“What the hell does she want?” I slam my head back into my chair and sigh. I’ve asked Brandy repeatedly to stay away from my office, but my requests fall on deaf ears. She says it’s important that people see her milling about my office so they know she’s welcome. Thing is, she isn’t. Hannah knows this and I’m assuming she is trying to keep her away.
When my intercom rings, I freeze and look at Lamar, who is shaking his head. A quick glance at my watch tells me I have twenty minutes before I need to be at the airport to pick up Macey and Morgan.
“What am I going to do?”
“I’ll take care of it,” he says, rising to his feet. His large body unfolds in front of me, and if he weren’t one of my best friends, I’d recoil from fear. With my eyes set on the computer screen I watch him go out and speak to Hannah and then face Brandy. Her arms are flailing about. When I see Lamar point toward the door, I chuckle. I shouldn’t, because I know I haven’t been very forthcoming with her, but I can’t help it. I need to tell her that we’ll never be together and worry about my reputation later.
Lamar returns with a shit-eating grin on his face. “That felt good,” he says, sitting back down in the chair and sighing.
“What exactly did you say to her?”
“Nothing that wasn’t true. I told her that men don’t like needy women and that a man has to work to bring home the bacon. If she’s always coming around you can’t work, and if you can’t work, what’s the point of her coming to see you.”
I sit here shaking my head, dumbfounded by what he said. “I’m confused.”
“I think she was too, which is why she left so easily. Speaking of leaving,” he says, pointing at his watch.
“Right, I should get going.” I shut off my computer and place the file I’ve been working on in my bag so I can take it home with me. I don’t expect to get much work done while Morgan is here, but it’ll be there if I need it. “Can you take care of getting Macey a gown for tonight?”
“I already did, and also put her other ones back in your closet.”
His words catch me off guard, and try as I might, I can’t keep the smile off my face.
“I’m excited to meet her.” Lamar stands and holds my office door open for me.
“You’ve already met Macey.”
“I’m talking about Morgan,” he says, giving me a look. I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to call me out on my bullshit, pointing out that I have feelings for Macey when I won’t admit them to myself.
I pause and nod. “I never thought I’d be this excited to see someone, but it’s like she was my missing piece.”
“Who, Morgan or Macey?”
“Morgan, of course.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Instead of answering him, I take my leave. Avoidance is easy and where I’m at with Macey is perfect for me. I don’t have to worry about jealousy or impossible demands that come with being in a relationship. Right now, focusing on Morgan and establishing a relationship with her is far more important.
The drive to McCarran is quick and thankfully the lack of traffic has me there in time, but that doesn’t mean I’m on time. As soon as I park, I’m running through wayward travelers to get to baggage claim. This section of the airport is under construction and is an utter mess. It can be hard to navigate if you’re not paying attention. At least that’s what I’m telling myself while I wait by the door and continually check the monitor to see if they’ve landed. Running through the crowd has nothing to do with the fact that I want them to see me as soon as they come through the door.
I see Macey and Morgan before they see me. The mom-and-daughter combo are holding hands and Morgan’s eyes are looking around widely. I wish I had the sense to capture this on camera, but I don’t. I keep my phone tucked in my pocket and try to commit Morgan’s expression to memory.
As soon as Morgan sees me, her face morphs into a huge smile. She starts to run, dragging Macey behind her until she finally lets go. I don’t know what to do, but I’ve seen enough television shows and movies to remember that I should kneel down. When she reaches me, she doesn’t stop or slow down; it’s a full-on barrel tackle and I’m barely able to keep myself upright when my arms wrap around her.
We don’t speak, she hugs me and I hold on for dear life. When Macey reaches us I can see in her eyes that she’s torn between happiness and longing. I pull her into our embrace and she comes willingly.
“How was your flight?” I ask, letting Macey go and putting Morgan down.
“It was the coolest thing ever. We got to go on the plane first while everyone else had to wait and we got to sit up front. The lady in the blue dress kept asking me if I wanted anything and she kept bringing me snacks.”
“That’s the luxury of being in first class,” I tell Morgan, who looks completely wiped after a two-hour flight.
Morgan continues to jabber while we walk to their luggage terminal. “Everything good?” I ask Macey, who shrugs. I can already sense it’s going to be a long weekend and I’ll probably send her to the spa to get a massage or something, anything I can do to help ease her stress.
With the car loaded and everyone situated, we’re heading back to the hotel. Morgan is oohing and aahing at everything she sees, while Macey is quiet. I was hoping that she’d put on a game face for Morgan, but apparently not. She’s letting me know loud and clear that being here is an inconvenience for her.
I make sure to use the valet when we arrive back at the hotel. I want Morgan to see it all, the grandeur of the hotel, when she enters. With her hand in mine and my other hand on the small of Macey’s back, we enter, much to the shocked delight of my daughter.
“Whoa, you own this?”
“Well, we do,” I say, crouching down next to her. She’s the perfect combination of Macey and me with her dark hair and blue eyes. I can see a little bit of me when I was a kid in her, but all her beauty comes from her mother.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, since I’m your dad and I own this, it means that you do too. You’re too young to work here, though, or boss anyone around.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and juts her lower lip out before her mood turns to laughter. “Someday, I’ll be the boss.”
“Yep, someday.”
Macey still hasn’t said anything by the time we reach my apartment, but after giving Morgan a tour and showing her what is now her room, decorated in princess motifs because that is what Lamar said ten-year-olds like, Macey finally speaks up, asking, “Where am I sleeping?”
I look at her and frown, telling Morgan to play with the toys I bought and that we’ll be right back before escorting Macey downstairs and into my bedroom.
“Why wouldn’t you sleep in here with me?”
“I don’t want to send the wrong message to Morgan,” she says, stepping away from me and moving toward the window.
“What message is that exactly?”
“That you sleep in a man’s bed when you have a sleepover.”
“Except I’m her father and unless you’ve started seeing someone, I don’t understand what the problem is.”
She doesn’t answer me, instead focuses all her attention on the action outside the window.
“Macey? Is there someone in your life?”
She shakes her head. “No, Finn. I haven’t been with anyone else but you for the past month.”
I go to her, resting my chin on her shoulder. Her body sags into me, but I still feel like she’s distant.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” I tell her. The last thing I want to do is make her upset, even if it’s at my own expense. I fully intended to be with her while they were here, but apparently that isn’t what she wants.
“I can sleep with Morgan.”
“Don’t be silly, it’s a twin bed.”
“We’ve slept in worse,” she mutters, making me feel about ten inches tall. It’s because of my mother and the secret she took to her grave that Macey and Morgan have struggled.<
br />
“That will never happen again,” I promise her.
“Can I ask you a question?” She steps away from me, leaving me at the window. She wanders around my bed and goes to the other window.
“You can ask me anything.”
“If you knew about Morgan when I was pregnant, how would things be different?”
“You would’ve had money, Macey. I would’ve paid for everything. I’m not the type of man who runs away from his responsibilities. You both would’ve been taken care of.”
“Would you have been in her life? Would you have given up college and come home?” she asks, her voice wavering.
I process her words and imagine what the differences would be if I had dropped out of college and moved home. Where would I be and what kind of life would I have right now? This life, the one I’m living, I fucking love it. I’ve achieved so much more than I ever expected and can’t fathom being someone different.
“I don’t know, Macey.”
By the way her eyes fall I know that’s the wrong answer, but it’s the truth. At eighteen the last thing I would’ve wanted to do was raise a child, yet she did it and did so without the means to take care of our daughter. If my answer makes me look weak in her eyes, so be it, but it’s the best one I can give her. I’m not going to lie to her about anything.
Chapter 25
Macey
Morgan is in awe. I don’t blame her. For a kid the hotel is pretty amazing, but I think it’s more than that. For her, she probably feels like she belongs now. That she’s whole now that she has two parents who love her.
While Finn finished work for the day, I took her to the pool. He told me that only Lamar knows that she’s his daughter and he wants to keep it that way through the weekend, stating he had some loose ends to tie up. I don’t let the fact that he’s hiding her bother me. I figure it’s for good reason and who am I to question him? He’s taking care of us. He’s making our lives better and that alone is worth me not questioning his motives.
Each night, I still pinch myself that my life has changed so much in the span of a month. I’ve gone from taking my clothes off and waiting tables for money to preparing to start my college courses. I think back to the day that I walked into the casino and how everything changed in the blink of an eye. If I hadn’t lost the money, where would I be right now? Would I be back here with Morgan, spending the weekend with her father, or would I be dancing on the stage and serving drunk men cocktails while they stare at my breasts?
I’m not stupid enough to think everything that is happening now is going to stay the same. He’s going to meet and fall in love with the one woman who puts his world on the right axis. They’ll have kids and while Morgan will always play a role in his life, I won’t. I’ll be the mom to the first kid or whatever. I don’t want to be an afterthought in Finn’s life, but I know deep down that is all I’ll ever be.
Accepting what will never be, I am taking Finn’s suggestion. He says I don’t have to work, in fact, he’s adamant, and encouraged me to go to school full-time and follow my dreams, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take him up on his offer before he changes his mind, or someone comes along and changes it for him. Morgan is excited that she’ll have a study partner.
When we return from the pool, Morgan heads up to her room, yelling along the way that she feels like a princess when she’s up there. I want to tell her that even princesses have to come out of their ivory towers sooner or later, but bursting her happy bubble isn’t something I’m set on doing anytime soon. I am worried, though, that she’ll favor Finn over me because she’s getting things that she’s never had before. They say money can’t buy happiness, but I disagree. To see her face light up because her father gave her a tablet is one of the best moments I have witnessed in her young life, and that is something I couldn’t do for her.
In Finn’s bedroom, I stare at the bed, recalling every moment I spent in there with him. It’d be easy to fall into it again, to be with him, but I want more and he’s not willing to give that, at least not to me. Telling him that we couldn’t sleep together was one of the hardest sentences I’ve ever had to form. My body craves his. When he’s here it’s almost as if there’s an electrical current running between us, drawing us to each other. He’s incredibly hard to resist. Even when I’m pissed at him, when he’s destroyed my heart with hurtful words, his touch and the sound of his husky voice turn me into a withering mess of nothing, and he knows it. Finn knows he has the power to make me submit, to be his.
I find myself in the closet, looking at the space I once shared. It’s bare, with the exception of the gowns I left behind and a brand-new one hanging alongside them. The black silk dress feels like heaven between my fingers, but the pang of jealousy that is rushing through my body feels worse. This isn’t my dress. He’s bought it for someone else.
Before I realize what I’m doing, I open the bathroom door and find him leaning over the sink with shaving cream and a razor in his hand. A towel covers his waist, but that does nothing to combat the desire pooling within. I swallow the lump in my throat and meet his gaze in the mirror. He smiles, making my knees even weaker than they were seconds ago.
“You’re going out?”
He rinses his razor in the running water as he answers. “Yes, I have a fundraiser.”
So many thoughts rush through my mind: him dancing with his date, touching her softly and holding her to his body. I want it to be me. I want to be the one he chooses to spend his time with.
“The dress you chose for her, it’s beautiful.”
“She’s beautiful,” he says, breaking my heart even more. I smile softly and take a step back from the door. “Macey?” He calls my name, causing me to look back at him. “Come here.”
I do as he says because I’m weak and in love with him. Finn wipes his face clean of the shaving cream and turns to lean against the counter. The towel does nothing to hide the thickness or the ridges of his manhood.
“The dress is for you,” he says, reaching for me. I step to him willingly and relish the feel of his hands on my hips.
“For me?”
“Of course. Who else would it be for?” The way he says this, as if it’s no big deal, sends shock waves to my heart, feelings that I know I should ignore and not think twice about because next week it’ll be someone new going with him or having her dress hanging in his closet.
“What about Morgan?”
“Lamar will come stay with her. We won’t be out long, just enough time to shake a few hands, eat and maybe take a spin on the dance floor.”
I think about Morgan and Lamar, and the mother in me doesn’t want to leave Morgan alone. Not that I don’t trust Lamar, I do, but this is Morgan’s first night in a strange place and as much as she loves her room, coming down the stairs to ask a man for help, a man she barely knows, could be frightening for her.
“I can’t go,” I tell him, only to see his face fall. Instantly, I pick up the washcloth that he was using and continue to wipe away the residual shaving cream that he missed. He pulls me forward, bringing me in between his legs and gripping my ass fully with his hands.
“Why?”
“Because it’s Morgan’s first night here. I don’t feel comfortable leaving her.”
He sighs and leans his forehead against my chest. “I have to go,” he says and I nod.
“I know. We’ll be fine.”
“Will you wait up for me?” he asks, meeting my gaze once again.
“Of course.”
My brain tells me that I need to tell him no, but my heart is screaming yes, yelling at me to tell him that he can sleep in his bed with me. I need to be strong, though, and stand my ground. I can’t give in to the ways of Finn McCormick and his come-hither eyes. I’m only going to continue hurting myself if I don’t stop.
Morgan calls my name and I immediately leave the comfort of Finn’s arms. As much as I want to look back at him, I don’t. Instead, I hurry away, committing the sight of him
to memory as I go to Morgan.
“Hey,” I say to her, stepping out of Finn’s room.
“What were you doing?”
“Talking to Finn.” I direct her toward the living room where his giant television is hoisted up on the wall. We sit together on the couch as I turn it on and try to find something that will interest her.
“You can call him my dad, ya know.”
“I know.”
It didn’t take Morgan long to start referring to Finn as her dad. The first time she said it, my heart dropped because I knew I was now sharing her with someone else, but at the same time I felt thankful that she now has him in her life.
“It’s hard sometimes.”
“What’s hard?” Finn asks from behind us. Morgan and I turn at the same time to see him only a few feet from us, dressed to knock the socks off some unsuspecting woman in his black tuxedo.
“Whoa, Dad, where are you going?”
“I have to run out to a party for a bit. I won’t be gone long.” Finn comes around the front of the couch, pausing in front of me. “Can you help me?” he asks, holding the ends of his untied bow tie.
“Sure.” I stand and tie the knot for him, making sure it’s straight. I also run my hands down the front of his jacket and over his shoulders, prolonging his exit.
“Are you sure you won’t come with me?”
“I’m sure.”
He kisses me lightly on the cheek before saying goodbye to Morgan. I jump slightly when the door closes and sigh as I sit back down.
“How come you don’t want to go?” Morgan asks, snuggling into my side.
“Who would stay with you and eat all the ice cream?”
Morgan sits up on her knees and places her hands on her hips. “Is it because you don’t have a dress to wear?”
Shaking my head, I reply, “No, your dad made sure I had a dress if I wanted to go.”
She throws her hands up in the air in very dramatic fashion and collapses onto the couch. “Mommy, you should go and be a princess for the night. My dad looks like Prince Charming and you could be his Cinderella. I can stay by myself. This place is safe compared to Grandma’s.”
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