by Ali Parker
“Coffee does sound good,” I said.
***
The alarm went off too damn early the next morning. I had only gotten a few hours of sleep. All the coffee, the anxiety about my last final, and my nagging doubts about Talon had kept me tossing and turning, long after I’d finished reviewing my calculus notes.
Talon and I didn’t talk much as we got ready and drove to school. We were both so exhausted that we were dragging ass. My calculus final was in about an hour, but Talon’s chemistry test wasn’t until near lunchtime.
To his credit, he didn’t say one word of complaint about getting up early and driving me to my final. He said he would use the extra time to study for his own test. And he gave me the keys to his SUV so I could leave after my test was over. As long as I picked him up in the afternoon.
It was a sweet gesture. He was always doing things like that for me, putting his own needs behind mine even though I never asked him to. It was one of the things I loved about him, although there were a million other reasons.
So why was it so hard for me to shake the feeling that something was seriously off between us?
I put that out of my head while I took my calculus test, retreating into the cold, rational world of numbers. The test was difficult, but I felt confident in my work, and I finished with fifteen minutes to spare.
Katie walked out of the test right behind me. “I finished at the same time as you,” she said. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”
“I’m sure you did fine,” I said. “And if not, screw it. It’s over. It’s in Professor Math’s hands now.”
Katie smiled. “This is true. You want to go grab lunch?”
“Absolutely,” I said.
We drove to a nearby diner. The place had a retro look to it, with shiny metal siding outside and red vinyl booths inside. It was like going back in time to the fifties. Katie sat across from me, dipping her fries in her vanilla shake.
“I’ll never understand the appeal,” I said, gesturing at her fry.
“That’s because your mouth is broken,” she said, popping the fry in her mouth.
“Something’s broken,” I muttered.
“What’s that?” Katie asked. “Do you still have your panties in a twist about Talon?”
I made a sour face at her. “My panties are not in a twist, thank you very much. I’m just worried, is all.”
“Did something happen since yesterday?” Katie asked. “Did you find out what his mysterious errand was?”
“No, he wouldn’t tell me. I straight up asked him, and he said it was a secret.”
Katie shrugged. “Then, I guess it’s a secret. He’s allowed to have some secrets from you, even though you’re in a relationship.”
“Is he, though?” I asked. “I mean, we’ve been together for so long, we live together, and do everything together. Shouldn’t our lives be an open book to each other at this point?”
“You think if he’s keeping a secret, it must be something bad, right? Like he’s cheating on you?”
“Ugh, don’t even say that,” I groaned.
“Don’t you think that’s a huge jump? Going from a secret to infidelity?”
I looked down and fidgeted with my napkin on the table. “Well, yeah, but last night when I got home, he was just getting out of the shower. And he never showers at night, unless he just got back from the gym. I mean, that’s a huge red flag when someone is cheating.”
Katie nodded. “Did you smell his dick?”
I burst out laughing. “What?!”
“You heard me,” Katie said, barely suppressing a grin. “Did you smell his dick?”
I shook my head. “You say that like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Why on earth would I smell his dick?”
She shrugged. “So you could tell if he’d been wearing a condom, or you know, if there was any other telltale scents.”
I stared at my friend, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. “First of all, no, that’s fucking gross. And second, you haven’t done that to a guy, have you?”
“Me, personally? No. But I heard it in a song.”
I laughed. “What song was that?”
“Smell Yo Dick, duh,” she said.
“Oh, come on, that’s not a real song,” I said, giggling. “You’re making that up.”
“It’s absolutely a real song,” she said. “It was everywhere a few years back. You must have been living under a rock if you’ve never heard it.”
I shook my head. “I guess so.”
“Check it out,” she said. “It’s catchy. But all dick-smelling aside, I still think you’re getting yourself all worked up over nothing.”
“You think so?” I asked.
“Absolutely. That man loves you, and in the time I’ve known him, he’s never done a single thing that would hurt you. And look, I get that your feelings are what they are, but give him the benefit of the doubt until you have something concrete to justify those feelings. It was just some errands and a shower. Don’t throw away an amazing relationship over that.”
I nodded. “I know you’re right. He’s a good man. I’m the one who is being crazy.”
“Exactly,” Katie said. “And if all else fails, you can always smell that—”
“All right,” I said, laughing. “I get it. Just never say those words to me again.”
Chapter 5
Talon
I stared at the chemistry problem in front of me, but I couldn’t focus on the molecular structure long enough to formulate a guess as to what I was looking at. At the moment, I didn’t know my ass from a covalent bond, and it was all because I was so distracted thinking about Charlotte.
For the last four years, everything between us had been going so well. Then I had to start sneaking around behind her back, and now things were getting tangled up and complicated.
I hated keeping secrets from her, but what was done was done, and there was no going back now. I just had to make it through a few more days, and it would all be over.
None of this would even be a big deal, except Charlotte clearly knew something was up. I was so bad at keeping secrets, and she was not a stupid girl. She cared about me enough to notice when I was acting differently than normal. And I was definitely acting differently.
Why the hell did I decide to keep this a secret in the first place? Because you’re a moron, a voice in my head chimed in happily. I sighed and looked back at my test. The inscrutable problem hadn’t gotten any clearer, only confirming that I was, in fact, a moron.
I skipped the question and moved on to the next one. It wasn’t any easier than the last one, so I powered through it as best as I could. The rest of the test went like that until the TA announced that our time was up.
I dragged my feet as I walked up to the desk to turn in the scribbled mess of a final. I just hoped the professor would give me extra points for making him laugh at how clueless I was, or maybe he’d pass me out of sheer pity.
I checked my watch. It was three o’clock, exactly when I’d asked Charlotte to pick me up. I got to the parking lot, and she was sitting there in my gray SUV, waving at me through the window.
Seeing her face made all the pain of my last final seep out of me, and I smiled at her, feeling a warmth in my heart that only she could make me feel. It had been like that since we first met. I’d never believed in love at first sight, but when I saw Charlotte for the first time, something inside me melted under her brilliant smile.
The part of my heart that kept me from feeling real affection cracked open when she entered my life. I’d always thought I just wasn’t capable of falling in love. I blamed my parents. They’d barely showed their children any warmth, and with each other, they were ice cold. It was a classic case of a couple staying together out of obligation, not love.
I swore to myself I’d never end up in a dead, passionless relationship like them. Fuck that. I’d rather be alone than suffer through a lifetime of that. Being alone was fine, but being with someone in a
relationship and still feeling alone seemed like utter misery.
I’d been with plenty of women, but I’d never really felt anything for them beyond physical attraction. That only lasted for so long, and I got tired of them quickly. But all of that changed once I met Charlotte.
She was my one and only. She was the girl that all those love songs talked about, only I didn’t know they were about her until I met her. Then it was like everything just clicked into place, and the world made sense to me.
And I was putting it all at risk over a stupid decision. I sighed. I was in too deep now. I had to see this through.
I got in the car, and Charlotte smiled at me. “So? How was the chemistry test?”
I slumped down in the seat. “Let’s just say I won’t be winning any Nobel Prizes.”
“And I’d already cleared off a spot on the shelf for it,” she said, grinning.
Her smile brought me back from the brink of despair. “I guess we can put my old baseball trophy there. It’s just as good, right?”
“It’s even better,” she said. “I’d rather date a sexy jock than a science nerd.”
I laughed. “Really? This from a woman who gets excited about numbers and equations?”
She bit her lower lip like she was turned on. “Equations are sexy.”
Even though she was just pretending, seeing her bite her lip like that got my cock stirring in my jeans. It had been a while since we’d been together. We’d fooled around a bit here and there, but we hadn’t really gotten hot and heavy like we usually did.
Charlotte’s sex drive was just as strong as mine, if not stronger. In the bedroom, she went wild. We could spend hours in bed together, tangled up in each other’s limbs and exploring each other’s bodies. I loved seeing the rapturous pleasure on her face when I made her come, and I would give her orgasm after orgasm, until we collapsed against each other, sweaty, exhausted, and throbbing with pleasure.
Fuck, just thinking about it had me worked up, and I knew I had to stifle these urges because I wouldn’t be getting the sweet release I needed anytime soon. I forced myself back to the present, with Charlotte in the car.
“Speaking of equations,” I said, clearing my throat. “I hope your final went better than mine.”
“Judging from your grumpy face, I’m pretty sure it did,” she said. “But you’re forgetting one crucial fact.”
“And what’s that, gorgeous?”
“We’re done!” She leaned over and wrapped me in a tight hug.
I buried my face in her neck, breathing in the sweet scent of her. She smelled like vanilla, and it was like coming home. Not the lifeless house I’d grown up in, but the warm, loving home we’d built together over the last few years. Charlotte was my home now, and I couldn’t imagine living my life without her.
“You’re right,” I said. “There’s no point in worrying about it now.”
She let go of me and looked into my eyes. “Exactly. Now, it’s all Christmas and relaxing for the next few weeks.”
“I like the sound of that. So, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?”
“Well, my parents wanted to go get some last-minute shopping done,” she said. “If that’s all right with you?”
“Of course,” I said. “I’ve got a few things I need to pick up. I’d love to get something for Bob and Gloria, but I have no idea what they like.”
Charlotte laughed. “Yeah, I’ve been trying to figure that out for years. My dad doesn’t have any hobbies. Well, his work is his hobby, making furniture. But I tried buying him tools one time, and he pretended to love them, but it turns out he already had all of them, and way better quality.”
I smiled at her. “So, a sweater for Bob. Got it. And your mom?”
Charlotte’s face scrunched up in thought. “Well, she loves reading trashy romance novels.”
I chuckled. “Um, I can’t buy sexy books for your mom. Or can I?” I waggled my eyebrows suggestively at Charlotte.
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “You better not.”
“So, a sweater for Gloria,” I said. “Well, that was easy.”
“You’re terrible,” she said, putting the car in drive and heading toward her parents’ hotel.
“Come on,” I said. “It’s the thought that counts.”
“At least make sure they’re not the same color. They’ll wear them at the same time, and I don’t want to be walking around with matching parents.”
“Well, now I’m gonna buy them matching sweaters,” I said, laughing. “You shouldn’t have said that.”
We picked up Bob and Gloria and headed over to the nearby mall. The place had every store imaginable, and I was sure I could find something decent for her parents at one of them.
The parking lot was packed, which was no surprise, considering Christmas was only a week away. Charlotte had to drive around for a while to find an open spot. Gloria filled the time by gushing about their trip to the zoo. It sounded like she had the time of her life, but she seemed to be particularly fascinated by the hippos. I made a mental note to look for something hippo-themed for her. I figured it would be a nice way to commemorate their visit.
Bob was still getting a sweater.
Charlotte finally bullied her way into an open spot at the ass-end of nowhere. It was a bit of a walk to the first store, but at least the weather was nice. It was cool out, but not frigid. The air felt good on my skin after being in the warm car for so long.
We got to the store entrance and stopped to make a game plan.
“I think we should split up for a bit,” Charlotte said. “Then we can meet up in a few hours for dinner.”
I nodded. “That works for me.”
I could use the time to look for Charlotte’s gift by myself, but Bob had other ideas. He slung a meaty arm around my shoulder.
“Talon and I will go one way,” he said. “Charlotte, you and your mom go another.”
Gloria looked excited. “Perfect. I could use some girl time with my baby.”
Charlotte nodded happily. “Let’s do it. Don’t get into too much trouble, you two.”
“Don’t worry about us,” Bob said.
Charlotte didn’t look worried, but I was less than thrilled by this turn of events. I had never spent any significant amount of time alone with Bob, and I wasn’t sure how that was going to go.
We split off, and I followed Bob’s lead. When we were by ourselves, he turned to me and gave me a hard look.
“Is everything, okay?” he asked. “Charlotte said you’ve been acting strangely.”
Crap. Fucking Bob was not big on dancing around a topic. When he wanted to say something, he charged right ahead like a bull, subtlety be damned.
“Everything’s fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m just tired from finals and all that. After a few days of relaxing, I’ll be right as rain.”
“Don’t bullshit me, son. Charlotte is the most important thing in the world to me, and I will literally—not figuratively, but literally—murder anyone who hurts her.”
The smile evaporated from my face, and I let out a long breath. “Fine,” I said, looking Bob square in the eye. “No bullshit, Bob. You and I need to have a serious talk.”
Chapter 6
Charlotte
My mom had a dreamy expression on her face as she stared at all the Christmas decorations in the mall. A seemingly infinite amount of lights had been strung along every surface, giving the world a fairytale glow. Everything seemed a little more magical when covered in Christmas lights.
A pair of huge, twenty-foot tall nutcrackers were in the center of the first floor. They smiled at the crowds with their painted-on grins, and their cheeks were red with Christmas cheer. But what really mesmerized my mother was the giant-sized ornaments hanging from the ceiling.
There had to be thousands of Christmas balls of every size and color hanging down from the second floor. They were grouped up in a loose square shape, but there were so many of them it was overwhelming.<
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We both stared up in amazement at the display. I would have felt silly gawking like that, but we weren’t the only people with their necks craned back and their mouths agape.
“It’s absolutely beautiful,” my mom said.
