by K. S. Martin
“There she is, oh sweetie are you okay?” My mother was fussing and wiping my face with a cool cloth.
“Mich? Are you okay?” I put my hand on his cheek. His arms tightened around me. He sat me up but still held me on his lap. I leaned my head into the crook of his neck where it met his shoulder.
“I’m okay.” I whispered.
“Let’s give them some room everyone, Michelle needs a minute. Bring your pie into the living room.” John Flanagan boomed. I was grateful for the gesture. Jamie’s hand was cradling my head. I looked at the blue velvet box resting on the table. It was closed now and I couldn’t see the ring. His chin rested against my forehead.
“Mich?” I looked up at him now. “Was that no?” I shook my head and tipped my face up to kiss his mouth softly. I reached for the box on the table. He beat me to it. “Eh.” He said sharply, scolding me. “I’m not saying all that stuff again. I’ll just say this, Mich will you be my bride?” He opened the box and took the ring out. I nodded. He held it in front of me. It wasn’t a busy ring like some that I had seen. It was a platinum mount with a princess cut blue white diamond setting. It sparkled like nothing I had ever seen before. I let him push it onto my shaking finger. I put my arms around Jamie’s neck squeezing as hard as I could and I kissed him just as hard. “Do you like the ring Mich? It belonged to my great grandmother, and if you want to pick your own out at a jewelry store, we can go right now.”
“I love it Jamie, its beyond beautiful.” I turned my hand back and forth under the light hanging over the kitchen table and watched the colored reflections bounce around on the wall and ceiling.
“Well then there little gal, it’s seems you’ll finally be a Flanagan on paper and all official like. All I can say is that it is about damned time.” John Flanagan’s voice boomed off the walls in the kitchen as the parents rushed into the kitchen. He wrapped his big arms around me in a bear hug lifting me from Jamie’s lap and swung me around until my feet flared out. He looked like an older version of Jamie.
“Easy John, you’ll break her in half.” Mrs. Flanagan scolded him. She hugged me next and welcomed me to the family. My mother and father hugged and congratulated me and Jamie when the Flanagan’s finally released me.
“So when is the big day?” John asked grinning.
“We’ll let you know Dad.” Jamie put his arm around my shoulders. “We’ve got to head back, lots of plans to make you know.” They were all nodding. Jamie tucked leftovers safely in the back seat of the SUV then got behind the wheel. I turned in the seat and pulled my hoodie around me tightly. “Tired?” I shook my head. “Why did you faint Mich? When I asked you to marry me, why would you faint?” He glanced at me pulling out into traffic.
“I don’t know. It was too much you know? It wasn’t what I was expecting and I guess I was just overwhelmed. You were talking and not saying what I thought that I should be hearing then everything got swimmy and I was out for the count.”
“You scared the shit out of your Mom. Hell, you scared me. I caught you before you fell though.” He grinned.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I apologized. His brows furrowed.
“You don’t have to apologize. I know you couldn’t help it.” He pulled into my parking space awhile later and cut the engine. “Help me carry all that stuff?” He jerked a thumb at the back seat. I nodded. His cell phone rang then and he answered it. “Mom?” He tucked it into his neck, got one of the foil covered dishes and walked toward the elevator. I got the other two, locked and shut the doors. I followed him, hurrying along when the elevator dinged. A young couple got off and I stepped out of their way. Jamie was listening. “Mom! Stop Mom. She isn’t pregnant.” I smiled. “Mom, I swear.” I leaned against the wall grinning at the ceiling. I got off at our floor walking to his door and unlocking it. I continued down the hall to my own door and went inside. I put the leftovers in the fridge and took my jacket off. My head was so full that I knew that even as tired as I was I needed to run. My body craved it. I pulled the clothes that I’d borrowed off and put on my running clothes and shoes. I grabbed my IPod and took the stairs to the basement since they are a great warm up to a run.
No one was in the exercise room when I got there and I stuck my ear phones in my ears. Fast paced music always helped me run better. I scrolled to the running playlist and put the IPod in the arm band I wore. Eminem followed Nicki Minaj then Jason Mraz and Maroon 5. I was hitting the six mile mark when Jamie came in looking relieved. I hopped off and pulled the buds from my ears. “What’s wrong?” I grabbed my water and downed half of it. I stretched my legs waiting for him to answer.
“Why don’t you answer your fucking phone Mich?” My head snapped up from where I was looking. He was pissed. Jamie never used that word. I gave myself a pat down not finding it. He wrapped me in his arms. “Don’t do that again.” He breathed into my hair. I wriggled away.
“Stop, I’m hot and sweaty.” I bent over and grabbed my calves. I went to the weight machine. My settings hadn’t been changed since I was here the other day. I sat on the bench and grabbed the bar and worked my arms and shoulders. Jamie was looking at me strangely, and I didn’t like it. “What?” I asked with a tone that said he was being stupid. I pulled the bar down in front of me until it touched my thighs. He sighed heavily and left without another word. I was nearly finished with the weights when he came back.
“Are you coming up or what?” It wasn’t really a question and I didn’t like his tone but I nodded and followed him. He headed for the elevator and I took the stairs. He was waiting for me, hands on hips when I finally got there. “What is your problem Mich?” I looked at him with eyes that I was sure looked like a deer in headlights.
“What do you mean?” I asked stupidly. I went into my apartment and pulled my clothes off as I went. By the time that I got to my bedroom I was naked. I pulled fresh underwear and a tee shirt out of the drawer and went back to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth while the water heated up.
“Mich? Are you mad at me?” He leaned against the doorframe. I shook my head still brushing. “Why are you avoiding me? It’s like ever since I asked you’ve been different.” He watched my face in the mirror. I spit and rinsed. I leaned on the vanity and closed my eyes. I needed time to process all of it. He’d sprung this on me. The run helped to clear my exhausted mind but I still had not processed it through. I took three deep breaths and opened my eyes. He was gone. I walked through the apartment and didn’t see him anywhere. I showered quickly and put my pajamas on. I expected to find him in my bed when I finished, but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It was nearing eleven and I needed to get some sleep. I went to find my phone so that I could charge it. I turned it on and found six messages from my mother, four texts from Jamie looking for me, one from his mother congratulating me, and one from Hannah checking on me. I erased them all and plugged in the phone. I could hear him banging around next door. He really was angry. I swallowed, hard, and turned all of the lights off. I grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and pulled them on. I took my keys and went next door to take my medicine, I owed him an explanation. It wasn’t fair to be reticent after everything that happened today. I let myself in and locked the door behind me. He was sitting up in his bed in the dark with his back against the headboard and his arms wrapped around his knees. It was dark but there was light coming from the street light outside. I could tell even in the dark that he was really upset and I felt incredibly guilty.
“Jamie?” I stood at the side of the bed, he wouldn’t look at me. “I’m sorry.” I took a step closer to the bed. He still looked at the wall opposite of where he sat, his eyes boring holes into it. It had been a long time since Jamie sulked, he didn’t do it often, but it was tremendously painful when he did. His jaw set and the muscles flexed there. Even angry, that was sexy as hell. I sat on the edge of the mattress and reached for his hand. He jerked away and crossed his arms across that beautiful yummy chest. I inhaled sharply and let it out slowly. “It… I
…” I chewed on my bottom lip and tasted blood. “Shit.” I exhaled the word. He was watching me when I looked up at him again. His eyes were flint gray and flat, angry. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you going to break up with me?” His tone was flat and held no emotion. I was suddenly scared and shook my head. “It feels like you are Mich. You are emotionally distancing yourself and I don’t like it.”
“God, no Jamie. I love you.” I reached for him again. He let me touch him this time. “It was just too much all of the sudden. I need to clear my head. Since Friday it seems like,” I paused not sure how to say what I wanted to say without sounding selfish. He took my hand now and squeezed. He still looked apprehensive.
“Just say it Mich, whatever it is, just get it out there so we can move past this.” He tried to sound encouraging.
“It’s like I can’t breathe. It’s like every time I turn around you’re there, you’re in my face and in my everything else too. It’s moving really fast. We’ve been in a holding pattern for twenty years and now bam, blast off! I just need time and space. I need to process this. It’s a lot all of the sudden Jamie.” Tears were welling in my eyes. I hated to cry, because I’m so ugly when I cry. “I have been emotionally distancing myself for years. Don’t look. Don’t let him see you stare. Don’t let him see the want, the desire. Now boom today turn all that off, and do it, he’s yours. It’s a hell of a turnaround Jamie. I feel like I’m on a tilt a whirl and you know how I hate that thing.” He grinned probably remembering how he forced me on it with him when we were younger at a carnival. He’d pulled me on right after he fed me funnel cake. Needless to say, not a good combo, I held onto the nausea for as long as I could but as soon as the ride stopped, I’d bolted off and lost everything in my stomach. He thought it was hilarious.
“So you’ve finally had enough of me then huh?” I looked up from the spot the floor that I had been studying and he was smiling at me.
“You’re an ass. What are you grinning at? I’m having this emotional breakdown and you’re grinning?” I swatted at him.
“If you need alone time Mich, just say so. If you need to run, just say so. Just don’t run off and not tell me where you are. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if you had answered a call or left a note. Your Mom was blowing my phone up, my mother is crying about babies out of wedlock and I couldn’t find you. I looked in the garage to see if you took off, you weren’t in your apartment or on the balcony and I just panicked. Then when I finally found you, you were oblivious to…”
“I’m sorry. But J, think about it, I never tell you that I’m going to run not since you quit. It’s like all of the sudden since Friday morning that you need to know about every breath I take. I’m sorry that I was oblivious of your feelings and I’m sorry that you worried and that my Mom called you and wigged out.” He made a face.
“I guess I will have to get used to talking to her. I’ll try to give you some air, but Mich since Friday I can’t get enough of you. It’s like when you’re dying of thirst in the desert and you finally find water, you have to keep swallowing until you get sick, you know? I guess I’ve been thirsty for a long time and I need to get sick to slow down to normal.” He laughed but I didn’t even though the analogy was perfect. “I understand. I know we are together just about every day but we’re not stuck like glue. We do have time apart usually, I’m sorry you felt smothered.”
“Thanks.” He seemed better now, but I still felt like I needed distance. He held his arms out and I went to him in spite of my whirling feelings. He pulled me down on his bed and held me. He didn’t say anything else and before long he was asleep. I watched the clock. I never slept well in Jamie’s bed. It was like too much of a good thing. He was everywhere, his body wrapped around mine and his smell was everywhere. At one time I would have enjoyed every second of this and I would have watched the clock all night just to be near him but right now I just needed space. I lifted his arm from around me and pulled the sheet off. I crept out of the bed and went back to my own apartment. I fell asleep instantly. My bed was just better and if we were going to sleep together it would have to be here.
I woke to the smell of sausage, peppers, onions and coffee. It smelled like heaven. I loved it when Jamie cooked my breakfast. He was a better cook than me. His kitchen area was always neat. He cleaned as he went but the meal did not suffer for it. I followed my nose to the most appetizing omelet that he was sprinkling with cheese. He was still in his pajama bottoms, chili peppers today. I leaned around him to look into the frying pan. “Hey you.” He hugged me. “Did you sleep well?” I nodded and grabbed a pepper out of the pan. “Stop, it’s not done yet.” I kissed his backbone and squeezed him. He made a noise of appreciation.
My omelet was waiting when I returned from the bathroom. Jamie was sipping orange juice and reading the paper. I leaned over to look at the hockey scores. “Did we win?” He shook his head. “That sucks.” I said.
“We didn’t play. We play Buffalo today at one. Do you want to go to Ryan’s?” I perked up at this. Finally, something that was normal for us. I nodded. “Do you want to grab lunch first?”
“Let’s eat at Ryan’s.” He nodded and went back to the sports section. I finished my breakfast and sipped my coffee. After putting the dishes away and wiping the counter. He finished his coffee and rinsed the cup. He seemed to be lingering. Jamie was normally very quick to finish a job and move on. Today something was different. I glanced at the clock. “Jamie?” He looked at me expectantly, eagerly. I knew what was on his mind and decided quickly that it was on mine as well. “Would you like to join me in the shower?” I kept my eyes down shyly playing what my mother would call coy. Jamie was dragging me off the stool before I could blink. “Wait, I’m not done with my coffee.” I tried to pull away from him. Taking the cup from my hands Jamie pulled me along to the bedroom pulling at the drawstring on the front of his pants. By the time we got there the chili peppers were pooled at his feet. “Jamie! Where are your underpants?” I covered my eyes giggling. He reached out and stole mine.
“It looks like you don’t have any either. That’s very convenient.” He tugged my tee shirt over my head. “Oops, looks like we’re both naked. “What shall we do?” Jamie nibbled my neck and shoulder sending goose bumps over my flesh and shivers up my spine. “Oh you like that.” He nibbled down my arm until he reached my finger tips. Sucking my first finger into his mouth and letting his tongue swirl around the tip made my knees buckle. Jamie scooped me up and put me gently down on the bed. I expected him to jump between my thighs. He didn’t. After sucking each of my fingertips into his mouth and tasting them, Jamie kissed my hip. He worked his way down my thigh to the inside of my knee. His tongue pressed and tasted me. My mouth was dry and my heart was pounding as pleasure swirled around and around in my center. I tried to sit up but his free hand held me down. His lips gathered a bit of skin on the top of my foot. I jerked my foot away from him because it tickled so much that I couldn’t stand it. His strong hand captured my foot easily and pulled it back to his mouth. Morning sunlight shone through the blinds lighting his skin to seem more golden that he normally was. He lifted my foot and pressed an open mouthed kiss to my instep. I tried to pull away but he shot me a look that meant he was serious. Jamie sank his teeth into the ball of my foot. I gasped and stilled. Electricity shot up my leg straight into my womb. I needed him, wanted him. He had both of my feet now and rolled me easily onto my belly. I felt the bed dip under his weight. He kissed the back of my knee and thigh biting me lightly there. I moaned and pleaded but he would not stop the slow torturous nipping, kissing, sucking, and mouthing. “Do you want me?” His voice was rough and gravely with want.
“Oh God.” I moaned. He softly bit the tender flesh of my inner thigh softly.
“That’s not an answer.” He said. I tried to roll over, but he wouldn’t let me move. His hands were hooked on my hips. His breath was warm and moist on my lower back. “Do you want me?” He asked again.
“Yes.”
I answered. I tried to push up. His chest blocked me. Jamie traced his tongue up my spine. I shivered. “Please.” I said breathlessly.
“How?” His mouth was right next to my ear now. His hot breath was on my ear teasing me. “How?” He said again. His lips vibrated there, his voice slid into my ear and sending an electric thrum across my nerves and into my core. His teeth grazed my neck. I squeezed my thighs together. I was so close to coming, if Jamie said one more word into my ear like that surely I would explode under him. I squeezed again and whimpered. His hands were over mine now, his fingers lacing with mine. His body hovered over mine, barely touching me. His knees were on the outsides of my thighs and he rested his weight on his fore arms but he barely touched me. I could feel heat coming from his skin everywhere but could not feel his skin. I could feel the heat and weight of his cock weighing on the crease of my bottom. He moved dragging it forward then back. “I want inside of you Mich. Tell me how much you want me.” The electricity and vibration of his voice on my nerves and ear were too much. Heat filled my core and pleasure swirled and ricocheted through me. Lightning seared along my nerves and my hips moved instinctively rubbing against him, my thighs squeezed again with the delicious tingling vibrating through me. My body convulsed. “No way.” He was incredulous. Jamie rolled me over and looked down into my flushed face. I couldn’t hide what had happened he already knew. “Did you? Did you just come? You didn’t! Did you?” I bit my bottom lip embarrassed by it. He kissed me then and stared down into my face, his eyes were as blue as ink. “I love you Mich.” I tried to look away but he caught my face with his hand. His thumb traced my bottom lip. “Don’t you dare be embarrassed or ashamed of what just happened.” That was beautiful. His mouth covered mine. “It’s my turn.” Jamie parted my thighs with his knee. He let his cock drop onto my clit which made me jump at little at the thrill. “Still sensitive? Good.” He dragged it between my folds letting my juices coat him. He let it rest at the well of my pussy. “Tell me how you want me Mich.” His eyes were lighter now, not so inky but still dark. I licked my lips. My breath was ragged.
