by J. M. Page
“Why are you telling me all of this now?” she choked out.
“Because… Because you’re our only hope. You’re my only hope. At first… At first, I wasn’t sure you could do it. You didn’t know what you were doing, you didn’t have a plan, it seemed like you didn’t have a prayer. But every step of the way you surprise me. You’re stronger than she thinks. Than I thought. You’re smart, too. And I know you can beat her.”
She shook her head, swallowing the bile that pressed at the back of her throat. “If you were really on my side, she’d have killed you already.”
He nodded. “If she knew. I was supposed to have delivered you to her weeks ago, but I’ve been stalling, hoping to help you bring her down.” He stood now and Snow flinched, taking another step back from him. Why hadn’t she gotten another blaster before they got off the ship? Hunter held out his hands, inching toward her. “I want to see you succeed more than anything, Snow, please believe me.”
She took another step away from him, her back butting into the thick stalk of a giant flower. “How can I? You’ve just admitted to playing both sides. How can I believe anything you say ever again?”
She searched his eyes and saw genuine hurt there. Or, at least, it looked genuine. How could she be sure? He was clearly a skilled actor.
“If you can’t believe my words, at least believe my actions. What have I got to gain from letting this go on if I’m not telling you the truth? If all I cared about was doing my job, I could have taken you to her and been done with it a long time ago.” He took a step towards her and she stayed rooted in place. “I could have let the guards take you.” Another step and his scent — woods and earth — was stronger than the flowers’. “I could have told her where you were any step of the way, but I didn’t.” He took a final step and Snow sucked in a breath at how close he was now. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to get away from him and his betrayal.
“Why didn’t you?” she breathed, barely audible. How could he still leave her so confused and dizzy? Her head felt foggy and her eyes couldn’t decide whether to stay locked with his or to drift down to his lips. She wanted to go back to feeling safe in his arms, but how could she now?
“Isn’t it obvious?” He groaned and dropped his chin to his chest before shaking his head. “I don’t know what it is about you. You drive me crazy. You’re infuriating and stubborn. You don’t know how to take no for an answer and even though I know you’ve been through as much hell as I have, you still go looking for trouble when you could fade into obscurity.”
“None of that sounds like a good thing,” she said, crossing her arms. If he’d intended to cool her burning temper, this wasn’t the way.
He laughed then. It was such a surprising sound that she nearly stumbled backwards, but the enormous flower caught her.
“I know! Isn’t that ridiculous? But that’s the point… You’ve hooked me. After all that happened to me as a kid, I didn’t want to trust anyone. I didn’t want to help anyone. Helping someone is what got my father arrested and me practically sentenced to death. But you…” He reached out and brushed his hand down her arm. “Snow, there’s something special about you and I can’t keep pretending like it’s not there. I can’t keep lying to myself and acting like I don’t care.” His hand slid up her arm until he cupped her jaw. “Because I do. Far too much for my own good.”
She looked away, blinking back tears, his fingers still laced in her hair. How could she forgive him? How could she believe him?
The worst part of it all was that she already had. Her heart thumped against her ribcage, warring with her brain. One told her to run as far away from him as she could manage and the other told her to accept his apology and melt into him.
“You feel it too, don’t you?” he asked, his voice soft and raspy. Searching and vulnerable. He was putting himself out there and begging her to throw him a line. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t even look at him.
“I see,” he said, dropping his hand to his side and stepping back from her.
Rejection flashed in his eyes and he set his jaw, his hands balling into fists. Snow’s heart sank, a gaping black hole opening up inside her, threatening to swallow her whole if she didn’t fix this.
“Wait,” she called. Hunter stopped his retreat and turned back to her. His hopefulness nearly ripped her apart.
She took a deep breath. He couldn’t help the circumstances he’d been dealt any more than she could. It wasn’t his fault that the Queen forced him into servitude. And if what he said was true… if he’d done anything differently…
The thought of Hunter cold and lifeless like Plick brought a lump to her throat and a rush of tears made her vision blurry.
“Is that… Is that everything?” she asked, her voice breaking. It would take time for her to trust him again, but at least he’d been forthcoming with her now, instead of letting it drag on until someone else outed him. She’d rather hear it from him. Hear his explanation. It could have been worse.
He opened his mouth to answer, then hung his head. “No. My father’s alive,” he said. “I didn’t know until we were on Avuuna. I’d always thought he was dead… I guess she thought she might need a bargaining chip one day.”
Snow felt like she was going to crumple under the weight of all this new information. Every revelation made her shoulders sag and her knees buckle with its added burden. How much more could she take?
“Your father’s alive? Hunter… that’s… I’m so happy for you,” she said. And she meant it. There was no doubt in her mind that she would move the whole galaxy if she found out her father was still alive. Nothing would get in her way.
“She’s going to make me choose,” he said, coming closer again. “In the end. I know she will.”
Snow swallowed, nodding. She couldn’t blame him for choosing his family.
He shook his head. “You misunderstand, Princess,” he said, his voice taking on that familiar huskiness at the word ‘Princess.’ “When she told me, I knew unequivocally that I’d betray you for him. It seemed the obvious choice. But I don’t think I can. I’m not sure I ever could. All these years he’s been in prison, alive, and all I wanted was to have him back. That and my freedom. But now… I feel terrible for saying it, but I don’t think I’d choose him.”
“You won’t have to choose,” Snow said, her heart thumping against her windpipe, making all her words sound choked and forced.
“Snow… Don’t—”
She shook her head and pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him. “You’re not going to have to choose because we’re going to get him out of there before she can make you.”
His eyes widened, but she kept her finger to his lips, searching for the words she needed to express how she felt. Finally, she dropped her hand and with it, took his.
“I feel it too,” she whispered. It was out there now. Forever. Hanging in the air between them. She wanted to snatch the words back and stuff them deep down with all her other bottled up emotions. But they were free now, and with that simple statement, her tears broke free.
Hunter swept her into his arms and the tears flowed in earnest, soaking his shirt. She didn’t care. Though the spot was wet, beneath it she could hear his heart beating, strong and steady. A reminder that this wasn’t over yet.
“Shh,” he soothed, his hand trailing up and down her spine. “I’m sorry. God, Snow, I’m so sorry. I’ll fix this. I don’t know how, but we can get through this. We can fight this. We can—”
“Will you just shut up and kiss me?”
That was rewarded with a grin from him. He tucked her hair behind her ear, gazing deep into her eyes as his hand slid around the back of her neck. “I live to serve, Princess,” he whispered, leaning down to press his lips to hers. The contact was electric. A jolt shot straight from her lips to her toes and Snow grabbed hold of his damp shirt to pull him closer. So what if everything was uncertain now? So what if she didn’t know how this would all end?
What she knew, right then and there,
was that they had each other. They had each other and they had this moment, on this planet, and no one could take that away from them.
Her head swam as his tongue pressed into her mouth; she’d never kissed anyone on the mouth before and hadn’t expected it to make her feel so dizzy and weightless. Like the whole world just faded away and it was only the two of them drifting in open space, Hunter breathing air into her lungs. Giving her his life.
“Salty,” he said, dragging the rough pad of his thumb over her cheek, collecting her tears.
“Sorry about that,” she giggled, marveling at how quickly her mood turned. Of course she still didn’t know if she could trust him, but she would never truly know that about anyone. He told her everything without having to. She had to give him some credit for that.
And if she was going to dethrone an evil Queen and take back her Empire, there was no one in the galaxy she’d rather have at her side. Despite her better judgement, she’d fallen for him and there was no going back.
Chapter Eighteen
Hunter
The setting sun painted the sky vivid pinks and purples, rivaling the riot of color from the flowers. But it all paled in comparison to Snow; Snow with her flushed cheeks and shining eyes, her lips reddened from their kiss. He still couldn’t believe it. He’d hoped she’d understand, that she’d forgive him, but he never actually expected it. Part of him had expected this to be the end of their time together. Instead… Instead it seemed like it might be the beginning.
As happy as he’d be to hold Snow in his arms forever, the wind rustling the flowers was chilly and she shivered.
“Let’s get you to the fire,” he said, finally releasing his hold on her.
They sat on the soft grass, the fire crackling, the sun’s light fading as darkness engulfed this strange planet and stars winked to life in the sky. The flowers all around them opened, spreading their petals wide, filling the air with golden clouds of pollen. At least this time she wasn’t sneezing.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, as the silence stretched between them. Was she regretting the kiss now? Regretting her acceptance of him?
“No, thank you.” She poked the fire with a stick, the embers reflecting in her eyes. Hunter scooted a little closer to her and gathered his courage to slip an arm around her shoulders. Instead of shaking him off like he expected, she leaned into him, using his chest as a pillow, and yawned.
“What was her name?”
“Hmm?” he asked, absently stroking her hair.
“The girl. The one that betrayed you.”
He stiffened. Of course she’d want to know about that. He took a deep breath and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before he sighed.
“Callie.” Her name alone spiked his blood pressure.
“Did you love her?”
He thought about the way his heart swelled around Snow. How she could make him so angry and so besotted all at once. It was nothing like that with Callie. “No,” he said. “I thought I did at the time, but it was just an infatuation. I was only a boy.” At that age, he hadn’t felt like a boy, though. He’d felt like a man. He’d trusted his heart and it landed him in this mess.
Then again, without all of that, he’d never have met Snow.
“What happened?” Snow asked, her voice soft and dreamlike. Hunter suddenly felt the exhaustion creeping in, too. He seemed more tired than he should be and the sudden onset of it was suspicious. This planet… the flowers… He yawned and pulled her closer.
“My father was still working for the palace after you left. As I got older, I started helping him with the deliveries and she was a young maid there. I was smitten the moment I saw her, but it was superficial. I couldn’t even tell you anything about her. Her favorite color, her middle name… None of it mattered. She flirted with me and that was enough for a fifteen-year-old boy to fall head over heels. You know how teenagers are,” he said.
Her head moved from side to side slowly. “Not really,” she said with a yawn.
“Right,” he laughed softly. “Well, they’re impulsive and don’t see the shades of gray. To me, you were either with the Queen or against her. Callie never fawned over her or praised her in private, so I thought she was on our side like the majority of palace holdovers.”
Snow tilted her head back to look at him, her eyes creased with worry. He wanted to tell her there was no use in worrying about it now. It was all over and done with a decade ago. “But she wasn’t? On your side?”
Hunter shrugged, the memory was less painful now, with Snow at his side, but there had been times before when thinking about it was like falling on a sword. “I don’t know if she was really on anyone’s side but her own. I found out her brother was forced into the Queen’s Guard — back then, a lot of the kids recruited never made it out — and asked my father to help him escape. I thought she’d be thrilled to learn he was safe… and she was, but then she knew my father was a loyalist. She reported him, hoping, I’m sure, to get some kind of reward.”
“Did she?”
“No idea. After my new chip was implanted, I was sent to the Guard Academy, taught how to be an assassin.”
Snow froze and pushed back from him, her eyes wide, her lips parted on a protest.
He squeezed her arm and shook his head. “No, I didn’t end up being an assassin. Though I might as well have been. My… skills were better suited to being a huntsman, she decided. Basically, I just tracked people down and brought them to the palace for… whatever she decided to do to them.”
She swallowed, her eyes falling to the ground now. “That’s what you were supposed to do with me?”
He nodded. No use in denying it now. “I tried to make myself feel better by saying I wasn’t the one actually killing anyone. But I might as well have been. I know it’s foolish.”
She shook her head, resting it against his chest again, her hand skimming up his side to settle over his heart, fingers splayed. “You did what you had to to survive. I’m glad you’re still here.”
He didn’t deserve her kindness or acceptance. He didn’t deserve a girl like Snow. But knowing that, he just pulled her tighter against him, his throat closing up as his heart expanded. “Me too.”
The silence lingered, punctuated by the song of a million nighttime insects chirping and buzzing. His eyelids grew heavier.
“By the time I came back to the palace, the Queen had done a full sweep of the staff, installing all new people. I never saw Callie again. I don’t even know what happened to her.”
“I’m sorry,” Snow whispered.
“I’m not. If I’d seen her then, thinking my father was dead and with all my new assassin training… I don’t think it would have ended well.”
She nodded. “That’s understandable.”
How was it possible that such an understanding and compassionate woman existed? And that she was in his arms of all places? He lifted her chin with a fingertip and kissed her softly, just a whisper of a touch between them, but it set his body aflame with need for her all the same.
“How are you dealing with everything Doc told you? About your father?”
Snow let out a big sigh, breaking away from him to stare into the fire again. “I don’t know. I know children think their parents can do no wrong and idolize them despite everything. I always knew that most kids were wrong about their parents… but…” she gave a humorless laugh. “It’s silly, but I always thought my dad was the exception to that. Everyone loved him. Or so I thought. I guess that’s probably not true. No one is loved by everyone and the rebellion already existed for a reason…”
“It’s hard, thinking of him as flawed and human like us,” Hunter said, nodding.
“I guess that’s it. Yeah,” she said, nodding along. “I always knew he’d made at least one mistake, marrying her, trusting her… But it seems there were others. I always pictured him as this great leader, but who knows with these chips… Maybe he wasn’t as great as I thought.” Her shoulders sagged and Hunter drew her into
his chest again.
“I’m sure he had reasons. We may not ever know them, but I don’t think you should give up on that image of him. He was loved and people still miss him every day.”
She nodded, but didn’t respond, still enthralled by the fire.
“There’s a reason the whole Empire is praying you’re still alive, Snow. And it’s not because they think King Stuart was a crummy leader. They’re hoping the family resemblance goes deeper than shrewd eyes and stubborn determination.” He grinned, trying to lighten the mood, but she didn’t look back at him.
“I just hope I’m not a disappointment. I mean… assuming we’re even able to take the palace back, is anyone really going to trust me to run the Empire? I don’t even know if I can do it.”
These were the fears that kept her up at night. That gave her nightmares that left her crying out in her sleep. These doubts and uncertainties were the monsters he’d never be able to protect his princess from.
