“I’ve left the state, he finds me,” I answer, tired of this conversation already.
“What about friends he doesn’t know you talk to? Is there somewhere you can go that he’d never suspect you would pick? A way for you to get lost?”
My mind immediately goes to the only two friends I really have in the world, Ray and Nicole. I don’t want to get them involved. I couldn’t live with getting them hurt…or worse. I just couldn’t…Could I?
“He wouldn’t stop hunting me down…”
“Unless he thought you were dead.”
I look up at this stranger’s words. They give me hope. It’s a strange feeling…an odd feeling.
“How? He would never believe it.”
“Make him think you died trying to get away from him.”
My mind goes over his words. Ray would be able to help. He was bragging just last month about dating a hacker. He could help me…Can I do this? Can I risk my friends and put them in danger to do this? Would they be in danger if we succeed in making Michael think I am dead?
My palms are sweaty, my heart rate is crazy and I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff. The orderly hands me his cell phone. Briefly, I worry he is setting me up. Then I stare at the phone like it might bite me. I have two choices. I can stay here and die—let Michael kill me. Or, I can call Ray and get his and Nic’s help. I hesitate and can feel fear crawl all around me—surrounding me. I can’t let it win…not this time.
I wrap my hands around the phone, dial Ray’s number and pray I’m doing the right thing.
Chapter 1
Dani
Arrival in London, Kentucky
I’ve not had much happiness in my life, but the last year I have managed it. Living with Nicole and Ray was the best thing to ever happen to me. They helped me rebuild my life. Ray helped me burn down the house Michael made my prison. Then, with his help and that of the orderly, we got a Jane Doe from the hospital morgue. We made it appear I had been released from the hospital, came home against doctor’s orders, only to perish in a fire. They did it all, I couldn’t help. I was in such bad shape, I couldn’t even walk. I had to finish my recovery in Ray’s tiny apartment while his boyfriend fixed up my new identity. With a camera, some major league hacking and forged documents, Dani Smith was born.
I’m not sure who Dani is just yet. I’m still trying to live up to the image I have of her in my head, but I know she’s loud, outrageous, and unafraid. She will never bow down to a man. She will never let anyone control her life. She will embrace being a woman, but be the strongest one that ever walked and the only thing Dani and Melinda will ever have in common is their love of Ray and Nic. Regardless of my name, I will always put those two first in everything.
That’s the plan, and I live up to it mostly. There are days I forget. Days when parts of Melinda and the fear that helped to destroy her creeps in and I have to fight and push it back. Today is not one of those days. Today I’m driving down the road with my girl Nic, in her Mercedes convertible, the wind in my hair, and feeling like I’m taking another step into Dani…at least the Dani I want to be.
I hold my hands up letting the wind flow through my hair and yell out.
“Whoooooooo….”
It’s a fake sound to my ears, but as I look to the side, I notice that Nicole is smiling. So my mission is achieved. If she honestly knew how I felt right now, it would hurt her. I’m excited to be moving with her, but I wish it was out West. I tried to talk her into it, I figure the more mileage between me and Michael the better. Nicole insisted we didn’t have the money to do that. I suggested we use his money. She said no, that I might need it in the future. She didn’t say it, but I knew what she meant. She thought he might find me someday and we would have to run. Just the thought of that causes me to get dizzy, making black spots fill my vision and I want to pass out. Panic attacks…I fucking hate them! They kick in without warning and they get such a strong hold on me, it’s hard to breathe.
I look down and see my hands shake. Shit. I can’t do this right now. I fight to keep Nic and Ray clueless to the things I deal with. They’ve done enough and seriously, I don’t want their pity. I can’t handle that.
“Hey, I’m thirsty!” I call out to Nic. I’m not. We’re only about fifteen or twenty minutes from the house we’ve rented. Yet, if I don’t get a drink and one of my pills, this panic attack will go from zero to sixty and I’m going to let all my crazy hang out. I can’t do that. I can’t…I won’t.
We’re just thirty minutes away!” She yells back, and you can tell she’s not excited about stopping.
“Big damn deal, let’s get some drinks and chocolate, girl!” I yell back, the music is annoying me and grating on my nerves. Panic attacks and loud noises do not mix, but this song, this speaker thumping sounds like something Dani would want.
Nic flips on her turn signal to get over and takes the upcoming exit.
I wrap a band in my hair, attaching a messy bun at the back of my neck. I need to keep my hands busy and hide the shaking.
“Whatcha’ want, bitch?” I ask, yelling over the music. Ludacris is blasting through the speakers. There’s this pain behind my eyes and the blinding black spots are still floating in my vision. I need to get out of here quick. There are people everywhere and it feels like all of their eyes are on me. Goosebumps skitter across my skin and a blast of cold…stark cold fear, chills me to the bone.
“Pepsi, fountain if they have it,” she says back, her attention landing on a bunch of bikers to the side of the parking lot. I nod and try not to run into the gas station. I manage, barely. It is definitely a fast pace, with my head down. I’m counting backwards from a hundred in my head, trying to stave off the attack. My eyes are glued to my feet as I say a number in my mind with each footstep, making them smooth and rhythmic to try and slow my thoughts and heart rate down. I really should have looked up, because I run into a solid steel wall—of muscle.
I look up to see the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on in my life. Skin tanned and warmed lovingly by the sun, beautiful dark hair scattered in different directions with the wind, a leather biker cut over his chest with a black, sleeveless tank under that and tattoos, lots of tattoos. Praise Jesus, this man has gorgeous ink and he looks like a piece of art. In another life, this man would have made Melinda pray he noticed her. Would he notice Melinda? In her retro-styled dresses and perfectly pulled back pony tail and looking like she belonged on the set of ‘Leave It to Beaver’?
Somehow I doubt it. This guy is a charmer, I can just tell by the look in his eyes. He’s probably been in more pants than he will ever remember. He likes Dani. I’m wearing my cut-to-your-ass jean shorts. They look worn and frayed, but I just bought them last week. I have on a hot pink tank that reads, ‘Smooth As Tennessee Whiskey’, Jimmy Choo stiletto heels that are too fucking tight and silver bangles on one arm that jingle when I walk. My hair is a mess despite pulling it back and my face has no makeup on, save for Dani’s signature red lipstick. Yeah, he likes what he sees. My heart kicks up yet again, whether it’s because the panic attack is getting closer to the point of no return, or the way the man in front of me makes my body tingle—I’m not sure. I shouldn’t like the way he is looking at me, I shouldn’t take pride in it. I find I do, and that’s just weird. What would the biker think if he knew I’d rather be home wearing a sweater and sweat pants? What would he think if I did what I really wanted to do with these fuck-me shoes and throw them in the garbage?
He puts his hand on my shoulders to steady me, which wasn’t needed. I might be tall, and these shoes might be dangerous and very conducive to falling, but I’m not going to. Shit, I dance in shoes higher than this. The only thing surprising me at this moment is how tall the man is. He’s taller than me—even in my heels.
His touch sends heat through me and immediately my body coils in fear. I stiffen my back to hide that reaction and do what I trained myself to do when I created Dani, show no fear and be a badass.
“You going to let me go s
o I can get in the store stud, or stand there and eye-fuck me all day?” I ask, full of attitude. I want to cringe, but I ignore the impulse, Dani wouldn’t give a fuck and this is who I am now. So I disregard everything, including the sweat trickling down my back and the wave of nausea in my stomach.
“Sorry, Darlin’, didn’t mean to mow you down,” he says and that country boy accent and good ole’ southern boy charm oozes off of him.
I like it. I like it too much. I shake my head, more at myself than at Biker-Cowboy. Then, I move around him. He lets me go and I’m through the door and scanning for the restroom area when his voice stops me again.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
For a minute I don’t turn around, instead I close my eyes and try to still the thoughts spinning in my head. I’ve got to get away. I look over my shoulder, but even as I do, I’m aware that part of my mask has slipped. I’m too close to the edge.
“Today, I’m not even sure,” I reply, hating how sad my answer comes out. I push through the store, ignoring the small crowd of people and hunt out the restroom.
Thankfully it’s one of those single restrooms and completely empty. I lock the door and lean against it for a minute. I need to catch my breath. I count quietly and get to fifty before my pulse begins to slow. I reach in the pocket of my jeans and pull out a small pill case. I cup water out of the sink, using it to wash down the pill.
I’m not sure how long I’m in there, but it’s nowhere near as long as I want it to be. I force myself to come out of hiding and get the items that Nicole asked for. When I make it back outside, Nic is talking to one of the bikers. He is definitely delicious eye candy, and very busy looking at my girl. He’s staring at her like she’s an all-night taco bar and he’s the stoner who smoked blunt after blunt and has a serious case of the munchies. Normally, I’d be all for Nic letting her hair down, but this guy screams danger—even more so because he’s starting to look like he’s going to strip and bang her right here in broad daylight against the gas pumps. Time for Dani to move in, divert, make them laugh and get us the hell out of dodge.
“Damn, Nic! When I said I wanted chocolate, you didn’t have to go all out, bitch.” I say it loud and my body instantly wants to crawl away and hide as eyes shift to me. I hate it, but I stay the course. “Hello there, Tall Dark and Do-me-all-over.” The biker pulls his eyes briefly away from Nic and looks me over, but I see the lack of heat when he looks at me. He really is wound up over my girl. I like that. If he didn’t have this look that said, I-kill-people-eat-them-for-dinner-and-spit-out-their-bones, I’d even encourage Nic. Trouble is, he has that look.
“Dani meet Stud, Stud meet Dani. I popped his cherry while you were in the store,” Nic says walking around to the driver’s side of the car.
The guy I should no longer be thinking about and his crew have been watching it all and laugh loudly. I look over towards them and he isn’t joining in the laughter. He is watching me…closely. For a brief space in time, our eyes lock. Everyone and everything fades away. I could get lost in the way he’s looking at me even from across a damned parking lot. This cannot happen. I laugh, open the car door, trying to be careful not to hit Nic’s boy toy and get in. He closes my door, but his eyes are zeroed in on Nic. Shit, I can almost feel the heat coming off of him, he is seriously in lust over Nic. I spare a glance at her. As usual, Nic doesn’t see it—she’s oblivious. Her parents have worked her over so much she doesn’t think any man would want her.
The man and Nicole banter back and forth as he leans on my car door. I don’t pay any attention. In my head, I’m still counting backwards. I try to concentrate on the sunshine, the color of my fingernail polish, anything but the panic I can still feel inside. It’s better and subsiding. Still, I wish we could just get out of here.
I feel sparks of awareness flash over my body and look across the parking lot. Cowboy-biker now has his shades on, so I can’t really see if his eyes are still on me, but he’s staring straight at me and my mouth goes dry. I am at war with myself. I want his attention, but at the same time I don’t. He screams danger. He chooses that moment to smile. It’s a good smile. It’s a sexy smile. I hate it. I shake it off and turn back to Nicole.
I’ve apparently missed their whole conversation because by the time I snap out of the trance the cowboy put me in, the other guy is tapping the hood and walking away.
“Be seeing you soon,” he calls, but Nic drowns him out by cranking our music back up.
The music tenses me up again. I can’t handle it right now…I need to give the pills more time to work their magic. I have it down to a science—relaxation in t-minus ten minutes.
“Who the hell was that?” I ask Nic when we get on the road, turning the music back down.
“I have no idea. Thought he was sexy, but he seemed to be getting his jollies off messing with me while his buddies laughed.”
I don’t say anything, because I didn’t see it that way at all, but she’d be better off if she stayed away from him.
Chapter 2
Crusher
It’s been a hell of a day. There are no other words for it. We’ve been traveling non-stop back from Alabama, after checking on a shipment that was fucked up. We hadn’t got control over it when it was stolen, but the fact that it was reported and intercepted at all, reflects badly on our club. It is unacceptable and Dragon is fit to be tied. I don’t blame him. Hell, as his VP, a lot of the blame is on my shoulders as well. I’m pretty fucking sure we have a narc somewhere in our group, whether from a hanger-on, prospect, or fuck, even a member, I don’t know. Something is going to have to be done and done soon though. That much is clear. The only bright spot of my day so far, is seeing that fuck-me brunette with killer legs, a flawless face, and dark haunted eyes that call to me. I can tell they are haunted and they remind me of a girl from long ago…a girl I can’t ever let go of. All of that combined with those damn shoes she had on, makes me want to slam her against a wall, and fuck her hard enough that I can feel those damn heels dig into my ass with every thrust.
She has a body made for sin and I have the raging cock stand to prove it. Fuck. It’s been a good ten minutes since she shot my ass down, and I’m still hard. I tried to watch as Dragon hit on the brunette’s friend and it was probably an enjoyable show, but I couldn’t tell you. I was too busy looking at the hot little piece of ass who’s making my dick ache.
Apparently the blonde had the same effect on my brother, because instead of heading straight home to the club, we’re following the two women to a house the club rents. We pull in the driveway behind them. Shit! The place looks bad. Irish is in charge of renting it and having it looked after. Apparently, he dropped the ball. I can tell by the look on Dragon’s face he’s not happy. It’s probably a good thing Irish is working at the club and didn’t go with us to Alabama. There’s enough tension between those two lately.
“Nice place, Twinkie,” I hear Dragon say and watch as he climbs off his bike and makes his way to the women. I follow suit a little behind him. I notice Gunner and Freak do the same.
My attention goes to the brunette, who doesn’t bother to hide her laughter at the way my brother and her girl are going at it. She’s got on designer sunglasses and her nails are perfectly done. She’s high maintenance and probably a bitch. She’s everything I should stay away from, but I keep remembering her words to me at the gas station when I asked her name. Today, I’m not even sure. In that moment she looked so haunted…so sad. She reminded me of Melly and it hurt. It hurt like a motherfucker. I drag my attention away from the babe’s lips and listen to the blonde yell when Dragon picks her up.
“Wait! What on earth are you doing?”
“Mama, those things on your feet are cute as hell, but they aren’t going to protect you from snakes.”
It’s an enjoyable exchange until I hear other laughter, deeper laughter. The brunette’s voice is deeper and huskier. It reminds me of an old country song and an aged glass of bourbon. Something that burns
going down, but settles in your gut and warms you. I watch as she climbs on Freak’s back and he hauls her to the porch of the rental.
I don’t get jealous. Fuck, I have never been jealous a day in my life. Yet, in that moment, when I see Freak’s tattooed fingers wrap around the brunette’s tanned, silky-smooth, legs, I feel it. I feel it deep and I want to deck my brother for touching her. I shake my head because that is stupid. I don’t know the bitch and she sure didn’t warm up to me like she seems to have with Freak. I need to forget her. Maybe Dragon will strike out with the blonde and I can bury myself in her. Fire…I need someone with fire. I stomp back to my bike, mad at the little brunette with the fucking sexy legs. I have a feeling her fire might burn me for a long damn time.
*
Back at the club, I’m on edge. I had a shower and grabbed some chow, but I have this restless energy. The memories of Mel are threatening to come out to play and I can’t handle that shit. I enter the main room looking for two things, a bottle and pussy. Maybe I can get drunk and fuck myself into oblivion.
The Twinkies are out playing, but none of them grab a hold of my cock like the brunette did. Junior just lays there. I see Dragon at the bar and decide to join him instead. I know what’s on his mind, so I decide to add a little fuel to the fire. I’m a bastard most days, what can I say?
“She’s a hot little piece,” I say as a prospect puts a glass down in front of me and I grab Dragon’s bottle and pour myself a drink.
He doesn’t respond, unless you count grunting at me.
“You gonna push it?”
“Fuck if I know.” Dragon answers, and it’s almost enough to make me stop. He’s apparently more than mildly interested in the blonde. I should back away and let it go, because honestly my interest is not there. Then I look around the club and realize it’s not there for the free pussy either. Fire. I need fire—something to keep the memories at bay. I don’t know why the memories are so bad lately, but I need them to stop.
Claiming Crusher: Savage Brothers MC Page 3
