by J. J. Dorn
As I drove home I began to rack my brain as to why Jamieson would be acting this way. I wondered if perhaps it was my confession from the other night in the car. That was my only idea because we hadn’t argued over anything. Then I began thinking, like most woman do in these types of situations, is it me? Is he no longer into me? To this I had no answer, although it seemed unlikely as the one area of our relationship which did seem spot on was our sex life. We couldn’t get enough of each other. Most nights we had sex until Jamieson had his fill and I was so sedated I finally passed out. But like most nights, I would wake to find an empty bed and Jamieson sleeping in his study. It wasn’t a new development in our relationship but I would have been lying had I said it didn’t bother me. It seemed as though Jamieson could never truly rest, always making work a priority.
The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced it was work that was the real issue between us. I decided the best thing to do would be to surprise him at his house. I thought perhaps I could get him to rest a little and maybe pry out of him what was bothering him at work. If only I had known what was really in store for me.
It was just past midnight when I pulled up to the house. Every light in the place looked as though it was on and several cars were parked in the driveway. Julian and Derrick were most likely throwing themselves a little party. I opened the front door and caught sight of a very shirtless Derrick chasing after a half-naked leggy blonde.
“Hey J!” He waved as he finagled the girl into his room shutting the door.
I continued down the hall toward the kitchen to find several people, most of whom I didn’t know drinking and laughing. I continued through the house in search of Jamieson but only found Julian. He was in his favorite reclining chair playing Grand Theft Auto with a very naked girl on his lap. What the fuck?
“Jenna!” He yelled when he spotted me.
“Hey Julian. Is Jamieson home?” I asked pissed. What was he doing? I thought he was into Olivia?
I turned red just watching the dark haired girl that was naked on Julian’s lap. She however, couldn’t have cared less that I was in the room. Where in the hell did they find these tramps?
“Yeah, he has been here a while. Was in the kitchen doing shots with us but I don’t know where he is now. Check his room, he probably is tired from his flight and the ridiculous amounts of whiskey he just downed.”
I spun around on my heels and stormed off up the stairs. I was livid. The fact that he had come home and decided to get piss-assed drunk, not even bothering to call me was too much. I was raging. I was going to give him a piece of my mind.
The grand double doors to his bedroom were closed so I flung them open hoping to startle him awake. Unfortunately for me it was me who was awakened, and it was to a cold harsh reality no one would even wish on their worst enemy.
Jamieson was indeed in his bed, but he was not alone or asleep. In horror I watched as two women turned their heads in utter shock to look at me. I gasped holding my throat as if I was unable to get air. I tried to speak, I tried to scream but nothing came out.
Jamieson broke the silence. “Jenna, what the fuck are you doing here?”
And just like that my heart shattered into a trillion tiny pieces as I realized the man I had given my heart to was a complete and total liar.
I backed out of the door and ran down the stairs two at a time. Looking back now, I don’t know why I was running. There was no reason to run, he wasn’t coming after me. The chase was over. He was the hunter, I was the hunted and this had been his kill.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“I’m going to tell you everything, Jenna. I know I can’t right the wrongs I have committed but I do hope it may shed some light on what happened back then.”
I nodded my head indicating I understood he was about to reveal some hard truths. I clutched my knees and settled deep into the couch readying myself for what was to come.
Jamieson leaned forward on the edge of the couch, almost in defeat. “The night you found me…No, wait I need to start back further.” I watched him readjust himself on the couch nervously before he started again. “When my father died, two years before we met, it was sudden. I had been working for the company but I was not privy to all the financial information. I was young and naive. Partying and having fun was my primary focus in life not the company, I let my dad and Uncle Phillip shoulder that burden. But when he died from a heart attack everything changed. In his will, I was named as his successor. I was ill prepared for the role I was stepping into. I quickly learned the company was in real trouble. Dad had leveraged basically the entire company to put in the new distillery. We were over extended and in dire trouble. I tried for two years to get loans from banks to help cover all of our costs but not one would lend to us. I was just about to start selling off assets and laying off employees when Uncle Phillip presented me with another option.”
He swallowed hard giving himself a moment to catch his breath. I was more confused than ever. I had always known there were problems with the company and he was working himself ragged back then but he refused to confide in me. I was glad to finally know what pressure he was truly under but what did any of this have to do with me?
I rubbed my temples at an attempt to ease my boggled mind. “Jamieson, I appreciate you telling me this but I still don’t see how any of this forced you to cheat on me.”
He let out a deep sigh and started again. “I’m getting to that just bear with me. So Uncle Phillip presented me with another option, one I had not thought of but knew it would save the company. It was perfect, in theory. The only problem was I had met you.” He said fixating his blue eyes on mine. “When I met you it changed everything. I became infatuated with you quickly, but you already know that. I couldn’t get enough of you. I wanted to spend every waking moment with you, day and night. I was obsessed. I had never experienced anything like that in my entire life. You changed me, Jenna and because of that I couldn’t go through with the plan, or so I thought.”
“For a few months, the company limped along and we scrapped by but right before we went to Aspen to celebrate Christmas, I had a meeting with the board. They informed me we had less than a year to continue to operate before we would have to declare bankruptcy. I was out of options. I had called in every last favor, borrowing money from everyone I could possibly think of and then some. Uncle Phillip of course knew all of this and was getting increasingly frustrated with my refusal to go along with the plan. He kept berating me and telling me I was just distracted by you. In Aspen, it all came to a head and Phillip forced my hand.” Jamieson paused again rubbing the back of his head and staring at the ground.
“Jamieson, I still don’t understand. What does this have to do with me?”
“It has everything to do with you because the plan was for me to marry Lars and Violet’s daughter, Trinity.”
I gasped. “What?”
Jamieson was quiet for a long few minutes before he started his twisted tale again. “Lars and Violet own a chain of restaurants and bars all through Europe. Their brand is a powerhouse and a merger of our whisky brand with their businesses would have breathed new life into Wellington Whiskey. Trinity is their only child. On her thirtieth birthday, she was to inherit almost half of the company’s stock. One day she will inherit it all but even just half of the company’s stock would have been enough leverage for my company. It would have been the ultimate merger of sorts.”
“So you were going to marry her just to get her family’s fortune? That is despicable, Jamieson, even for you.”
He winced at my words but continued on. “I couldn’t go through with it. I tried of course, but I couldn’t. I knew in Aspen it was the company’s last hope so I had to at least try, so I did. I decided I was going to end things between us but it was so hard. I couldn’t do it. I tried to distance myself from you slowly but that wasn’t working. Every time I was around you, I was consumed. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t pull the trigger and end us. When Uncle Philli
p called me to a meeting in New York on Valentine’s Day, I knew it was his way of trying to put a wedge between us and I let him. I spent a few days in New York planning what I needed to do next before I flew home.”
I hopped up from the couch and began to pace. I was beginning to seethe. “When you say plan things you mean, figure out which two hookers you were going to screw and then let me walk in on it, right?”
“Not exactly, no. I was making plans for my move to London. I knew I would need to relocate to where Trinity was so I could begin a relationship with her.”
“I don’t think I can hear any more of this. You make me fucking sick, you know that?” He didn’t flinch this time at my harsh words.
“I know that. I make myself sick thinking of the things I did. But please just let me finish you need to hear the entire story.”
“Fine, but I have a question first.” I told him and crossed my arms over my chest settling down on the couch.
“What is it Jenna?” He asked in barely a whisper holding his head in his hands.
His face revealed the pain he was carrying around and I softened slightly. “Why did you have to cheat on me? Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted to end things? Why did you have to cut me so deeply?” It was an honest question. It made no sense to me that he couldn’t have just ended things and walked away.
“There was no way I could have sat you down and lied to you like that. You would have seen right through my lies. You would have seen how heartbroken I was. I convinced myself on the plane ride home I had to show you I wasn’t worth loving. I also knew it would be a clean break for you. You would believe I was a cheater and you would end up hating me. I knew it would hurt you but I also knew it would give you a chance to move on. There would be no loose ends. I hadn’t planned the party at the house though. That was just a perfectly timed coincidence. So I texted you trying to blow you off and I knew you would show up. And I was right.”
“You killed me that day, Jamieson. A part of me broke so hard I don’t think it will ever be right again. You are such a coward. I hope it was all worth it,” I said shaking my head in disbelief.
“It wasn’t,” he said immediately. “I made the worst decision based upon fear and desperation. Nothing good can come out of such circumstances. You said earlier today was the worst day of your life. Well for me the worst day of my life was the night I betrayed you. It will always haunt me Jenna.”
I let Jamieson’s words absorb into my skin like fresh steam in the shower, but they did little to heal the pain that was still bubbling at the surface. “So what happened? You obviously didn’t marry Trinity otherwise she wouldn’t be busting down my door to stake her claim.”
“No, I didn’t marry Trinity,” he huffed out and readjusted on the couch. I could tell what he was about to tell me was going to be equally as bad. “I did move to London. It was about a week after I came home from New York. I went there for the sole purpose of pursuing Trinity and convincing her to marry me. I knew it wasn’t going to be a quick process but one that took months and maybe years. I committed myself to do whatever I needed to do in order to save the company. Trinity’s thirtieth birthday was over a year away so I had some time to work on it if I needed. I should have known better though. I have known Trinity her entire life. Our families have always been friends and so we practically grew up together. It was natural for me to reach out to her when I got to London in search of a friendly face. Trinity was excited to have me around and we began spending a lot of time together. We quickly started dating and I thought the plan was working perfectly.”
Jamieson paused for a half a second and I jumped in.
“I don’t get it…why didn’t you keep dating Trinity and just marry her? She seems to think you two are still together even though you adamantly deny it.”
“I know you don’t understand but Jenna, just please let me finish,” he pleaded.
I nodded indicating I would shut-up and let him continue.
“Everything was going according to plan. We had been dating for almost a year and Trinity’s birthday was just around the corner. I was planning on proposing soon. I went to see Lars to ask for his blessing and that’s where things took a drastic turn. It was the middle of the afternoon on a weekend and I knew Lars usually was home at his grand estate in the Northampton. When I got there though he wasn’t home, but Violet was. She told me Lars was out golfing and would be home soon so I decided to wait not wanting to make the drive out to Northampton twice. I should have seen it coming, Violet was like a second mother to me. I should have known she would have seen through my bullshit.”
He shook his head almost like he was trying to get loose of his past indiscretions but they were clearly catching up with him. He breathed deep and continued.
“She confronted me while we had tea in the kitchen. She told me she knew I wasn’t in love with her daughter and that I never would be. I was at a total loss. I tried to convince her she was wrong but finally after going round and round with her I caved and admitted the truth. It was odd but she didn’t seem surprised. She told me that Lars and she had suspected what my true motives were. It seems they both were aware of what a desperate situation Wellington Whiskey was in and they knew I was willing to do anything to save the legacy my father had built.”
“What the hell? Why was Violet so understanding? I would have given you a piece of my mind and then kicked you out of my house for the shameful way you treated my daughter.”
“I think most people would have, but Lars and Violet are thankfully not most people, they are special. Lars arrived at home during my confession to Violet and he joined us listening to my disgraceful behavior. He was disappointed and upset for what I had done but said he could understand why I did it. It was cathartic finally coming clean about what my real motives were and all of the struggles with the company. As I was telling them everything I knew I was likely going to lose everything and I was slowly accepting that. But what Lars and Violet did next thoroughly shocked me.”
“What did they do?” I asked engrossed in the twisted tale he was spinning before me.
I couldn’t imagine it getting any crazier, but boy was I wrong.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
April 14, 2010…
It had been exactly two months since my disastrous breakup with Jamieson, if you could even call it a breakup. It was more like a wake up instead of a breakup. I think you have to actually be dating someone to breakup with them and I’m not sure you can actually be in a relationship with someone you don’t know at all. So I have decided that we weren’t actually together it was all just a figment of my imagination, or that is what I just keep telling myself as a sad attempt to feel better.
I haven’t talked to him since that day nor has he tried to contact me. I had thought he may chase after me as I ran away from his mansion of horrors but nope. There had been no contact, complete radio silence. I vowed to myself that night as I sped down his private drive that I would never go back to that house and I most certainly would never speak to him again, it was done.
“Happy Birthday, Jens!” My sister called from down the barn aisle. She was just putting one of her favorite horses away after her ride.
“Thanks.” I said glumly walking toward her.
I watched as she brushed down the horse and leaned against the stall door. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. It was my birthday and I was miserable. I literally felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and then stomped on. I didn’t care that it was my birthday I just wanted to be left alone, but I had agreed to come over to my sister's for a birthday dinner.
“Everyone is up at the house,” she told me. Jacks and Lukas had built a beautiful home on the farm property. It was convenient having the house so close to the barn for Jacks.
“I’ll go find them.” I turned to head in that direction.
“Jens…wait.” Jacks had stopped brushing the horse and walked toward me.
“What?” I asked.
&nb
sp; “How are you doing? Are you okay? You look like absolute shit,” she asked giving me a half smile.
“I don’t really know anymore. Some days are better than others, today is not so great.” I replied shrugging my shoulders.
“Has he tried to contact you?” she quizzed.
“Nope.”
“Have you tried to contact him?”
“Hell no!” I snapped.
“I was just asking. I could understand if you had,” she said softly.
“I refuse to chase after someone who clearly doesn’t want me and probably never did.” I told her defiantly.
“Do you really think that?” Jacks questioned.
“Do I really believe I won’t chase him? Or do I really believe he never wanted me?” I asked confused at her question.
“Do you really think he never wanted you?” she clarified.
I let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know Jacks. I just don’t know anymore. I never thought he would have done what he did so I have no clue.”
She thought about what I said as she went past me to put her brushes away in the tack room. I rolled the stall door shut and followed her.
“Do you want to know what I think?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“Alright you need to sit down for this,” she said pointing towards a huge tack box across from her.
I obliged her and sat down.
“I think he loved you or does love you—”
I cut her off immediately. “Jacks, you know that’s not true.”
“Look do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”
“Yes.” I said in defeat. I knew this wasn’t going to be what I wanted to hear but I also knew my sister was wise beyond her years and whatever she had to tell me would help heal my wounds.
“The reason I say I think he loved you is because this is exactly what I went through with Ethan.” she stated coolly, leaning back against her big wood desk in the corner of the tack room. “I know I haven’t told you the whole story of what happened between Ethan and I but now is probably the right time to share it. We were in love, that I have absolutely no doubt of. We were insane for each other. We spent every waking minute with each other. It happened fast and I just knew. He awakened something in me that I didn’t know was there and I knew I did the same for him. Thinking back about it, it was mad. I had never felt like that before. The way he made me feel was out of this world, Jenna. I know you know what I’m talking about because I could see that is how Jamieson made you feel. I could also see that he felt the same about you. The way he looked at you said it all. He was wrapped up in you.” Jacks paused and let out a breath. I could see she was reliving the things with her and Ethan.
