by Talia Hunter
She stalked toward the camera, imagining giant wings on her back and sparks shooting from her eyes. Perhaps a fallen angel would hold some kind of weapon? If she’d been with the kids at the hospital she would have grabbed a spare IV pole and wielded it like Gandalf’s staff.
Stopping in front of the camera, she put her fists on her hips. “Until now, I’ve been playing it nice. But that vixen thinks she can flirt with my fiancé?” She glared into the lens. “Sally’s messing with the wrong woman. I have one thing to say to her.” She paused for dramatic effect, then gave her best fallen angel snarl. “Bring it, bitch.”
14
When the teams were told to line up on the beach, Jake thought they were going to be given another challenge. But Timmy was nowhere in sight, and Bozier was drinking coffee while he spoke to the crew.
“Okay, people, listen up.” Facing them on the beach was Penelope, the pretty assistant who’d tried to flirt with Jake when he’d first arrived. “Bozier needs you all to have a session with the psychologist this morning.” She pointed at Jake and Carin. “You two will go first. When all the teams are done, we’ll reassemble to start today’s challenge.”
The other couples groaned. They’d obviously done this before. Jake exchanged a confused glance with Carin. “What’s this for?” he asked.
“We need to keep checking you’re okay mentally, and you’re not going to up and leave like the couples who couldn’t handle it here,” Penelope explained. “Come with me.”
She led them off the beach and down the path that crossed the island. Back to Lantana Resort.
“I thought we weren’t supposed to leave the beach,” said Jake.
“This isn’t part of the show.” Penelope shot him a glance over her shoulder. “Regular psyche evaluations are an insurance requirement. Bozier wants the evaluations done more often now we’re nearing the end of the show. He doesn’t want any more surprises.”
“What if Jake fails the sanity test?” Carin widened her eyes. “Is there a containment facility on the island? You know, in case he poses a danger to himself or others?”
Jake grinned. They’d watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest on one of their regular movie nights a few months ago. And the fact she was joking about it meant she wasn’t still angry that he gave away his breakfast.
“You’d better not show Nurse Ratched any of that cheek, or she’ll wire you up to the mains,” he told Carin.
“And you’ll be first in line for a lobotomy.”
“There’s no test,” Penelope cut in earnestly. “I’m not sure who the nurse you’re talking about is, or what she told you, but the psychologist’s name is Doctor Jones, and she doesn’t do surgical procedures.”
“Well, that’s reassuring,” Jake managed. He could sense that Carin was trying just as hard as he was to keep from laughing, but he was careful not to look at her. If he met her gaze, they’d both lose it.
This was the way he always wanted things to be between him and Carin. Private jokes and poking fun. The easy banter of a close friendship, where one shared look could say a whole lot more than having an entire conversation with someone else. He valued their closeness too much to risk it.
“Here we are,” said Penelope as they approached one of the resort’s bures. “Doctor Jones will be expecting you.” She checked her watch. “The session should last about half an hour. When you’ve finished, she’ll call someone to escort you back to the beach.”
“Got it,” said Jake, holding the door open for Carin to go in.
Doctor Jones was sitting in the bure’s living room. She rose to greet them, then motioned them to sit on the couch opposite her.
“So,” she said when they were settled. “How are you two doing since you arrived?”
Jake exchanged a glance with Carin. “Fine,” they both said at the same time.
The doctor gave them what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile. “I know you haven’t been here for long, so I don’t expect you to be experiencing the full effect of such a big change from your normal lives. Still, if there’s anything troubling you, this is a safe place to bring it up.”
Jake shook his head, but unexpectedly, Carin spoke up. “I miss the kids at the hospital,” she said. “I worry about them when I’m not there. They look forward to my visits, and a lot of them don’t have that much to look forward to, you know?”
The doctor nodded, writing something on her notepad. “That’s understandable. What about you, Jake?”
Jake folded his arms. His only real problem was fighting his feelings for Carin, and he wasn’t about to announce it.
“Nothing?” she asked. “Neither of you have anything else you want to talk about?” She glanced at her watch, then stood.
Jake stood too, but when she picked up a chair with a wooden back and brought it into the center of the room, he realized the session wasn’t over.
“We have half an hour allotted, so let’s try some exercises, shall we?” said Doctor Jones. She moved another chair in front of the first so they were facing each other. “You two sit down here.”
When Carin and Jake sat on the chairs, their knees were almost touching. Carin was wearing shorts, and he couldn’t help staring at her long, brown legs. It was an effort to drag his gaze back up to her eyes, and when he did, it wasn’t much better. Sitting so close, staring into Carin’s warm eyes and at her plump tempting lips… if the psychologist were trying to drive him crazy, she was going about it the right way.
“Now,” said Doctor Jones. “I want you to tell the other person one thing that annoys you about their actions. Jake, you go first.”
Jake frowned. What weird exercise was this? “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” repeated the doctor. “Come on. Think about it. What one thing would you change if you could?”
“At movie night, she hogs all the popcorn.”
Carin’s mouth twitched. It was a private joke between them. For the last few years she’d insisted on having her own bowl of popcorn, complaining he ate faster than she did and left her with the unpopped kernels. A fact he always denied.
“Okay.” It obviously wasn’t the kind of answer the doctor had wanted, but she went with it anyway. “And how does it make you feel when Carin eats all the popcorn?”
“Hungry.”
Carin’s eyes danced. Her lips were pressed together to keep in a laugh. Jake struggled to keep his own face straight, but it was hard when the doctor took them so damn seriously.
“Now you, Carin,” said Doctor Jones. “What does Jake do that annoys you?”
Suddenly, Carin wasn’t laughing anymore. “He shuts himself off from me.”
Jake blinked, taken aback. She’d said it like she really meant it, and she hadn’t even needed to think about it.
“And how does that make you feel, Carin?” asked the doctor.
“Frightened.”
“Why?”
Carin bit her lip. “I don’t know. It just triggers something. I get worried that he’s drifting away from me.” Her cheeks went a little pink. “I know we’ll always be best friends— I mean, that he’s my fiancé. But it’s an instinctive thing that I can’t seem to control. Feeling that way, I mean. Feeling scared.”
“Jake, what do you think you can do to make sure Carin doesn’t get frightened?”
Jake realized he was gaping at Carin and got himself back under control. “You don’t get frightened enough to…?” He hesitated, not wanting to bring up Carin’s panic attacks in front of the doctor. But she understood what he was asking.
“Different scared,” she said. “Not that awful anxiety that spirals out of control.”
He let out his breath. How ironic would it be if the very thing he did to keep her safe triggered a panic attack?
“You get anxious, Carin?” asked the doctor. “We should talk about that.”
“No,” said Carin. “Let’s not. That’s all I wanted to say about it.”
Doctor Jones turned to Jake. “How d
o you think you can keep from frightening her?”
Difficult question. If he didn’t shut himself off, she might figure out how he really felt, and that wouldn’t help either of them. “She knows I’m not going to drift away from her.”
“You could try to be more open,” said Doctor Jones. “Why do you think you shut yourself off?”
Jake shifted in his seat. “Is this necessary? What does it have to do with the show?”
“See?” demanded Carin. “You’re doing it now.”
“She’s right. You’re not showing any emotion, Jake. Can you share what you’re feeling?”
He let out a long, frustrated breath. “I’m feeling that I’ve had enough of this line of questioning.” His voice came out as a growl. “Let’s move on.”
The doctor hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. Then let’s do the same exercise, but this time you get to say something you admire about each other. Carin, do you want to start?”
“Let’s see.” Carin looked up at the ceiling. “There are lots of things. Jake’s always—.”
“Tell Jake,” interrupted the doctor. “Talk to him, rather than me.”
“Okay. Well, Jake. I like that I can rely on you. You pick me up from the hospital if I need a lift, and cheer me up if I’m feeling low. I love how you listen to me talk about my boring job. I mean, you really listen instead of zoning out. And you bring wine over to my place, as well as beer.” She lifted both hands in a helpless gesture, smiling apologetically at Doctor Jones. “I could go on all day.”
Jake groaned. “Please don’t.” Their relationship was private. He didn’t want to dissect it in front of the doctor.
“Your turn now, Jake.” The doctor’s gaze was piercing.
He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing he was anywhere but here. When he opened them, both women were still watching him expectantly. Funny, he’d never found it difficult to compliment Carin before. But he’d never been questioned by a professional. What if she saw through his mask?
“You’re incredible with the kids at the hospital,” he said after a minute. “Even after a long shift when you’re already exhausted, you never skip your story-telling sessions.” The tightness in his chest eased when she smiled. Was there anything more addictive than being able to make her eyes light up? “And the costumes you make are works of art,” he added. “The kids love them.”
Not just the kids. She had no idea how hot she looked in her princess costume, complete with long gloves and a tiara. Once she’d played Wonder Woman, and those tight shorts and tube top had tortured his dreams for weeks afterward.
“I have as much fun as the kids do. It’s the best part of my day.” She glanced at the doctor. “But I’ve just remembered something else about Jake that I love. Am I allowed one more?” Without waiting for approval, she went on. “You’ve always been the person who makes me feel good about myself.” Her eyes glistened. “The reason I never usually say stuff like this is because I know you hate it when I get emotional. But when my parents told me I wasn’t good enough, your voice was the one that could drown them out. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d never have had the confidence to get into acting.”
Jake’s jaw tightened at the mention of her parents. Carin was too strong to let them cow her, and would have found her own path with or without him. But he was glad he’d helped. If he wasn’t so certain it would only make things worse, he’d have taken her parents to task a long time ago.
The doctor sat forward. “What I’m hearing, Carin, is that you have a difficult relationship with your parents. Would that be right?”
“I’m not using it as an excuse for anything. Lots of people’s parents are difficult.” She shot a glance at Jake, and he could tell she was thinking about his father’s numerous affairs.
“Very good, Carin,” said the doctor. “Many people in your position might not be able to move on like you have. But you and Jake have a successful, loving relationship.”
Carin nodded. “It means a lot.”
Their friendship was important to Jake, too. All these years he’d tried to de-complicate it by hiding his real feelings, but he hadn’t realized he was hurting her each time he pulled away. So what was the answer?
If he could slice out the part of him that loved her so much, it would make things a hell of a lot easier.
“Time’s almost up,” said the doctor. “Soon you can head back to the beach and get ready for today’s challenge. But before you do, I have one last question to ask.” She looked from Jake to Carin and back again. “When you consider what the other person means to you, I want you to recall one event that springs into your head. Now, there’s no need to overthink this.” She nodded at Carin. “Tell Jake about the first memory that comes to mind when you think about your past together.”
“Okay. Well, it’s probably when you took me to hospital that first time, remember?”
“I remember.” An understatement. Every moment had been etched into his brain forever.
“I was terrified, and furious at you. I didn’t want you to hold my hand, but you did anyway, and I hated that it made me feel better. You even made me laugh, remember? You cracked a joke about the doctor with the weird name. And I was angry with myself for laughing. And then I was amazed I could laugh. And if I could laugh, maybe I wasn’t dying.”
“What were you so angry about, Carin?” asked the doctor.
Jake felt every muscle in his body contract. There was no way he wanted to drag up the way he’d betrayed Carin with Marianne Marple all those years ago. He hadn’t thought twice when Marianne had flashed him an inviting smile and beckoned him closer. He’d been a dick on legs back then, nothing more. And he couldn’t blame his cheating father for his mistakes, or anyone but himself.
It wasn’t until he’d heard Carin’s shocked gasp that he’d realized the implications of giving in to temptation. No, even then, he’d had no real idea of how badly his thoughtless act had hurt her. Full realization didn’t come until after he’d seen her white-faced and in tears, clutching her chest as she’d struggled to breathe. The pure, cold terror that had contracted his heart then was something he’d never forget.
He thought he’d killed her. It was easily, hands down, the worst day of his life.
“It doesn’t matter now,” said Carin. “But as angry as I was, I knew I still needed your friendship. That’s the moment I think about.”
Jake let out a long breath. At least she wasn’t going to share the whole shameful story with the doctor. But he still felt like shit.
“What about you, Jake?” asked Doctor Jones. “Which memory comes to mind when you think about Carin.”
Jake swallowed. His private memories of Carin were just that. Private. At least this was the last question he’d have to suffer through, so to get it over with, he’d relate a safe story, one from before he fell in love with Carin. Or at least, from before his childish infatuation turned into something more serious.
“The day we met,” he said. “Your family had just moved in across the road. I was curious, watching the movers unload everything, but I couldn’t see who was moving in. Not until the next day, when I saw a girl with her head out of one of the upstairs windows.” He frowned at Carin. “I went over for a closer look, and you yelled out to me, saying you were being held against your will. That kidnappers had locked you in, and you needed to escape to find your real parents.”
Carin grinned. “You took my captured princess fantasy a little too seriously. Next thing I knew, you were on the roof, trying to talk me into climbing up there too.”
“On the roof?” asked the doctor.
Jake shrugged. “The big oak tree had splayed branches that made it easy to climb, then it was an easy jump to the roof. I thought it would be a good escape route, but it turned out that getting off the roof was trickier than I’d expected.”
“I was sure you’d fall. But you made it down onto that sliver of a ledge, then into my window.”
“Your room wasn’t locked.”
Jake put on a stern tone, as though telling off that long-ago child. “And when you told me your loyal subjects were waiting to restore you to your rightful place on the throne, I started to realize your kidnap story might not be a hundred percent true.”
What he didn’t say was that he’d been enchanted with her from the start. She’d been wearing a long gown that was obviously an adult’s costume and way too big for her. But if you’d asked him what a real princess looked like, he would have blathered something about dark freckles, brown eyes, and strawberry-blonde curls. If he’d happened to keep a white horse stabled in their suburban cul-de-sac, he’d have happily swept her onto it and gone charging away.
Come to think of it, not much had changed.
Doctor Jones cleared her throat. “It’s obvious you two have a close relationship.” She flicked a glance at Jake. “If you practice staying open with each other, and try not to hide what you feel, I think you’ll have a long and happy marriage.’
“Thanks,” said Carin, smiling like they’d aced a test.
Jake stood up and headed for the door. Some doctor. She had no idea what she was talking about. And she didn’t have the first clue about the shit-storm raging inside his head.
15
“This island is called Monuriki.” Timmy swept his arm around the small beach where the speedboat deposited them later that morning. “If it looks familiar, that’s because it’s where the movie Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was shot.”
Startled, Jake glanced at Carin and saw her whistle silently. They’d watched the film together a year or so ago — one of their random movie-night selections picked from classics that neither of them had seen. He’d never have guessed the island from the movie was in Fiji, so close to Lantana. But it was picturesque enough. The sand was very white and the water a stunning shade of aqua.
