He brought the gun up and placed it against his temple, pictures tore through his consciousness, his sister shrouded by shadows, his parent’s pinned to the wall, bodies ripped apart and faces of despair. Liquid pooled again in his eyes, his body trembled and his finger inched over the trigger.
It was time, time to end all his pain. Sure it was the coward’s way out, but then maybe he was a coward. He couldn’t save Sophia after all, or his parents. His life was quickly falling apart and whatever tiny grip he still had on his own sanity was fast slipping away. One thing troubled him though, one thing above all others which made him question this most finite of decisions. What about his troops, those men and women he served with, he would be abandoning then and they would need him tomorrow he was sure of that.
“Daniel,” a voice murmured.
He peered up through the veil of tears, the room was empty and he must just be hearing things. It was probably just the detox pills. He returned his attention to the job at hand. The pistol felt weighty in his hand, as doubts crashed over him, was he really ready to give up everything, to accept that life would never get any better.
The voice came again, louder and more aggressive this time, “Daniel!”
“Whose there?” he replied angrily. He could almost taste the vitriol in his own voice. He knew in his heart that there was no one there, perhaps it had finally happened and he had truly lost his mind.
“Daniel what are you doing?” the voice enquired tenderly. The invisible spirit more familiar now, as in some way it knew him.
“What do you want?” he spluttered, tears rolled down his cheeks and doubt raked his body.
“What are you doing?”
“Leave me alone, can’t you see I’m busy,” he beamed feverishly, as he placed the barrel of the weapon harder against his temple, the cold steel dimpled his flesh.
He played out the scenario over and over again, saw himself pull the trigger, saw the murk that was to follow, he would find no white light, no heavenly choir, just an abrupt end. The question flashed in his mind, was he truly ready, had he finally reached that point of no return. Did he really have nothing left to live for now.
“You can’t,” the voice whispered, closer now and more intimate, not like a lover, like someone who loved him in a different way. “I know you’re in pain, I feel the hole within you, but this is not the answer, this is what the darkness wants, it can see you now and it wants your demise.”
“Who are you?” he beseeched, knowing in his heart that it was simply his own madness beginning to surface.
“Do you not know my voice?”
“NO!” he screamed in reply, as he got to his feet, his legs shuddered and his arms began to shake violently. The handgun still perched perilously close to his head.
“It’s me,” the voice lower now little more than a whisper. “It’s Sophia,” there was a pause, “your sister, it hasn’t been so long has it that you have forgotten my voice.”
He let the firearm slip out of his fingers and fall to the ground. His soul is overcome, after everything was this his new punishment, had he not endured enough. He was all too aware of the fatigue as it simply arched over his body, he desperately fought to keep himself awake, inside his mind he screamed and yet it was losing battle.
“Where are?” was all he was able to stammer before his legs buckled and he wilted onto the ground and his world went black.
“Sleep now my brother, the dreams will not haunt your sleep tonight. I will watch over you and keep the shade from your mind.” The disembodied voice echoed within the chamber, soft and gentle, like a mother to her child.
“But tomorrow I will not be able to protect you, I am not that strong. Tomorrow you must face the evil alone.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Pilot first class Brad “Crash down” Weaving sat in the cockpit of his mark three exodus drop ship and fumed in silence. The holo display, projected the woman’s image, he reached out and traced his fingers gently over the outlines of her features. Her smile was broad, even though her hands were up, in mock exasperation, she had never enjoyed her picture being taken. Which was something he had always liked, that she was so unaware of her own beauty, when so many people now were so vain and self-obsessed. Her hair the colour of the most perfect midday sun, while her eyes were a perfect jade, which made him think of the ocean he had swum in as a boy. Her name was Rebecca and he had never loved another person the way he had loved her.
He glanced down to his social network page and saw her messages still unread, the last one dated almost a year ago. He took in her face again and not for the first time the film played out for him. The first night they had met, when he had just graduated from the academy and she had just completed her med-school rotation. The first night they slept together, the first morning they woke up next to one another. Other sensations were awakened, the way she smelt, the feel of her lips upon his, the way her body would tingle when he stroked his fingers along the bottom of her back.
Brad was having a bad month and an even worse year. If he was a man of faith he would say that he was being punished for his sins, or perhaps it was simply karma. Whatever it was the universe was certainly enjoying kicking him squarely in the balls and the worst thing was that, he was entirely sure he didn’t deserve it.
Last night he had lost almost six months’ worth of credits, to the grease monkeys down in engineering, in what must have been a fixed game of poker. Then this morning he had overslept, and almost missed the pre-flight briefing again, which had been greeted by what can only be described as the most profane and descriptive language he had heard for some time. The general idea was that if he was late again for any meeting, he may well be taking a walk out into space through the nearest airlock without a suit on, after experiencing some less than pleasant time with a fist and a part of his anatomy that was not used to it.
He took one last look at Rebecca, her beam, her eyes, so tender and filled with a humanity that no one could fail to be touched by. Then he turned the display off. He should just delete her pictures, but a part of him still wasn’t able, a part that still loved her and maybe always would. He peered down once again at the messages, still flashing, almost daring him to open them and taunting him with the promise of a second chance. He wanted too, perhaps more than even he was willing to admit. He felt the guilt and terror again, worming their way into his stomach, causing his temperature to rise, his palms to become sweaty and suddenly he was uncomfortable.
Brad forced himself to focus, his eyes drifted languidly over the banks of computers and screens that made up the flight control station. His fingers whirled over the holographic keyboard as he completed the pre-flight checks. Then he sat back and thought about what was going to happen next, if his day had started bad, it was about to get even worse. He was going to fly out into space and dock with a ship that had gone missing two hundred years ago. He liked a good horror film, as much as anyone, but this was just too much, he wasn’t sure that you could write a better script than this. You had all the ingredients ready, a few gung-ho recon Marines, a freaky, rusty hulk that had been floating in the dark expanse of uncharted Space for a couple of centuries, all you had to do now was add in some crazy space zombies of some sort of alien that enjoyed feasting on human brains and you were set. He would definitely go and watch that.
“Crash down what the hells the matter with you?” his co-pilot Maggie “Hot Rod” Hui asked, as she stepped into the cramped cockpit. “You look like someone stole your lunch money again.”
“Hey just give me a break Hot Rod,” he replied, placing on the mask that he showed the World, always the joker, the guy that never allowed anything to get to him. “I’m just having one of those days, maybe it’s my time of the month or something?” he craned around and stared at her. For a brief instance he didn’t see just his navigator, he saw the woman, her beauty understated and natural. Lustrous black hair, framed a face, whose contours were pretty and delicate at the same time. Her light hazelnut e
yes made him think of late autumn and just before the winter snow fell.
She smiled at him, so natural, so kind, “What are you looking at, have I got something on my face?”
He struggled to cover his actions, “No, your fine,” his own grin flared, “Just thinking about some stuff.”
“Oh yeah, you got a lot on your mind have you?” As she spoke she pulled her hair back and put her helmet on, she shuddered slightly, as the neural links synched up with her own brain waves.
He caught himself wondering again and not for the first time, just why Maggie was serving with him. She was one of the finest navigators that he had ever worked with and probably one of the best in the entire Fleet Air Arm. She should have been on board one of the flagships or destroyers, plotting the dangerous faster than light jumps. Yet she was a true flyer at heart, she just loved the thrill of dropping out of the hold of a ship, hitting free fall through the blackness of space, making atmospheric burns in all corners of the universe, and basically flying by the seat of your pants.
It just wasn’t the same feeling when you were tucked up safe and sound on a fleet ship, protected by shields and enough armour plating to stop a couple of direct nuclear strikes. No the real flying happened on drop ships, which was why she was here and that was just one of the reasons that he liked her. She also just so happened to outrank him, which meant he had to salute her. Her nickname which most thought was from her love of extreme sport’s, was actually because of her tendency to get caught up in bar fights and usually win them.
“So time of the month is what you’re going with then?” she smirked.
“Yeah maybe it is, so just go easy on me.”
“Aww well I won’t even mention that you got fucked over again by those boys down in engineering,” she glanced at him mischievously. “Seriously when are you going to learn?”
Brad sighed heavily, “Goddamn it!” he exclaimed. “Does everyone fucking know?”
“Sure they do it’s a small ship and the scuttlebutt gets around quickly. What is it now like at least a couple of months’ worth of credits that you owe?”
“Yeah something like that.”
“Just when are you going to learn, they see you coming from a mile away?”
“Hey Hot Rod there’s something I have to tell you,” he said his voice taking on a serious note.
She shifted to look at him, “Yeah what’s that?”
He held up his middle finger, “Fuck you.”
“We are touchy today, that’s why I love you baby.” Maggie blew him a kiss seductively.
“Yeah you wish.”
“Crash down, I’m more woman that you could handle and we both know it.”
“Whatever, you know you couldn’t handle what I have to offer,” he grabbed hold of his crutch. “I’ve only got like one sock in here as padding as well.” he grinned like an adolescent, impressed with his own joke.
She glanced down, “Just one that would impressive, if I could actually see anything.” her smirk, greeted him again.
“Yeah well I’ve never had any complaints,” he pulled out his retro aviator sunglasses from his flight suit. “You know I love our little chats but it’s time to get into the zone,” he said as he put on his lucky charm.
“You gotta wear those again?”
He fastened his gaze on her, “Look I told you they bring me luck and trust me today were going to need all that we can get.” He took his own helmet and placed it on. The sensation always made him queasy, even after all these years, as the neural implants synched with his own synapses and linked him into the ship. For a second his breath caught in his gullet, as rows of data and readouts flashed before his eyes.
“Don’t tell me your buying all this crap as well, the whole ship is going crazy with ghost stories?” Maggie asked jokingly.
Brad closed his eyes for a moment and allowed the merger to complete and then spoke, “Come on Hot rod, it’s been missing for Two hundred goddamn years, who knows where, and now suddenly it just shows up. Haven’t you seen a horror film before?”
She leaned back and let out a languid yawn. Before she proclaimed. “Look it was probably a simple accident or something, those old ships were crazy, built on the cheap before we really knew what we were doing, it was probably a reactor meltdown or something”
“Yeah right reactor trouble,” he replied laconically, shaking his head. “My monies on some big momma space aliens,” his eyes flew to the holo-display and once again he saw Rebecca’s face. This time she wasn’t smiling, her eyes were puffy and blood shot. She’d been crying, she holds her stomach and feels for the new life. She stares at him, her heart laid bare for him to witness and he cannot answer. All he can think about is his life, his career, everything he wants to do and his own adolescent dreams. She turns to leave and he doesn’t try and stop her.
Maggie continued to check over her calculations, “That’s all bollocks and you know it, the truth is thousands of colonised world and not one trace of intelligent life let alone any big momma space aliens.”
For a minute he couldn’t reply, he feels his guts plunge, it had been almost two years and still it felt like yesterday. His great mistake, he could have blamed it on immaturity, yet it was much simpler than that, he was a coward and a failed man. He shuttered his eyes and tried to purge those thoughts from his mind. “That’s just what they want you to think,” he finally managed to say.
“Look we don’t have any time for more of your crazy conspiracy theories, Sci-corp don’t have all the evidence of aliens locked away.”
“They aren’t crazy ok,” he wrestled to put on his guise once again, the joker, the life of the party, the good guy, the liar. “I’ve seen the vids to prove it, they know all about alien intelligence but they are just covering it up. So they can control all the new tech, don’t you check out any of the links I send you?”
“No I don’t,” she pronounced curtly. “Do you realize what a nut job you sound like?”
“You’ll see when we get over to that ship and some giant green monster comes in and sucks your brain out, just don’t blame me.”
Maggie edged a gloved hand over and laid it on his arm, “Won’t you protect me,” the sarcasm thick in her voice.
He looked at her and saw Rebecca staring back at him, he turned away and coughed, “I think it should be you protecting me Hot Rod.”
Maggie beamed, “Well don’t worry baby, if any bad aliens try and get in here you just hide behind me.”
“You can count on it,” he said, as he struggled to control his growing sense of panic and fear.
Abruptly a computerised voice resonated through the cockpit, “PREPARE FOR LAUCH.” His neural link, flashed data into his synapses and he could see that all the boards were in the green. There was something else as well, at the back of his consciousness, someone was crying.
“It’s game time.” Maggie uttered as a holographic screen burst into life in front of her, “I love this part,” her fingers raced over the screen inputting the data necessary for Brad to pilot the ship. Once she was finished her eyes barred and she checked everything was correct and synched with the ship itself.
“Well I fucking hate this part,” He muttered, his tone visceral and angry. He was suddenly vexed and awkward. As he replayed the events over and over again, Rebecca had wanted to forge a life with him, but he was not ready for that, he had hated her and blamed her. She had ruined everything for him and so, he had spat on everything she had offered him and only once it was too late had he realized all that he had lost.
Brad battled to move his own mind back to the job at hand. Once again he double checked the banks of monitors and screens. The information confirmed what his implant was telling him. He opened the protective blast shield so he could see out into the yawning hangar of the battle cruiser Troy.
Two monolithic engineering robots finished fuelling the vessel, then they both picked up the ship gently, like giants cradling a baby and waddled over to the landing bay doors.
They attached the magnetic locks before shuffling away. He had always been fascinated by robots going back to childhood when he had received one for Christmas, he could still remember it, such a simple model but still a wonder to him as a child. It had been able to follow simple commands and even aid him in playing a few classic pranks. The ultimate puzzle was though, how many of them, particularly the androids that served within the fleet, could appear so human and yet still lack all of those most basic things that you would imagine make something truly sentient, or to put it more simply, whether a machine, a creature of circuits can possess a soul.
“You really are a pussy aren’t you?” Maggie enquired as she prepared to deactivate the magnetic locks and launch the drop ship out into space.
“Damn right and that’s just one of the reasons you love me,” he favoured her with a sly smile, before he keyed the coms unit in his helmet. “Control this is free bird one we are on final countdown here.”
“Roger that free bird one, this is control, the board is clear, hangar doors will open in four, three, two, one, now.” a voice crackled back over the speakers built into his helmet.
Brad watched as outside red emergency lights began to flash, then the immense airlocks drifted open, sucking all the oxygen out of the room and into the bleakness beyond.
“Prepare for launch,” he said cautiously, as he took hold of the flight stick in front of him, his neural link automatically set and calibrated the engines. He could feel the vibrations as the ship powered up beneath him.
“Were good to go, all lights are green, emergency jump coordinates keyed in.” Maggie replied as her eyes continued to scan the computer screens that surrounded her.
“Roger that,” he answered, as he keyed the ships internal broadcasting system so he could talk to the marines in the hold, they were his cargo and his responsibility. It was time for another of his performances, his deceits. “Good morning ladies and gentleman and welcome to our flight, if you will notice our fasten seat belt light is now on, so if you could all take your seats. All of us here at the Fleet. Air. Arm hope you enjoy today’s flight, outside the temperature is pretty fucking cold and if you do have any queries please feel free to use the emergency exit. Please enjoy the inflight movie, complimentary peanuts and as always thank you for choosing to fly with the fleet.” He hesitated, “Good luck out there.”
The First Dawn (The Sci-Corp War Saga Book 1) Page 7
