“You have no right to say his name. Nobody does! You don't know me, you don't know us. Don't pretend like you really care, you just want us around because you're bored and lonely.”
“Jill, don't say that! I do care.”
“Why? Why do you care so much? Is it just because it's some ego boost for you to have people like us coming in. I heard the stories about you, about how you have different desires to everyone else.” The immediate emotions that seized her were a mixture of anger and grief, and they were so overwhelming it was as though she was a different person and gave voice to things that she otherwise would never have said. But as the words left her mouth Brandon's lips pursed and his eyes flashed with frustration. He spoke in a low voice.
“I built this town so that people could be free to pursue their desires as long as they weren't hurting anyone else, and I thought that I'd be getting a lot of like-minded people. But all I get are the same old narrow minded people who are quick to judge me and condemn me and they don't understand my frustrations. They don't know what it's like to be alone in this world. You do.”
With that he stormed out of the kitchen and Jill was alone, regretting her outburst of anger. Ever since Lucas had died she had been on edge all of the time with no way to predict how she was going to react to any situations, but when she was with Brandon she actually felt normal again, although now she wondered if she had completely ruined that friendship while it was just about to blossom. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, then she got back to cooking.
Dinner was a tense affair. There had been a time when, before every meal, they had said grace, but that had been a tradition that didn't seem appropriate any longer. Jim, unaware of what had transpired in the kitchen earlier, tried his best to make conversation but it was to no avail. Jill mostly looked down at her plate while Brandon was surly, and the meal continued in silence. After dinner, Jill and Jim cleared up, feeling as though they should do some chores to make up for the offer of a roof over their head, and just for everything that Brandon had done for them. Brandon said that he was going into town to clear his head, which both of them knew was a code for drinking.
“What got into you two? Did you have an argument or something?” Jim asked.
“It's nothing,” Jill said, then sighed and turned towards him. “It's good to be alone with you again.” She reached out and took his hand, and smiled at him. He smiled too and bowed his head, then stepped towards her and kissed her lovingly on her forehead.
“It feels like it's been too long since we've properly been alone together. I wanted to apologize for the way I was through the desert. I tried to push everything away, including you, but I know that I shouldn't.”
“It's fine. I understand why you did it. I understand it more now than I did then...”
“Brandon gave me this. He said you didn't want it,” Jim said, showing Jill the photograph of the two of them and Lucas. Upon seeing it Jill flinched and turned her eyes away.
“Don't show me that. I don't ever want to see that again,” she said, choking back tears.
“He was our son!” Jim yelled, grabbing Jill's shoulders and turning her to face him, thrusting the picture into her hands. “You can't just forget him.”
“Forget him? You think I'm trying to forget him?! I see him every time I close my eyes. I can still hear him calling to me. Sometimes I even look down expecting to see him there. We failed him Jim, we failed him, and sometimes I don't know why we deserved to live and he died.”
“Deserve has got nothing to do with it. Nobody deserves anything in this world. All I know is that we're here and we're still together and we have to try and make something of a life for ourselves. But we can't push away what's happened. We have to accept it.”
“I don't know that I can,” she said, burying her head into his chest. His arms fell around her and he held her tightly.
“Maybe we can with Brandon's help. He seems to have things sorted out. I was talking with him earlier and he's a very perceptive individual. I think we could really make a go of things here, with his help.” But at that Jill scoffed. Jim looked down at her with a puzzled look on his face.
“Brandon, he's not what you think he is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just what some people were saying in town. I don't know if he's really the type of person that we want to be dealing with.”
“What were they saying?”
“Just that he's not into the same things that we are. I don't know, I just think he may not be as genuine as we think.”
“Why are you letting other people make your decisions for you? I never thought that you'd be making that mistake given everything we've been through. Didn't people say the same things about us? That we shouldn't have been together. They were wrong. So far Brandon hasn't done anything to make me doubt him and I don't think we should repay his kindness with suspicion. Just be patient and accept this new life we've been given, and maybe we can even start to get close to each other again.” His hand lingered against her back but even as they vowed to give it a try they both harbored secret desires that they kept from each other, and both concerned Brandon. They were both drawn to the rugged billionaire in different ways, and after being married and devoted to each other for so long they were afraid to share these feelings, but they were there all the same.
The married couple spent a little more time together talking and enjoying each others' company. Jim's body was still sore but he endured the pain to embrace Jill and hold her close to him. They reminisced about all the times they had sneaked away to be with each other when they had been younger, and as they did so laughter entered their hearts for the first time in an eternity. Being away from Red Rock, and the isolated desert reminded them of the love they had shared before Lucas came along, and offered hope that life after him wouldn't be as bleak as they first thought. Yet every kiss they shared was marred with sadness, every touch tarnished with the memory of what they had lost, and although they tried to lose themselves to the heat of romance that still existed between them it was difficult, and both of them realized it.
“Is it always going to be like this?” she asked softly, pressing her forehead against his.
“Perhaps we only need to give it time. The wounds are still recent, but as long as we have each other we'll be alright.”
“I'm just worried that without Lucas we'll be missing something that it'll feel like we should be more. We were three and now we're only two again...somehow it doesn't seem like it's going to be enough.” Jim held her close to him and kissed her again, then, for a while, they remained sitting there together in the silence, trying to enjoy each other’s company but the silence was stifling and it did feel like they were incomplete with just the two of them. In an effort to try and reacquaint themselves with each other Jill pulled Jim up and drew a bath. When it was filled with water she and Jim stripped each other of their clothes, exposing the skin they knew so well. She gasped as she saw the dark bruises on him, and gently pressed her warm fingers against them.
“You must be in so much pain,” she said. Jim shrugged.
“It's getting better all the time.”
They stood close to each other, hugging each other tightly as man and wife, as two people who had been in love from the very first moments their eyes had met, as a couple who wanted to hold onto the last shred of hope they had even when everything else they had built had been taken away from them. They kissed again, long and deep this time. Jim's hands ran down the sides of her body and Jill responded with some soft moans, her breath washing over her full lips. Her breasts pressed against Jim's body and suddenly the pain didn't seem so important for him as they melted together and, for a fleeting moment, were taken back to the first bloom of their youth when they had explored desire for the first time, and had known the pleasures that came hand in hand with it.
Steam from the water rose around them. Her hand traveled down the middle of his body and rested slightly above his erection,
teasing him with the promise of what was to come. His strong hands squeezed her arms and she felt the pleasure of submission coursing through her. Licking her lips, she rolled the lower one under her teeth and tilted her head down so that she could look up at him coyly before she pushed him back, directing him to the bath. He stepped back and raised his leg, dipping it into the water. It was just hot enough to bite at his skin. She kissed him again and placed her hands on his shoulders, gesturing for him to sink into the water. She kissed him on the cheek and left him for a moment going to shut the door in case Brandon returned while they were in the middle of their intimacy. Yet just as she was about to close it completely she remembered how he had watched her before, and something about the idea of him watching the two of them in the bath heightened the sensations running through her body, so she ended up leaving the door ajar, and returned to the bath.
She knelt on the floor and ran her hands along Jim's chest, letting her fingers dart down the wet chest hair as she buried herself in his neck and kissed him, and whispered sweet nothings into his ears. It was difficult to forget the sadness they had endured but there was something pleasing about being able to take joy in each other’s bodies again. She felt his flesh and how the water lapped against it, and dove down where the water was warmer and his flesh was harder and there was his gasp. His body writhed as she took his erection in her hand and began to stroke it slowly, running her fingers up and down the long shaft, holding it up so that the tip peeked out of the water, and the change in temperature made the sensations more intense. Playing with him, loud murmurs and moans emerged from his throat and Jill was pleased to see him happy once again, to make him feel like a powerful, strong man because it in turn made her feel like a sensual, strong woman who still possessed an alluring desire that would not be lost among the sadness and heartache. She focused on the desire of the moment, on the heat of the sexual activity and shed the misery that had shackled her. They had come close to death and now it was time to seize life.
While she massaged every inch of his body Jim let the warm water soak into his skin and to relax him. He closed his eyes and let the feelings of his wife's hands overwhelm him. His arms languidly lay against the rim of the bath, and as Jill moved around the tub he could feel her hard nipples resting against them, for she leaned in to drag her fingers along his inner thigh and make him tremble with anticipation. His entire body tensed and soon it became too much for him to bear. He grabbed her arm and used his strength to pull her body in. Jill yelped as water splashed her body and fell over the sides of the bath, soaking the floor completely wet, but soon Jim's muscular arms were around her and their bodies found each other under the water, as though they had been made to fit together. They kissed each other deeply as they swam under the water, feeling the water give way to the movements of their bodies and they lost all sense of space and time. For the first time in what seemed like forever the two of them had found each other again, had found a way to make each other happy. Erotic delight tugged at their hearts and made their skin tingle, and at one point Jill was so seized by her desire that she rose up like a goddess from the waves. Her skin glistened as the water cascaded down her curvy body and she rode Jim like a bronco, guided by the movements of his powerful, primal muscles. And in the glory of orgasmic delight her eyes opened and found Brandon's staring at her from the doorway.
For a moment she was stunned, and thought that he was going to turn away, but he stood there, watching Jim's hands rise up to grope her breasts and play with her nipples, while she brought her hands up through her hair, showing off all her curves to Brandon. The billionaire's eyes drifted across her body as though he was examining some precious jewel, and as Jill was getting fucked by Jim, Brandon's hand dropped down to his pants where he took hold of his swollen bulge and started fondling himself, which only spurred on Jill's desire. In that moment she cared not about the deviancy of the act, she merely enjoyed the attention she was getting, and loved knowing that despite everything that had happened to her she was still a sexual being who was able to turn two men on at the same time.
Her body arched back as Jim's thrusts grew more powerful and the water was pushed over the side of the bath in tidal waves. Jill's eyes clamped shut as she attempted to process the pleasure and the passion, and when she opened them again she was disappointed to see that Brandon had moved away, but then the orgasm took hold and Jim released himself in a burst of passion that shook her to her core, but even in that moment her eyes drifted towards the empty doorway and she wished that Brandon had remained standing there to see the climax.
Eight
After they dried themselves Jill excused herself and shut herself away for the evening, and Jim couldn't understand why. He tried beating on her door to get her to come and see him, and for all the progress they had made he knew there was still a long road to go. Despondent, he went downstairs where he found Brandon standing on the back porch, the one that faced away from the town towards the unknown, blank horizon that promised so much.
“Evening,” Jim said.
“No Jill tonight?” Brandon asked.
“No, I think she's still struggling with some things. It takes a lot of you, this living. I think maybe you made the right choice to remain single, it's a lot less stress.”
“I get plenty of that in other areas, you try building up a town and having it go unappreciated.”
“I don't know about that, I think folks in Silvercreek like that they have a home to live in, a place to call their own. Maybe it's just because it's the first generation. Wait until some kids are born and they don't know any place other than here. Maybe right now people are still comparing it with what they already know.”
Brandon raised his eyebrows. “There might be something in that actually, I myself have always been concerned with what's out there. Like now, I just look out at that sky and I think about all the people I'll never meet, all the things I'll never see and it makes me so sad and frustrated. It's such a big world out there and I'll only see a small part of it.”
“This is true, but then again you never know what's going to come riding along that horizon. Take us, if things had turned out differently we would never have met each other.”
“I'm not sure if that's such a good thing in the long run for you and Jill. I have a tendency to push people away, like the folks in town. At first I welcomed them with open arms but they soon turned on me, and I can't say that it's just them. It's happened everywhere I've gone, all through my life.” He sighed heavily and looked at Jim with his open eyes. “I used to be involved in politics like my father and his father before him and so on, but I could never work out how to properly talk to people, how to make them care about me and move into being friends. I see it happen all the time and yet I've never been able to master it myself.”
“Jill did mention something about how the people of the town had some low opinions of you. For what it's worth you've been nothing but a gentleman to us and I'll be forever thankful that you were the one who found us. I've been around long enough to know that there are a lot of despicable characters out there and any one of them could have found me and Jill, and God knows what they would have done.”
“Your words mean a lot to me,” Brandon said smiling as he placed his arm on Jim's shoulder, “and I'm glad to consider you a friend but in time you and Jill will be moving on as well. I'm sure you'll find a place here in Silvercreek and I'll be left up here by myself, isolated from the world again.”
“We'd never do that. We're not that kind of people,” Jim said, moving slightly closer to Brandon. There was a vulnerability surrounding the billionaire that took Jim by surprise, and was in direct contrast to the usually brash aura that he projected, but as Jim grew closer he could smell the haze of whiskey clouding the atmosphere around Brandon's head. “I can tell you right now that we like you, and we're happy to be here with you. I know that Jill can be a little set in her opinions but I know she feels the same. Just trust us, give us a chance and you won't
go wrong, I can promise you that.”
“I do trust you Jim, despite my own fears. I know that you've been through a lot and what has happened in my life can't compare but we all have our own troubles. For me it's been a case of getting close to people but always somehow missing out on real affection and intimacy. I'm actually quite jealous of the two of you. I see it in the way you two look at each other, there's a real connection there...did I say something wrong?” Jim turned his head to look at the starry horizon. The little twinkling dots hung against the clear, inky black sky and far away the moon looked down upon them all. Across the horizon the mountains of the west rose and fell. The air was dry and dusty, and while it was quiet between the two of them there were raucous noises coming from the town. Jim could sense Brandon's loneliness and found it touching how this man just wanted to be close with people, and all of a sudden he was filled with an immense dislike for the people of Silvercreek for not appreciating the man who had given them a place to live and work. They struck him as ungrateful, and he was half-tempted to stride down into town and make them appreciate Brandon properly, the way that he and Jill did.
Jim had never felt this passionately for another man before and the feelings took him by surprise. The only other person he would have gone to such lengths for was Jill, but as he looked at Brandon he realized that he had a great depth of feeling for the billionaire. Whether it was simply because the man had saved his life or because of something else Jim could not say, but the feelings were there all the same, and as the moonlight hit Brandon's face Jim knew him to be handsome and beautiful, and Jim's heart was beating a little more quickly than usual.
Game of Throbs Complete Series (Books 1-3) Page 39
