by Susan Adrian
I mean that. Except the working part. I don’t want Myka or Lucas working for anyone.
“Send your soldiers away, right now. I’m tired of looking at them. You don’t need them anymore.”
I can feel Smith inside, like I could Eric. Shifting, protesting. He’s livid, of course. I’m going to have to leave his body unconscious or something, or he’ll kill me as soon as he’s back in control.
I think Dad’s lost it, with everything that’s happened. He’s still motionless. But then he waves a hand, says a word, and the soldiers all back away. Down the hall, out of sight.
I can’t believe he’d give in that easily. He’d really let Smith have all of us, without a fight?
No, that’s what I want.
I breathe easier. The goon has my body almost at the bottom of the ladder now. It looks like I passed out, and I hope they all think that’s what it is. Lucas is almost there too. Liesel has her arm around Dedushka, and Myka is up, blinking, standing dazedly with Mom.
We’ll get out. We’re going to do it.
“What are you going to do, Jake?” Dad says, staring straight at me—at Smith. “You’re not going to be able to stay in him long enough.”
I take a deep breath, shocked, and Smith pushes back somehow. He almost shoves me out.
“Let’s go,” I say, in a strangled voice. “I’m sick of this place. Get out now.”
Dad folds his arms. “He’s strong, isn’t he? He’s not like the others you’ve taken over: weak or confused. He knows what you’re doing, and he doesn’t like it.”
The goon with my body pauses, looks at me questioningly.
“Put the gun away and get him up there,” I say, for all the world like Smith would. “I’ve got this.” I shakily pull Smith’s gun out, point it at Dad. “Don’t follow us. I’ll kill Jake. You know I will.”
The goon throws my body over his shoulder and steps onto the ladder. The hatch is open now, and I can see stars through it. I stare at them, in case they’re the only stars I see again. No. Only a little bit farther.
Dad takes a step forward. “I know very well that you won’t.”
Mom and Myk are almost to the ladder. Mom has guessed what’s going on—I can tell by the set of her shoulders. But she keeps going. They have to take advantage of this chance. Myk’s still groggy. She probably doesn’t even really know where she is.
Liesel stops and turns, with Dedushka’s good arm draped over her shoulder. His eyes are bright, alert, though he’s drooping a little. I don’t think being shot in the shoulder is life-threatening, unless he goes into shock. But it can’t feel good.
Liesel studies us, me and Dad, and sets her jaw. There’s one more goon left, standing there at the bottom watching us too.
“I can’t let you do this,” Dad says. He sounds frantic now. “I need you, Jake. You most of all. I need you. I can’t let you go.”
There’s a lump in Smith’s throat. I swallow past it. The gun in his hand shakes ridiculously. Dad takes a step closer. Myk starts up the ladder.
They need to escape. No matter what else happens, they need to escape.
“I’m going to let them get up there safe,” Dad whispers, so just Liesel, Dedushka and I can hear it. “Then I’m going to kill Smith. You’ll pop back into your body—you’ve done it before. Then my soldiers will surround you, up there. This is my territory, Jake. Without Smith his men won’t fight. I’ll have you all back down here before the sun’s up.” His mouth hardens. “All of you. And you’ll be lucky if you ever see the sun again.”
Dedushka and Liesel stop, but keep walking towards the ladder, heads together. I’m the one frozen now, like Dad was. I can’t move an inch in Smith’s stolen body.
I can see it, just like Dad said. He will do that. And then I’ll really be done. He won’t trust Liesel anymore. He’ll never trust me again. There won’t be any second chances. We’ll all be stuck down here, forever.
“Kill him,” Liesel says, soft. They’re right next to me. I’m sure Dad can’t hear. “Then go. I’ll take care of Smith, and the other man. It’s the only thing you can do. The only thing that will stop it.”
Kill him. She means kill my own father.
I shudder, and almost lose control of Smith again. How could she say that? I can’t do that.
Dad laughs. “You know he won’t, Liesel. He’d never pull that trigger.”
Myk’s stopped halfway up the ladder, Mom at the bottom, looking down. They see Smith, but they know it’s me. If I pull the trigger they’ll know I killed Dad.
He holds his hands up, unarmed. Maybe he did hear—and he’s making it harder. Like this it would be murder. Cold, heartless murder of my own father.
But she’s right, it would stop everything. All of this, it comes from Dad. The General behind him, but Dad is the one who makes it happen. Without Dad, without Smith, we would all be free. At least of this place. We’d have a chance. With him standing there, we have nothing.
I’ve wondered before if I could do it if I had to. I’ve thought how he isn’t really the Dad I knew anymore. How he’s disappeared, into this creature who only cares about power.
I brace my other hand on the gun, make sure it’s cocked. Dad stops, his arms still up, only a foot away. He shakes his head. Just like he used to when I disappointed him with homework, with a million tiny things he didn’t like. He’s my dad. How can he just want to use me? How can he want to use Lucas, and experiment on Myka? He should want to protect us. He should take care of us.
I despise him.
Smith pushes, hard, and I’m sticking. I’m starting to get lost inside him. Dad’s right. Even with the new improved power, I won’t last much longer.
I need to do it now. This is my only chance to stop Dad. And then Liesel will stop Smith.
I look down the barrel at eyes just like mine.
“We can work together,” he says, his voice breaking. “That’s all I want. All I’ve ever wanted. I can have a power too. We can be partners. We can be a super family.”
My fingers—Smith’s fingers—feel hot on the trigger. I aim, tighten my finger…
I take a breath. I can’t do it. He’s still my father.
Before I even loosen the grip Dedushka slides forward, scoops it from my hand, and shoots. No hesitation. Dead-center in the middle of Dad’s forehead, just like Liesel shot Eric.
Dad falls, lifeless, to the floor.
Something in me breaks. Time gives up completely.
He’s dead. Really dead this time. No hiding in a secret base, pretending. No coming back. Dead. Gone.
Myk didn’t see. She’s already at the top. But Mom did. She sobs, still climbing up.
I can’t breathe properly. Smith pushes against me, strong, making me stagger. I can’t stay.
“Hold still,” Liesel whispers. “That’s all you need to do. Hold still.”
I turn. Her gun is out, steady, pointed at me. I swallow, stare into the barrel, keep a firm hold on Smith for a second longer, and hold still.
She fires. It all goes black.
55
JAKE
I Lived by OneRepublic
I open my eyes to the sound of arguing. Male voices, heavy. And a thin, high one. Lucas.
I scramble to my feet, trying to orient myself. It’s flat here, the pale stretch of dirt reflecting the half-moon, but with hills all around crowding in. It’s hidden. The air is so much cooler, fresher, than down there. Myka and Mom are sitting a few feet away, huddled up with their knees to their chests, with two of Smith’s men looming over them.
The other one is struggling to contain Lucas, who’s yelling and twisting to get away.
I leap in without even thinking, my adrenaline still pumping. I’m in my own body, and I don’t have anything to worry about from Smith or Dad. Ever again.
I launch myself at the Jones, a tackle right at the middle, and take him down, landing hard on top of him. Lucas runs to Mom and Myka, but the other two goons reach out for him.
> “STOP,” I say. They don’t listen, of course. They grab for Lucas. “Smith’s dead. He’s not coming back. You can just stop.”
The man under me frowns and shoves me off. He gets up, quick for a big guy, and is about to go at me again when his phone buzzes, loud. He swears, but he must believe me a little. He pulls it out of his inside pocket, glances at the screen.
“He’s right,” he says to the other one, his voice distant. “Mr. Smith is dead. Blake is coming up. We can go.”
The one with a hand on Lucas smiles, runs a hand over his buzzcut. He glances at me, his eyes white in the moonlight. “Hell yeah. We can finally get away from that bastard.”
There’s a clattering and the fourth one comes up the hatch, head popping up first like a mushroom. He clasps the hand of the big one, looks at us once. I almost wish the nice-ish one, the one who let me escape—Bradley—was here.
“Good luck,” the biggest one says. The blond one. I’m trying to figure out if that’s sincere or ominous, but they turn easily and walk off together, down a hill. The four of them together in their matching suits.
I sit, panting, on the dirt. Lucas grins at me. “I guess Mr. Smith didn’t exactly inspire loyalty,” he says.
I wonder if Smith was paying them well, or if he had some hold on all of them to make them stay. Like Bunny.
Bunny. Vladimir. Dad. Too many people have died. I don’t know how to feel about any of it. Mostly I feel numb, as the adrenaline drains away.
“Jake,” Myk says. “What happened? We heard two gunshots.”
I close my eyes for a second. Swallow. Then I look at them, my mom and my sister, scruffy and tired. But whole, free again. That’s the good part. That’s what I have to remember. “Dad’s dead.”
Mom takes a deep, shaky breath. Myk’s eyes are too bright. She pulls her knees tighter. “Did you…?”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t a choice,” I whisper. “He was going to keep all of us there, for the rest of our lives.” I don’t explain any more than that, for now. They don’t need to know that Dedushka did it. It’s enough. I go to them, wrap my arms around both of them tight.
“He wasn’t himself anymore,” Mom murmurs. “He was something else. Something…monstrous, when he wanted to use you. It was all he could think about.”
“Jekyll and Hyde,” Myka says, low.
I’m still watching the hatch. Liesel and Dedushka should be up here soon too. “It’ll be okay,” I say. “The other shot was Smith. He’s dead too.”
Tension goes out of them both. I stand. Lucas is standing too, a little on the outside. But grinning for real now, almost like a kid should grin. “Really?” he asks. “He’s really dead?”
“For sure. He’s not coming after you ever again. Any of us.”
“Thank God,” Mom says.
I strain my eyes to see in the dark, hoping for a blonde head and a gray one to appear, and make the family complete.
“Jacob.” Liesel’s voice floats up, and I launch myself over there, stare down. She’s standing at the bottom, one hand on the ladder, alone.
“Here.”
“I think you need to come back down.”
My gut clenches. That’s bad. There are still soldiers down there, and they might still act without Dad, lock me up again. Is Dedushka okay? I know he was shot, but I thought he’d be up here already, growling at us.
I look back at Mom, Myk. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” Mom nods, one arm still around Myk. Lucas steps closer to them, like he’s their protector now.
I take a deep breath of fresh air and head back down to the base. It’s harder going down the ladder than going up. My feet keep slipping on the rungs.
When I get to the bottom Liesel is with Dedushka, who’s lying on the floor. Dad’s body is still lying there too, and Smith’s. I stand there for a second, unable to move.
“Get over here,” Liesel says, her usual self. “He’s fine, Jacob. He just passed out.”
I breathe. I kneel on the hard floor, take his hand. His eyes are open, the gray-blue pinned on me. He smiles through the beard.
“Is he going to be okay?” I glance at Liesel, on the other side of him. I squeeze his hand. “I need you, crazy old man.”
He squeezes back, his gaze steady. “I will be, da. It is only…” He jerks his chin at his shoulder. “This fool thing. It makes me weak.”
“You can’t move him out, or take him on the road right now,” Liesel says. “I wouldn’t even take him up that ladder. He got dizzy when he tried, and lost consciousness. He needs to stay here, see a doctor.”
“She is right for one time,” Dedushka says, loud, and Liesel flinches. I almost laugh. “I will be all right here without John, without evil Smith. I have no power to use.”
“Will he?” I ask her. “Will you stay here with him, make sure he’s all right?”
The answer is immediate. “Of course. I will take care of him.”
I remember the evil mother taking care of me in Montauk, and I believe her. “I should go,” I say. “Get back to them.”
“Wait.” Dedushka grips my hand, strong. “Yakob. We will be apart for a little while. I have one more thing to say, yes?”
I nod. I wouldn’t have made it without him. I would never have made it out of Montauk. He can say as much as he wants. “Yes. Of course.”
“Use it for good.”
Liesel stiffens. He ignores her, his eyes on mine. “It is all right you have it again. It is part of you—I understand.” He smiles, almost a grimace. “It is my legacy. But it is up to you to use it right.”
I nod, touch his hand. “I will. I love you, Grandpa.” I say it to tease him, to prove to myself that he’s really going to be okay. Then wait for the reaction.
He grimaces for real, and flings my hand off. “Do not use that tedious word.” Then he waves toward the ladder. “Go. I will see you soon.”
I run, climb until my head’s in the air again. They’re standing there huddled together, waiting. Except Rachel’s there too now. She looks bad, beaten by that asshole. Bruises all over, her hand wrapped in a towel sling. But she smiles at me, and my heart flips.
“He’s going to be okay,” I say. “But he needs to stay here until he is. Liesel is getting a doctor.”
Relief splashes over their faces. Rachel steps forward to crush me in a hug. I crush back, my face in her hair. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so sorry.”
She hiccups, and I think she’s going to cry. She was hurt because of me. Badly. But he’s gone—they’re both gone—and she’s going to be okay. “We’re all okay,” she says. “We won.”
I hold her closer, looking at my family together over her shoulder. We’re together, and we may have broken bits, but we’re mostly okay. I guess we did win.
*
A few minutes later, we hear footsteps on the ladder. We all cringe, in case it’s some new danger—we really should get out of here…somewhere. But it’s a blonde head. Liesel. She pulls herself up, and brushes off her pants.
“Jacob? May I speak with you please?”
Reluctantly I let go of Rachel. She crushes my hand, once, and heads over with the others.
Liesel pulls me aside by the elbow, out of earshot of the rest of them.
I’m nervous. Talks with Liesel are rarely a good thing. Though she’s been different, here—still I know what she wants.
“I want you to work with me.” Her voice drops to honey.
“Don’t do that,” I snap.
She blinks.
“I know you want to work with me. I told you I would, if it made sense. But I’m petrified of getting sucked into…” I wave towards the ladder, the base. The dead bodies at the bottom. “This again. Tell me straight what you want, the details. Don’t try to play me anymore.”
“Fair.” She looks me straight on, no bullshit. “I will never bring you underground again, Jacob. I will never mess with your family. No double-cross, no lying. You get to choose if you want to do a job or n
ot—but I promise you, in the long view, every single one of them will help people. I don’t have the egotistical goals of John, or the avarice of Smith. I don’t care about advancing a project or a department. I just want to help people.”
I examine the pine needles on the ground, listening hard.
“You could still go to Stanford,” Liesel says. “Rachel too, if she wants. Wherever you want, both of you. All of you. We’ll need to set something up…like witness protection. You can’t go back home. But it can be done.”
My heart starts pounding. I feel like a dog with his ears pricked up.
I told her I would help her, if she helped me. And Stanford.
“Consider it retroactive payment. Your mother and Myka can go to school and work. Lucas can live with them if he wants to. Without Smith, without John, I can guarantee you they’ll all be safe.”
I look up. “You can’t guarantee that.”
“I can,” she says vehemently. “I will. There were too many mistakes made. Leaks. Strategies. Power-greed. I made mistakes. No one else will know this is active, that you are still even out there, except me and one handler. We’ll hide it better.”
“You’re going to make me die again?”
I’m half-joking, but she nods.
“To the General, yes. You died here. Your brother died here. None of John’s men saw, so that’s what I’ll say. That’s the end of it.”
I take a deep, long breath, tilt my head back, and look at the sky, the beautiful profusion of stars starting to peek out. I never want to be locked away from the sky again. But she says she won’t. And I almost believe her. Except.
“Plus you’ll have Dedushka as collateral, to make sure I behave. You’ll keep him here.”
She shakes her head firmly. “It’s not like that, Jacob. I’m going to make him better, and then he’ll leave. We’ll help him too, if he wants. Only if he wants. I see I went about this all wrong, before. I’m proposing that we’ll be partners now. Equal partners.” She touches my arm. “You don’t have to decide now. We’ll talk again, all right? I’ll find you. I’ll bring the china cat, and we’ll find that plane.”
