by Liz Isaacson
“If I feel like it,” he said. “Sometimes the vacation is a way back to God, you know?”
She pulled out the second chair at the table and sat down. “I’d like to go with you. I think I can leave on Friday and come back on Monday.”
“Really?” His eyes searched hers. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. Honestly.”
“Do you have enough room in that truck for two people to sleep?”
“Yeah, you can have the camper shell, and I’ll sleep in the backseat.”
She laughed. “Hudson, honey, there’s no way you can sleep on that backseat. It’s tiny, and well, you’re not.”
“Are you calling me fat?” he asked, hoping she wouldn’t be offended.
She smiled and shook her head. “Broad-shouldered.”
“More of me to love,” he said, rolling those shoulders she was talking about.
“Stop it.”
“Well, I don’t want you to sleep in the backseat. The camper shell has a nice bed. I can set up a tent on the beach.”
“We’ll work it out,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “It’ll work out.”
“Great.” She stood up and stepped around the table before leaning down and pressing her lips to his. She kissed him in a slow, passionate way that said all kinds of things he didn’t understand.
When she pulled away, he reached for her again and brought her back. He kissed her again, definitely feeling himself falling in love with her. He didn’t even try to stop himself, because he liked this ranch. He liked the peacefulness of life here. He liked Scarlett.
Yeah, he really liked Scarlett.
Hudson tightened the cinch strap and led a horse named Trixie out of the stables. He and Trixie had bonded over the weeks, and she’d simply listen to him as they rode around the perimeter of the ranch to map it.
The task took time, sure, but it was something Hudson enjoyed. He had a notebook and he put features of the land, buildings, piles of wood, anything he saw, on the map that was coming together.
Today, Carson and Sawyer had horses saddled up too, and Hudson was the last to swing up onto his animals and say, “Okay.”
The three of them set out, Trixie half a step ahead, as the others hadn’t come on all the mapping expeditions. The stress of the morning melted away though the sun was hot. He’d packed plenty of water, and his cowboy hat kept his face shaded.
“I’m headed off the ranch for a few days this weekend,” he said. “Can you two cover my responsibilities with the horses and llamas?”
“Off the ranch?” Sawyer asked. “Where you goin’?”
“Just to the beach,” Hudson said. “The ocean clears my head.”
“I’m sure we can cover it,” Carson said.
“Thanks.” Hudson let Trixie take a few more plodding steps, trying to decide what he wanted to say. Sawyer had moved into the cabin in the back beside Carson, and the three of them had gotten along really great over the past several weeks. These were his friends, and Hudson took a moment to enjoy that realization.
“Scarlett’s comin’,” he said.
Silence prevailed for a few more strides. “So you two must be getting along great,” Carson said.
“Well enough,” Hudson said.
“Must be serious if you’re going on a trip together.”
Hudson thought about Carson’s words. He and Scarlett were dating. They weren’t seeing anyone else. His blood heated and threatened to boil him alive if he didn’t kiss her every day.
“He can’t even confirm it,” Sawyer said. “Must be really serious.”
“It’s…been about eight weeks,” Hudson said. “So it’s still new.” That was why his feelings for the woman were so strong. He knew they’d settle. Had experienced such things before.
But with Scarlett, it sure was taking a long time to get his hormones under control. He kissed her like every time was the last time, and he needed to start acting his age—which would go up another number in just a few weeks.
He found the grove of oak trees, said, “Ho,” to get Trixie to stop, and pulled out the notebook from the saddlebag behind him. “Okay, so I’ve got this grove here.” He flipped pages until he found the section of the ranch they were currently on. “We stick here and go west until we get to the cemetery.”
“There’s a cemetery out here?” Sawyer asked.
“I think it’s for the animals,” he said. “The headstones are interesting. Only first names on most of them. A few say things like, ‘Beloved companion to Ben.’”
“Interesting,” Sawyer said. “Have you told Scarlett about it?”
“Not yet.” She wanted a presentation of the land once it was all mapped, and Hudson added it to the list of things he hadn’t brought up with her yet. Like his birthday. Like if she might want to adopt after they got married. Like marriage, which should probably come before a discussion about adoption. Like his strengthening feelings for her.
He couldn’t believe he was even considering marrying someone else. When Jan had left and he’d sold his shop, he’d determined to do something different with his life. He traded in wrenches and oil-stained hands for the nomad’s life, and now he wore a cowboy hat and boots every day.
The man he was now, riding atop a horse, felt more authentic than who he’d been before. A memory from his childhood flashed through his mind, and he knew it was the Lord reminding him that his family was only twenty minutes up the road and he should probably go see them.
Soon, he told himself. After this weekend at the beach.
“So I asked Adele to lunch,” Sawyer said.
“Oh, boy,” Carson said, and Hudson looked back and forth between them. “What did she do? Slam the door in your face? Roll her eyes?”
Sawyer looked at him. “She said yes.”
“What?” Carson’s shock permeated the air, and Hudson squirmed in his saddle. He knew the cowboy from Montana had a king-sized crush on the blonde in the middle cabin. Sawyer obviously didn’t know that, or he wouldn’t have asked her out.
Sawyer shrugged. “She actually said it would be nice to get off the ranch for a meal or two.”
“I’ve asked her to dinner at least five times,” Carson said. He looked at Hudson. “What in the world?”
“I don’t know,” Hudson said at the same time Sawyer said, “I didn’t know you liked her, Carson. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t like her,” Carson said darkly. “I only follow her around like a lovesick puppy, doing every single thing she barks at me.” He continued to mutter under his breath, and Sawyer exchanged a guilty look with Hudson.
“Are you thinking you and Scarlett will ever get married?” he asked, and Hudson dang near fell out of his saddle.
“Wow, I’m really saying all the wrong things today, aren’t I?” Sawyer gazed off into the distance. “Maybe I’ll just head back in.”
“It’s fine,” Hudson said, blowing out his breath. “I don’t know what will happen. I’m not looking to tie the knot any time soon.”
“Because of Jan.”
“Yeah,” he said, wishing that woman didn’t get to inflict herself on his life when she wasn’t even around anymore. “Because of Jan.” And because Scarlett didn’t seem ready to take that step either.
He kept his eyes moving left and right, looking for items to map. Or was he looking for an answer to Sawyer’s question? He didn’t think he’d find it imprinted on the waving grasses on the ranch. Or even the ocean waves.
But he threw up a prayer to God to know what to do about Scarlett, and when, because he sure liked having her in his life.
But permanently? His last name after her first?
Now that, he didn’t know. But maybe the Lord would whisper the answer to him that weekend, as he listened to the waves roar ashore.
Chapter 17
“I can’t believe I’m so nervous.” Scarlett ran her hands down her stomach, which wasn’t anywhere near flat. “The beach. I can’t go to the beach with him.”
/> Adele tucked a black swimming suit into Scarlett’s suitcase. “Of course you can. You’ve already said yes, and you’re leaving in an hour.” She gave Scarlett a pointed look she barely felt. “Which is why you should’ve let me come help you pack last night.”
“I didn’t sleep at all last night,” Scarlett said, all of her senses so heightened she could barely use them. “This is a bad idea, right?” She met Adele’s eye, and she sighed and sat down on the bed beside the suitcase.
“Come sit for a second.”
Scarlett complied, but only because she didn’t know what else to do.
“Honey, you like this man, right?”
“Yes.”
“And he likes you.”
Scarlett thought about the way he held her close to his heart, the way he kissed her like he needed her to survive. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Then just let go of whatever fear is brewing inside you and go have fun.”
“But the swimming suit—”
“Girl, he’s seen you. He’s touched your waist and arms and if he doesn’t know what you’ve got by now, he’s blind.”
“I don’t think he’s blind,” Scarlett said.
Adele laughed and shook her head. “Of course he isn’t. Scarlett, you are what you are. Your body is beautiful, and Hudson knows it.”
Scarlett appreciated the words, as well as the sentiment behind them. She clenched her fingers together and then released them. “You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” Adele looked at the suitcase. “Okay, pajamas. I don’t think we’ve put those in yet.” She started to get up, but Scarlett put her hand on Adele’s arm.
“Why are you going out with Sawyer instead of Carson?”
“I—” Adele snapped her mouth shut, her eyes widening instead. She searched Scarlett’s face, clearly trying to come up with a reasonable explanation. But Scarlett didn’t think she had one.
Her shoulders slumped and she finally said, “He’s not in the plan, you know? You’re the one who runs off and does things willy-nilly. I’m the planner, remember?” Her eyes begged Scarlett to understand, to reassure her that what she was doing was right.
“You can’t plan your whole life,” Scarlett said.
“Yes, I can.” Adele stood up, this conversation clearly over. “Now, do you want something a little sexier for pajamas, or are we going with the middle-aged woman look?”
“I’m too old to try for sexy,” Scarlett said, causing Adele to scoff and wave her hand.
“Rubbish. You’re never too old for sexy.” She stepped over to Scarlett’s dresser and opened the top drawer. “Oh, these will do nicely.” She turned, grinned, and put the pajamas in Scarlett’s suitcase. Another item off her checklist. Another plan completed.
Scarlett thanked her friend and hugged her before Adele slipped out the back door so Scarlett would be alone when Hudson arrived to pick her up. Her stomach buzzed again once she only had herself for company.
“What are you doing?” she whispered to herself as she paced toward the front door. She touched it and turned around, walking the other way now. At least she’d get in some steps before their road trip started. Burn off some excess calories before he took her for fish and chips—an idea he’d texted that morning.
Her thoughts lingered on Adele, and why she couldn’t just add Carson to her list. She almost texted the suggestion to her, but the sound of a heavy vehicle on gravel met her ears. She spun back toward the front door, her heart hurling itself against her ribcage like it was trying to get free.
A knock sounded, and the door opened. Everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion, and Scarlett couldn’t move. Then Hudson’s broad shoulders and tall frame filled the doorway. His face filled with a smile, and he said, “Hey, beautiful,” like their trip would be the easiest thing he did that week.
The sound of his voice also thawed her, and she crossed the room to him. “Hey.” She stretched up and kissed him quickly, deciding to get the confessions out early. “I’m so nervous.”
“Are you?” He reached for her suitcase and picked it up, pausing before he left the house. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” Her fingers started winding around each other. “Aren’t you nervous?”
“No,” he said. “I’m excited, though. We’ve been working way too hard on this ranch.”
“I like working hard on the ranch.”
“I do too,” he said. “Honestly, I do. But everyone needs a break sometimes.” He still didn’t turn to go outside. “Scarlett, what’s really going on?”
“Nothing,” she said. “I just…I haven’t—I’m—are we moving too fast?” Scarlett hadn’t been able to pinpoint the source of her anxiety, but she thought it might be simply because she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.
Hudson blinked at a normal rate, his eyes locked on hers. “I don’t think so, but I respect your feelings. If this is too fast for you, that’s fine.”
“I don’t know what’s too fast for me,” she said. Something clawed at her insides. “I just….” She exhaled. “I’m ruining it, aren’t I?”
“Not at all,” he said easily, like they were talking about the weather. But he didn’t say anything else. Just stood there, looking handsome and exuding confidence, strength, and peace.
Scarlett seized onto his demeanor, determined to be as confident, strong, and secure as he was. “All right.” She drew in a deep breath and straightened. “I want to go.”
“Do you?” He peered at her, even leaning a little closer. “I don’t want you to come if you’re uncomfortable.”
“Discomfort makes us grow,” she said. “My mother always told me that. Not that I need any help with the growing, the way Adele is making sweets these days.” She gave a nervous giggle that contradicted her determination to be calm. “She says the foodie market has really developed a sweet tooth lately.”
Hudson flashed a smile that she barely saw it exited so fast. “I don’t like it when you put yourself down,” he said, finally taking the steps out the front door. “I’ll just leave this here until you figure out what you want to do.” With that, he walked away, lifting his hat and running his free hand through his hair, something she’d only seen him do when he was nervous—or frustrated.
Scarlett’s insides now felt like someone had frozen them and then smashed them with a hammer. Sharp shards stabbed her, and she couldn’t get a full breath.
I don’t like it when you put yourself down.
You’re the one who runs off and does things willy-nilly.
Was she? She’d dated Vance for over a year before they’d even talked about a future together. He’d never minded when she called herself overweight or whale-like. Of course, when they’d met and then married, she weighed about sixty pounds less than she did now. But as she put on the weight, he never said she was beautiful. In fact, he usually laughed when she went down the self-deprecation route.
Hudson’s truck started, and Scarlett had a very scary moment where she thought he’d leave without her. And that answered all of her fears and doubts.
She didn’t want him to leave without her.
Without wasting another moment, she ducked out of the house, pulled the door closed behind her, and grabbed her suitcase. He saw her coming and got out of the truck, nervousness in his eyes but his mouth spreading into a smile.
“I never gave you a tour of the camper shell,” he said, taking her bag from her. “And this is going back there, so do you want the grand tour?”
“Yes,” she said, watching him as he looked away from her. She wanted to apologize, this tension between them unwelcome.
He moved to the back of the truck and typed in a four-digit code.
“Fancy,” she said. “Do I get to know that?”
“Zero-eight-zero-four,” he said. “It’s my birthday.” Their eyes locked again while surprise rose through Scarlett.
“Like, August?” That was only a few weeks away, and Scarlett’s party-pl
anning gene kicked into gear.
“Yes,” he said. “Like August fourth.” He opened the door and pulled down a set of two steps. “Okay, so this is the front door.” He went up the steps and into the back of the truck, which somehow accommodated his height.
“There’s a shower right here,” he said. “I didn’t use it much, because you have to have water hookups and an outflow. But bathing is possible.” He pointed to his left. “Closet here. We’ll put your bag in there.”
He moved further into the camper, and she followed him, marveling at the built-in shower. “Is the water hot?”
“It has a twenty-gallon tank,” he said. “It’s good for one person, and then you have to wait a bit.” He gestured to the two-burner stovetop and sink on his left. “Kitchen here. Has a microwave and fridge. That’s what I mainly use when I’m on the road.” He turned but couldn’t take a step because of the table immediately on his right. “We eat here. Lots of seating. Step there up to the bed. That’s the part that hangs over the cab.”
“This is so nice,” Scarlett said. “What kind of wood is this?” She ran her fingers along the wall above the kitchen sink.
“Cedar,” he said.
“I had no idea it was all of this.” She smiled as she looked around. “You have everything you need in here.”
“No toilet,” he said.
“Well, besides that.” She linked her arm through his, and he turned sideways. That was all he could do, as the space between the chest-high sink and hotplate and the dining room table was only wide enough for one person. “I love this.”
“Yeah?” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
Scarlett wondered if those words could morph into I love you, and another tremor of fear ran through her. She tipped up to kiss his cheek, and said, “Yeah, this is so great.”
“It’s a comfortable enough bed,” he said.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She eyed the step like it might try to do her a personal wrong. “I don’t know if I can get up there.” It certainly wouldn’t allow her to stand upright, and she’d have to sort of flop over into the bed.
“Sure, you can,” he said. “And we’ll park somewhere by a bathroom.”
