and took a pillow from the bed.
“Lift your hips.”
I looked at the wall opposite to where he sat and did as he said. He slid the pillow beneath my hips, elevating them.
“Is this necessary?” I asked.
“Yes.” He settled on the bed. “Spread your legs.”
I did, feeling aroused again even as I tried hard not to let his stuff leak out of me, knowing I’d die of humiliation if that happened.
“Good girl. Now look at me.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to see him, didn’t want him to see me. Not like this.
“Look at me.”
Reluctantly I turned my head, so that I lay facing him. He met my gaze then purposefully shifted his to my ass. He spread my cheeks, and when he did, he returned his eyes to mine. I squeezed mine shut.
“Things could have gone so very differently.”
He rubbed the warm, soapy cloth over that most private place he’d just used.
“It didn’t have to come to what it came to. I’m so grateful that you’re safe, that you’re not hurt, and at the same time, I am so fucking angry with you.”
“I didn’t have a choice, Damon. Alexi forced me—”
“I gave you a choice,” he said. “I was your choice.”
“You left.”
“I told you I’d help you. I’d get you out of this mess.”
I lowered my lashes. He was right. He had.
I heard him take a deep breath. Maybe he was counting to ten. But when he next spoke, he had me burying my face in the blankets.
“My come is still inside you, Lina.”
He rubbed the washcloth over me. I groaned, twisting away, but he gripped my hip, stopping me.
“No. Look at me.”
When I didn’t move, he slapped my ass. I jumped, more startled than hurt, and lay my other cheek on the bed so I could look at him. He still wore the blood-splattered shirt, and the stitches on his face looked painful.
“I want you to understand something,” he started, taking his time with his words. “What happened to you last night—I can’t think of it without feeling sick. The thought of you up there, unable to speak, bound, nearly naked in front of those…”
His lip twisted in revulsion
“In front of those…vultures—”
He slammed his fist against the headboard, shaking the bed, making me jump.
“If you’d been hurt—”
“I wasn’t. You saved me.” A tear slid from my eye, down over my nose, and onto the bed. I knew how close we’d come to him not having saved me. I knew what would have happened then. To him. To me.
“You answer to me from now on, do you understand?”
I nodded.
“You will stay here with me, and I will decide what happens going forward with the investigation, with everything. Including a call to your sister explaining everything.”
“Damon, I can’t do—”
“Including a call to your sister, explaining every single fucking thing.”
I nodded, unable to hold his gaze.
“But first.”
He returned his attention to my ass and rubbed the cloth over it before setting it down between my spread legs and removing the pillow from beneath me. “Pull your knees up to your chest.”
“Damon, please.”
He petted my head, then took a fistful of hair and twisted it back. Gentle and…not. It was him. All of it was him.
“Is my come still inside you, Lina?”
I swallowed hard. He knew it was, he just wanted me to say it.
“Answer my question.”
“Yes.”
“I want to watch it slide out. Now draw your knees up, and keep your eyes on me the whole time. There are more embarrassing ways to do this if you’d prefer.”
I didn’t doubt him. Slowly, I did as he said, feeling equal parts ashamed and aroused, knowing this was an act of submission to him, to what he wanted, knowing this little humiliation, it was as much for me as for him. This was his power over me. It was my yielding it to him.
And so I did. I kept my eyes on his as I relaxed my muscles and watched his face as his seed dripped out of me, sliding warm over me as it fell onto the washcloth. I saw his cock tent against his pants as he watched. And when he met my eyes and I held his gaze in this, my punishment, something changed between us. The shift was small, but important. Something weighty. We belonged to each other in a way we hadn’t before. It was whole and complete and final. I was his and he was mine. Fucking me before Christ, before the holy altar, it wasn’t like this. Not like the intimacy of this moment. That was physical. A need. This…this was us.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you.”
When it was over, we went into the bathroom, where Damon stripped off his clothes. That was when I saw the bandages around his middle. He ran water in the tub, checking the temperature before plugging it.
“The water’s hot. Too hot. But I need you clean. I need to scrub off yesterday’s filth.”
He climbed into the tub. He let me look at him, at his damaged body, before stretching his arm out to me, palm up.
I realized what was different then. Up until this point, he’d always put my needs first, he thought of me first. He was doing that now too, but differently. On his terms.
“Come here, Lina.”
Snapping out of it, I placed my hand in his and stepped into the tub. The water scalded. It was too hot, but I’d adjust, get used to it. I lowered myself down slowly. He slipped in behind me, cradling me between his knees.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“I walked.”
“Walked? From the FBI office? Without a coat?”
“No. From the hospital. The lawyer Raphael arranged drove me to see you when they let me go, but you’d already been discharged.” I paused, and my eyes filled up at the returning memories. “You’re hurt because of me.”
“I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“Your bandages—”
“Can be replaced.”
He picked up a loofah and began to scrub my back. It felt good, at first, but it got rougher and rougher. I sat through it, though. I didn’t move. Instead, I watched his face in the reflection of the mirror on the opposite wall.
“Sergei isn’t dead,” I said, unsure if I should bring it up.
“That’s too bad. Turn around.”
I shifted so I faced him, splashing some of the water out of the tub as I did.
“Damon, are you okay?” Was he in shock? After the killing? I wanted to ask, to talk about it, but knew I needed to leave that to him.
He stopped and looked at me. “I’m not sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m not sorry for having killed a man. For injuring the others. In fact, all I can think about is wrapping my hands around Alexi’s throat and choking the fucking life out of him too.”
“Damon—”
He began to scrub me again, his gaze far-off. I let him.
We didn’t speak until he’d finished. He let the water out of the tub and climbed out, grabbed a towel, and wrapped me in it, drying me before getting one for himself. He dried himself off then dropped it so he stood naked.
“Let’s sleep,” he said. “I think we both need to sleep.”
He drew the curtains closed and led me to the bed, where he lay me down before climbing in beside me and wrapping a big, heavy arm over me. His breathing leveled out almost immediately. I lay there for a moment, in the safety of his arms. In the warmth there. In the feeling of home.
“Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for coming for me.”
He tugged me closer. “Sleep, Lina.”
22
Damon
Early
the following morning, I went to a shop nearby to pick up basics for Lina to wear until we were allowed into her apartment to get her things. I now sat across the table from her while she and I listened to the phone ring at Sofia and Raphael’s house. Raphael hadn’t told Sofia anything. That was apparent from the way she answered the phone, from the small talk she exchanged with Lina. From her surprise at hearing me with her.
“I’m confused, I thought you were in New York City, Damon? Is it my pregnancy brain that’s got this wrong?”
“I am in New York City. There’s nothing wrong with your brain. But I’ve kept something from you that I shouldn’t have,” I said.
“It’s not his fault,” Lina chimed in.
“What’s going on?” Sofia asked. I heard Raphael in the background, and we listened quietly, not quite hearing the whole conversation but parts of it, especially the part when she asked him how long he’d known and why he hadn’t told her.
“It’s not Raphael’s fault either, Sofia. It’s mine. I swore Damon to secrecy. Blackmailed him, really, into keeping my secret.”
“Are you okay, Lina?”
I heard the concern in Sofia’s tone.
Tears welled in Lina’s eyes, and the tip of her nose reddened like it always did when she was about to cry. But she drew in a deep breath and sat up straighter.
“I am. Now. Raphael, can you hear me too?”
“Yes,” my brother answered.
“I’m sorry I made you lie to Sofia.”
“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t choose to do, Lina. I don’t like it, but it was for the best. I’m glad you’re coming clean now,” Raphael replied.
“Have the police been out there yet?”
“Police?” Sofia asked.
“Yes,” Raphael answered. “They found the journal and took it. I’d guess it’s either in the FBI’s hands or close to it by now.”
“What journal?”
Lina explained to Sofia how she’d kept one piece of evidence that was too damning to their grandfather. Sofia listened in silence.
“That’s one of the reasons I came to New York City. It was all I could think about, that journal, what it said inside. The name Grandfather mentioned: Markov. So, I found him. I needed to see him for myself. Make some sense of things.”
Lina told her the whole long, sordid story, and Sofia listened in silence. When Lina stopped talking, silence hung in the air until I cleared my throat.
“I was hoping I could take care of it, of her,” I said.
“You did,” Lina said.
“I was almost too late,” I said.
Lina lowered her lashes, and when she didn’t give away the details of that final night, I didn’t press her to.
“What’s going to happen now?” Sofia asked, her voice tight.
“I’ve hired Lewis to defend her, if it comes to that. He’ll be present as she’s questioned,” Raphael answered.
“They can’t arrest you. You were sixteen,” Sofia said to Lina.
“I don’t think that’s what they want,” Lina said. “I just want to be sure Grandfather isn’t in more trouble.”
“He made that trouble. That trouble had nothing to do with you!” Sofia snapped. “You made it yours.”
“He’s our grandfather,” Lina said softly.
“And look what he’s done. Destroying our legacy wasn’t enough. He nearly got you—” she broke off.
Lina wiped her eyes as Raphael came on the line.
“When are you bringing her back home, brother?”
I looked at Lina. “That’s up to her, once she gets the all clear from the FBI.” I wouldn’t drag her anywhere, wouldn’t force it. That was how she’d gotten into this mess. It was one of the first things she’d said to me. Everyone did everything for her own good. Me too. “I’ll be here with her, though. She won’t leave my sight until this is resolved.”
“I’m not allowed to fly,” Sofia said quietly, sniffling. “I wish I could be there with you, Lina.”
“You belong there, Sofia,” Lina said. “You have to think about the babies. You’re still not finding out if they’re boys or girls?”
“The way they kick, I’m sure at least one will be a soccer player,” Sofia said.
Lina smiled, her first authentic smile in a long time. “I can’t wait to meet them,” Lina said.
“Me either,” Sofia replied.
The cell phone Maxx had given Lina rang. She looked at it, then at me.
“We have to go,” I said. “We’ll call again later.”
“Damon?” Raphael said.
I picked up the phone, disabling the Speaker option. “Yes?”
“You and I need to talk.”
I’d told him about the dead man.
“Let me take care of Lina first.”
“All right. If you need anything else—”
“I won’t hesitate.”
We hung up. I turned to Lina, who nodded her head and told the person on the other line she’d see them in an hour. She then hung up.
“It’s Maxx. I can get into the apartment to pick up my things.”
Her relief showed on her face.
“I appreciate the clothes you bought me, but honestly, you dress me like a nun.”
I smiled. “I’m not used to buying women’s clothing.” I’d picked up a knee-length skirt and an oversize sweater. What I’d paid attention to were the undergarments: a lacy pair of panties and matching bra.
“And they have the journal. They’re running some tests on it now, I guess, comparing it to the evidence they already had. Maxx will be here in forty-five minutes. He’ll take me to the apartment, then to their offices for more questions. I should probably call Mr. Lewis.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t have anything to hide, Damon.”
“I know that, but he knows the law. It can only help you to have him there.”
“Can you come with me?”
“I was planning on it, but I’m glad you asked.”
She smiled and picked up the attorney’s card. “I’ll give Mr. Lewis a call.”
“I need to head downstairs to talk to Father Leonard.”
Lina nodded, and I turned to leave, glad we’d called Sofia and Raphael, my mind full of what I needed to do now.
Father Leonard stood sweeping the church floor when I walked in. I had a feeling he’d been waiting for me.
“Damon,” he said, setting the broom aside and walking toward me.
“Father.” From when I’d first met Father Leonard, he wasn’t what I’d expected. I had a feeling, though, that Gavin had put great thought into sending me here to him rather than anywhere else.
“I was just finishing up,” he said. “Thought I’d get a cup of coffee. Would you care to join me?”
“Yes.”
We walked out of the church and to the coffee shop down the street. They’d come to know us there and greeted us warmly. We ordered our usual drinks and took a table at the back. Father Leonard studied me, his gaze honest and intelligent.
“How is she?” he asked. He had to know Lina was with me.
“Better.”
“I’m glad.”
The waitress arrived with our coffees, set them down, and left.
“And how are you?”
“Better too.” I sipped my cappuccino, and he picked his up to sip. We sat in silence for a few moments, but it felt right. Father Leonard had a calm about him, always had. Like he was perfectly comfortable in his skin.
“Gavin is a clever old man, you know. He has a keen eye. Did with me too.”
“Was he at seminary at the same time as you?”
“Yes, although he wasn’t dean then. More a mentor and a friend. He made sure I understood there was no sin in…sowing my wild oats before I decided to take the final step. At least, for me, it was that. I have a feeling it’s different for you.”
I held his inquisitive, sure gaze and felt sure myself. In fact, I had n
o doubts for the first time in a long time. “I love her.”
He nodded, smiled. “When will you let Gavin know you’re leaving seminary?”
I accompanied Lina to her apartment. The FBI had been thorough in their search, even floorboards and cupboards had been torn up. What they hoped to find I wasn’t sure. Lina didn’t say what she felt at seeing this, but I had a feeling she’d never been at home here. Not with Sergei, not with Alexi. She packed up her personal things, stuffed three duffel bags full, while Maxx looked on, arms folded across his chest. We then drove to his office, where she’d be questioned again. Mr. Lewis met us there, and at Lina’s insistence, I was allowed to enter with her.
“The journal is authentic,” Maxx said. “And it proves the Markov’s connection to your grandfather.”
“What will happen to him? My grandfather, I mean?”
“He’s cooperating with us,” Maxx said, seemingly annoyed about it. “He’ll cut a deal to turn over Sergei.”
“What sort of deal?” I asked.
“One where he won’t earn additional jail time.”
“What can he tell you?” Lina asked.
“I can’t divulge much, but Sergei Markov was hoping to take a piece of the Italian market by driving out the Italian mobs. Your grandfather had connections.”
“But that’s only Sergei? What will happen to Alexi?”
“We’ll use this to make sure Sergei turns over evidence on his son.”
“Will he do that?” Lina asked.
Maxx sat back and looked at us in turn. “Both men are guilty of many things. If I can put them both away for thirty years, I’ll take it over putting one away for fifty and letting the other go free.”
“Is Lina safe?” I asked.
“That’s one thing I need to talk to you about. We’d like you to testify against Alexi Markov. Tell the jury you were essentially held against your will, put up for auction. Give them an idea of how that evening went. Sergei and Alexi aren’t the only two we’re prosecuting. We picked up several others during the raid. Several others who were willing to buy the use of you without your consent.”
Lina’s face paled. I took her hand and squeezed it. “You won’t intimidate her into testifying,” I told Maxx.
“No,” Lina said. “Those people…they’re horrible. The things I saw them do…” she shook her head, then faced Maxx again. “But that night, they wore masks. I won’t be able to identify who bid on me.”
Disgraced (Amado Brothers) Page 17
