"And where, may I ask, did the pistol come from?" he inquired gently, his gaze never wavering from hers.
"Sebastian gave it to me. I hid it in my trinket box just in case," she admitted, looking down at the floor.
His expression was dangerously blank. "I see."
She stroked down his arm from shoulder to elbow. "Please don't be angry with him. I asked him to help when all those little, er, mementoes of what happened to me with Oxnard kept appearing in my room. I knew it had to be one or more of our colleagues, possibly even Oxnard himself, though he isn't the type to take that big a risk with his own skin.
"My guess was that it was either Hugo or Maggie doing it out of spite or because they were being paid to cause trouble. Or it could have been someone totally innocent just running seemingly harmless errands it for a bit of extra cash. But just to be on the safe side, well, I thought it best to be prepared."
He took her hand. "Remind me to thank him when I see him. I'm glad you trusted him enough to go to him for help. I just wish you had come to me sooner, my love, confided in me more."
She returned the pressure of his fingers with a hard squeeze of her own. "It's not that I didn't trust you, George, it's just that I didn't want to be any more of a burden than I've already been."
He assumed his most indignant expression. "You could never be a bur--"
"And the truth of the matter is, I have to actually start trusting myself more. Listening to my instincts. Many women my age are already married, with a family. I feel like a naïve little girl when it comes to the ways of the world. It's about time I grew up."
"Would to God you had stayed as naïve as you are. I want to kill Oxnard every time I think of what you suffered, what could have happened if you hadn't—" He broke off and swallowed hard. "It was a miracle you survived then. And tonight too."
"A miracle for us both. But we can't bank on being so lucky next time."
"I pray to God there won't be a next time!" he said, hugging her to him.
She rubbed his chest soothingly but said, "Our enemies aren't done with us yet. You and I both know it."
"Well, I'm done with them." He made a rude gesture for emphasis. "I've gone as far as I can with the theatre and as far as I'm willing to go with the charade of my life here on the south side of the river. Let them do their worst that this point. They've already tried to take everything I care about from me. But as long as there is breath in both our bodies, Miranda, I swear to you, I'm never going to let anything hurt you or separate us ever again, do you understand?"
She recalled Hugo's eyes when she had shot him, and shivered. "I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same. I've had self-defense lessons from Eswara, a lovely family friend from India. With my fencing and pistol lessons, well, I just want you to know that I'm not the helpless moppet you first met in the alley all those weeks ago."
"Helpless, no, but certainly a victim of people who want to abuse their power and strength."
She smiled wanly. "And yet you're no different, George, for all you've been my hero ever since we met."
He blew out a shaky sigh and gathered her close. "Sad, but true. This is hardly the brave new world the revolutionaries in America and France hoped to bring about."
"Well, as you learned in France, my love, there is always someone willing to step into a power vacuum to exploit it for their own ends. Our British politicians have proven no different, for all they talk about preserving freedom in Europe."
"Well, I'm damned if I'm going to let them run my life any more. I have you to think about now, us starting a family one day—"
She bit her lip and sighed. "Pray God I'll be able—"
He cupped her chin. "I'm a patient man. I' happy to give you all the time you need. There's no rush. And even if things don't turn out as we hope, well, there are lots of alternatives. Besides, at the risk of sounding totally selfish, I do rather like the idea of it being just the two of us for a while. You've opened up a whole new world of light and love for me, my dear, and I certainly wouldn't mind basking in that glow once these dark days are passed."
She smiled at him tenderly. "When you put it like that, well, how can a girl ever repine for what she thinks she might lack."
"Do you? Repine for something lacking, I mean?" he asked, his eyes dark with concern.
"Just the lack within myself," she said, shaking her head. "As I've said, I need to learn to trust myself. To grow up and not allow anyone to treat me as a victim again. And to do the right thing, even if sometimes my methods are wrong."
"Do what, pet?"
She stroked his hand pensively for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry for what happened to Hugo, but even more sorry for Maggie. I really don't think she was involved in the conspiracy against us."
He frowned. "We can never be sure—"
"I know," she said, snuggling up against his side. "But let's give her the benefit of the doubt, shall we? She's a widow now, so whatever she might have ever hoped to gain is nothing compared to what she's lost. I do believe that she loved him in her own way."
George nodded. "Aye, I think she did."
"And she's lost Bart too."
"True. I think he was more enamored of Hugo than of her. He'll be pretty broken up about his death in the fire."
"How are we going to explain that one, do you think?" she asked, biting her lip.
"Sebastian put him under the roof before he died. Did the ball go straight through?"
She swallowed hard. "Er, I'm not sure."
"I'm sorry, love, but I need to ask."
She sighed. "I know. I shot him through the head. Right between the eyes."
"I see. No intent to just wound, then."
"No. He meant to rape and kill me, with Oxnard's help. You were in danger. I didn't have time or the strength to deal with a wounded and very revengeful enemy. So yes, I intended to kill him to stop them from killing the both of us.
"And I would do it again in a minute if he or anyone else ever dares try to harm us again, friend or no supposed friend," she said, thinking of how Sebastian too had almost betrayed them last night, though independently of Hugo and because he was under orders to do so, she was sure.
He stroked down her back tenderly. "My tigress. Still, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. So, you need to tell me, was there only spray at the front of his face, or at the back too?"
"Everywhere. Front and back." She shuddered.
"Good. He was well and truly dead then, and didn't suffer. There also won't be any bullet to dig out of his crushed skull. So we need to come up with a reasonable explanation for the authorities."
"I know."
He thought for a moment, then said, "Hugo came to me tonight to get his old job back. I had to refuse. In a fit of anger he set the place on fire, but was killed in the process as he gloated over his revenge."
"It sounds as good a story as any," she agreed after a time. "At least we didn't feed him to the fish in the Thames.
"Aye. Maggie would be left abandoned in that case, not simply widowed. Best off not leaving her to wonder for the rest of her life what had happened to him."
"So given all that's happened, do you think you could let bygones be bygones and see your way clear to setting her up with some sort of allowance to help her out?"
He gave her a warm smile. "That's a kind thought considering how horrid they both were to you. But yes, of course, I'll talk to my advisors and see what the best way is to organize things so she can be independent but not go too wild."
"And Sebastian?"
"What about him?" he said in surprise.
She said cautiously, "He's clearly a gentleman's son and needs to find his own, well, his own proper sphere. I know you and he are great friends, but he needs to be free of the past as well, and your lifestyle seems to keep drawing you both right back into it."
He nuzzled her cheek with his own lightly bristled one. "Believe me, my love, if there were a way to be free of the whole damned lot of them, I woul
d jump at it in an instant."
She hugged him hard so that he could not see the expression on her face. "I know what you mean. Perhaps if we all put our heads together, we can come up with a foolproof plan."
"Our enemies are certainly no fools."
She sighed and stroked his cheek tenderly. "I know. But they're so arrogant they've made the mistake of underestimating us more than once. If they do again, well, we'll be ready for them."
"I certainly hope so. But I would also feel a lot better if you were to leave London—"
She shook her head. "No. I'm not going anywhere without you, love. We belong together. We're safest when we present a united front, trust me."
"I do, darling, but I wonder how you can trust me."
She moved up in the bed to look into his eyes and kiss him softly on the lips. "I trust you with my love, my life, all that I am and all I ever hope to be. I know you reproach yourself for corrupting me, the scurrilous things you said, the lack of honesty which led me to make the worst mistakes of my life, trusting the wrong person.
"But it's my fault too. I should have trusted to my heart, trusted to love. I won't ever make that mistake again. You think you've ruined my, my love, but you've been the making of me as a woman. I only hope I can save you as you've saved me."
"Let's hope we don't either of us need any more saving," he said with a shaky smile.
"Only time will tell."
"You are all right, though, I mean—"
She nodded. "I am, in every sense. I'm going to see Antony Herriot again tomorrow for another examination just to be sure, but I feel well, and in truth, though these last few weeks have been difficult, I've never felt more alive. I just want to be certain there's nothing, well, preventing us from having a baby one day."
"It will come in time. You've been through a lot."
She stroked his dark hair but remained silent.
"You were in a very dark place for a while," he observed gently. "Don’t' go back there because of what happened tonight, please?"
She bit her lip and shook her head. "I've never killed a man before. Let alone a friend. Well, near friend."
"I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you--"
"You were when it counted. Oxnard nearly ran you through."
"Aye, but for your gift, I would have been."
"I'm going to frame that cameo and put it on the wall as a reminder of how close we came to losing each other."
"And the theatre. But you were a marvel. You got those people organized and saved the theatre."
"But you're right," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "I was in a dark place Hugo and Oxnard trying to take me again showed me just how dark. But as I've said, it ends now. I'm fighting back and I won't even worry about fighting fair, so long as you and everyone we care about are safe."
"My, my, you've become quite the feisty wench, have you not?" he teased, kissing the top of her head.
She giggled. "Blame it on the breeches parts, my dear."
"Oh dear, where has Miranda gone," he teased, pretending to look around the room. "She's been replaced by Cesario."
"So long as I haven't been replaced by Viola," she said tightly.
He shook his head. "No, never. Impossible, in fact, even if she wanted that, which she most certainly doesn't. She and Alistair are committed to each other. I'm even more committed to you and our future. Any admiration I ever felt for her was out of sheer loneliness and wishing for more than friendship because it had been so long since I had manage to be, well, intimate with anyone, not physically but just to talk to. Someone to understand.
"No, the only future I can ever see for myself is with you as the love of my life and my most intimate friend, lover, the center of my whole universe. I just wish we could start making plans for our future without having to worry about the next disaster that might ruin it."
"I know what you mean. But trust me. It will all be fine."
"Is some of Philip's clairvoyance rubbing off on you, by any chance?" he joked.
She shook her head. "Let's just say I have a great deal of faith in the two of us and with that we can move mountains. Even one as stony as Castlereagh."
He sighed heavily and ran the fingers of one hand through his thick dark hair. "I sure hope you're right."
"So do I, my love, so do I," she whispered as she cradled her head against his shoulder and allowed herself to drift off to sleep at last in the arms of her beloved.
She could feel a blissful somnolence beginning to claim her. Holding on to him as though she’d never let him go, she slept at last, a dream free from nightmares for once now that she knew what she had to do to keep them safe. If only she dared….
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
After a long night’s sleep in Miranda’s arms, George was feeling a great deal better physically. But his mental anguish over what could have happened to his beloved if she had not been so resourceful and resolute was acute. He awoke to find himself curled right up against Miranda’s stomach.
When she realised he was awake, she stroked his hair softly. He teased her for a time with his fingers and mouth, but with none of his usual desperate urgency. She unfolded like a newly bloomed rose under his gentle caresses. If anything their lovemaking was even more compelling than his previous overwhelming needed to fulfill her every desire and obliterate forever the cruelty and violence which had been perpetrated upon her.
For once he didn’t worry about his performance with Miranda. As he had done on stage when necessary, he improvised, did whatever felt natural. Neither tried to direct the bliss, and they brought each other to a resounding finale which George was sure awakened the entire household.
But both were too happy to be alive and in love to care very much. In any event, he recalled only too well his friend Viola’s courtship with Alistair. She had managed to surprise even him, and George had thought he’d seen it all running The Three Bells.
At last he rolled onto his side and gathered Miranda close once more, resting his head on her rosy breast.
"How is your wound?"
"What wound?" he said with a grin.
"Still, we mustn’t overdo things for the next few weeks."
"Just you try to stop me from making love to my wife."
"Except that we’re not married yet. George, we need to talk."
"Shall we have some breakfast first before we begin?" he asked quietly.
"Aye, I think some toast and tea, and a nice long hot bath. I can’t seem to get the smell of smoke out of my nostrils."
"I know exactly what you mean. Stay here, darling. I’ll take care of everything."
After some warm food, a hot bath, and some scorching lovemaking both in the tub and back in the four-poster bed, George felt his shivers dissipate at last. Pensively, he helped Miranda into her clothes, dressing her as tenderly as if she were a newborn child.
He left off only her stockings and shoes, then pulled on a shirt and trousers himself, and led her over to the window seat. He sat her first, then himself, and pulled her feet into his lap. He stroked them soothingly as they gazed out at the idyllic back garden for a time.
"I need to tell you the whole truth, darling. I’m sorry if any of this distresses you. Please believe me when I say I would do anything to keep you happy and safe. I love you more than my own life, Miranda. You have only to tell me what you want for our future. If it’s in my power, you shall have it."
"Tell me, George," she said simply. "Who are you really?"
"Georges D’Ambois, son of a French emigre who fled the Revolution and made a new life for himself in England, Spain and Portugal. I started as a merchant with him, since I was the eldest son and needed to help support the family. I adored the theatre, but it wasn’t the career for a gentleman, certainly not one destined to become an earl."
She stared at him in surprise.
He nodded. "My father’s English cousin Ferncliffe was childless, and settled the title and property on me in his will. It’s
not far from Brimley in Somerset, an old ruin of a place. We also had a fine holding down near Lyme Regis in Dorset. Ferncliffe is a terrible old pile, I always thought, straight out of a Gothic novel, but if Philip and his friends are settled in Brimley, perhaps it isn’t such a bad place after all of us to make a fresh start."
She listened to his revelations wide-eyed, unable to believe her ears, but also unwilling to interrupt.
The Rakehell Regency Romance Series Boxed Set 6 Page 74
