Forever

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by Holt, Cheryl


  He’d fled England? He wasn’t coming back? He was eager to be divorced? What? What? The bastard hadn’t even signed it!

  What was she to do? Where was she to go? Middlebury was the only viable option. If she crawled there on her hands and knees, if she threw herself on Henley’s mercy, would he assist her? After all, he’d given Jasper money, but Jasper had absconded with it. Shouldn’t he give some to Des too?

  Of course there was the little problem of her attempting to kill him. She didn’t suppose he was the type to forgive an attack like that.

  She was overwhelmed by dismay, and she flopped onto the mattress and stared at the ceiling for hours, her mind awhirl with pointless schemes. Eventually, it dawned on her that she was starving. She pushed herself to her feet and rummaged around in the mess to locate her purse.

  She opened it and gazed inside, but while she’d remembered still having a few coins, the blasted bag was empty. When had she spent her last farthing?

  She stuck her fingers in and pulled them out over and over, but no matter how often she checked, the result was always the same: The bag was still empty and her last farthing was gone.

  * * * *

  Jasper stood at the bow of the ship. A wave crashed, water splashing over the deck, wetting his trousers and boots, but he wasn’t concerned. It was cold and bracing, the air refreshing, so he paid extra attention and absorbed every detail.

  The snippet of earth referred to as Land’s End disappeared as they sailed away from all that was familiar.

  Goodbye England! Goodbye Desdemona! Goodbye every bloody thing!

  Fate had propelled him to the highest echelons of society, but Fate had brought him crashing down quickly enough. He owed so much money, in so many places, and without a title to shield him, debtor’s prison had been a real danger.

  Before he’d been raised up to be earl, he’d been an ordinary man, but splendor and wealth had made him pompous and pretentious. He’d become a horrid person, had become cruel and petty, with the consequence being that no one liked him.

  No one liked him.

  When confronted by catastrophe, he’d swiftly discovered he had no peers to offer advice or support. There had only been shrewish, malicious Desdemona, and having her was the same as having no one at all. He was on his own. Why not cut the cord and float away from his obligations? Why not?

  With the loss of his position, what reason was there to stay? The world he’d been handed—totally by accident—had been yanked away, and he couldn’t bear to consider the effort it would have required to rebuild on a different road.

  Through it all, his wife would have been there, nitpicking and complaining but not helping at all. He truly believed he might have murdered her before it was all over.

  Hayden could have it all. Hayden could take charge and shift the whole, stupid burden onto his wide shoulders. And Jasper? Jasper would start over—where no one knew him, where no one expected anything from him.

  He inhaled the first deep breath he’d taken in ages. Then he turned away from England and faced forward, free and alone and ready to embrace whatever was coming next.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Miss Barnes?”

  “Yes?”

  Helen was loafing in her room in the teacher’s dormitory. The facility consisted of four buildings with a courtyard in the middle. They were constructed from a dull gray brick, and the window trim hadn’t been painted in decades. She’d always thought it looked more like a prison than a school.

  The former owner, Miss Peabody, had run it with tuition paid by parents, so there had never been sufficient funds for any repairs. Usually, she’d barely kept the doors open, but Helen’s friend, Evangeline, was rich. Improvements were being implemented, beginning with new stoves in all the rooms, which would make a huge difference on cold winter nights.

  On hearing her name called, she spun to find that a student had come upstairs, and she was a tad startled to have a visitor. The place was silent as a tomb. The other teachers and most of the students were off for the remainder of the summer holiday. They’d all return in mid-September for the autumn session, but a few girls had nowhere to go and boarded year ‘round.

  Helen wasn’t used to having so much peace and quiet, and she struggled to envision the halls when they’d be cheery, boisterous, and crowded, but she couldn’t imagine it.

  “What did you need?” she asked.

  “Miss Blair is interviewing a father, and his daughters are in the courtyard. She was wondering if you could entertain them until she’s finished.”

  “I’d be delighted to. I’ll be right down.”

  The student left, and Helen peered out the window.

  Miss Blair was Evangeline’s cousin, Katherine, who had traveled from Scotland to serve as headmistress. By requesting that Helen entertain the potential students, she understood what Katherine wanted.

  Evangeline was trying to elevate the caliber of students they accepted. She’d have Helen conduct a sly interrogation, then offer her opinion as to whether they should be enrolled.

  Helen could see them down below. They were ten or so, thin and lithe, pretty, with bright blond hair braided down their backs. They appeared to be twins, and their heads were pressed close, as if they were whispering and plotting.

  They didn’t realize she was spying on them, and they were peeking into the classrooms, seeming interested and curious. Helen could already tell they would be a perfect match.

  She went down the stairs and out into the courtyard. As she approached, they straightened and smiled.

  “Hello,” she said to them. “I’m Miss Barnes. I’m a teacher.”

  “You are Miss Barnes?”

  “Yes.”

  They evaluated her carefully, their gorgeous blue eyes assessing every detail as if she was being appraised for a special purpose. Evidently, she passed the test they had been administering, because they glanced at each other, then one of them murmured. “You’re splendid.”

  Helen chuckled. “I’m thrilled that you think so.”

  “Oh, we do. We definitely do.” They giggled and smirked.

  “I was told you might come to our school,” Helen said.

  “Is it a good spot? Would we be happy?”

  “You’d be very happy,” Helen said. “I was a student here myself when I was about your age.”

  “We might be allowed to attend when we’re older, but for now, our father likes to have us at home. He’d miss us too much.”

  The other one said, “Actually, both of our fathers would miss us. They both like to have us at home.”

  At the comment, Helen tried not to scowl, but she didn’t succeed. “Both your fathers?”

  “Yes, we have two of them.”

  “Well…ah…aren’t you lucky?”

  “We are lucky.”

  Behind her, footsteps sounded. From the firm strides, she was positive it was a man, and from how the twins were suddenly beaming, it could only be their father. If it was, the appointment with Katherine had been very short. Had he decided not to register them?

  “Hello, Helen,” he said before she could turn toward him.

  She froze, a ripple of fury washing through her. She’d know that pompous, annoying voice anywhere. She whipped around and snapped, “What are you doing here, Lord Middlebury?”

  She hated to seem shrewish in front of the two girls, but they were children and didn’t notice. They laughed and clapped their hands, and one of them asked, “Have we surprised you, Miss Barnes? Was he the last person you expected this afternoon?”

  “Yes,” Helen tightly said, “I’m very surprised.”

  She was shooting visual daggers at him, but rogue that he was, he simply grinned his devil’s grin. “I see you’ve been chatting with my daughters.”

  “Your…daughters?”

  She studied them, and she was bluntly hit over the head with their identity. Of course they were his daughters. With t
heir golden blond hair and big blue eyes, how could she not have noted the resemblance?

  “Girls,” he said, “have you introduced yourselves?”

  “We haven’t had the chance.”

  He held out his arms to them, and they rushed over and snuggled themselves to him, one on each side.

  “Helen,” he said, “this is Millie”—her gave her a shake—“and this is Mary.” He gave her a shake too.

  They gazed up at him as if he hung the moon.

  “It’s lovely to meet you, Mary and Millie,” Helen managed to say.

  “It’s lovely to meet you too, Miss Barnes,” they said together, and Millie added, “We’ve heard all about you.”

  This set off another round of giggles, and Helen was completely bewildered as to how she should act. She was so distraught that she could barely be civil.

  “I need to talk to Miss Barnes alone,” he told them.

  “We don’t need to talk alone,” Helen staunchly insisted, but he ignored her.

  “Do you remember where the front entry is?”

  “Yes.” They nodded.

  “Miss Blair has some tea and biscuits waiting for you. Fill your bellies, and I’ll find you when we’re finished.”

  They pulled away from him and skipped off across the courtyard, stopping just once so Millie could call to him, “She’s perfect.”

  “I’m glad you approve,” he said.

  They kept on, and he hollered after them, “No eavesdropping, you two!”

  “We won’t.”

  “I mean it!”

  “We do too!”

  They vanished into the main building, and a horrible silence descended. He was still grinning, proud of himself, as if he’d played the greatest trick ever. She couldn’t bear to have him sauntering in, looking so masculine and wonderful. They’d only parted a few days earlier, and she hadn’t had sufficient opportunity to tamp down her affection.

  In light of her intense fondness, she’d require months or perhaps years to get over him. Perhaps she’d never get over him, and it was so unfair of him to bluster in unannounced.

  How was she to fend off his potent allure? She’d never been able to deflect it. He oozed manly charisma. No woman could protect herself from it, and she certainly couldn’t. She wasn’t about to dawdle with him, to watch as he strutted and preened.

  Had he come to investigate the school? Or had he come merely to aggravate Helen? It didn’t matter. Whatever his motivation, she wanted him gone.

  Apparently though, he had information he was dying to impart, and with how vain he was, he wouldn’t leave until he had his say. She was determined to hurry him along.

  “I asked what you’re doing,” she said, “but you didn’t tell me. Why are you here?”

  “I had to fetch you.”

  “Fetch me where?”

  “To Middlebury.”

  She snorted with disgust. “Aren’t you the conceited swine who apprised me that I had no place there and my job was ending?”

  “Oh, that.” He waved away her words. “Why must you always take me so seriously? I didn’t mean it.”

  “You meant it, you bounder. Don’t pretend. What’s wrong? Has Mrs. Jenkins quit already? Is that it? You drove your new housekeeper insane, so you don’t have one and you need me back?”

  “No, she’s still there, and she’s terrific.”

  “So…I’d be there to do what?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  “No.”

  “Helen, you are the thickest female ever.”

  “And you’re the biggest horse’s ass. And don’t call me Helen. It’s Miss Barnes to you.”

  He studied her, then shook his head with exasperation. “You’re angry with me.”

  “Angry doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling. How about murderous? How about homicidally inclined? My cousin shot you. Maybe that sort of fury runs in the family.”

  “Maybe.” He laughed as if Desdemona trying to kill him was of no account. “Would you really shoot me if you had the chance?”

  “If I had a pistol in my hand? Yes, absolutely.”

  “You fly into a dither over the least little problem. I didn’t realize you were prone to hysterics.”

  “I didn’t either, but you’ve rattled loose a whole new side of my personality.”

  “What is your opinion of my daughters?”

  “They’re wonderful.”

  “Aren’t they though? My sister, Abigail, has charge of them, and she let them travel to Middlebury with me. She wasn’t too keen on allowing me to traipse off with them, so it was doubtful for a bit, but she relented.” He paused and chuckled. “I would have left with them whether she consented or not. I wore her down.”

  “I’m glad they’re with you. I’m glad you showed them Middlebury.”

  “I brought them there to meet you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you, but you weren’t there, so we had to trot across the country to locate you.”

  “You found me. Bully for you. Will that be all?”

  “No, that won’t be all. You need to pack your bags.”

  “I’m not packing my bags.”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’ll have to.”

  Ooh, she couldn’t abide his domineering manner. “Why is that?”

  “You’ve been let go.”

  “Let go? What are you talking about?”

  “I suppose it would be more technically correct to say you’ve been fired.”

  She sucked in a sharp breath and peered over at the main building, wishing she could see into Katherine’s office.

  “What have you done?” she seethed. She attempted to stomp off, but he grabbed her arm to stop her.

  “Hold on,” he said.

  “Unhand me.”

  “No.”

  She jerked away and glared up at him. He was cocky and confident, as if he was positive he could bend the rules of the universe so they fell in his direction.

  “I spoke to the headmistress, Miss Blair,” he said, “and we’ve decided you’re not a suitable candidate to teach here after all.”

  “What? What?” She was sputtering with offense. “She’d never listen to you!”

  “It was easy to coerce her. Women are so malleable.”

  “Lord Middlebury, you have no connection to me whatsoever. You are not my husband or my brother or my father. You have no right to barge in and speak to anyone about me, especially Miss Blair.”

  “It was quite mad for you to have fled Middlebury. I’m saving you from yourself.”

  “Saving me!”

  “Yes. We’re both aware that you can’t be permitted to wander off on your own. You’re completely incapable of taking care of yourself. Over the short period of our acquaintance, I’ve witnessed plenty of evidence of your inability to function. I’m not about to have you loaf at this stupid school until you imperil yourself.”

  “Imperil myself!”

  She was so livid that red dots had formed on the edge of her vision, and she worried she might swoon for the first time ever.

  “You’re a walking, talking disaster,” he said, “so we’re going home.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Well, you can’t stay here. You just lost your job.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  “You can plead with Miss Blair, but it won’t do you any good.”

  “Really?” She oozed sarcasm.

  “Yes, really. I might have made a huge donation to reserve spots for Mary and Millie later on.”

  “You made a donation?” she repeated like an idiot.

  “Yes, and I’ve typically found, when money changes hands, the person spending it gets what he wants. That would be me.”

  “You demanded she fire me,” she caustically spat.

  “The word fire is a tad harsh. I told her it was ludicrous for you to waste you
r life as a spinster schoolteacher, and she agreed.” He pointed to the dormitory. “Why don’t you run up and pack your bags? We’ll be on our way.”

  There was a bench a few feet away, and she staggered over and plopped down. She stared at the grass, and she could feel him watching her, looming over her like a giant predator, like an African lion that was about to leap out of the jungle and devour her.

  He was so smug, so certain he could command her and she’d obey. What was he expecting? Would she totter around his empty mansion until he had another tantrum and ordered her to leave? Mrs. Jenkins was working as his housekeeper, so if Helen returned, she wouldn’t even have chores to keep her busy.

  What would be her role? Would she simply sit in a corner and wait until he needed someone to ogle him with a bit of hero worship? Well, the joke was on him. She no longer worshipped him, and he was nobody’s hero.

  “You left your father and sister at Middlebury,” he complained. “That is so unlike you.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Aren’t you concerned about them? What if I kick them out?”

  “I’m sure you will—eventually—but I can’t worry about them. I have to worry about myself.”

  “Helen, that’s an incredibly selfish attitude.”

  “Isn’t it though?”

  She pulled her gaze from the grass and focused it on him. With the sun shining down, the blue sky behind him, he appeared so virile and magnificent, so tough and powerful.

  She remembered all the endearing moments she’d shared with him, how she’d viewed him as marvelous and amazing, but then, she forced herself to remember all the hideous moments too, when he’d been cruel and abrupt and blindly oblivious.

  “What am I suppose to do?” she inquired.

  “I told you. We’re departing for Middlebury, and we should get moving. I have a wedding to attend at Wallace Downs, and I can’t fritter away many more days fussing with you and begging you to act appropriately.”

  Helen scoffed with derision. “So go to your wedding. No one asked you to stop by.”

 

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