A Father's Promise

by Marcia Evanick

  Within minutes there were all gathered around Thomas's chair hugging one another and crying. It took several more minutes before everyone calmed down enough to actually talk.

  Thomas broke the silence. "Well, Ellis, what's the next step?" Trevor was still protectively on his lap, being wrapped in his warm embrace. Sydney remembered that embrace and the sense of security it had brought her. Now she leaned back into Ellis and felt the same sense of protection.

  Ellis's hand was warm against her hip as he pulled her closer. "Now the really hard part begins."

  * * *

  Sydney glanced up at the moon and smiled. She couldn't help but smile. She had been smiling all evening, ever since they received word that Arthur Graystone was able to be a donor. Ellis had explained about the next procedure and the actual transplant in calm, sensible words that wouldn't frighten Trevor. She had read in between the words and knew the next step wasn't going to be a picnic. But Trevor's best chance at conquering the disease was a transplant, so a transplant he would get.

  "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are in the moonlight?" Ellis squeezed her hand and continued to walk the path through the acres of trees.

  "No, we haven't actually been under the moonlight a lot." She moved closer to him and pressed her head against his shoulder. His compliment was sweet, but she wasn't going to hold him to it. Tonight, of all nights, he would compliment a toad if one should happen to hop across his path. His rose-colored glasses were definitely on.

  Ellis pulled her closer and stopped. "We can change that, Syd?"

  "Change what?" She studied his face, all shadowy in the moonlight. A new note had crept into his voice. She couldn't pinpoint what emotion it was.

  "Walks in the moonlights." His hand grazed her cheek.

  "You want to walk in the moonlight more often?"

  "Yes, every night should do it."

  She shook her head and softly chuckled. "Every night?" Ellis was more of a dreamer than she had originally thought. "How do you propose that one?"

  "Marry me." Strong arms tugged her closer. "If we were married, we could walk in the moonlight every night."

  Marry me! Good Lord, Ellis had just asked her to marry him! She started to shake her head, only he stopped her with a frown.

  "I know it's not fair of me to ask you to take on Trevor's illness, but at least now there's a good chance for a cure."

  "What does Trevor's illness have to do with my marrying you or not?" She was getting a funny little feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  "It should have everything to do with your answer, Sydney." Ellis brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the center of her palm. "My son is part of me and his illness touches every aspect of our lives. I love you and I know that you love me even if you have never said the words to me. I can see it in your eyes and feel it in your touch." Ellis stared into her eyes. "I would understand your hesitancy in…"

  "Wait a minute. Do you think I wouldn't marry you because of Trevor?" That funny little feeling just turned sour.

  "It has crossed my mind."

  "Well uncross it, Carlisle." She yanked her hand out of his and glared. "How can you say that you love me when you obviously think so little of me?"

  "I'm getting the feeling that you are about to turn down my proposal, Sydney. If Trevor isn't the reason, what is?"

  She turned away from Ellis and studied the darkened silhouettes of the trees against the night sky. This was it. This was when she either had to take the risk of loving Ellis, or push him away. If she pushed him away, he would think she was doing it because of Trevor and that would be too cruel. A weary sigh escaped her throat as she jammed her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans. "I don't know who I am, Ellis."

  "Are you referring to you being adopted?"

  No, I'm referring to me being abandoned. "I guess you could say that." She felt Ellis move closer to her, but she still didn't turn around. "I don't know my real last name. I don't know who my natural parents were." A broken little cry melted into her words. "I don't even know which part of the country I'm from."

  Ellis reached out and stroked her shoulders. "If the answers to those questions mean so much to you, Syd, I could help you find them."

  She was amazed at the simplicity and straightforwardness of his reply. He would help her learn the answers to the questions. Thousands of adopted children seek out their natural parents years after they have grown up. Did she really want to find her natural mother and father?

  She shook her head. She already had one mother, and the father she had now was just fine. "No, thank you." The warmth and strength of Ellis's hands were working out the tension that had built in her neck. She relaxed into his hands. "Do you know they dropped me off at some gas station when I was just four and never came back for me?" She tried to keep the tears and the self-pity out of her voice.

  "I already knew that, Syd. Thomas told me." Ellis's hands didn't break the rhythm.

  "You're a parent, Ellis. What could a four-year-old do that would make you abandon that child in some gas station bathroom along the interstate?"

  Ellis's hands froze.

  "It had to be something terrible, don't you think?"

  He slowly turned her around. "No, Sydney, I don't think you did anything terrible. Little four-year-old girls couldn't possibly do anything that had to make their parents abandon them. You didn't do anything, Syd." His hands cupped her cheeks. "It was your parents' failure, not yours."

  She shook her head as tears blurred her vision. "The first foster home they put me in was run by a nice lady named Muriel. She had a bunch of foster kids and we all loved it there. We were a family." She couldn't prevent the tears from overflowing. "I was happy there and I loved Muriel and all my foster brothers and sisters."

  "What happened?"

  "I don't know." She shrugged. "I came home from school one day and my bags were already packed and I was taken away and put into another home."

  "Why?"

  "Muriel tried to explain, but the lady who took me away wouldn't let her. Muriel said it was about some change in the law and that she had too many kids. I guess I was the one she didn't want." She used the sleeve of her jacket to wipe at the tears. "I never even got to say goodbye to the other kids. They were all sent to their rooms."

  "Did Muriel get any other kids after you?"

  "No."

  "Then don't you see, Syd? You were taken not because you weren't wanted or did something wrong. You were taken because you were the last child she acquired."

  She shook her head. Ellis still didn't understand. "No, don't you see? I was never good enough for any of them." She had to make him understand. "What will happen if one day after we are married you wake up and realize that I'm not good enough to be your wife? Don't you see? I love you more than life and I could never withstand being abandoned by you. Especially by you. My heart would never recover."

  Ellis hauled her into his arms and hugged her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. "Lord, what have they done to you?"

  She pressed her face against his chest and shuddered. She had taken the first step to conquering her fear of abandonment. She'd told Ellis about her fear and she'd told him that she loved him. Maybe today was really the day for miracles.

  "Sydney?" Ellis stepped back and cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. "Do you love me?"

  "Yes." What else could she have said? It was the truth.

  "Do you believe that I love you?"

  "Yes." She didn't doubt his love for one moment.

  Ellis smiled. "I need you to believe one more thing, love."

  "What?"

  "Believe with all your heart that I would never leave you." Ellis's lips were light as they skimmed her jaw. "I can't change what was done to you in the past, but I can give you a future. A future that contains a loving husband and a son who has just been given the gift of hope."

  She studied his face in the darkness. Nothing but truth radiated from his words and from hi
s eyes. Suddenly it seemed so clear and easy. Loving wasn't hard or hurtful. Loving was a joyful and happy feeling. She softly smiled. "I believe, Ellis."

  "Then will you do me the honor of becoming my wife and the mother of my son?"

  She threw her arms around his neck and planted a row of kisses up his throat to the corner of his mouth. Ellis was laughing and swinging her around. Her feet left the ground as she tilted back her head and shouted to the heavens, "Yes, yes, yes!"

  Epilogue

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  Sydney felt the baby's shoulders turn and finally work their way free of her body. The rest of the child followed in a great rush. The pressure dissolved with the birth of her child. She had a child!

  She strained to see what the doctor was doing as exhaustion took its toll and she collapsed back onto the pillows.

  "It's a girl, Syd! We have a daughter!" Ellis was peering over the doctor's shoulder.

  I have a daughter! She smiled at her husband, who was wearing green surgical scrubs and appeared ready to burst with pride. Correction, we have a daughter. The small cries from the bundle being cradled in the doctor's arms pulled at her heart. "Is she okay?"

  The doctor glanced up and grinned. "She looks perfect to me. All little toes and fingers are accounted for."

  Ellis was handed a pair of scissors and he carefully cut the cord. A moment later a nurse handed him his daughter wrapped in a pink receiving blanket.

  She studied her husband as he tenderly stroked the back of the baby's hand. Tears were clouding his eyes as he cradled the child closer to his heart. It wasn't possible to love a person more than she loved Ellis. Two years of marriage had only built on that love.

  She remembered him telling her about being in the delivery room when Trevor was born and how he had bonded with his son. She had thought it was sweet at the time. Now she knew different. It wasn't sweet. It was powerful. She could feel the love Ellis was pouring out to the child in his arms. To their daughter. To Julia Catherine Carlisle.

  Ellis walked to the side of the bed and tenderly placed their daughter on her chest. Strong capable fingers brushed aside a damp curl from her face. "She's beautiful, Syd." He placed a kiss on her parched lips. "Just like her mother."

  She could only imagine what she must look like. She had gone through over eight hours of labor and she felt like it. "I think the delivery has damaged your eyesight."

  Ellis's hands trembled against her cheeks. "I've never seen better in my life." This time when he bent and kissed her it wasn't some light brush. He kissed as if he meant it.

  Sydney smiled against his mouth but she couldn't release the precious bundle cradled on her chest.

  Ellis broke the kiss and grinned. "Did I tell you today that I love you?"

  "At least a hundred times. I swear, every time I had a contraction you told me." She moved the blanket aside a tiny bit and stared at her daughter. "You are right, Ellis. She's beautiful." Her hand reached out and lightly caressed one of the baby's tiny pink fingers. It was soft. "Hello, Julia Catherine Carlisle, I'm your mommy."

  Ellis's strong finger skimmed the baby's cheek.

  "Excuse me, but I need to take Julia now." The nurse smiled and carefully lifted the child.

  "Oh, can't I hold her a moment longer?" She felt tears fill her eyes. She wanted to hold her daughter.

  "We'll only be a couple of minutes. She has to be weighed, measured, footprinted and banded." The nurse gave her a comforting smile and a wink. "I'll hurry, okay?"

  She nodded and glanced longingly at the pink bundle as the nurse disappeared through the door. "Is everyone still waiting?"

  Ellis reached for her hand and held it. "I haven't been out there in a while, but the last time I checked there seemed to be a party going on."

  She relaxed into the pillows as the doctor announced he was done putting the finishing touches to her. "You should go out there and tell Trevor he has a baby sister." Trevor had been a nervous wreck, following her around the house and the nursery for weeks. He had been scared he would miss the big event. She would have crossed her legs and waited for Trevor to get home from school before having the baby without him there. She smiled. Trevor would always be there. His transplant had been a success. The prognosis was for a full and complete recovery.

  "I will in a minute. I want to make sure you're all right, first."

  "I'm fine, just a little tired." She shifted and found a more comfortable position. "Who's all out there anyway?"

  "Trevor, your father and Rita." Ellis tucked the blanket neatly around her arm, making sure he didn't tangle it in the IV line. "Cindy was there delivering pizza and John was swearing he had been at the hospital on business anyway so he thought he'd check in."

  "Sounds like a circus out there." She yawned. "Was Arthur there?" Ellis still had a hard time adjusting to having his father come around, but Arthur was persistent. Thomas and Arthur had become Trevor's grandfathers and the little boy loved them both. She thought it was good for both Trevor and Ellis that Arthur didn't fade into the woodwork. After all, they all lived in the same town and no matter how much they had tried to keep Arthur's part in the transplant a secret, it had become public knowledge. Mostly due to Sophie who, after her initial anger at her husband, declared to anyone who would listen that Arthur was a hero.

  "Yeah, he's here." Ellis sounded disgusted.

  She reached out and took his hand. "Let him be, love. I feel sorry for him."

  "Sorry?" He seemed quite taken aback.

  "Yes." She smoothed her fingers over the back of his hand. "Think of all he has missed, Ellis." She nodded to the delivery room around them.

  He squeezed her hand lightly. "He missed it all, didn't he."

  "Yes, he did." She felt her eyes get heavy and wondered when they were going to bring Julia back to her. "You are the one who taught me we can't change the past, only the future."

  "Are you trying to tell me to practice what I preach?"

  "Maybe." She lost the battle against the heaviness of her eyelids and closed her eyes. "What I am trying to tell you is that I love you, Ellis, and that you've made me the happiest woman in the world. You're very good at keeping your promises." She felt his light kiss as she softly succumbed to the gentle calling of sleep.

  * * * *

  Inhaltsverzeichnis

  Prologue

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  Epilogue

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