“Uh, no, I meant he came in where I work. I do intake at the V.A. He had to come in for a physical.”
“Oh,” The woman’s expression changed when Callie mentioned the Veterans’ Hospital. “He died over there…”
Callie felt her throat clench. “I know. I’m sorry that I missed the funeral service. I didn’t find out right away.”
Lawrence, hovering nearby, stepped in. “We tried to contact all of his friends. Sorry, we didn’t know about you.”
She looked down to hide the tear seeping from her eye. “I realize that.”
“You poor child,” Mrs. Bernerd took her hand again. “To find out your friend has died and no one even let you know. It is so sweet of you to come to pay your respects.”
“Mrs. Bernerd,” Callie was very hesitant, “Jimmy and I weren’t just… friends.”
“Oh?”
“We,” she stopped suddenly to compose herself, “we were together.”
“Oh hell no.” The young woman on the couch sprang to her feet angrily. “My brother dating a white woman? You’re lying.”
“Leisha you shut your mouth.” Mrs. Bernerd yelled at her daughter. She turned back to Callie, “Now girl, why are you coming here to tell me that my son had some kind of dalliance with you?”
Lawrence sounded suspicious. “Are you trying to blackmail us or something? Who cares if you let him do you?”
“I,” Callie looked nervously between the three, “I just…” She began to hyperventilate.
The boy at the table began to giggle quietly.
Leisha strutted towards Callie and pointed her finger. “She probably wants to claim that the black guy forced her.”
Mrs. Bernerd noticed that Callie was having difficulty breathing. “You sit girl and catch your breath. Then we will talk.” The older woman stood. “Leisha, Lawrence, I am an old woman in mourning for a son, I am not feeble and I don’t need your interference.” She turned towards the sound of the giggling. “And Jonson, you hush.”
“But Mama, she’s,—” Lawrence tried to plead with his mother.
“I said to stay out of it. We do not know what she is or what she wants. You are to stay out of it. I will hear her out and I will be the one to make the decision what to do about her.” She stopped and looked at each of her offspring. There was complete silence. “You can stay in the room, but if I hear a single breath from any one of you, you will leave. Is that understood?”
Callie watched this woman in awe, she never raised her voice, but her children knew not to cross her.
Mrs. Bernerd tapped her foot once, twice, while she waited for the chorus of three “Yes, Mama.” Satisfied, she sat again.
Leaning forward in her seat, Mrs. Bernerd scrutinized Callie’s face. “Do you need a glass of water?” Callie looked at Leisha and Lawrence and felt like cowering under their anger, but when she looked back at Jimmy’s mother she shook her head. “Now, tell me what was between you and my Jimmy.”
“At first we were just friends, but soon we started dating.” Her voice calmed a little as she thought of Jimmy. “We had a pretty serious relationship by the time he was deployed. We wrote to each other pretty frequently.” She paused and tamped down the emotion. “Jimmy proposed to me in a letter”
“What?” Leisha shrieked. “She’s lying, Mama.”
Her mother turned quickly towards her and without a word Leisha ran from the room.
“Go on.” She turned her attention back to Callie.
“We were going to get married when he came back home.”
“Did you love him?”
Callie nodded. “Yes Mrs. Bernerd, I think I did, I still do.”
The older woman calmly smiled and took Callie’s hand again. “My Jimmy was a fine boy. It was nice to know that he was loved.” She sighed. “But child, Jimmy is gone and you did not… get married.” She stood, still holding Callie’s hand. “Thank you so much for letting us know that you cared for him.”
Realizing that she was being dismissed, Callie stayed seated. “I needed to talk with you.” She gently pulled her hand away.
“Child there is nothing more we can do.”
“But,”
Lawrence guffawed. “This alleged proposal means nothing if you think you’re entitled to his benefits.”
Callie turned to Lawrence, “That’s not what I came for.” She was calm but firm.
Sighing loudly, the mother sat down again. “Then why did you come?”
“I came for family. We have a son.”
Obviously listening from the next room, Leisha came in and stood behind Jonson, both were quiet. Lawrence gaped.
Mrs. Bernerd put a hand to her chest, “I have a grandbaby?”
“Yes, his name is Jacob.”
“Jacob?” Mama’s eyes swelled with tears.
“Jimmy suggested that we name the baby Jacob if it was a boy and Loretta if it was a girl. He promised… he thought he would be home before the baby was born.”She shrugged and wiped a tear. “He never saw his own son. I named him Jacob James Bernerd.”
Lawrence stepped forward and put a hand on one of his mother’s shoulders. He knelt in front of her and spoke in a concerned, soft voice. “Mama, we have to be sure.”
She nodded.
“I have the letter from Jimmy where he proposed. I thought you might want to see that. He speaks about the baby in it.” Callie took a folded envelope from her purse and handed it to Mrs. Bernerd.
The woman unfolded the paper that was in the envelope, her lips moved silently through most of the letter. She stopped and dabbed at her eyes, when she went back to the letter, she read it out loud. “Baby, I am so happy about the baby, I’m just sorry you’re going through the pregnancy alone. I know how hard things are for you right now, it would have been nice to have your parents’ support, but we knew how they felt before I left. I want to ask you to wait for me to come home. I want to tell Mama together. Honey, I know she’ll be thrilled and she can be there when we get married. I was thinking about names and I’d love to name the baby after my folks. My dad’s name was Jacob, and Mama’s name is Loretta, a boy’s name and a girl’s name. I hope you’ll agree. Baby, I’ll be home soon. I love you. Baby, I promise I’ll get down on bended knee when I see you, but please tell me that you say yes.” She finished reading quietly.
She folded the letter, put it back in the envelope and handed it back to Callie. “Your parents didn’t approve?”
“No, they didn’t.”
“Because he was black?”
Callie nodded shamefully.
“Did you tell them you were with child?”
“Yes.”
“How do they feel about their grandbaby?”
Callie turned away. “As far as they are concerned, I’m dead and there is no baby.”
“Tsk, tsk. They’re losing out on something beautiful.” She paused and gave Callie a chance to pull herself together. “Talking about beautiful, do you have any pictures of this grandbaby of mine? And why didn’t you bring him with you?”
Callie laughed with relief. “Yes, I brought pictures of Jacob. I just wanted to make sure that you would be willing to accept him. I want him to grow up knowing family.” She handed Mrs. Bernerd a short stack of photos. “These are yours.”
While Jimmy’s mother looked through the pictures of her grandson, Lawrence took hold of Callie’s wrist and motioned to the corner of the room. He glanced back at Leisha and Jonson as if warning them off.
Callie pulled her arm back but followed him anyway.
Lawrence kept his voice low, he sounded dangerous. “We are getting a paternity test done tomorrow and God help you if you break my mother’s heart.”
She was annoyed at his demand, but acquiesced “I have a few things Jimmy left at my place, I’m sure we can get a sample from that.”
“No. If I’m asking for a paternity test, I’m not going to be stupid enough to let you supply the father’s DNA. They’ll take my blood and we’ll make sure that there is a familial match.�
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“Child… Callie,” Mrs. Bernerd called her back over to her.
“Yes Mrs. Bernerd?” Callie was happy to leave Lawrence standing alone.
“Child, you gave me a grandbaby, you call me mama, you hear?”
“Yes… Mama.”
“Where is that baby now?”
“At home, sleeping. I have a sitter watching him,” she added quickly, “I checked her references and she is very reliable.”
“Can you bring him here tomorrow?”
Callie glanced at Lawrence. “Yes, tomorrow after work. I have to meet with someone, but I can do that at lunchtime.”
Mama reached out to Callie and drew her closer. “Are you okay? Do you have what you need for the baby? You’re working? What do you do with the baby while you work?”
Callie liked the woman. She could see where Jimmy got his warmth and kindness from. Jimmy was nothing like his brother, that was for sure. “Yes ma’am, I’ve got everything I need for Jacob and now, thanks to you, I have family too. There’s childcare at work so he’s well taken care of and I’m nearby if there’s an emergency.”
“Good girl. We’ll see you tomorrow child. There’ll be a place at the dinner table for you.” She turned to her oldest son. “Lawrence you take our girl home now, you make sure she gets to her door safely.”
“Oh that’s not…”
“No argument child. The sun is going down and I need to know my grandbaby’s mother is safe” She pulled her down and kissed her cheek. “You have made me so happy.”
Lawrence looked anything but happy as he held the door open for Callie.
Callie met Lawrence at the lab in the V.A. hospital during lunch. She greeted him with a smile. He looked annoyed. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how irked she was about the paternity test — and it was his idea so what right did he have to be annoyed?
“I hope this isn’t going to take too long,” he grumbled, “I promised my boss I’d be back as soon as possible.”
They were both filling out paperwork the receptionist handed them.
She bit back her first retort and feigned some interest in him. “Where do you work?”
Lawrence looked at her and grimaced, looked away and then looked back before responding with the name of a law firm.
“You’re a lawyer?”
He guffawed and shook his head. “Would that be so difficult to believe?”
“No, I just thought lawyers could speak to someone without sounding eternally pissed off at the world.”
His nostrils flared at the insult. “I’m pissed off because you played games with my dead brother and now you expect his family to take you in.”
“I never asked anyone to take me in; I want my son, your brother’s son, to know his relatives. I would think you’d want to get to know him as well. And I don’t need anyone taking me in. I can take care of myself and my son.”
“Oh, is that why you looked like you were salivating when you thought I was a lawyer? I’m a law clerk, I’m not up there yet, no big bucks.” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “And we’re going to make sure that he really is my brother’s kid.”
Callie couldn’t find words; she was angry, very angry. She walked away from him and sat in one of the waiting room chairs. Lawrence simply shrugged and sat in a chair across the room. They stayed like that until they were called in by the receptionist.
After his blood was taken Lawrence asked if the results could be rushed and was told it would take 24-hours.
Callie heard his sharp intake of breath. She was at the point where she actually enjoyed that he was so irritated.
When they were ready to leave, Callie said a curt goodbye and headed back to her office. She turned away from him before she grinned knowing he had to get all the way across town to get back to his job.
Mrs. Bernerd had Callie seated next to her with little Jacob just behind and in between them in a wooden cradle; she told Callie that she borrowed the cradle from her neighbor. The new grandmother cooed over the baby and applauded Callie for how well behaved he was. Even though Callie knew she had little to do with her son’s peaceful sleeping, she enjoyed the motherly attention her own mother had denied her.
“Mama, this fish is delicious.” Callie made sure to swallow before talking. The meal was a delight and she was sure that the woman had made extra efforts to make the meal special. She served a crusty fried cod with a sautéed corn and diced ham side, and baked sweet potatoes.
Leisha sat opposite Callie, she seemed quiet and sullen. Jonson sat next to Leisha, he was polite and not very talkative. He helped his mother bring food to the table even while Leisha sat resentfully watching Callie. The seat next to Callie was empty, Lawrence was late coming home. Mrs. Bernerd served the meal on schedule after announcing they weren’t going to wait.
They had just begun to eat when the front door opened and Lawrence walked in.
“I’m sorry Mama,” he went to his mother and gave her a peck on the cheek. “I had to run an errand and…”
His mother nodded, cutting him off, and motioned to the empty chair. “Your place is set.” She seemed miffed by his tardiness.
As soon as he sat, Callie handed him the serving dish with the fish.
“Thank you.” He responded quietly, took the plate from her and glanced at his mother.
Callie couldn’t help it, she felt just a little bit guilty because she assumed it was the trip to the lab that made him late. She could see he was upset by his mother’s disapproval; Callie found herself admiring his relationship with his mother, he shared that trait with his brother.
Jacob whimpered in his sleep and broke the silence that had descended on the table. Loretta Bernerd laughed.
“I haven’t heard that sound in this house in years,” she pointed at Jonson. “Seventeen to be exact.”
“Mama,” he sounded embarrassed by the comparison. It made everyone at the table laugh, even Lawrence and Leisha.
This was exactly what Callie wanted for her son, family. She wanted family dinners, laughter and shared memories. Jimmy would have enjoyed this.
Jonson started talking about his high school sports. Soon the conversation turned to his memories of shooting hoops with Jimmy and Lawrence. Callie was able to add what Jimmy had told her about playing with his brothers and that he really expected his younger brother to go pro one day. Jonson beamed at what Jimmy had said.
“Leisha, Jimmy said you were really good with hair,” Callie addressed the once again sullen young woman.
“Not your kind.”
“Leisha!”
“Well Mama, why do I have to pretend that I’m happy she’s here?”
“Because this is a family.” Mrs. Bernerd raised a hand to silence Leisha’s retort. “I know they didn’t make it official, but they had a baby together and that’s the only official I need. And if it’s good enough for me, it better be good enough for you.”
Callie kept her mouth shut. She wanted to apologize for uprooting everyone’s lives, but she knew better than to disrespect Jimmy’s mother. Besides, she thought, she did not want to be chastised in front of everyone.
A few moments later and the conversation resumed without any hint of tension. Leisha even joined the discussion although Cassie did notice a glance thrown her way now and then. Jacob stirred and she picked him up. Lawrence laughed at something Jonson said and Callie enjoyed the soft timbre.
Mrs. Bernerd patted the baby’s bottom. “May I change him?”
“Sure.” Callie handed the baby to his grandmother as she rose and then went to the couch where she left the diaper bag.
“Lawrence, bring that bassinet over this way.”
The man jumped to do his mother’s bidding.
“Do you need to feed him, child?”
“I put a bottle in your fridge when I got here.” Callie pumped an extra bottle in addition to the ones she usually brought with her to work.
“Leisha, go heat a pot of water and put that
bottle into it.”
“Yes, Mama.” Leisha left the room.
When the bottle was warm enough, Callie started to settle on the couch to feed Jacob… and then stopped. “Mama, would you like to feed your grandson?” The woman beamed and Callie gently handed Jacob to her.
Lawrence was watching his mother and Callie wondered if he still .thought she was being fooled. She turned her back to him and sat next to the woman she was beginning to think of as her mother-in-law.
After dinner was finally finished, Callie helped Mrs. Bernerd and Leisha to clear the table while Jacob slept in the bassinet under Lawrence and Jonson’s watchful eyes.
Once again Loretta Bernerd sent her oldest son to see Callie and Jacob safely to their door.
There was very little conversation during the cab ride to Callie’s address. Lawrence picked up the diaper bag and a small package his mother had given for Jacob; “just a few small things I used for Jimmy when he was that age,” she had explained.
Lawrence took them to her door and helped her get everything in. He stood in her living room as she put the sleeping baby down in his crib.
“I think you are telling the truth,” Lawrence said as soon as Callie walked back into the living room.
She was momentarily surprised to hear him say that, but then her anger built up again. “Well you’ll have your proof sometime tomorrow. By the way, I asked the lab to deliver the results to you at the law firm. I don’t want to chance being accused of tampering with the results.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to protect my mother, she’s been through enough.”
Jimmy had told her how his father had died young and his mother raised four young children by herself. She worked two jobs and took in sewing work now and then to help stretch the money. With Lawrence having been the oldest, Callie was sure a lot had fallen on his shoulders. She couldn’t blame him if he was only trying to protect the woman.
She was still cautious. “Okay, what changed your mind?”
I was watching you with her tonight. I saw how she smiled when you let her feed the baby, you didn’t even wait for her to ask.” He paused briefly. “Do you know that is the happiest I’ve seen my mother since before Jimmy died?”
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