by Holt, Cheryl
“A girl like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re a vicar’s daughter.”
“So?”
“I’m destined for a greater match. I can’t dally with you where I might end up in a jam I couldn’t escape.”
In her short sixteen years of living, she’d suffered plenty of insults, but they’d always been about her father, about how she was his child and might have bad blood because of it.
Her father’s problems were his own and didn’t involve her, so the remarks had slid off like water on a duck’s back. This was the first time she’d been put in her place because of her relationship to him, the first time she’d been pushed to remember her antecedents and how she might not ever flee them.
“What great match are you destined for?” she snidely asked. “What makes you so special? It looks to me as if you’re a sailor and a smuggler’s son. I don’t think you’re in any position to brag.”
It was a horrid comment, and she shouldn’t have uttered it. She was just very hurt and eager to lash out, but he wasn’t offended.
“Nothing here is as it seems,” he said. “We might appear to be in a rough condition, but it will change once we’re in England.”
“You’re headed to England too?”
“Yes. I thought you knew.”
“When?”
“In a few weeks.”
“How will you get there? On the Nine Lives?”
“Yes. It’s why we’re stocking supplies and mending the sails.”
“But…but…why aren’t we all traveling together? Why is Nine Lives wasting the money to purchase fares for us if he’s proceeding in the same direction?”
“He didn’t want to take the two of you. Why would you imagine?”
She bristled with indignation. “What’s wrong with us?”
“You’re women, so you don’t belong on a ship. He’s superstitious about it.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Maybe, but he’s the captain, so it’s up to him to decide.”
“You don’t have to be so spiteful.”
His cheeks flushed. “Sorry.”
“And why are you so certain your circumstances will be different in England? You’ve never even been there. You have no idea what it’s like.”
“My father’s cousin is a baron, and my father is rich, so our situation will be much improved after we arrive. Plus, we’ll be with Nine Lives when he reclaims his spot. Father will stand at his side as his most steadfast friend. We’ll receive enormous benefit from the connection.”
“What is Nine Lives’s spot?” she inquired.
He studied her, then shook his head. “You should ask him about it. He’ll tell you if he’s inclined to. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
She glared at him, her expression furious. She’d hoped they might engage in some furtive farewell kisses. Or perhaps he’d offer promises of eternal devotion and vows to correspond forever. She’d even secretly—pathetically—hoped that he might beg her to stay on Tenerife with him. He could propose, and she’d be his bride.
Yes, they were young, but why couldn’t it transpire?
If she wed him, she wouldn’t have to go with Helen, wouldn’t have to suffocate at Middlebury as the sister of the housekeeper. She would become Mrs. William Stone, and they would live happily ever after at a tropical camp on the beach in paradise.
With his attitude being so vastly diverse from hers, there was no doubt about it. She had no ability to judge a man’s character, and she was a naïve idiot.
“I had planned to invite you to ride to the harbor with us tomorrow,” she said.
“I probably wouldn’t,” he maddeningly responded.
“I was planning on it, but I’m not now.”
She whipped away and stormed off.
Though it was ridiculous, she had tears in her eyes. She was so angry. At her father for his constant scandals. At her mother for dying in childbirth. At Helen for her equanimity and her always being able to muddle through. At church officials for firing her father so they lost their home and income. At the Missionary Society for failing to deliver the cottage and job they’d pledged. At Nine Lives for deeming himself so haughty and imperious.
She marched to her tent, and her sister was still there, still riffling in the clothes Nine Lives had provided. She’d been packing and unpacking, making up her mind, then changing it.
What to take? What to leave behind? They would each be allowed two trunks on the ship, so what should they have with them when they docked? What was needed the most?
Becky wanted an entire new wardrobe of dresses and didn’t care about the rest.
Helen didn’t glance up, but said, “If you’re here to quarrel, please don’t tarry.”
“It’s too hot to quarrel. Besides, I already tried it with Will Stone, and it was a waste of breath.”
Helen peered over at her. “You were quarreling with Will? That seems silly. You’re about to never see him again. There’s no reason for bickering.”
“He’s just so smug. I can’t abide all that male arrogance.”
“Will is smug?” Helen asked. “I never thought so.”
“His father is so, so rich. Ooh-la-la. He’s very impressed with himself.”
“Mr. Stone is rich?”
“It’s what Will told me.”
“I guess it doesn’t surprise me. He and Nine Lives have been pirating and smuggling for years.”
“Will claims he’s too grand to socialize with the likes of us.”
“The likes of us?” Helen frowned. “What does that mean?”
“We’re vicar’s daughters, so we’re too far beneath them.”
“Will actually said that to you?”
“Yes. Aren’t you livid? Wouldn’t you like to punch him in the nose?”
“No. They all view themselves as being very superior. From Nine Lives on down, they think they’re so special. In my opinion, they can choke on their vanity.”
Becky had never heard Helen utter such a disparaging remark, and she was shocked by it. “My goodness, Helen. What’s come over you today?”
“I’m unhappy, and I’m busy. Could you entertain yourself elsewhere? I don’t have the patience to listen to your prattling.”
“All right, all right. I can’t find anybody in this stupid camp who’s not annoying. Why is everyone in such a bad mood?” She stomped over to the tent flap, and before she exited, she paused. “Did you know they’re all heading to England too?”
“Who is?”
“All of them: Nines Lives, Mr. Stone, Will, and Tom. They’re sailing on the Nine Lives. It’s why they’ve been loading supplies.”
Helen scowled. “When are they departing?”
“I’m not sure. Soon—but they wouldn’t take us. They couldn’t bear to have our paltry presence sully their magnificent boat.”
Suddenly, the flap was opened, and Nine Lives stepped in. She was terribly grouchy, and at the moment, she couldn’t stomach his pompous posturing.
“Hello, Nine Lives.”
“Hello, Becky.”
“Will Stone tells me you have a huge secret you’re hiding from us, but he wouldn’t give me even a hint of what it is. He said I should ask you.”
Nine Lives didn’t answer her question. “Would you excuse us? I need to talk to your sister privately.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” Helen fiercely stated.
“Why not?” Becky inquired.
“I just…don’t. Don’t leave me alone with him.”
Becky was torn, and she hesitated. She was anxious to support her sister, and she’d like to sit in on any spat, but Nine Lives gestured outside.
“Go, Becky,” he ordered, “and don’t slither back until your sister and I are finished.”
“You look really irate,” she pointed out. “I shouldn’t abandon her while you’re in such an animated condition.”
He was such a commanding fellow, and she had no idea how to disobey him. She skittered out, and she didn’t consider eavesdropping for a single second.
CHAPTER NINE
“What can I do for you, Mr. Nine Lives?”
Helen threw a handful of clothes on the bed and whipped around to face him.
“You’re packing,” he stupidly said as if he was surprised by it.
“Yes, I’m packing. We’re leaving tomorrow, remember?”
“I remember.”
The tent was a mess. She’d repeatedly sifted through the mounds of lady’s garments he’d given them, figuring she’d pick out her favorites and bring them along. She was a poor woman with no income, so new clothes were a great boon. But in the end, she’d simply tossed it all in a huge pile in the corner.
He glared at it and frowned. “You’re not taking any of it?”
“No. I’m hoping to work as a housekeeper when I arrive in England. I don’t require a trunk of frilly dresses for that sort of position.”
“You can have all of it.”
“First off, we don’t have room, and second, I’m not keeping any gifts from you.”
Her remark was rude and surly and completely out of character for the person she always tried to be, but she’d reached a point where she just didn’t care. If he didn’t like her attitude, he didn’t have to stay.
A muscle ticked in his cheek, his temper flaring. “I hate seeing you in black, and you look so pretty when you wear a different color.”
“My choice of outfit is none of your business, and it particularly won’t be once I’m home. My wardrobe can hardly concern you.”
He stomped over to her, and for a shocking moment, it seemed as if he might pull her into his arms. She braced and moved away.
“You’re so upset,” he said, “but we only have a few more hours together. Let’s not spend them bickering.”
“Would you please go away? I’m very busy this morning.”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk to you.”
He appeared flummoxed, which was amusing to witness. He was so arrogant, so pretentiously certain of his place in the world. He was used to people fawning over him, and hadn’t she done just that?
She was such a fool.
“Last night,” he said, “I was having a whiskey with Robert.”
“Bully for you.”
“You walked up on us.”
Yes, she had, and she’d been pummeled by every belittling, insensitive, derogatory word he’d uttered.
She hadn’t meant to interrupt as he’d been drinking with his friend, but she hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d been fretting over her father and the journey to England. Finally, she’d given up and had come outside to get some fresh air.
He’d been over by the fire with Mr. Stone, and she’d strolled over to join them. It hadn’t occurred to her to wonder what they were discussing. And what was the old adage? An eavesdropper never hears anything good about herself.
If she’d been a shrew who liked to fight and nag, she might have initiated a loud and disagreeable quarrel, but she wasn’t a shrew, and she had no idea how to mention what had happened.
Instead, she said, “Becky just shared the most interesting tidbit.”
“What was it?”
“She claims you’re sailing to England yourself. Will Stone told her.”
He flushed with chagrin. “Oh.”
An awkward pause ensued, but he didn’t confirm or deny the news. Ultimately, she said, “Well? Are you headed to England too?”
“Yes.”
“You couldn’t be bothered to escort us?”
That muscle in his cheek was ticking a tad more vehemently.
“Could we sit down for a minute?” He gestured to the table, and he went over and held out a chair for her.
“No, thank you. Just tell me what’s vexing you, then I need to finish packing.”
He plodded over to where she was loitering by the bed, and he stepped in so he was very close, but she stepped away so there was plenty of space between them.
“I know you were listening to us,” he said.
“Yes, and I’m incredibly embarrassed about it. I’m not usually so ill-mannered.”
“I might have voiced some harsh comments, and I’d like to apologize for them.”
“Why would you apologize? After all, I’m merely a lowly vicar’s daughter. I understand that.” She scoffed with derision. “With you being so grand and all, it was silly of me to imagine you viewed me in a more favorable light.”
“I think you’re wonderful,” he insisted. “I think you’re beautiful and sweet and gracious. You’re everything a man looks for in a woman.”
“I’m what most men look for,” she caustically spat. “I’m what ordinary men look for, but with you being extraordinary, I’m so far beneath you I’m amazed you can see me way down here.”
She’d been insulted frequently in her life. The past few years had been especially grueling. She couldn’t have stood by her father as his staunchest ally without having to weather all the bitterness that was leveled.
But she’d thought Nine Lives was different. She’d thought they were friends or perhaps they were more than friends.
She’d let herself dream a bit, had let herself believe they might actually wind up together. It was ludicrous, of course. She grasped that now, but it had been an eternity since she’d dreamed about anything.
The prior afternoon at the pond, he’d been eager to drag her off alone so he could address an important subject. She’d naively decided he was about to propose.
Then he’d abruptly announced that her father had left Tenerife and he was sending her home. She’d been stunned, and she’d refused to accept that he meant to part with her. It was insane behavior. She’d provided him with several openings where he could have changed his mind, but he hadn’t grabbed onto any of them.
Once she’d returned to camp, she’d assessed the interval over and over. She’d persuaded herself that he was simply a very typical male who didn’t know his own heart. He’d suffered and survived numerous ordeals, and he needed a compassionate woman by his side who would take care of him.
She was exactly who he required—as she’d demonstrated by how she’d stayed with her father through every ugly episode of scandal.
She’d assumed that, eventually, he’d see the error of his ways and realize he couldn’t live without her. But then, she’d gone out into the night and had walked over to his campfire.
As she’d lurked in the shadows, she’d been the main topic of conversation. She should have tiptoed away, but she’d always been too curious for her own good.
I can guarantee I would never stoop so low as to select a penniless spinster like Helen Barnes…I deserve better.
“I hate that you feel I was denigrating you,” he claimed.
“Don’t make this any worse than it is.”
“It’s just that I have a life approaching that can’t ever include you.”
She had some pride remaining, and she would wrap herself in it like a shroud. “You’re acting as if you supposed I’d envisioned a future with you.”
“Ah…ah…”
“I’m sure this will astonish you—you being so exalted and all—but I have a father to find. I have a sister to support and finish raising. I don’t have the energy to engage in a frivolous romance with a brigand.”
“We’re very compatible,” he said.
“We have been, but so what?”
“We grew close very fast.”
“Again, so what?”
“You haven’t had much experience with amour.”
She studied him scathingly. “I’ve had enough to discover it doesn’t interest me.”
“I might have taken advantage of you.”
“You might have
?” She was so furious she could have slapped him. “If I had a father who could speak for me, you and I would be marching to the altar.”
He blew out a heavy breath. “Would you stop?”
“Stop what?”
“Stop being such a shrew. I’m trying to talk to you. I’m trying to explain myself.”
“Has it occurred to you that any explanation would be pointless?”
“No, it hasn’t. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“I presumed we were, but clearly, I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong. Now listen to me.”
She wasn’t about to permit him to direct the discussion. Where he was concerned, she was a complete dunce. He could spew any lie, and she’d believe it.
“Let’s get back to your heading to London,” she said.
“Fine, let’s do.”
“You’re sailing there on the Nine Lives?”
“Yes.”
“You wouldn’t take us with you. Why?”
“I just…just…”
“Don’t injure yourself while you’re jumping through hoops to rationalize your conduct. I’ve figured out what’s happening. You were happy to trifle with me on deserted beaches where there were no witnesses, but you draw the line at debarking in London, at having people observe your grand self consorting with me when I’m so common.”
“That’s not it!”
“What is it then?”
“There are secrets about my past that prevent any relationship between us.”
“Yes, you’ve been absolutely furtive. With you being so exceptional, you couldn’t trust me with any information.” She leaned in and sneered, “Not even your true name. Heaven forbid that I learn it. I might have blabbed it aloud!”
“I used to declare it everywhere I went,” he said, “but it simply brought me an enormous amount of trouble and ridicule.”
She sighed. “You’re laboring under the very misguided notion that I care about any of this. I don’t! I am a very normal female who yearns for small boons. I assumed you were fond of me.”
“I was! I am!”
“For a minute yesterday, when we were at the pond, I expected you were about to propose marriage.”
Her admission rattled him. He froze, then shook his head. “You did not.”
