by J. J. Dorn
July 10, 2009…
It had been almost one month since I first stepped foot in Jamieson Wellington’s house. I have been back several times but regardless, I always got extremely nervous driving down that long private driveway.
Tonight he had invited me to come over to watch a movie with him. I knew for a fact the guys were out. Audrey and Olivia were meeting up with them at Havens for drinks. Tonight we had the house to ourselves. Jamieson and I had been on a total of three dates but he had yet to really make a move. He was taking things painstakingly slow and it was killing me. Every second I was with him I waited; full of anticipation for that moment when he would let go of his carefully crafted boundaries. He had kissed me on several occasions but it was always just a gentle greeting or quick farewell. My mind craved more and my body demanded it. I was so tightly wound I felt like I could explode into flames at any moment of the day.
I pulled my car up behind Julian’s large Escalade that was sitting in the driveway. I took a steadying breath, checked my lip gloss in my rear view mirror and pushed the door open. As my eyes drew up toward the house I could feel him watching me. He was on the front porch in a worn pair of jeans and he was barefoot. The second our eyes met I felt my heart rate pick up and my stomach did a huge flip low in my belly. This man does sexy like it is his freaking day job.
“Hey baby,” he said, pulling me to his huge chest and kissing my forehead lightly.
“Hi Jamieson,” I greeted him shyly, hugging him back.
“Are you ready for our movie night?” he asked leading me into the house.
“Yes. What are we watching?” I asked curious.
“I have choices. I’ll let you pick.”
I followed him down the hall to the large living room. He strolled over to the large built-in shelves below the television. He pushed the wooden doors back to reveal row after row of DVD’s.
I perused his collection of movies for several minutes before I found one of my all-time favorite films. I quickly latched onto the case and handed it to him with a smile.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he stated, looking at my selection.
“What you don’t like that movie?” I felt a wave of disappointment.
“No. I love this movie. It is my all-time favorite. I just didn’t take you for a Wyatt Earp fan.” He said still looking surprised.
“I’ll be your huckleberry.” I stated with a sexy smile.
“That’s from Tombstone not Wyatt Earp.”
“I know. Tombstone is a close second favorite, but I prefer a Kevin Costner Wyatt to a Kurt Russell Wyatt.” I told him honestly.
Jamieson didn’t say anything he just smiled at me mischievously. When I felt like I couldn’t take it any longer I turned my head to the side, but his large hands grabbed the side of my cheeks and he pressed forward crushing his lips to mine. It took me a half a second to register what was happening before I greedily leaned forward opening my mouth to him. He immediately took control taking ahold of my hip with one of his hands guiding me squarely in front of him. He was ravenous, taking what he wanted from my lips and giving me so much in return. My head was swimming with desire and I loved every second of it. One thing was for sure. I had never in my life been kissed like this and I had a sinking suspicion Jamieson Wellington was the only man on earth capable of such a feat.
Jamieson lightly guided me backward while continuing to madly kiss me. When the back of my calves hit the side of the couch he lowered me to the soft fluffy cushions below. He broke our kiss as he climbed on top of me. His eyes roamed my face studying me. I felt myself get flushed from his intense gaze.
“You continue to surprise me, Jenna.”
A small smile spread on my lips. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Not in the least.” He said before he pressed his lips back down on top of mine.
I was getting drunk his kisses when I felt things take that inevitable shift from casual make-out to lust-filled frenzy.
Jamieson shifted above me sitting up. He lightly lifted the hem of my silk top up my torso. He did it painstakingly slow and I knew it was to give me time to object, but of course I did no such thing. When he lightly tossed my top on to the floor next to us I let out a small gasp. I wasn’t even sure I actually had made a sound until I saw Jamieson’s face. His eyes were hooded with desire as he watched me lying there half-naked on his couch. But it wasn’t just desire that was revealed, his eyes also sparkled with something I had never seen in a man’s eye before, the only way I can describe it was pure rapture.
As that revelation hit me I sprang forward almost attacking Jamieson, pulling at his t-shirt and kissing him with passion. He met my eagerness in stride and helped pull his shirt over his head and tossed it behind the back of the couch. I pulled at my navy blue lacy bra until it too found its way to the floor. The second my breasts were exposed I felt a wave of nervousness at being so revealed, but Jamieson washed all those thoughts from my mind as he lowered his mouth to my rosy nipples. His warm mouth felt like pure ecstasy. I lifted my rib cage and chest up toward Jamieson in appreciation. He received my invitation and hungrily wrapped one of his large arms around my torso locking myself to him. I felt his free hand begin to wander down under my jeans and I stiffened slightly. It was an involuntary reaction more than anything, but it was enough to make Jamieson pause.
“I’m sorry I’m going too fast,” he apologized as he gently pulled his hand out from underneath my jeans.
“No, no sorry it’s just…” What do I freaking say now? No it’s just me?
“Jenna, what is it? Did I do something wrong?” his voice reflected the concern showing on his face.
My heart raced with worry. I didn’t want Jamieson to stop, but I am just not really experienced. Sure I had had sex before, but the grand total of six times that I had done it with my college boyfriend couldn’t have prepared me for this.
“No you didn’t. I’m just I’m not very good at this.” I told him shyly with red growing across my cheeks.
“I don’t really know what that means, Jenna.” Crap what do I say? Do I tell him the truth?
“I just mean…I uh…I am not very experienced is all,” I blurted out.
I didn’t want to look at him but I was curious to see how he would take that information. When I did finally meet his gaze, what I saw shocked me yet again. I had thought I might see confusion or rejection but instead I was met with wantonness.
“I know that.”
“You do?” He did?
“Yes.” Oh great, it was that obvious.
I attempted to retreat backwards on the couch a bit to escape his overwhelming presence.
Two large hands pinned me down halting my movement. “That isn’t a bad thing, Jenna.” He let out a deep sigh and softly glided his hands up to rest on my shoulders. “I knew you were innocent, Jenna. That is part of the reason I was attracted to you the first night we met.”
“Oh,” I replied trying to reconcile what he was saying with my brain.
“Jenna, are you a virgin?”
His words shocked me at first. He thought I was a virgin? Really? I may not be experienced but I am by no means a virgin.
“No!” I exclaimed.
“I’m sorry. I just had to ask.” Jamieson looked a bit sheepish now.
I didn’t know what to say to him after that. He had thought I was a virgin, which I was not but now I wondered if he was disappointed at that fact. “Look I’m not a virgin but I might as well be one. I have only had sex a handful of times with my college boyfriend.” I couldn’t have screwed this up more if I tried. He probably thinks I am a total spaz and wants nothing to do with my crazy ass. This man can have his pick of women and I can almost guarantee they are playing with a much better skill set than I am.
I reached down to grab my top from the floor, but Jamieson again stopped me. “Look, you can’t say things like that to me, okay?” He reached up and ran his long fingers threw his sandy blonde hair. I yearned to do the sam
e thing but I had dowsed the entire situation with some ice-cold water with my inexperience. “You can’t tell me things like that.” he repeated again.
“Okay…” I was beyond confused. Was he mad that I wasn’t a virgin or that I might as well be one?
He must have noticed my puzzlement because he let out deep sigh and started again. “I can’t hear about you being with another man, Jenna. I don’t ever want to hear about that. While you are with me it is only you and me baby, we are the only ones that exist. Do you understand me?” Whoa, not what I expected.
“Alright.”
“For the record you being a virgin wouldn’t have scared me, in fact it probably would have driven me insane, but it also would mean I couldn’t ravage you the way I intend to,” he confessed with the sexiest grin. I felt my stomach plummet to the bottom of my long torso at his words.
He pushed me down so my back was once again flat against the couch as he climbed back on top of me. My mind went completely still as he began kissing me hungrily. I wanted this man. With my ex, I had been more than a willing participant in our limited sexual escapades but—I didn’t crave his touch, I didn’t burn for him, not like I do with Jamieson.
It was that realization that spurred something alive inside me and I began ripping at Jamison’s buttons on his jeans. I was desperate to see all of him and feel his skin on my own. He let out a deep growl and helped me undo his pants. In one fluid movement his pants and boxers were off. A wave of anxiousness hit me as it occurred to me that it was now my turn. Jamieson took his time undoing my jeans and sliding them slowly down my legs. Once he cast them aside next to the couch his eyes settled on my one remaining clothing item, my navy lace thong.
“Are you sure, Jenna?” he questioned, quickly glancing up at me.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He then slipped his fingers inside the waist of my lacy thong and pulled it too from my body. When the cold air from the air conditioning hit me I immediately felt a bit embarrassed, I was more than ready for Jamieson. He had worked me up into a total frenzy that my body had betrayed me and was surely revealing how much I wanted him.
Jamieson wasted no time. He slid down my body settling between my legs. As I realized what he was about to do next panic struck me.
“Jamieson I…I never…” I couldn’t find my words. I couldn’t think at all but I was still nervous as to what was to come.
“I know baby, just relax.” he said simply before his mouth met my pink soft folds. I shuddered from the intensity and the warmth of his tongue.
“Amazing, fucking amazing.” Jamieson muttered softly before thrusting his tongue deep inside of me. I let out a deep gasp in return.
My limited sexual experiences had never included this, but I was quickly seeing what I was missing. It felt amazing and I was positive Jamieson Wellington was more than equipped to show me what the hype was all about.
It didn’t take long for me to feel the incredible burning low in my belly and I knew I was close to being a goner. Jamieson must have known this too because he seemed to only increase his intensity as I climbed higher and higher. When I finally came apart and let go it was the most overwhelming feeling. I had obviously had orgasms before but this was different, there was something primal that broke free in me. I had cracked and lost all control. My body was no longer my own, it was completely Jamieson’s and he knew it.
“You are so gorgeous, baby.” He slid back up my body and reached across me to get something out of the small table next to the couch.
I watched as he pulled a small foil package out of the drawer from the table. He quickly opened it and began rolling it on his incredible length. I hadn’t had time earlier to fully appreciate all of Jamieson before, but now I had a full view of him and all his glory. Looking at him, I felt uneasy as I tried to calculate exactly how his long thick length would fit inside of me.
He noticed my panic because he simply smiled up at me and said “Relax, remember?”
I tried to do as he said but it was difficult. I am not the type of person that can just shut my brain off easily; it seems to always be on overdrive analyzing everything.
“I promise I will make this feel good, baby.”
I felt Jamieson position himself at my entrance and took in a deep breath right before he began pushing inside me. I remembered the first time I had sex and the tight pain that accompanied it. This was thankfully not as uncomfortable but there was a slow burn and tightness as Jamieson intruded his way to my inner depths.
He paused when he was seated completely within me. I let out a labored breath and gripped his back. I was more than ready for him.
“I’m going to move now, okay?” he asked looking deep into my eyes.
“Okay.” I shut my eyes, preparing for the ecstasy that I knew awaited me.
“Look at me, Jenna. I want you to look at me, baby.”
I pried my eyes open and found his hungry eyes waiting for me. The minute our eyes met I felt what I always felt when I looked deep into his beautiful navy eyes; complete desire. It was our own form of silent communication. To an outsider it probably would look like nothing more than attraction between us, but what was truly happening was so much more. Looking back it was even more than I could totally understand.
CHAPTER FIVE
It was Sunday and I knew he would be home from Vegas finally. I had spent the last two days holed-up in my apartment contemplating my next move. Audrey and Olivia had come over several times to check on me and offer their support, but I knew I would have to go the next step alone. I needed to go see Cain. I had avoided talking to him on the phone because I didn’t want to admit I was home yet. I needed time to think and get a clear plan. I had done that and now I knew the time had come for some serious confessions, but first I needed the engagement ring Cain had given me. I didn’t know for sure if Jamieson had it or not but it was my only hope. There was a chance I may have lost it, but something told me Jamieson had it.
I pulled into that long gated driveway and I felt completely nauseous. The last time I had driven down this road I was fleeing with only tiny scraps of what used to be my heart. I vowed that day I would never return but here I was.
I parked my car and stormed up to the large wooden door punching the doorbell button.
“Well look what the cat drug -in. You bring your stuff?” Julian asked between taking huge bites of his sandwich he was eating.
I glared at him. “Where is Jamieson?”
“Upstairs,” he jerked his head in the direction of the stairs.
I didn’t say anything further I just continued past him and up the stairs.
“Keep it down you newlyweds.” Julian hollered back at me as I made my ascent. So he had told his friends, interesting.
When I reached his bedroom door it was closed. I pounded on it with my fist.
The door swung open and I came face-to-face with a very pissed off looking Jamieson Wellington.
“Jenna,” he said my name bitterly.
“I need the ring Jamieson.” There was no need for chit-chat, I was all business.
“You have a ring. Actually you have two from what I can see.” he replied looking down at my left hand.
“Cut the shit. Where is it?” I narrowed my eyes and balled my fists willing myself to hold back.
“Why do you need it?”
“Because it’s mine and I need it back. Just give it to me.” I was exasperated with his games.
“Tell me why,” he challenged.
“Fine! Obviously I will have to give it back to him when I go tell him that I fucked you and married you instead at my Bachelorette party. I can’t imagine he will want to marry me now.” I was shaking with rage. Jamieson had always had a way of making my crazy and it seems nothing had changed in that department.
Jamieson didn’t say anything he just retreated into his room. I didn’t follow, I couldn’t, that room held too many memories of us.
“Here.” He held out a small red Cartier box.
“Thank you.” I pulled back the lid on the box to make sure my engagement ring was in fact inside. To my relief it was. I pulled off the rings on my left hand and offered them to Jamieson. “Here these are yours.”
“No I bought them for you. They are yours.” He pushed my hand away.
“Whatever.” I snapped, sliding them in my jeans pocket. I turned and headed back down the stairs. I knew we had more to discuss, but first I needed to talk to Cain. The rest could be sorted out later.
When I reached the bottom stair I heard a female’s voice behind me. I told myself not to look back but I did it anyways.
“Who’s that, baby?” A very scantily-clad brunette purred as she came to stand next to Jamieson at the top of the stairs. He had come out of his room to watch me leave. Apparently they both had. Well I hoped she heard my little outburst about her boyfriend being married to me!
“Fucking classic!” I screamed with a glare before slamming the front door behind me.
When I got into my car and headed down the long driveway I let the tears freely fall. I knew I shouldn’t let him affect me that way but I couldn’t help it, he had wrecked me and not just once. I kind of always knew he would, but back then I had hoped it would be in the good way, not in the life-destroying, soul-crushing, never-going-back kind of way. Shit, was I ever wrong!
I pulled up to the townhouse that I had practically been living at for the last year. Cain had purchased it after we had graduated law school and passed the bar in Alabama. I parked the car and hesitated fighting the waves of nausea that were hitting me. I pulled out the ring Cain had given me from my sleek black leather hand bag and slipped it on my left hand one last time.
Cain answered the door right away looking happy to see me home safe and sound from my trip to Vegas. I felt horrible knowing I was about to ruin everything we had created.
He moved paper work and his laptop off the sofa to make room for us to sit down. I knew he had a huge case he was working on and he was spending every waking minute writing his brief.
