“Are you so surprised?”
She chuckled. “When you’ve seen as much as I have, surprises come few and far between. I will say that I didn’t expect you to settle down so quickly.”
“Nobody said anything about settling down.”
“Nobody had to.” She winked. “As for the Swedish princess, I suggest you do some serious thinking about your future over the next week.”
“I will.” I looked toward the oven. “When are those muffins going to be ready?”
Chapter 15
Tamara
Jo’s door was closed when I got home, and loud music blasted from the other side. It was as distinct a “KEEP OUT” sign as any, but I didn’t want to leave it any longer before we figured things out. Jo and I rarely fought. It made me physically uncomfortable, like an itch under my skin that I couldn’t scratch.
I put on the kettle and made us both a cup of tea, then went to knock on her door. The music ceased and a second later she called, “Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
A pause. “Sure.”
I opened the door to find Jo sitting cross-legged on her bed, her laptop laying on the pillow beside her. “I made you a cup of tea. Want to come to the living room so we can chat?”
“Sure.”
Jo followed me out of the room and sat down on the couch. I handed her a mug of tea and took a seat next to her, angling my body to face her.
“I want to hear why you dropped out of school,” I said. “I’m not going to interrupt. I’m not going to judge. I just want to listen.”
Jo pulled her knees to her chin and chewed on her tongue, watching me. “What’s the point?” she asked. “I told you already and you don’t get it.”
“How about I try to listen better, and you try to explain better, and hopefully by the end of it we’ll understand each other.”
Jo watched me, weighing her options, before she gave a short nod.
“Okay.” She cleared her throat. “Like I said, there was too much pressure. It started to really mess with my head.”
“Pressure from Mom and Dad?”
“Mostly, but the whole pressure cooker environment of the school wasn’t doing anything for me either. I was already on edge, and then at the end of the semester everybody just turns into these automated drones as they slog through finals. It sucks.”
“Mom and Dad just want what’s best for you.”
She shot me a caustic smile. “I know that. But did you or them ever think that maybe what’s best for me isn’t the university track?”
I sat back a little, taking a sip of tea. “What do you mean?”
“Ever since I was little, everything in my life has been leading up to this,” she explained. “It was always finish high school, go to university, get a job. I already had a hard time accepting that was what my life was meant to be, and then you got your big break and it just got worse.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “Acting is my dream, and it’s far from the conventional job. I thought me putting my all into achieving my dream would encourage you to follow yours.”
“That’s the thing!” She threw her hand in the air in exasperation. “I don’t have a dream, Tam-Tam. I’m getting to the end of university and I still have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. Everyone else has it figured out, Mom and Dad seem to think I’ve got it figured out, when really I’ve been trudging through the past few years with my eyes closed, throwing myself into my studies as hard as I can in the hopes that something will spark and I’ll finally figure it out.” She lowered her hand and her voice a little, chewing her bottom lip in contemplation. “I guess I just realized one day that there are other ways for me to figure it out. And I want to do that. I want the freedom to decide.”
I had to admit that what she was saying made a lot of sense to me, but I still disagreed on a few points. Plus, it felt like I owed it to Mom and Dad to at least try to make her understand their point of view.
“Lots of people don’t have it figured out,” I said. “But what happens when you do find your passion and don’t have the education you need to follow it?”
“What passion would that be?” she asked in a flat tone. “Business management? I don’t think so. And what if I go back and waste all this time on a degree I’ll never use, only to fall in love with surfing or animal husbandry?” She reached for my hand. “Tamara, I’m not asking you to defend my cause to Mom and Dad. All I’m asking is for a little time, a little space, to sort out all the crazy things flying around my head without stuffing it full of university detritus. Can you give me that?”
She seemed so lost in that moment, her big blue eyes full of sincerity and emotion, that I couldn’t deny her a single thing. Especially when she made a good point.
“I’ll call Mom and tell her that you’re staying with me for the summer,” I said. “But after that, you’re on your own. You’ll either need to go back to school or prove to them that this time off is worth continuing. Okay?”
Jo flashed a smile. “Yes! Thank you!”
“And you can’t just spend the whole summer canoodling with your little duke,” I said, waving my finger at her. “You need to do some serious soul searching.”
“I won’t leave a stone unturned,” she said. “This means so much to me. Thank you, Tamara.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “I knew that I could count on you.”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “You already won me over. There’s no need to lay it on so thick.” I checked the time on my phone. “Mom should be up now. Do you want to stick around to hear this or...?”
Jo retracted her hand. “I’m going to go back to my room.”
We both laughed, and once her door was closed I dialed my Mom’s number and held my breath.
“Tamara!” she answered. “Please tell me your sister is on a flight back home.”
“Erm, no,” I said. “She’s actually going to stay with me for the summer and work some things out.”
“Things?” she said, as if the word tasted sour on her tongue. “What kind of things could she possibly have to work out?”
“Trust me, Mom, this will be good for her.”
“How could throwing her future away possibly be good for her?”
I closed my eyes, wincing. “Like I said, you’ve just got to trust me. She’s going through a lot and I think it’ll be best for everyone in the long run if she takes a little time to breathe.”
Mom didn’t like that, and fought me on it for another solid five minutes before reluctantly agreeing not to come over and drag Jo back home herself. After we ended the call I dragged myself to my bedroom, exhausted even though I’d done barely anything all day.
I collapsed onto my bed with a happy sigh and, with thoughts of Alexander bouncing through my head, slipped away into a cozy nap.
The next morning, I arrived on set refreshed and recharged. I smiled at everyone I met and practically skipped from my trailer to the costuming department. Even standing still for half an hour while they stuck pins in me did little to tarnish my mood.
Then, of course, I had to walk outside and see Michael.
The fact that I’d started running into him so often seemed suspicious. We’d done a pretty good job of avoiding each other since the breakup, but now it seemed every time I turned a corner he was there.
I was on my way to the refreshments table for a quick coffee before makeup when he found me.
“Tamara,” he said airily, cozying up beside me. “How are you?”
I finished stirring sugar into my coffee and cast him a sideways glance. “Fine.”
I thought my tone made it clear that I wasn’t interested in chatting, but apparently I was wrong.
“What did you get up to on your days off?” he asked. “Spend some time with your sister?”
I turned to face him, frowning. “How did you know Joanne’s here?”
“People talk,” he said with an easy smile. “They talk about all sorts of things.”
For something he said so casually it sure sounded like a threat. But what could he be threatening? Did he know something about my relationship with Alexander? Did he think he knew?
I grew uncomfortable under Michael’s intense stare and shifted my gaze to my cup. “I should get going.”
I passed him, but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. Hot coffee spilled over the side of my cup. If I’d known I was about to be accosted by my ex-boyfriend, I would have taken a lid.
“Oh, shit,” he said. “Sorry about that.” Michael grabbed napkins from the table and started to blot my hand, his touch lingering just a little too long.
“I’ve been thinking, you know.” He kept his voice quiet, smooth. It was the voice he used to use when we made love. It was also the voice he used when we made love on screen. “About us.”
I pulled my hand from his grip. “There is no us.”
“I know.” He winked. “That’s the problem.”
“Oh, brother.” I rolled my eyes. “Michael, you can’t be serious. I already told you…”
“You think about me too. I know you do. Plus, the fans are practically begging for it.”
“The fans don’t know how wrong we were for each other,” I muttered. “Though if they paid attention they would.”
This didn’t faze him in the slightest. His smile made it seem like we were flirting, exchanging sexual-tension laden banter when really I was dying to break away. It was moments like this that made me wonder if Michael’s affection for me was ever genuine, or if our whole relationship was some sort of heartless publicity scheme on his end. It twisted a knife in my already sore wound.
“Come on, Tamara,” he said. “We had some great times together, didn’t we? What reason do you have not to give it another shot? It’s not like you’ve got anyone else.”
My mouth fell open in affront. “So now I need to have another guy not to want to get back together with the guy who broke my heart and hung me out to dry?” Shaking my head, I turned and walked away.
Anger pulsed through my veins, but it served me right for pausing to talk to him when I should’ve gotten out of there tout suite the moment he sidled into view.
If Michael’s fans knew what he was really like, would they still worship the ground he walked on? He wasn’t always so bad, but as soon as fangirls from around the world started pumping air into his already too-big head he became insufferable.
And all I could do was hope that the writers would have a fit of mercy and kill him off.
Chapter 16
Alexander
The ticking of the clock got lost amongst the tapping of silver cutlery on fine china plates, but it somehow echoed through my skull.
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
How long had this dinner been going on? And how much longer until it was over?
“I must say, I do love the food over here,” Svetlana commented. “At home, we eat a lot of fish, and I’ve never liked it. I’m a terrible disappointment to my family.”
I chuckled, reeling my thoughts back to the present. “You’re in good company, then.”
She flashed a bright smile at me from across the table. Her blue eyes glimmered in the low light, vibrant against her pale cheeks. She was a stunner, but did nothing for me. All I could think about were Tamara’s eyes, molten bronze irises swirling with passion and mischief. I wished she was sitting across from me instead.
“Your brother told me about the little surprise on the way,” she said. “Are you excited to have a little niece or nephew?”
“Thrilled,” I replied. “I love kids.”
“You want some of your own one day?”
I set my fork on the plate, glancing down the table at Edward and Clarissa, who were chatting enthusiastically with one of the Swedish royal advisors Svetlana brought with her. I returned my gaze to Svetlana.
“Very much so,” I answered. “I’d have a whole litter of them if possible. And a dog for every kid.”
She laughed. “We’re total opposites. It’s the unspoken horror in my family that I don’t want any children at all.”
Ha. Now I had something to give to Edward to prove we weren’t compatible.
“None at all? Do you just not like them?”
She shrugged. “I want to travel the world, to never stop moving. I’m not good with kids and I don’t think I’d be a great mother.”
“You won’t be a great princess either with a mindset like that.”
She smirked. “I know. Another of my family’s unspoken horrors.”
For the first time, I felt a sort of kinship with Svetlana. Perhaps Edward and Nana were right that I’d judged her too quickly. I wouldn’t say we were a good fit romantically, but at the very least we had a few things in common—rebellion being one of them.
Nevertheless, even this interesting tidbit couldn’t hold my attention for long. My thoughts returned to Tamara at the next lull in conversation. I hadn’t seen her since our night at Springfield Manor a few days prior and I was itching like a junkie who needed his fix. I hated that our relationship had to be so hush-hush but I understood why, even if all I wanted to do was move her into the palace and keep her forever.
I was beginning to think that was the only way I’d ever get some peace.
The seconds ticked by with agonizing slowness, but dinner eventually drew to a close. The serving staff cleared our plates, and my father cleared his throat.
“How about a drink in the parlor?” he suggested, addressing the party of Swedes. “I’ve had our staff prepare your country’s traditional aquavit.”
Svetlana grinned. “That sounds wonderful.” She met my eyes. “Have you ever had aquavit before? It’s just vodka infused with aromatics, but it’s sensational.”
“I haven’t,” I said. “And I’m afraid I won’t yet have the pleasure. I’m going to be terribly boring and retire for the evening. I’m completely wiped out.”
Edward glared at me. “Oh?”
It wasn’t exactly a lie and this helped me meet my brother’s gaze with steel. “I’ve been working on our charity project all day, and Sir Hank and I had a long hike this afternoon.” I flashed Svetlana a charming smile. “It was a small miracle that I didn’t fall asleep in my bisque.”
She seemed a little disappointed, but at least wasn’t irritated the way my brother was.
“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to chat over the next few days,” she said. “Go ahead and get some rest.”
I smiled and politely excused myself from the table, heading off to my apartment without a single detour.
Yes, I had spent the day working and ambling through the countryside with Hank and yes, I was tired—but that wasn’t my whole reason for leaving early. I had a golden opportunity here. Everyone thought I was going to bed, and they’d all be too distracted to notice me slipping out. If they got drunk enough, I could be back before any of them woke in the morning.
And where was I going? To satisfy my craving, of course.
I wasn’t even sure I could call this compulsion to see Tamara a craving. Cravings could be ignored, they could be forgotten. They could be satisfied with a reasonable substitute.
What I felt for Tamara was different. It was like there was a piece of her under my skin that grew hotter the longer we were apart. Nothing else, nobody else, could quell that fire except her, and the relief I experienced just being around her was beyond anything I’d ever known. After nearly a week of burning, I couldn’t hold out anymore.
Hank was waiting by the door in my apartment and rushed to his feet when I entered, licking my hand.
“Wanna go for a car ride?”
His tail whipped back and forth so fast it was a wonder there was no sonic boom. I grabbed his leash and we left out the door I normally used to let him outside. If anybody saw us, they would assume I was taking Hank for a walk before bed.
I parked outside Tamara’s flat and hustled Hank up to the front door, scanning the list of buzzers unti
l I found her number. I pressed it and waited, Hank seated patiently beside me.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Hey, Kitty Kat.”
“Alex? What the—“ The line went dead.
I rocked back on my heels and waited, and moments later Tamara flung open the door and practically dragged me inside. Hank trotted along behind me, stopping to sniff at the scents of the lobby.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Tamara’s eyes flew wide with alarm. “How long were you standing out there? Did anybody see you?”
I pulled her close, watching her pupils dilate. “I came to see you. Not long. No.”
Before she could ask anything else, I bent forward and kissed her. Her kiss was refreshing, a splash of cool water on my face that drove away all my earlier tiredness. I held her face in one hand, pinkie finger sliding down her neck. Tamara curved against me.
We pulled apart and she shook her head in bemusement. “You and these surprises...”
“You love them and hope they never end?” I filled in, smirking. “Thought so.”
“Come on.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the elevator. “Joanne’s going to flip her shit.”
“First time meeting your sister,” I commented, strolling beside her. “Should I be nervous?”
Tamara snorted but didn’t answer. We rode the elevator in silence, absorbing each other’s presence. I already felt much better than I did at dinner. Even Hank seemed to be enjoying himself. He loved a good adventure.
We left the elevator on Tamara’s floor and walked to her door. She led me inside, where a familiar redhead sat with her spine completely straight on the couch and swiveled her head when we entered.
“Prince Alexander,” Joanne breathed, bolting to her feet. “Hey. I mean, hi. I mean...welcome.” She bowed low and stayed there for a second, probably more to hide the blush on her cheeks than out of respect.
I chuckled and approached her. “You can relax. I’m not into the whole bowing and curtseying business.”
Jo rose. “Shit. I should have curtsied. Is that what the chicks do?”
“I can’t tell if you’re putting me on or not,” I said, cocking a brow.
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