The tops of his fingers brushed satiny material, and he drew his hand farther up her body to cup her breast. He circled it with his palm, testing it against his memory of her from years ago.
“You’ve grown.”
She chuckled, her head tucked into his neck. “I’ve gained weight.”
“Only in the right places.” His hand over her fullness, he made a circle with his fingers and thumb, then pulled her breast, bra and all, through it.
Cori groaned and gave his ear a little nip of approval.
“We’ve got to get upstairs.” He hitched her up higher and navigated the steps, then the dimly lit side yard to the kitchen door, never wanting to let her go. Never wanting her to stop touching him.
She lightly brushed her fingertips over his scalp while she sucked at his neck.
“Hey, no love bites where they can be seen,” he halfheartedly protested.
She laughed, pressing a light kiss to the spot.
Blake hopped up the back steps, then stopped, gazing into her eyes. “Last chance to back out.”
“Not on your life, Austin.”
He kissed her because he loved her, because she’d come back to him. Although he couldn’t say it yet. Don’t break my heart. Damn, he kissed her harder and told his internal security system to take the night off.
He set her down. “No funny business until we get upstairs. Quietly.”
She was already leaning over to take off her shoes. “I know the drill.”
“Interesting analogy.” He watched the tantalizing curves outlined by her movements. “Are you on the pill?”
She straightened as if she’d been struck by lightning. “No.”
“No?” he echoed stupidly. “No diaphragm?” Potent Sperm and Fertile Myrtle II. It sounded like a bad movie.
“No.” She sagged against the wall. The energy drained out of her.
He commiserated. He wouldn’t mind having more kids with Cori. He just wanted to lay the foundation of their relationship first.
“You could use double coverage,” she offered brightly.
The thought wasn’t immensely pleasing for Blake.
“We could do other things,” he countered, sincerely hoping he’d be able to stop at those other things.
She looked despondent, which helped his ego immensely. “If you’re sure.”
He leaned down to buss her quickly. “There’ll be time later.” Meaning the rest of their lives, but he wasn’t about to scare her off like he had the last time.
IT SEEMED TO TAKE FOREVER to sneak up the stairs past Jennifer’s room and into Blake’s bedroom. Cori’s hand was nestled within his the whole way. She hadn’t been this sure about anything in a long time, nearly five years. With only one sexual experience to draw from and the ten extra pounds she knew made her look different without her clothes on, she’d agreed to come upstairs for some intense foreplay. If it had been anyone else but Blake, she would have given in to her insecurities and run home. But this was Blake, and in her heart, he meant home.
He turned on some music while she walked over to the window. The pane was open and the breeze made the cream-colored sheer curtains dance on either side of her as she looked out. The brisk air prickled her skin. She couldn’t wait for Blake to warm her up.
“I can see the river from here.” More specifically, she could see their stretch of the river. That explained how Blake usually found her there all those years ago. With a low carpet of fog, on a moonlit night like tonight, Blake had a breathtaking view of the valley in which Messina Vineyards was nestled. Moon-glow lit the bedroom softer than any candle.
“I’ve been wondering what kind of underthings you’re wearing.”
She turned to him with a seductive smile. “Really? What did you guess?”
“Black.”
Cori shook her head. “Not very imaginative.”
He looked hurt. To lighten the mood, she slid her hands beneath her sweatshirt, palms out, and waved them around in front of her chest. “It’s purple today. Do you like purple?” She hoped so.
Blake nodded. Smiled.
“I can’t believe I waited this long for you,” she said, laughing self-consciously as her hands dropped to her sides. “I’m a little nervous.”
“Me, too.” His eyes seemed to devour her, but more than five feet still separated them and the air from the window definitely had her chilled now.
Cori shook her head in disbelief. “Men are never nervous.”
“That’s not true. Men worry about the same things women do. Can I please her? Will she laugh when she sees me naked?”
“You don’t.” Cori grinned, grateful that he was taking the time to put her at ease.
“We do. Want me to tell you what I’m thinking right now?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
His eyes roamed her fully clothed body. “I’m remembering how soft your skin felt beneath my hands. How you sounded when I touched you. How right it felt when you were in my arms.”
Wow. “That’s really…really…” Cori struggled for a word to describe how he made her feel and came up with several. “Sweet. Poetic. Hot.” She’d do anything for this man she loved.
“Yeah, well. What can I say?” He closed the distance between them. “You inspire me.”
For the next few hours, they inspired each other.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“I’D BETTER GET BACK.” Cori sat up in bed, pulling the sheet up to cover her breasts.
Blake hadn’t expected their interlude to last this long or to end this quickly. They’d just shared what seemed like a marathon experience of pleasuring each other. Gazing up at her with his head resting on his hands, he clenched his fingers so he wouldn’t reach for her again. “I’ll walk you back.”
She leaned over and touched her lips to his. “I’d like that.”
A few minutes later, they stepped out onto the back porch and into the brisk night. Cori moved next to Blake and lifted his arm around her shoulders with a smile, keeping her hand clasped around his. They started walking at a leisurely pace. Blake drew her closer, reveling in the warmth and intimacy, something he didn’t dare call the bond of love, because that would mean he and Cori had solved all their problems.
“I don’t want this night to end.” Blake leaned to press a kiss to her crown.
Cori squeezed his hand. “I know. Tonight was magic.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t call it magic. Magic implies it was all an illusion. Which would mean the past couple of hours only existed in our minds.” He caught her smiling. “Then I’d never experience that thing you do with your lips again.”
Cori laughed softly. “That was real, and, despite what you say, magic at the same time. What comes next won’t be as easy or pleasant.”
The hairs on the back of Blake’s neck prickled. “What do you mean?”
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” She paused, perhaps waiting for him to answer. Since it wasn’t obvious to Blake, he kept his mouth shut, wishing she’d trust him enough—no, love him enough—to speak plainly. “When my grandfather finds out, he’s going to make sure he can control you,” she finally told him when he didn’t comment.
“Control me? He already bosses me around.” That was the least of Blake’s concerns. Fire him, take away his home. Those worries were more pressing.
“You don’t understand.” Cori’s hand released his. The same hand that had loved him so intimately such a short time ago. “He’ll push you harder, expect more, and if you don’t live up to his standards, he’ll get rid of you.”
“Why would that matter if we’re together? Cori, that’s ridiculous.”
“As ridiculous as him paying off my father to get him to marry my mother, and then later to get him to leave? My mother says they were in love, too.”
Blake shook his head. “He didn’t. He wouldn’t.”
Cori marched along the road in silence. Finally, instead of arguing, she asked, “Are you willing to swallow your pride for this job? To stick
it out?”
“It won’t come to that.” Blake couldn’t believe Mr. Messina would do that to him. Fire him, yes. Make him a monetary offer to leave, no.
She turned to face him, wrapping her arms around her chest. Her chin jutted out. A solitary tear tracked across her cheek.
In two steps, he enfolded her in his embrace. “Oh, baby, don’t cry.”
She pushed her small hands against his chest, dropping her head back so she could see his face. “I need you to be sure. I love you.”
Sure of what? His love for her? That was unquestionable. But did she love him enough to make this work? If he doubted anything, it was her commitment and ability to stay.
Her eyes searched his, found the doubt. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and dropped her head so that he could no longer see her expression.
“Don’t…don’t tell him, then.” This time when she pushed, she freed herself. Cori walked quickly away from him.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t sure.” How did her short legs manage to keep ahead of him?
“You didn’t have to say anything.”
“Cori, this is crazy. You’re overdramatizing. If you don’t want me, if this is some game of yours, there are easier ways to discourage me than this.”
She spun around and slapped him. Blake’s cheek prickled like frostbitten skin. Cori stood trembling before him, flexing her hand as if it hurt, as well.
“If you can’t see I’m trying to protect you, then you can’t see. If you want to stay in Sonoma, I have to be a part of Messina Vineyards again. I don’t want you to hate me when he makes it hard for you.”
She pivoted and headed for the house again. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
Couldn’t she tell? Blake’s heart held together by sheer force of will. “I want us to have a life together. To raise our son together.”
Blake reached out and desperately turned her to face him. They were on the other side of the swimming pool now, within shouting distance of the mansion. He could feel her slipping through his fingers, his dreams of family drifting away with the mists of the night.
“Maybe I’m confused. Maybe I’ll keep playing catch-up until you tell me exactly what’s going on.” Blake lowered his voice. “You must know how I feel about you.”
“Do I?” She shut her eyes and took a breath, then snapped her gaze back on him. “I get that you don’t trust me, but you’ve always jumped to the wrong conclusions, and you certainly never said a word about love.” Her voice faltered.
“Maybe I’m not as free with my words as you are, but I’m trying. Remember, I’m the one who keeps getting lied to and still comes back.” He’d told her he’d forgiven her, hadn’t he? How much more did she want from him? Didn’t what they had just shared count for anything?
“If that’s the best you can do, I don’t know if I want you to keep trying.” Tears filled her eyes and her lower lip trembled.
God, he’d really screwed up. He was back where he’d started hours ago, days ago, years ago.
She released a shuddering breath. “I won’t stand in your way if you want to see Michael, but you can’t tell him you’re his father. Not yet.”
“Thanks,” Blake mumbled, grateful that he’d made some kind of progress, despite the fact that his heart had been tossed away yet again. She’d been right. It had been magic between them—an illusion that couldn’t last.
“WHY DON’T YOU GO ON to bed.” Cori gently shook Luke awake where he slept on the couch. “I’ll stay with Mama tonight.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Luke stood, stretching his lean body to the ceiling before stumbling out to the hall.
Cori sank into the chair next to her mother and waited until she heard Luke’s bedroom door close. In the soft light from the hallway, Cori could see Mama’s chest rise and fall weakly. She pulled the chair closer to her mother’s bed. Mama slept peacefully, not that it would have mattered. Awake, only Mama’s eyes gave away the secret that she still lived.
“I made a terrible mistake, Mama.” She smoothed her hand over the satin bedspread. “I thought he loved me. I thought if I explained, he’d understand.”
Leaning both elbows on her mother’s bed and clasping her hands as if in prayer, Cori examined Mama’s face. “I really wish you could hear me because I need your advice. My pride says this has all been a bad case of lust and I need to move on.”
Cori conked her head lightly with her knuckles, her cheeks heating at the memory of how she’d exposed herself to Blake earlier. Physically and emotionally. “My heart, on the other hand, can’t seem to let go. Pretty sad, huh?”
Her mother’s face remained blank. Cori sat up straighter, shamed by the thought that she was being a whiny, self-centered daughter. Her mother was dying and all Cori could think about was her broken heart?
“Did I tell you I talked to John Sinclair? I can see why you fell in love with him, he’s quite a charmer.” Cori choked on the lie. Thoughts of her conversation with her father gave her the willies. Still, Cori couldn’t bring herself to tell her mother her ex-husband wasn’t coming.
“I miss you, Mama.” Cori settled her head on her arms and closed her eyes against the tears.
HE’D LOST HER.
Blake sprawled on the living room couch and stared at the cracks in the ceiling while he waited for the coming dawn. No point in sleeping now, with sunrise just a few hours away. He may as well use the time to decide how to straighten out the mess he’d made of his life.
It sure beat remembering the lovemaking they’d shared.
The Messinas took misdirection to an art form, which made Cori’s declaration of love that much more painful. Had it been a rare statement of truth? He didn’t want to believe anything else. Yet, it was hard to believe. If she loved him, why had she left him years ago? How could her need for independence have overruled her love for him? And later, the welfare of their child?
Blake had to face facts. He was insecure when it came to Cori. Every time he started to open up to her, she broke his trust, shattered his heart by putting herself first. But love wasn’t something you questioned. If he wanted Cori and Michael permanently in his life, he had to trust her and try to understand her fears about Mr. Messina, even if he didn’t put as much credence in them as she did. Her fears were affecting their lives.
He had to try harder to be Mr. Sensitive. She’d slapped the hell out of him when he’d accused her of being paranoid. He rubbed his cheek, still feeling the sting of her blow. Gophers had more brains than he did. At least they knew when to duck for cover.
CORI AWOKE TO FOOTSTEPS and the smell of fresh flowers. Maria carried a large bouquet over to the window with stiff steps. Cori lifted her heavy head, only to have Mama’s hand slide off her crown. That was impossible. Mama hadn’t moved on her own since she’d woken up in the hospital.
“Mama?” Was she conscious? How else could her hand have gotten on Cori’s head?
But Mama lay inert and unresponsive. Cori ran her fingers through her hair as if to tease out answers. Maybe Cori had held her mother’s hand close during the night and somehow managed to position it over her head. Cori didn’t remember. With a sigh, Cori chose to think Mama had comforted her, no matter how unlikely that was.
“Maria, you shouldn’t have brought those upstairs. I would have carried them for you,” Cori said.
“I wanted to bring Mrs. Sinclair something to cheer her up.” Maria brought the card over to Cori, blinking back tears. “Michael is downstairs having breakfast with Blake and Jennifer.”
“Oh.” Cori self-consciously pushed her hair out of her face. She needed more time before facing Blake again, possibly another four to five years. “Can you sit with Mama while I take a shower?”
“Certainly. I’ll get the flowers water.” Maria trundled slowly into the bathroom.
“Thank you.” Cori looked at the small sealed envelope. It was addressed to Sophia Sinclair. Maybe her grandfather had sent the flowers. Cori opened the card and
read in wonder, her eyes glistening by the time she realized who the flowers were from.
“Mama, listen to this.” Cori took her mother’s hand. “‘My dearest Sophia, how did we two thorny weeds manage to produce two such beautiful roses? All is forgiven. Forever yours, John.’”
Her father wasn’t totally heartless. When Cori looked up, Sophia’s eyes were open but she didn’t look as if the news from John Sinclair had even registered.
“He still loves you, Mama. He sent this beautiful card and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, see?” She pointed toward the window. For a moment, Cori thought she caught Sophia’s eyes drifting to the window. But then Sophia’s eyelids closed.
Cori patted Mama’s hand. “He loves you.” With a sigh, Cori went to take a quick shower, comforted to discover her father wasn’t totally abhorrent, after all.
“HOW ABOUT SOME CEREAL or toast?” Blake asked Michael, standing like Vanna White at the Messinas’ pantry, trying to entice the boy to eat something. Anything. Blake’s eyes kept drifting to the sliding pocket door leading to the back stairs. Cori had yet to make an appearance this morning. He couldn’t wait to see her so that he could try to repair last night’s damage.
Sideways in the kitchen chair, Michael sat with his back to Blake. “I like pancakes. With chocolate.”
“Saturday and Sunday are pancake days. Jen’s got school this morning.”
“Yeah, I’m going to miss the bus if you don’t hurry. Blake’s driving me out to the highway bus stop in, like, two minutes.” Jen supported Blake with a grin. She’d been uncharacteristically helpful the past few days. “Want to ride along?”
“Okay.” Michael gave her his full-wattage smile. He doted on Jen. Blake wished he could say his son felt the same about him. They were still two dogs fighting over the same bone. Blake found his gaze on the stairway door once more. So far, Michael wasn’t sharing his mom with anyone.
“Great, you can ride back with Blake.” Jen’s tone sounded forced and too chipper.
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