by Mandy Baggot
‘You don’t need to understand him, Larry, because I do and that’s enough.’
She opened the car door and got out, slamming it shut behind her.
They’d taken his watch, his jewelry, his belt, his shoes and his cap before they shut him in the cell. It was like being sixteen all over again. But this time he was entirely to blame and he still didn’t regret it for a second. He’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. He looked at the bed and that brought back a whole other set of memories. Sleepless nights filled with yelling and pounding on the walls, screams he tried to ignore, pitch dark.
He put his hands to his head and paced the width. He was done in two strides. Closing his eyes he tightened his core and his resolve. Buzz would sort this out. If they formally charged him he’d hold his hands up, take the rap, respect the law, do the punishment. And if the Marlon Awards panel decided he was no longer worthy of his nomination then so be it. He wasn’t backing down or apologizing because he wasn’t sorry.
He clenched his grazed knuckles and tried to ignore the shaking in his hands.
‘Pardon me, I think my boyfriend is here … Jared Marshall.’
Everyone was on the phone or shuffling paper. No one seemed to want to talk to her. She’d raised her voice when she’d asked this time and now the waiting area of people were all looking her way.
The female police officer looked down at something on her desk as if she needed to check. Just how many Nashville stars got arrested? If he was here then Honor knew the whole station would know about it.
‘Honor, come sit over here.’
She looked up and there was Buzz, sitting a little way down the corridor. She walked over to him but didn’t sit. Sitting meant she was cool with this situation and she really wasn’t.
‘Is he OK?’ she blurted out.
‘I haven’t seen him. He hasn’t asked for a lawyer but I’ve called him and he’s on his way.’
‘This is all my fault.’ She shook her head and put her hands on her hips, kicking a heel at the floor.
‘No. This is down to Jared. He knows it. He’s going to bear the consequences.’
‘How can you be so OK with this?’
‘I’ve advised him a long time, Honor. This isn’t the first time he’s ended up in a police station.’
She sighed again and made a reluctant slump into the seat beside Buzz. ‘So what do we do?’
‘We wait.’
‘I can’t do that. I want to see him.’
‘You don’t get a cozy little chat in the interview room like on the TV. There’s procedure. We wait for the lawyer, he has to be interviewed, then he’ll be charged.’
‘What happens then?’
‘Hopefully we’ll get to take him home.’
‘Hopefully?’
‘It’s not a given.’
‘This is so stupid.’
‘Agreed on that.’
‘Why did this have to happen now? In the middle of the festival, right before the awards.’ She stood up again and paced across the corridor, leaning her back up to the wall.
‘Jared’s never been great with timing.’
Honor blew out a breath.
‘Listen, you need to think about yourself in all this,’ Buzz told her. He waited for her to meet his eyes before continuing. ‘You’re representing Gear today. The last thing Jared would want is for you to miss a spot because of him.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You need to. One of you has to be thinking straight.’
‘I don’t have anything for a couple hours.’
‘Then get yourself a coffee and come sit down,’ Buzz ordered.
Chapter Thirty Two
‘Can we get the hell out of here?’
They’d kept him four hours, insisting on going through all the motions despite him admitting the crime from the get-go. Everything he was wearing smelt of the place. He just wanted to get out, get showered and get changed.
‘Honor was here.’ Buzz led the way to the exit.
‘What?’
‘Did you think she wouldn’t come?’
He didn’t want to think that Honor had been here because of him. Waiting on those plastic seats, watching the clock tick around like his mom had done.
‘I sent her back to the festival. You’ve already messed things up for yourself I’m not letting you mess them up for her too.’
Jared nodded as he pushed open the door to outside. ‘Thanks, Buzz.’
‘My car’s over there. We need to discuss damage limitation.’
‘ … and, Honor, rumor has it Jed Marshall’s been arrested for assaulting Dan Steele right here at the Marlon Festival. Would you like to comment on that?’
‘Sally-Anne, what sort of a ridiculous question is that, darlin’? No, Honor would not like to comment on it and if any of the rest of you had ideas of asking something similar I want you to can them right now.’
Larry had saved her. Her moose-in-the-headlights impression and mumbled answers about her new album had been challenging enough but she hadn’t realized the news would break so quickly. She was still hanging on to that naivety from 2004. She’d had enough.
‘Thank you so much everybody.’ She stood up quickly and dismissed herself from the press call.
Once out of the marquee she checked her phone. No calls. Buzz had promised to call as soon as Jared was free. She looked at her watch. She had thirty minutes before she was back on stage.
‘Are you OK?’
Honor looked up into the face of a stranger, dressed in jeans and a black Festival t-shirt the roadies all wore. A backstage pass was hanging around his neck.
‘Yes … I’m fine. Just hanging out, catching some sun and a little peace,’ she responded. After the press interrogation she actually felt a bit faint. It was hot. There was little shade on the field and she knew she hadn’t drunk enough water. She needed to remedy that before her next performance.
‘Here.’ He held out a bottle of water.
She accepted it. ‘Thanks.’
‘My name’s Corbin. I’m working with Lindy Mason this weekend but if you need anything … ’
She unscrewed the cap on the bottle and slugged down mouthful after mouthful as if she hadn’t drunk in a week. She eventually pulled it from her mouth and wiped the residue with the sleeve of her blouse.
‘I actually have my own crew, but thanks, I should really get back to them. Thank you for the water, Corbin, it was nice to meet you.’
She smiled at him and headed back towards her trailer.
It was a cover, a song called ‘Telescope’ from the Nashville TV show soundtrack and Lennon and Maisy were two of the stars. They’d only had one rehearsal together but three talented performers didn’t need all that long to pull something special together. They brought the song to a finish and the crowd broke into wild applause.
‘Thank y’all so much! Thank you!’ Honor waved at the crowd and took another bow before leaving the stage. A roadie passed her a bottle of water and a towel and she took both, putting them down on an amp so she could slip her phone out of her pocket. Still no calls or messages. Was Jared still at the police station? Why was no one telling her what was going on?
‘Honor.’
She recognized the voice and she didn’t want to see him. She hastily pressed keys on her phone ignoring him, pretending she hadn’t heard. She felt him approach and she shifted slightly, turning her face towards the side curtains.
Dan touched her arm and she whipped it away. ‘Stop it! That’s how this whole thing started.’
She looked up at him, taking in his swollen, misshapen nose and the stitches across his cheekbone.
‘What do you want?’ she asked.
‘Can’t you see what he did to me?’
‘Yeah I see it. What d’you want me to say? It isn’t as if he hasn’t warned you.’
‘He’s out of control.’
Honor shook her head. ‘You want him to be. You want him out of your way because he’s twice
the musician you are. That’s what all this is about. It’s not about me like Jared thinks it is. It’s about you pushing his buttons and controlling what happens next.’
‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this. I’m the victim here!’ Dan raised his arms in frustration.
‘Why are you back here? You’re not on again until tomorrow with Vince Gill. Nice work setting that one up. Who did you have to walk all over?’
Dan shook his head and Honor could see he was biting down his jaw, reining in any smart retorts.
‘If you’re not here to tell me you’re dropping this crazy assault charge then I have nothing to say to you,’ she said firmly.
‘Honor, I care about you. I care about you being involved with someone like that. He’s a loose cannon, everybody knows it and today everybody saw it.’
‘Because you made it so.’
‘How long’s it gonna be before he starts taking his frustrations out on you?’
Fire boiled inside her but she held it in, looked at him, wondering whether this was for real. Was that what he really thought? That Jared was that sort of man? Was that the picture he was going to paint for anyone who asked about the situation? Would he start rumors, write stories, try and discredit Jared for his own gain?
She wet her lips with her tongue and leveled a steely look straight at him. ‘Jared Marshall isn’t only a better musician than you, he’s a better man. You drop the case against him or I’m going to start delivering a few home truths of my own … to Davey Duncan at Countrified or maybe to Yallwire or Nashville Sound.’
Dan shook his head. ‘I can’t do that. Too much has happened between us and it needs to be stopped for good.’
‘You drop the charges, Dan or I’ll tell the world what you said after my attack, when I came to in the hospital.’ She was breathing hard, her heart pumping full bore, the disgust she felt for him taking over her whole body.
‘What? What are you talking about?’
‘Don’t you remember?’ She scoffed and shook her head. ‘Well I guess that doesn’t really matter, because I remember. Because stuff like that bites into you, eats into your memory every time you’re feeling low or having a bad day. And I have to say I’ve had quite a few of those in the time you’ve been gone.’
‘Honor … ’ Dan started.
‘After I was attacked you said to the doctor … ’ She paused, the memory flooding her with hurt and pain, stirring up emotions he kept evoking whenever he put himself in her path. ‘You said, ”when you fix her up, see if you can make her prettier.”’
She spat out the last word, driving the point home and trying to get over even one ounce of what that had done to her back then. She held her nerve, kept her eyes on him, knowing what the reaction would be, knowing once she’d reminded him he’d remember. A flippant comment he’d never intended her to hear, one he probably didn’t even mean, but one so ill-timed and placed it had almost destroyed her.
He dropped his eyes to the floor and she finally let her breath go in an audible rush. She had nothing left to say to him. Whether he dropped the case against Jared or not, she’d told him how she felt, finally got rid of what she’d been hauling around with her for too long.
‘I can’t see public reaction being too great for you if that got out. Kicking someone when they’re down isn’t really a Tennessee kind of thing. Micro’d have a hard time spinning that around the nice guy image they’re building up. People might just understand exactly why Jared floored your ass.’
He still hadn’t picked his head up from looking at the floor of the side stage and she was glad. She picked up the towel and water and pushed herself passed. She took the steps off stage two at a time, no idea where she was going. She just knew she’d had more than enough for one night. She didn’t want to be leapt on by reporters or get dragged into one of the parties, she just wanted home. She wanted Jared.
‘Listen, Buzz, this ain’t up for debate, I’m goin’ in here. I’m gonna find Honor.’
He’d listened to over an hour of Buzz telling him what he was or wasn’t allowed to say to the press about the charges. His advisor had already contacted the Marlon Awards committee and they’d arranged a meeting for the morning. He didn’t care about anything except her. He had to know how things were between them. He had to know where he stood. He had to know if she was with him or if he’d just fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to him.
‘Jed, we hear the police have charged you with assault. Have you anything to say about that?’ A reporter was pushing a microphone in his face and a newsman was training a video camera his way.
‘Jed has nothing to say right now. Move along there,’ Buzz stated, taking hold of Jared’s jacket and ushering him forward.
‘Where would she be right now?’ He was asking himself as much as Buzz. He checked his watch. She would have finished only fifteen minutes or so ago. Would she have hit one of the party tents? Be doing an interview? His phone was dead and he knew Byron was working with Lindy Mason so there was no hope of getting hold of him. He was running out of ideas.
‘We’ll find her. Pity you don’t know her number, I have full signal and 87%.’
‘Way to go.’
He flashed his backstage pass at the security by the cordon and he and Buzz passed through. His eyes scanned everyone they walked by - crew, guests, artists - he just wanted to see someone he knew well enough to ask if they’d seen Honor.
‘Jared,’ Buzz said, catching hold of his arm. He pointed with his other hand.
He could see her. She was coming out of one of the trailers; her guitar case slung over one shoulder, her hair hanging down as she maneuvered out the door. Right at that moment he didn’t know what to do. There she was looking so damn perfect and here he was, screwing up again, charges hanging over his head, an award nomination probably dragging in the dirt.
‘What are you waiting for?’ Buzz asked him.
He shook his head. ‘I don’t know.’
The damn guitar was stuck in the doorway. What was the matter with the trailer companies? If they were providing trailers for musicians the least they ought to do is make sure a guitarist can get in and out the exit with an instrument on their back. She shifted sideways and tucked the guitar into her body. As it released and she was through she looked up. Jared.
All at once every emotion flooded out of her in a split second. She let the guitar slip from her shoulder and hit the ground and then she was running, haring down the steps of the trailer and tearing across the grass toward him. Her heart was bursting, her eyes leaking tears as she rushed to get to him, to be with him, to make sense of the whole mess they seemed to have gotten in.
She jumped at him, knowing he would catch her and he did. His solid mass hit her like masonry, jarring her, halting her speed, bringing her to a stop in his arms. He put her down and she squeezed him closer, breathing in the scent of him, freshly showered, leather, heat. Running her fingers down his face she kissed his lips, relished the feel of his mouth warming hers in response. It was only after this physical fix, after she’d sated the need for him that she thought about talking.
‘Are you OK? I came downtown but they wouldn’t let me see you and Buzz said … ’ She noticed Buzz for the first time as he waved a hand in recognition of his mention. ‘Buzz said I should come back to the festival and finish up my night.’
‘And Buzz was right,’ Jared agreed, holding her hand.
‘Listen, am I safe to leave you for a few hours? I could really do with seeing Lucille,’ Buzz interrupted.
‘Go, man, go see her,’ Jared ordered.
‘I’ll see you for our meeting in the morning,’ Buzz reminded. ‘Goodnight, Honor.’
‘Goodnight,’ she responded.
Buzz waved a hand and headed away from them towards the exit.
Jared blew out a breath and kissed Honor’s knuckles. ‘A crazy day, huh?’
‘Something like that. But I remember someone telling me if you don’t do something crazy once i
n a while you may as well be dead.’
‘What kind of ass would say something as stupid as that?’ Jared smiled.
‘The kind of ass I’m in love with,’ Honor responded.
She’d kept her voice steady. She wanted him to know but she didn’t want it to sound like a proclamation she couldn’t play down if he didn’t feel the same way.
‘What?’
‘What?’ She swallowed. She didn’t know if she had the nerve to say it a second time.
He nodded and kissed her knuckles again. ‘You got your car around here? There’s somewhere I wanna take you.’
Chapter Thirty Three
‘Where the hell are we going? I’m sure we don’t have to cross the state line to get good ribs. In fact I know we don’t,’ Honor said as she followed Jared’s directions along the freeway.
‘It’s only another five miles or so, I swear,’ he responded.
She glanced across at him. He was rubbing his reddened knuckles, looking out of the passenger window as they passed the country by. What had happened with Dan was the elephant in the car. They’d driven twenty miles already and they’d talked through her entire set list of the Marlon - which songs she felt had gone well, which songs could be dropped out of her next performance, what she could try next time. Neither of them had touched on the hot topic that really needed some sort of conversation, and hopefully closure.
‘I don’t regret what I did and I’d do it again,’ Jared stated. ‘I know it’s not politically correct to go beatin’ up on people but that’s OK. I’ll face up to whatever’s comin’.’ He turned to look at her. ‘I just want you to know that.’
‘I do know that,’ she answered. She kept her eyes on the road.
‘He’s playin’ games with you. Hell, he’s playin’ games with me too but I only know one way, you know.’
‘I know,’ she answered.
‘Hell, I don’t know, Honor. I don’t want you to be ashamed of who I am. I can’t change it. I don’t wanna change it. I’ve been raised this way and it’s the right way, I truly believe that.’
‘I know. I understand. It’s OK.’ She meant it. She meant it with all her heart. It might be rough justice but at least he took a stand. At least he had an opinion, morals, strength; there was no sitting on the fence, no gray areas.
