by Mandy Baggot
‘Anna wasn’t even in kindergarten and Jacob was just a baby. They needed their mom much more than their goofy older brother. Finlay may have been a bastard but he kept his end of the bargain. Luckily for me he got killed in the line of duty two years later.’ He put his hands to his hat. ‘That’s when mom launched the appeal and I was released after the forensic evidence was re-examined and they couldn’t rule out contamination.’
Honor was sobbing so hard now he wasn’t sure she’d heard everything he’d said. This wasn’t just breaking his heart, it was tearing at his soul.
‘Listen, I’m thinkin’ that the coffee might be cold right now so I’m gonna … ’ he started.
Honor raised her head and shook it hard. ‘No, don’t go.’
Her eyes were red raw and her cheeks were stained with tears. The need to hold her was consuming him but he didn’t dare to move. There might have been an honorable reason why he’d done what he did but he’d told lies, perverted the course of justice, kept this secret from her when he’d made her promises for the future.
‘Listen, I know what I’ve done, Honor. I’m not gonna make any excuses for it. I just … don’t want you to say anythin’ to me right now. You know all there is but it’s not gonna hit home right away.’
Those blue eyes were so full of tears it was killing him. He wanted to be taking her pain away not making it worse. His chest was tight and his head was fit to burst.
‘I’m gonna go out for a while, OK? I just want to give you some space and some time.’ The end of the sentence came out in a whisper.
‘Jared … ’ she began. He moved quickly, turning his back on her and heading for the door.
Chapter Forty Seven
When he’d got to the gravestone he’d fallen down onto the clay and cried hard. He’d shed tears before, for the loss of his father, but at the back of everything there was always that part of him holding back because of the secret he kept. Honor was the only other person apart from him and his mom who knew the real story. But, if Carol-Ann had her way, the whole world would know the truth by the end of the week. She wanted to come clean, for him. Just like he had taken the fall to keep her at home with his brother and sister ten years ago, she was ready to take the consequences now to free him from the scandal, to save his career.
He rubbed his palms into the dirt, as if delving down deeper would bring him closer to James. His father, the man who had taught him so much in the sixteen years they’d had together. He was strong because of him and the sacrifices he’d made.
‘I met my father today.’
Honor’s voice startled him and he sat up quickly, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his leather jacket before standing.
‘You shouldn’t be here,’ he replied, his back to her.
‘I found out that my mother’s dead but my father … he’s very much here and wants to get to know me,’ she continued.
He turned quickly to face her. ‘Honor, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.’
She shrugged. ‘Least I know I don’t have a stalker. Just a father.’
‘He was the one sendin’ you stuff?’
‘Yeah.’ She took a breath. ‘It’s Corbin.’
He balked. ‘What?’
‘Yeah, I know. Crazy, right?’ He watched half a smile reach her mouth. ‘Leave Nashville for a day and it all goes off.’
She looked at the gravestone in front of them. It was a bronze-colored epitaph with an engraving of the Confederate flag and the usual name and dates chiseled in beneath.
‘I know you want to honor his memory and Jared, you do.’ She watched him, wanting to reach him with her words. ‘If he’s looking down right now he would be proud of the way you held the family together, protected your mom, Anna and Jacob.’
He shook his head, unmoved.
‘Why do you still think you’ve let him down?’ she asked.
‘Because I should have saved him … I could’ve put a stop to what was goin’ on before it all got way out of hand.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘You were still a kid. It wasn’t your fault.’
‘If I hadn’t got into so much fuckin’ trouble the cops wouldn’t have been interested in our family. They wouldn’t have known we even fuckin’ existed,’ he yelled.
‘You can’t think like that! You mustn’t think like that. Is that what you spent time in jail for? Is that why you protected your mom all this years? So you could come out and still feel you’re to blame? Even after everything you did to try and put things right?’
‘I don’t know what you want me to say, Honor?’
‘I want you to stop wallowing in self pity for a start!’
‘Oh is that right?’
‘Yes, that’s right. I can’t pretend to understand everything you’ve been through because I haven’t lived it but, from where I’m standing, you’ve got to stop taking the rap.’
He folded his arms across his chest and shot her a steely look.
‘Your mom is in the house composing a statement right now. I called Buzz and the four of us are going to the police station tomorrow to sort this out. Buzz spoke to your lawyer and he thinks it won’t be in the public interest for the cops to reopen the case.’ She watched his reaction, saw him taking the implications on board and swallowing it down. ‘But people need to know you didn’t kill your father.’
He let out a heavy sigh that moved his whole body. He was so tired. So weary of feeling trapped, having a colossal weight on his shoulders, a cloud hanging over him. He didn’t know how to let that go.
‘And if I’m going to be part of this family we need to set a few ground rules. The first is no more secrets. Not one, d’you hear me?’
His heart lifted at her words. Was she really saying she still wanted to be together? He could hardly dare believe it.
‘If you’ve got a problem, Jared, no matter what it is, I want to hear about it. I might not like it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know about it.’
He blinked back the tears that were forming in his eyes and managed to nod at her. He didn’t trust himself to speak without turning into a wreck.
‘The second one is, if you’re gonna move into my place that shabby couch has really got to go.’
‘Honor … ’ he began, overwhelmed.
‘I mean it. I’m sure there are things living in it.’
He couldn’t wait another second. He stepped to her and lifted her off her feet, swinging her into the air and making her scream.
When he put her down her head was spinning a little and she had to grab his arms to rebalance. He moved to wrap his arms around her and held her against him.
‘The press are gonna eat us alive, you know that right?’
‘When did you start caring about them? You’re the reason DJ Davey Duncan needs counseling.’
He smiled, then moved his hand to touch his father’s ring still hanging from the chain around her neck. She touched his cheek with her hand and turned his head to lock his gaze.
‘I never took it off,’ she whispered. ‘Not once.’
He let her bring his face to hers until their mouths met and she felt that soft tingle of his stubble against her lips she so loved. Warm in his arms again, it was like coming home. Reunited in Alabama but definitely made in Nashville.
Epilogue
‘Alabama, are you ready?’
The frenzied cheering filled the packed-out arena.
‘I said … are you ready?’
Corbin put Honor’s guitar strap over her body and made sure her sound pack was in place. She took a swig from the bottle of water Mia offered her.
‘Thanks.’ She handed it back.
‘D’you know you look more nervous now on gig number thirty three than you were on gig number one?’ Mia remarked.
‘That’s because this one’s different. It’s Jared’s home state, it’s the first time he’s performed since … well, you know … it means a lot to him.’
It had been three months since Ja
red had been all over the news. The first few weeks had been completely crazy. Carol-Ann and Jared had spoken to the police and the press and, after that, there had been a week or so of nail-biting as the real story hit and the authorities decided what they were going to do about it.
Eventually, after much deliberation and input from what seemed like everybody, it had been decided it wasn’t in the public interest to take any further action. A personal visit from the police chief ended in the conclusion that the Marshall family had suffered enough.
‘Plus Carol-Ann, Anna and Jacob are on the front row,’ Honor reminded.
‘You still rocking that coconut lip gloss she gave you?’ Mia asked, grinning.
‘If I stop wearing it she’s going to start wearing a Kacey Musgraves t-shirt instead of one of mine. She told me.’
‘Hey, baby,’ Byron said, kissing Mia on the cheek as he passed her by. ‘We’re heading on. Honor, two minutes.’
She waved her hand and took another deep breath.
‘Where’s Jed?’ Mia asked, looking about the backstage area.
‘He … er … he got caught up with some guy from Maverick magazine,’ Corbin filled in.
She saw a look pass between her father and her best friend. Had he winked? Or was he still having trouble with his contact lenses?
‘Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and make some noise for … Miss Honor Blackwood!’ the announcer roared.
‘Shit! That wasn’t two minutes! I’m not ready!’ Her eyes bulged and she fanned her hands at her face.
‘Sure you are, go on,’ Corbin encouraged.
She had no choice. There were thousands of fans out there waiting for a show and when the audience was waiting you didn’t let it down. She hurried out of the wings and onto the stage as the arena went wild. She walked towards her mark but stopped short as something caught her eye. There on her spot, in the center of the stage was Jared.
All at once the band stopped playing, the lights went down and only a spotlight remained, focusing its glow on them both.
‘Hi, Jared, what are you doing here? This is kind of my spot for the next forty minutes,’ she spoke into the microphone theatrically for the benefit of the crowd.
‘I know that, Miss Blackwood, but right now I’m not plannin’ on singin’.’
He watched her brow crease as she frowned at him, completely bemused. She really had no idea what was about to happen.
‘Well, what are you doing here hijacking my spot?’ She turned to the audience, giving them an elaborate shrug.
‘D’you think we should tell her?’ he asked the waiting fans. They roared their approval.
‘You’re all in on this?’ She laughed and shook her head.
‘Are you ready?’ he asked the crowd. ‘After three. One … two … three.’
Forty thousand people chanted in unison. ‘Will you marry me?’
The noise and the question sent pinpricks to every centimeter of skin on her body. She was stunned, shocked into standing dumb, not knowing how to react.
Jared grabbed her hand and brought her back into the moment, his gray eyes soft and full of adoration.
‘Honor Blackwood, would you do me an honor? Would you be my wife?’ he spoke into the microphone.
As he held her hand, his fingers trembled as though he wasn’t completely sure of what her answer would be. But, despite the surprise of the situation there was no doubt in her mind about the reply.
She smiled at him, cleared her throat and looked into the crowd, all waiting. Summoning up all the power she had she leant back, took a breath in and hit the top C with every fiber of her being.
‘Yes!’
Awestruck, he waited until she ran out of breath and the audience had erupted before he threw his arms around her and gathered her against his body.
‘I love you,’ he whispered so only she could hear.
‘With all my heart,’ she answered.
Don’t miss Mandy’s first book for HarperImpulse, Do You Remember?
‘A heart-wrenching, breathtaking story of life, death, love, family, regret and hope.’
Me, My Bookshelf and I
Buy Do You Remember?
About HarperImpulse
HarperImpulse is an exciting new range of romance fiction brought to you from the women’s fiction team at HarperCollins. Our aim is to break new talent from debut authors and import the hottest trends from the US, bringing you the very best in romance. Whether that is through short reads for your mobile phone or epic sagas that span the generations we want to proudly publish romance fiction that gets everybody talking.
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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2014
Copyright © Mandy Baggot 2014
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Ebook Edition © February 2014
ISBN: 9780007544059
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