Even though Farrah had tried to get me to agree to repaint my walls on several occasions, I refused to paint them since my mother was the one who had painted them and I could still remember seeing her on a ladder in the corner of my room, trying her best to get the corners. I looked across the room at my dresser where a picture of my mother and me as a young girl sat. The picture was before she found out that she had cancer, at a time that I remembered everything in our lives was perfect. Jack was about two when this picture was taken, and I remember him standing nearby crying when my dad took it, but I insisted on it being a picture of just the two of us.
I immediately stood up and walked across the room to pick it up, retreating to my bed to admire my mother’s beautiful face. It was amazing, in the picture she looked exactly as she had today. She was wearing exactly the same clothing that I had seen her in earlier and I wondered if she had chosen to wear it in the second level so that I would remember her when I got there.
I closed my eyes, trying to imagine how my life would be if she was still around. I remembered that when my father and my mother bought this house my grandmother was livid. She kept telling both of them that she got a bad vibe from it and would never visit. Five months later, when my grandfather died she moved in with us. She didn’t let her feelings about the house go though, in fact she was always saying that she heard things or saw people moving about. Now that I had been to the second level, I wonder if that was what she saw and why she saw it.
My dad thought she was going senile, but when mom was around she always humored her, listening for hours about the things she saw or heard. Farrah didn’t have the patience for her and distanced herself from anything that had to do with my grandmother. Just then, I heard Farrah bring Jack upstairs to put him to sleep in his room.
“Gabriela, that was extremely insensitive of you!” I heard my Dad from downstairs.
I sighed. Dad didn’t expect a response. He never did anymore, he was so wrapped up in his work and in making Farrah happy, just the way that he used to try to make my mom feel. Just then there was a breeze at the window and it caused the curtain to move ever so slightly.
Was that them? I wondered to myself. Were they here with me now? I looked around the room for a sign of something else, but there was nothing. It was slightly windy outside and I concluded that was what caused the curtain to move. It was Sunday I told myself, they wouldn’t be visiting on a Sunday, unless something big was going to happen. I lay still for a moment and then jumped up from my bed and ran downstairs to check on my Grandmother.
I knocked lightly on my grandmother’s door and she told me to come in. I opened the door ever so slightly and saw her sitting on her bed smiling at me. She held the remote up to mute the television.
“Come in mija.” My grandmother said. “Tell me what your mother had to say.”
Chapter Six
I stood staring at her in shock for a moment before entering the room. When I finally did, my grandmother motioned for me to sit down on the bed beside her.
“Close the door behind you.” She said. “I know you’re wondering how I know and I don’t want your father coming in here to tell me I’m telling you a bunch of nonsense.”
I complied and then walked across the room to sit down on the bed.
“Abuela, have you seen her?” I asked. “My mother I mean.”
She smirked at me, as if to show me she knew darn well who I was talking about.
“Of course not.” My grandmother replied.
I stared at her in confusion for a moment without saying anything. My grandmother didn’t blink, she sat staring at me, waiting for me to ask my next question.
“Then how did you know?” I asked.
“I can see it on your face.” She said. “I knew there was something strange in this house. What did you see and where did you find her.”
I began to tell her when she cut me off.
“Mija, I told you not to go up to that attic.” She scolded me. “What if you get stuck there? What if you can’t come back?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“At least I’ll be stuck there with her.” I replied.
“Mija you don’t even know if that was her.” My grandmother said. “What if it was something else pretending that it was her? You have to be careful. I don’t want you going up there again. Promise me that you won’t go up there.”
I looked away and reluctantly agreed. If our eyes didn’t meet, that wouldn’t be lying to her, I told myself. My grandmother proceeded to tell me some of the things that she had seen in the house, but didn’t tell me anything I hadn’t heard her tell me about before. It seemed like she was holding back and the following week when I snuck back up to the attic, I tried to forget about our conversation.
I looked over my shoulder as I tiptoed up the stairs. I didn’t want Jack to hear me. I was certain that if he did, he would tell my father. I definitely didn’t want that to happen. My father had threatened to bolt the door closed if I went up to the attic again one night as we sat eating dinner. I was surprised when my grandmother agreed with him and encouraged him to do so. I think the simple fact that she was all for it was the only thing that prevented my father form actually doing it.
The moment I was upstairs I counted the floorboards and held my breath and closed my eyes as I stepped over the fourteenth floorboard. I opened my eyes and looked around, realizing that absolutely nothing happened. I frowned and tried it again and again. When still nothing happened I stormed down the stairs and across the hallway, going to my room and slamming the door shut. I was furious, I wanted to see my mother again and was upset that I wouldn’t get to.
There was a light knock at the door and Jack entered very quietly without receiving my invitation. Jack stared at me for a long while without saying anything and I rolled my eyes and leaned back on my bed.
“What happened up there?” Jack asked quietly.
“Why do you want to know?” I snarled. “Are you going to go and tell dad?”
I noticed my curtain move from behind him and I sat up and stared at him for a moment without saying anything. The curtain did it again once more and then nothing.
“What?” Jack asked as he stared at me.
“Nothing.” I looked at him and said. “Absolutely nothing. You can tell dad that. I bet that would make him happy. It will make everyone happy.”
Jack shook his head and backed out of the room. I laid back against my pillows, still upset that nothing had happened. I tried to think of what could have caused it the first time and why whatever it was, wasn’t working now. I laid in bed thinking about it until for hours until my dad came home from the grocery store with my grandmother and Farrah and I went downstairs to help bring everything inside.
When I took the bags from my grandmother she stared at me as if she knew what I had done. She hesitated in handing them to me and called me down to her room later that night. When I entered the room, she sat on the bed without looking at me. She motioned at the remote next to her and asked if I could reprogram it. I did and changed the channel to make sure that the programing had worked.
“Here you go abuela.” I said, handing her the remote.
She didn’t turn to me, she just sat staring out the window.
“Mija tell me what size batteries those are.” She said suddenly. “I want to make sure that I get more, just in case it’s the battery.”
I shook my head and opened the remote. There were no batteries inside. I gasped.
“Just as I thought.” My grandmother said. “That remote hasn’t worked in years. It doesn’t even belong to this TV. Don’t go up to the attic again. This is the last time I’m going to warn you.”
Chapter Seven
Even the incident with my grandmother didn’t keep me from going up to the attic. In fact, I went up there every day at the same time that I had gone up on my first visit and every time I tried, I stayed in my own level. I did this for over a month and each time I tried, the attic remained
exactly the same. On one occasion in particular, I stayed in the attic for a while. I used this time to search through boxes, for the box that contained the dress that Ruby had worn on our first encounter. After hours of searching, I finally concluded that the box along with my chance of seeing my mother again were gone.
When I went downstairs for dinner each night my grandmother wouldn’t even look at me. I knew that she knew what I was doing and I knew that she couldn’t be happy about it. Before long, she stopped talking to me all together. When I tried to speak with her, she pretended like she couldn’t understand me. Soon we found out that my grandmother was very sick and would need to move into a nursing home so that she could receive round the clock care.
Since she was my grandmother from my mother’s side, Farrah didn’t think we should be involved on the rest of the decisions that involved her and quickly arranged to have my grandmother moved to Chicago to be closer to her other children. Both Jack and I were devastated from being away from her. For the longest time she was the only thing that made me feel like I was still close to my mother and close to the life that I had once known.
Three years later and when I was preparing to graduate from high school, my father and Farrah surprised me by flying my grandmother and aunt in for a visit. My grandmother’s health had improved dramatically and while she was confined to a wheelchair and unable to speak, she was alert and for me that was all that mattered. I was excited because they would be spending the entire summer with us, this would be my last summer living at home, because soon I would be headed off to college and would move into a dorm.
Yessenia, my aunt and Farrah hit it off right away. I was surprised because Farrah didn’t have the best personality, however she was more than civil with Yessenia. My dad seemed to be happy about that and happy about the fact that he didn’t need to spend time entertaining anyone. When Farah asked if it was okay to take my aunt out to sight see, he nearly started singing in delight. This was perfect for Jack and me, because we got to spend plenty of catch up time with my grandmother.
About a week before they were to head back home, Farrah and I headed off to a local department store to get supplies for my college dorm and Jack went to a daylong soccer camp at the high school. Knowing that it would be hours before anyone would return home, I loaded up my grandmother’s wheel chair with a bag of snacks and took her for a long walk at a park close to our home. The sun was shining and it lifted my spirits to see my grandmother point at things and mumble as if she was describing them.
When we returned home later that day, I was exhausted and more than pleased to notice that Farrah’s car was not yet parked in the driveway. This would mean more alone time with my grandmother and I wanted to take every possible second with her that I could before I went off to college. I smiled at my grandmother as I brought her inside and I noticed that she had a glimmer in her eye as if she was the happiest person in the world.
I wheeled her to the living room and brought her a blanket while I went to get us both an ice-cold glass of lemonade. I put a straw in her glass and lifted it up to her lips so that she could sip it. Just as I was about to put the lemonade down on the table, I felt her hand fall against my leg. Alarmed, I looked up at her and noticed that she was trying to get my attention. She moved her lips to speak, but all that came out was a muffled gibberish. I shook my head to show I didn’t understand and she pointed at me.
“Are you trying to tell me something abuela?” I asked, smiling at her.
She pointed at me again and I shook my head pointing my finger at myself and admiring her persistence.
“Me?” I asked. “Are you trying to say something about me? Did you like our walk? Is that it?”
I stared at her and she pointed at me again, putting her finger in and out. I smiled and shook my head, taking a sip of my lemonade and then putting it down on the table. When I looked back up at my grandmother she kept her finger pointed at me and then ever so slowly moved her finger until it pointed upwards. I raised my right eyebrow and leaned in to let our eyes meet. Her eyelids fluttered and she pointed at me again.
“No Abuela.” I replied, figuring out what she meant. “I haven’t been up there.”
My grandmother stared at me, a glassy look in her eye and seemingly disappointed. I moved my bottom lip in and held air in my mouth momentarily, not knowing what else to say.
“I tried to go up there a few times after that last incident, but I was never able to get back over to my mother’s level.” I said slowly. “I don’t know, maybe it was just a dream. I don’t know how it could have been though, it was all so very real.”
My grandmother shook her head and stared at me for a minute, she pointed at me and then motioned to her old room. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I wheeled her into it. Once we were in the room she pointed to me again and then to her desk. I remembered seeing her sitting at that desk many times before as she worked on various crochet pieces. I smiled.
“Yes, I remember you sitting there.” I said.
She shook her head angrily and muttered something as if she was trying to say no over and over again. I went to her side and stroked her back to snap her out of it. She looked up at me and pointed to me again and then to her desk. I walked over to it and began going through her drawers.
“What do you want Abuela?” I asked. “Do you want this?”
I held up several of her crochet pieces and watched her as she shook her head furiously.
“How about this?” I asked. “Is this what you’re talking about?”
I held up a snow globe, then a picture frame and finally an appointment book. When I held up the appointment book, her eyes lit up and she attempted to talk and she raised her finger to point at me.
“This?” I asked. “What do you want your appointment book for?”
She shook her head and pointed at me again, then at the book and then she pointed up as hard as she could, her hand dropping immediately and flopping with the impact as it fell across her thigh.
“Okay Abuela.” I said. “Calm down. Do you want me to look through here? Is that what you want?”
Our eyes met and she smiled. Her lips moving as if she was saying something, but no sound came out. I looked down at the book and feeling extremely confused, I opened it.
“This is for January.” I said. “You went to the doctor twice in January. You also have marked in here the days that we were off school and the days that you spoke with your children.”
She smiled and nodded, motioning with her hand as if she was turning a page. I bit my lip and looked down at the book and flipped the page over. I gasped in astonishment. February the 14th was highlighted and a star was drawn into the box. At the bottom of the page in the note section there was another star and a note that read: “Gabriela went to the attic. She said she saw her mother. Mark the date in your memory bank Estella.” Estella was my grandmother’s name, she had left the note for herself so that she could remember the exact day that I went up to the attic.
“Abuela is this it?” I asked. “Do you mean to tell me about this note that you wrote about me seeing my mother?”
She nodded, pushing her chin up as far as it would go and then letting it drop down. I felt my forehead wrinkle in thought as I thought over what she had just said. She began to mutter and pointed at me, then up and finally at the date in the appointment book. I bit my lip as I studied her expression.
“Abuela, are you saying that I should go up and try to cross over again on February 14th?” I asked.
She put her hands together in a clapping motion and attempted to make a wide smile that dropped at one side of her face. I bit my lip and nodded.
“Okay Abuela.” I said. “I’m going to try to cross over again on Valentine’s Day. I hope that it works.”
She smiled and nodded at me as if to tell me that it would.
Chapter Eight
Soon my grandmother and Aunt headed back home and it was time for me to head off to college. I kept my grandmoth
ers appointment book with me and studied it every night as if it would give me some sort of a new clue. I put all of my time and energy into school, but counted the days until I would return home for Christmas and then for Valentine’s Day. I thought over telling Jack of my plan, but decided against it in case he tried to stop me.
Finally on Friday the 13th of February it was time for me to start my long voyage home. I loaded up my car and felt my heart begin to pound with excitement when my GPS said that I would arrive at my house just after six o’clock that night. That would give me enough time to get some rest before midnight. I didn’t know how long past midnight I’d be able to wait. I wanted so badly to try out my grandmother and my idea, the whole while knowing that there was no way in the world that I was going to wait until the morning.
I drove for hours and when I finally pulled into my driveway, my father and Farrah stood waiting for me outside the garage. Jack jumped up from the porch swing and hugged me excitedly, before I even had both feet out of my car.
“Come on, let’s go out for a quick dinner.” My father said. “Then we’ll let you get some rest.”
“Unless you want to sleep first.” Farrah chimed in. “You have to be tired.”
I smiled at her as sweetly as possible.
“No, I’m fine.” I said.
“Let’s get going then.” My father said. “I know you need to get your rest when we get back and Farrah and I are going to have a night out as well for an early Valentine’s Day celebration, so it will just be you and your brother. You’re okay with that aren’t you?”
“Yeah that’s fine.” I replied. “I need to get my rest anyhow.”
“Great don’t wait up.” Farah said. “The nightclub we’re going to doesn’t close until four in the morning.”
“No problem.” I muttered, secretly feeling excited that I would pretty much have the house to myself, with the exception of Jack.
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