Alix blinked and looked at me. “Were we just dazzled by that blood drinker?”
I stared at the empty staircase. I could still see faint tendrils of Danilo’s cold light trailing in his wake. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. “I think so.”
A roar of applause from inside the theater told us we’d missed the entire second act. The doors would be opening soon.
Alix pulled on my arm again. “Come on. I have a terrible feeling about that ballerina.” She was no longer concerned with the crown prince. She led me around the upper hallway until we came to a second staircase, which led down behind the stage. The dressing rooms were full of half-dressed dancers, their faces heavily painted and garish up close. They looked at us curiously but no one bothered us. “I want to know if Nicholas is spending time with her.”
“Surely he wouldn’t be so foolish if he knows you are here tonight.”
“I believe he’s been blinded by his infatuation for her. He doesn’t know I’m here.”
A flurry of high-pitched voices entered the backstage area. Giddy ballerinas were flirting with a few handsome young men, and a few handsome older men as well.
“Aren’t you a pretty little thing,” I heard Grand Duke Vladimir saying to one of them. “If I were only twenty years younger,” he added with a sigh.
Alix’s eyes grew big. “Is that the Koldun? What would Grand Duchess Miechen say if she heard?”
“He wouldn’t dare,” I said. “The grand duchess would cut his heart out and eat it for dinner if he were unfaithful to her.”
“Nicky, you brought me a present!” A melodic little voice carried from a darkened corner of the hall.
I watched Alix’s face turn ghostly pale.
“I hope you like it,” the tsarevitch said shyly to the faerie dancer Kschessinska. She was smiling over a tiny jewelry box. What kind of trinket had he given her?
I worried that George might be close by too. Was he also seeking comfort among the painted dancers after our fight? I didn’t think I could bear to see that. I tugged on Alix’s arm. “Please, let’s get out of here. You don’t need to see this. Maman and your sister will be looking for us.”
“You’re right,” Alix said, turning and racing up the stairs so fast she almost left me behind. The princess’s voice showed no emotion when she turned around to speak again. “I’ll tell Ella and Sergei tonight about the crown prince’s warning. They will send word to the tsar.”
10
I was invited to the palace of Grand Duke and Duchess Sergei Alexandrovich to say farewell to the Hessian sisters before they left for their country estate outside of Moscow. Their only brother, Ernest, and their sisters, Victoria and Irene, had arrived from Hesse to accompany them on a family retreat.
Dariya and I attended the elegant French dinner at the Sergei Palace on the Moika River. It was here, on a bitterly cold winter night almost two years ago, that Count Chermenensky, the first human creature I’d ever raised from the dead, had tried to protect me from one of Princess Cantacuzene’s undead creatures. I passed the glass conservatory with my cousin on our way to the dining hall. Seeing the door to the outdoor garden gave me chills, even on this unseasonably mild September night. The poor count had later been destroyed protecting me from Konstantin at Peterhof. How many more members of the Order of St. Lazarus would meet the same fate before the lich tsar was defeated once and for all?
“Katiya, where have you been hiding yourself?” Dariya was asking. “I haven’t seen you at the Vladimir Palace in ages. Your mother says you’ve been busy visiting the sick? Don’t you ever grow tired of illness and death?”
I looked up at her, surprised. I never grew tired of studying disease processes. Death saddened me, but I was grateful for the lessons it offered. “Is that how you see me? As a ghoulish student surrounded by misery? I am not miserable.”
Dariya looked at me sympathetically. “Then why are your eyes so sad? Why are you not seeking out the tsar’s son?”
A sick feeling bloomed deep inside. “Is he here tonight?”
Dariya shook her head. “Why are you not where he is? Tonight he dines with his brother at his uncle Alexei’s. With the ballerinas from the Mariinsky Theater.”
“How do you know this?” I asked, the sick feeling in my stomach growing worse. I hoped Alix had not heard this rumor.
Dariya smiled. “Zina told me. She was furious when she found out.”
“Why?”
“She and Grand Duke Alexei are fighting at the moment.”
I looked at her in shock. Of course, I should have known all along. “They are having an affair? Does your father know?”
Dariya shrugged. “My father is in Biarritz with his own mistress. He left me to fend for myself against the dragon Zina a long time ago. I don’t care anymore, Katiya. All that matters is that I find a wealthy prince and get a house of my own.”
I wrapped my cousin in a fierce embrace. I had had no idea the marriage of her father and stepmother was so miserable. I’d grown up naïvely in a happy household, with parents who’d also grown up in happy households. I’d always assumed I’d have the same happily-ever-after. At least there was still hope for Petya.
“Gracious, Katiya! It’s not quite so terrible!” Dariya said, surprised at my affection. “Oh good, it looks like we’re having oysters tonight,” she added, noticing the zakuski table. She picked up a glass of champagne and tipped it toward me. “Here’s to an interesting evening.”
I looked around the reception hall for Alix and noticed her speaking with Grand Duke Sergei. As much as I liked Alix and her sister, the grand duke frightened me with his cruel black eyes. I turned back and found a glass of champagne, sipping it for courage. Dariya had already slipped away to flirt with young men in the grand duke’s regiment. It appeared that Prince Kotchoubey was still her favorite.
I left my half-full glass on a servant’s silver tray and approached Alix. She smiled when she saw me. “Katerina Alexandrovna,” she said. “I’m so happy you’re here tonight.”
Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich frowned at me, his needle-sharp eyes taking in my appearance as if he did not approve. “Duchess,” he said with a crisp bow and a click of his boot heels. “I hope you are enjoying yourself this evening.”
“Of course, Your Imperial Highness. You have a beautiful home.”
He nodded politely. “If you will excuse me, Alix, I must find your sister.”
“He wants every little thing to be perfect,” Alix said. “Sometimes I think he cares more about party details than Ella does.”
“It’s a lovely dinner,” I said, glancing around at the sparkling china and silver. Delicate orchids and roses bloomed in crystal vases everywhere.
“I dread leaving St. Petersburg,” Alix said. “I feel evil creeping through the streets. And it’s not just the Dark Court.”
She would be overly sensitive right now. It was close to the full moon, when she and her sister roamed the streets as wolf-folk, protecting the innocent from evil creatures. I was grateful and lucky she no longer considered me one of her prey. I wondered what the grand duke thought of his wife and sister-in-law’s feral activities. Rumors circulated in Moscow that he and his soldiers were the ones howling like wolves on bitter cold nights. I wondered if they joined the women in order to keep an eye on them.
Alix frowned. “Is the crown prince still in town? Has he tried to speak to you again?”
I shook my head. Whatever Danilo’s plans were, I hoped they did not involve me. Since the crown prince’s arrest in May, I’d asked Dr. Badmaev to teach me to block him from my mind. Danilo’s ascension ritual in Cetinje had forged a powerful blood bond between us, and now I had a hard time keeping the crown prince from hearing my thoughts. The bond had linked our minds in an uncomfortably intimate way. The Tibetan had told me there was nothing that could get rid of this blood bond except death. But I had finally learned to close my mind off from him. Some of the time, at least. I suspected my efforts mostly amused
the crown prince. I didn’t want George to know just how strong my bond with Danilo was. Even I didn’t want to know the depths of it.
We were getting ready to sit down for dinner when the footman announced the arrival of the imperial family. The empress and her eldest children had come to bid farewell to Ella and Alix. Perhaps Her Imperial Highness had cut her sons’ party with the ballerinas short.
Everyone pressed forward to pay respects to the empress. George did not look surprised to see me. As soon as the crowd pushed into the grand dining room, he was at my side.
“We need to talk.” His voice was low and urgent.
“About what, Your Imperial Highness?” I looked straight ahead, at the back of Grand Duchess Alexandra Iosifovna’s large white hair. She was wearing her black feathers again.
He put his hand on my elbow, gently pulling me from the crowd and leading me into a small empty sitting room. “I did not want our last conversation to end the way it did.”
“But you walked away first,” I pointed out.
“I was upset, Katiya,” he said with a sigh. “I did not want to make it worse by saying something we would both regret.”
“I already regret it, Georgi.” I wanted to be in his arms again so badly. “But I can’t change my mind. I won’t give up this chance to find a way to cure you.”
He looked at me incredulously, taking my hands in his. “Even if it means giving up on a normal life for us?”
“How normal would our life be if you are dying? I don’t want to lose you to whatever this wound is. And I can find a cure. I know I can.”
“Katiya, my love, I admire you for your dedication, but don’t you care about my feelings at all?” Looking steadily into my face, his blue eyes flashed silver. Then he frowned. “I see.”
He let go of my hands and stepped back. He’d seen a glimpse of my tangled and distressed thoughts. It did nothing to reassure him.
“You are afraid you might come to resent me if you give up your education. To hell with my father, Katiya. I’ll take you away from Russia myself. Wherever you want to go: Paris, Zurich, even London, if that’s what you want. They’ll probably disown me, and I’m afraid you wouldn’t be a grand duchess.”
“Georgi, how could you propose such a thing?” I wanted to cry. Again. The thought of him being cut off from his family because of me was horrifying. “Absolutely not.”
He shook his head, reading my thought. “I know you’re worried that I’d resent you. That is not going to happen.”
“How can you be so sure?” I whispered.
He brought my hands to his lips. “Trust me, Katiya. We’ll make a new life for just the two of us.”
The dinner bell sounded from down the hall. Another of Grand Duke Sergei’s perfectly regimented details. George sighed. “We’d better go in separately. Why don’t you go first?” He pulled me close and gave me the briefest kiss on my lips.
“We’ll talk again later.”
I walked to the dining room in a daze. I couldn’t let him throw his life away for me. How was I supposed to make him understand that? Or was he just calling my bluff, expecting me to give up my medical training instead? I sat down at my table, fury and frustration rising inside. I wished more than anything that I had the faerie sight and could read George’s thoughts, the way he could read mine.
The delicious food, fussed over so by the Grand Duke Sergei, tasted like sawdust. I was so miserable I could not even enjoy the excellent dove croquette. I avoided looking at George but noticed the empress seated with Ella and Alix. Her eyes kept traveling toward my table. I felt her gaze upon me throughout the dinner.
I ate woodenly, smiling and making polite conversation with the guests on either side of me. I nodded when the elderly countess on my right spoke of the weather, and I smiled when the young officer on my left mentioned the latest ballet. My manners were perfect and imperial. My mother would have been pleased, even if the empress was not.
11
The weeks flew by, and summer turned to autumn. I continued to visit Dr. Badmaev, even though I knew the secret police followed me and reported my movements to the tsar. As long as I was not marrying his son, the tsar did not mind my unorthodox lessons.
I made progress in my studies, and soon the Tibetan doctor allowed me to examine patients in his clinic. He did not let me prescribe medicines, though, but quizzed me on my recommendations after the patient had left. My confidence grew as I learned more and more about diseases and supernatural afflictions. I could tell the difference between the bite of the upyri and that of a wolf. And I knew what would cure either one.
My grand duke left for Moscow on behalf of the Koldun to attend a meeting with the wizards in the Kremlin. He must have decided to visit with his uncle and aunt, because he remained away from St. Petersburg for some time, which suited me perfectly well. It made it easier for me to concentrate on my studies.
On a crisp October day, in the small but opulently appointed family chapel at Betskoi House, I became the godmother of Dr. Ostrev and Lyudmila’s young daughter, Tamara. Papa stood as godfather, paying for the entire service and hosting the christening dinner. Lyudmila’s parents were unable to journey to St. Petersburg from Kiev but sent a silver spoon as a gift for good luck. Anya stood beside me and held the white gown for her young niece. As per Orthodox tradition, the parents were not allowed to be present for the ceremony, so they waited in the red parlor with Maman. I held the squirming infant in my arms as the priest chanted prayers over her head. Her huge blue eyes blinked slowly at me, and I felt a strange tug in my heart. I hadn’t been around babies much in the past few years. Young girls started classes at Smolni as young as six, but there were few at the school who were younger than twelve. My cousins were spread far and wide across Europe, so I hadn’t seen many infants except the empress’s and Miechen’s children.
When it was time to take Tamara’s gown off, the priest beckoned me to bring her forward and place her in the silver baptism font. It was the same antique bowl that both my brother and I had been baptized in years ago. I lowered the naked child into the cold water, and her pink face turned red with a heathen howl. I could see her cold light wrapped around her like a soft, hazy cocoon. Tamara Rudolfovna would have a long, healthy life, it appeared.
The priest blessed her and poured the holy water over her head. I lifted the wriggling, unhappy infant from the water and wrapped her in the clean white linen Anya held out. The white “garments of light” symbolized her new life. The priest’s assistants rang bells and chanted while the priest anointed Tamara’s head with holy oil.
Her howls had subsided, but her body still shook with indignant sobs. The sweet baby awakened a new feeling inside me. It had occurred to me with shock that Lyudmila was younger than I and was already a wife and mother. What kind of mother would I be?
This led to another thought: What kind of father would George be? I blushed and glanced around quickly, relieved to see that no one was paying attention to me. Everyone was watching Tamara.
Anya, standing at my side, now took the baby and dressed her in the Ostrev family’s white hand-embroidered baptismal gown and the white lace cap that Lyudmila had tatted herself. Suddenly, I was conscious of an emptiness in my arms. I wanted to hold the warm, sweet-smelling bundle again.
The ceremony was soon over, and I followed Anya and Papa and the rest of the party out into the parlor, where Lyudmila scooped baby Tamara up in her arms. Maman was drying her eyes with a handkerchief and ran to embrace me. “Oh, my darling, I was just thinking how soon it will be your baby in our family chapel receiving such a blessing!”
I pulled away from her and laughed lightly. “Not for years, Maman.”
“Oh, I do hope Madame Marina’s prediction was wrong. The gypsy woman told me years ago I would never have grandchildren.”
“Maman, either Petya or I will certainly prove Madame Marina wrong.” I squeezed her hands and left her to seek out Dariya, who was now holding the baby and smiling. She looked
happy. I decided to leave her in peace as well and took a steaming cup of tea from the elaborately laid table in the dining room and walked over to the window. The late-afternoon sun was sinking, and the shadows from the houses along Millionaya Street were stretching across the Neva River. I saw people and carriages hurrying across the bridge. A shadowed figure in a long black coat caught my eye as he wandered toward the Summer Garden.
“Katerina … I must speak with you.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the glass, sighing heavily. “What do you want, Danilo?”
“St. Petersburg is not safe for you. You must leave immediately.”
Had the lich tsar finally returned? A cold fear settled in my stomach. If Konstantin was here now, the tsar needed to know. After Alix had warned the Light Court of Danilo’s visit to the ballet, St. Petersburg had been under increased security. But everyone had been holding their breath, waiting for the moment when the lich tsar made his move.
“Meet me in the park.” Danilo’s voice was pleading and insistent.
“No. You must leave, Your Highness.” I would not be safe anywhere near the crown prince. I was no fool. I turned away from the window.
The crown prince’s voice fell silent in my head, and I brought a plate of sweets to Papa, who was standing in the hallway with Tamara’s father. They both looked grave.
“Thank you, dear,” my father said when I handed him the plate. “Dr. Ostrev tells me there has been an increasing number of walking dead seen in St. Petersburg.”
Startled, I looked from Papa to the doctor. “Do the tsar’s men know?”
Dr. Ostrev nodded. “Two more were brought to the hospital last night. Dr. Bokova is certain they were not members of the Order of St. Lazarus.”
I swallowed. This meant these creatures were not under my control. Several times a month, the Koldun had me return to Vorontsov Palace to hold the Talisman of Isis and use it to issue general orders for the creatures. They could only be controlled by me, through the power of the Talisman, which was another reason why the tsar did not relish the idea of my leaving for Zurich. He wanted to keep both his personal necromancer and his personal army of undead soldiers reined in closely.
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