by Karen Kirst
“Not this time.”
He caught her kneading her lower back and immediately replaced his paintbrush in the jar. Tucking his gourd against his side, painted face directed outward to avoid staining his suit vest, he extended his arm to her.
“Let’s go find some shade, shall we?”
“Good idea.”
“Are you feeling well? You’re not too hot?”
She smiled over at him. “I’m fine. My feet are a bit tired, however. I’d enjoy a rest.”
“Once I get you settled, I’ll fetch you some lemonade.”
“You don’t have to dance attendance on me, Alexander. I am and always will be just your cook.” The truth was a painful but necessary reminder. “One you didn’t even hire yourself.”
He was contemplative as they passed other festival-goers. Entering a sparse smattering of trees on the edge of the full-fledged forest where cut logs had been situated in a circular pattern, he led her to the nearest one. The area was empty, so she had her pick. He rested Gordy the gourd on the ground near her feet, propped by the log.
The air was cooler here in the shade and rich with the scents of moss and decomposing leaves. The kaleidoscope of vibrant green, orange, yellow and crimson was as lovely as a painting. She could remain here indefinitely in Alexander’s company.
“Will you watch over Gordy until I return?”
“I won’t let him out of my sight,” she said.
Her soft chuckle was cut off when she felt a swift, hard kick on her left side. At her soft inhale, Alexander sank onto the log beside her, lines bracketing his mouth.
“What’s the matter?”
She shook her head in wonder, pressing gently against the spot in hopes of a repeat. “The baby’s kicking.” Without thinking, she snatched his hand and guided it beneath her own.
His face hovered near hers, wonder brightening his eyes. They remained very still, the intimacy of the moment wrapping them in a cocoon of unreality. The booths and distant crowds faded from consciousness. Then, just when Ellie thought the chance was lost, there came another firm kick.
Alexander’s growing smile was like the sun emerging from behind a cloud, bathing her in radiant light that warmed her skin and lifted her spirits.
“You’re going to make a wonderful mother, Ellie.”
Her eyes grew moist. The deep-seated yearning to meet her child was tempered by uncertainty. Would she be able to provide for her? Would she be successful in copying the model of love and nurturing her own mother and grandmother had patterned for her? And then there was the gnawing truth that, once the baby arrived, Alexander would likely retreat. He’d be there for her if the Jamesons caused trouble, but she sensed he wouldn’t be as eager to spend time with her and the baby, a reminder of his tremendous loss.
“I pray you’re right,” she breathed, caught in the approval shining upon her.
He was so close. He smelled divine. And his large hand was still pressed against her belly.
With his other hand, he slowly smoothed her hair off her forehead, sweeping it to the side and out of her eyes. Sparks of electricity raced along her scalp and behind her ears.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” His voice was low and smooth like honey, a timbre she hadn’t heard before.
“I don’t feel beautiful. I feel ungainly.”
“Pregnancy suits you, Ellie.”
She gave in to the need to touch him. She caressed his face, starting at his temple and over his cheekbone and down along the hard line of his jaw, clean-shaven today. His eyelids slid closed on a sigh.
Ellie’s fingertips played over his chin and, in a surge of boldness, drifted over his sculpted mouth.
His eyes popped open.
“I overstepped the bounds,” she started.
He closed the distance between them, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her with an exquisite tenderness she’d never before experienced. A feeling of rightness flooded her. He was a man she admired. A man she felt utterly safe with.
When he lifted his head, his gaze soaked her in, longing fighting with regret. “Now it is I who’s overstepped the bounds.”
Withdrawing, he stood to his feet and looked down at her with hooded eyes.
She lifted her chin. “I’m not sorry you did. I enjoy being close to you.”
His head reared back. “Ellie—”
“I’m being honest. I trust you, Alexander. I feel comfortable with you, like I can do anything and you won’t judge me. But I know we can’t let that happen again. It’s unfortunate, since we’re engaged.” She somehow managed a lighthearted tone. “But it’s the way it has to be.”
He looked at once relieved and distressed. She stuck out her hand.
“Help me up?”
His strong grip closed over hers, and he assisted her to her feet, instantly releasing her and locking his hands behind his back.
“I’m suddenly ravenous,” she announced, forcing her gaze to connect with his. “Let’s find another unhealthy snack before I call it a day.”
He hesitated, seeming torn. “All right.”
For the remaining hour she was in his company, Ellie played her part of happy fiancée to the hilt. Not for the people of Gatlinburg, but for Alexander. She’d proven she had the grit to withstand tough situations. She could wait until she reached the privacy of her room to let the weight of her disappointment crash over her.
Chapter Fifteen
“Ellie! What a nice surprise.” Mrs. Hatcher opened the door wider. “We’ve just finished supper, but we’ve plenty of leftovers if you’re hungry.”
Remaining on the porch, she said, “Thank you, but I couldn’t manage another bite. I overindulged at the fair today.”
The other woman assumed a knowing look. “Mr. Copeland seems to enjoy doting on you. I had my concerns about my Sally working for him in the beginning, but he turned out to be a fair-minded employer, if you ignored his reclusive nature.”
Apparently Sally hadn’t shared what had happened earlier in the day. “I actually came to see her. Is she available?”
Leaning out the door, she pointed to the barn. “She’s milking, but she won’t mind the company.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Hatcher.”
One of the younger children hollered from somewhere in the house. With an apologetic smile, she waved and closed the door. Ellie went in search of her young friend. Alexander had escorted her home two hours ago. After a much-needed rest on the couch with a borrowed book, she’d told June she had an unavoidable errand to complete. Entering the large structure, she prayed for wisdom. Pushing Sally further away wasn’t the outcome she hoped for.
“Hello? Sally?”
A rustling sound came from a stall on the far right end. “Down here,” she called.
Ellie found the right one and rested her hands on the top ledge. When Sally didn’t look up from her milking, she said, “Your mother said I could find you here.”
“I’m busy.”
“I won’t stay long. I came to see how you were feeling. You were distraught earlier.”
The rhythmic splash of milk hitting the insides of the pail mingled with the clucking of the free-roaming chickens.
“I’m still distraught.” Lifting her head from the cow’s side, she paused in the milking to finally meet Ellie’s gaze. She looked more angry than anything. “If not for Mr. Copeland, I’d be going to the dance tomorrow night with Ben. I’m in love with him, you know.”
“Is he in love with you?”
Her eyes flared. “H-he hasn’t said as much. Some men aren’t comfortable sharing what’s in their heart. A tough lawman like Ben is bound to have trouble expressing the finer sentiments.”
“Sally, when a man is interested in courting you, he won’t leave you in doubt. Ben
has been vocal about his decision to remain a bachelor. He doesn’t want the commitment or responsibility of a long-term relationship.”
Lips quivering, Sally averted her face, chin dipping toward her chest. “We’ll never know if he might’ve felt differently about me, will we?”
Hurting for the girl, Ellie went into the stall and touched her thin shoulder. “Sweetie, Alexander was trying to help. He doesn’t want you to get hurt.”
She sniffled. “He doesn’t care about me. All he cares about is his business and who’s going to serve his precious customers.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you’d seen his face after you left. He feels horrible, Sally. He wanted to come after you, but I advised him to wait.”
Sally dashed wetness from her cheeks. “Do you think maybe he’ll speak to Ben? Take back whatever it was he said?”
Sighing, Ellie lowered her hand to her side. “I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.”
“I see.”
“Alexander’s got a good heart. Deep down, I think you know that.” When she remained stubbornly silent, Ellie added, “I’d like you to do something for me.”
Dejection switched to denial. “I’m not coming back.”
“Not that.” Ellie held up her hands. “I’d like for you to ponder your interactions with the deputy. Examine his behavior. Ask yourself if perhaps your own hopes colored your perceptions. One last thing—men don’t typically like to be told what to do. If Ben has serious intentions toward you, he doesn’t strike me as the type who’d meekly back away if someone raised objections.”
Exiting the stall, she sent her a final glance. “Good evening, Sally.”
For Alexander’s sake, she hoped her visit wasn’t for naught.
* * *
Alexander held the plain gold band in the palm of his hand. Alone in his living quarters—when was he not alone up here?—he waited for guilt to rush in. He deserved to wallow in it. He’d kissed a woman other than his wife. The role he’d played in Sarah’s ultimate demise, his arrogance in thinking he’d bested their enemies, dictated he remain alone and unhappy for the rest of his days. He didn’t feel either when he was with Ellie. Holding her beneath the comforting autumn sun in the shade of a dozen trees, he’d felt more in tune with another person than at any other time in his life. To his shame, he’d do it again in a heartbeat.
The gold band mocked him. You think you can protect Ellie?
Closing his fingers around it until the metal bit into his flesh, he shut his eyes and immediately saw the lifeless forms of his wife and child. Just like with Sarah, he’d promised Ellie he’d keep her safe. Was he deceiving them both?
The thought ignited fear deep inside. He couldn’t fail another mother and child.
Replacing the ring inside the drawer, he shut it with a snap and went to fix himself a solitary cup of tea, the battle between what he should do and what he wanted to do raging inside. Call off the engagement and let Sheriff Timmons and Ben guard Ellie? Or continue as they had been, spending an increasing amount of time together that somehow skewed their thinking and muddied their true mission?
Gulping down the steaming hot liquid, he went to bed, expecting to spend hours staring at the rafters overhead. Next thing he knew, the bedside alarm was jangling, jolting him awake. He washed and dressed, no clear answers to his dilemma, before descending the stairs to start on breakfast.
He froze on the bottom step.
“What are you doing here?”
Ellie calmly hung her dove-gray knitted shawl on the hook and slipped her apron over her head. “Good morning, Alex. How did you sleep?”
He liked when she called him that. Gripping the banister, he was transported to the first time he’d clapped eyes on her. They’d stood in the exact same spots. His ulcer and his lack of the proper precautions had landed him in a poor state of health. Annoyed with himself and dealing with a substantial amount of physical pain, he hadn’t welcomed his new cook with open arms. Back then she’d been reed thin and wan, grappling with the unexpected loss of her husband and stuck in a troublesome environment with hostile in-laws.
To him, she’d been nothing more than an irritant, an obstacle to his goal of shutting out the world. Alexander couldn’t have guessed she’d shift his very existence and resurrect the hope he’d thought had been destroyed in the fire.
Now, he soaked in her lush beauty. This morning she’d pulled her rich brown hair into a loose twist that framed her face, stray strands teasing the line of her jaw. The deep purple blouse she’d paired with a serviceable black skirt complemented her fair complexion. How fortunate he’d be if she was indeed destined to be his!
“I slept well, thank you,” he belatedly answered. “You should still be in your bed. Resting.”
Having tied off her apron, she turned toward him, her smile serene. “I am rested. And you can’t seat customers, fetch their drinks and food, and cook at the same time.”
“Flo and I would’ve managed somehow.”
“You would’ve had unsatisfied customers on your hands.”
He adopted a stern expression. “Have you forgotten what happened yesterday?”
Unfazed, she glanced over at the stoves and shrugged. “I’ll be on alert for the signs of overheating. I’ll step outside for fresh air if I need to.”
He furrowed his brow.
She laughed. “You worry too much, you know that?”
Flo arrived then, and Alexander explained what had happened with Sally. After expressing her considerable surprise, she got straight to work on the biscuits. He fetched a slab of bacon to slice, and Ellie chose to soft boil the eggs instead of scrambling. She also started on a big batch of oatmeal.
At five minutes until seven, he entered the dining room. Already a handful of men were waiting on the boardwalk, no doubt eager for hot coffee and tasty food to fill their bellies. He unlocked the door and bid them enter. The next three hours were a blur. Again and again, he answered the same question—where was Sally?—his own disappointment deepening as the morning wore on. Sally and Flo were fixtures here. It didn’t feel right when one of them was absent.
At one point, he was in the kitchen to brew more coffee when he approached Ellie. “How are you holding up?”
She flashed him a long-suffering look. “I’m fine. How are you?”
“Fine.” He watched her pull out another tray of biscuits. “No, I’m not. I’m not suited to waitressing. I thought Sally might show up today.”
Laying aside the leather cooking gloves, she reached out and gave his arm a light squeeze. “She fancies herself in love. To her, you’re the obstacle to everlasting happiness.”
“You’re serious?”
“She’s young and impetuous. I believe she’ll come around.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
Her mouth twisted. “Then you’ll have to hire a new waitress.”
From the other side of the room, Flo snorted. “Once her mamma learns what she’s done, she’ll have a thing or two to say about the matter. You don’t give up a position such as hers without so much as by-your-leave. Young ones got to learn responsibility.”
She regaled them with stories of her own sons’ antics. Alexander and Ellie exchanged a secret smile. Flo’s favorite subjects were her children and grandchildren. As soon as he was able to slip away without being rude, he returned to the dining room to tend the remaining five customers. He happened to gaze out the window. What he saw caused his heart rhythm to slip.
“It can’t be,” he murmured.
There on the boardwalk stood a young woman in elegant yet wrinkled traveling clothes, her expression unsure as she compared the window lettering to the paper in her hand. Disbelieving, Alexander remained stock-still as she pushed the door open.
The bell’s ding barely registered. The footsteps
behind him in the hall were muted. Ellie’s voice reached him, but he couldn’t decipher it for the buzzing in his ears.
The newcomer entered, her bonnet’s brim framing her matured features and hiding much of the raven waves she used to wear in pigtails. Her wide blue eyes that surveyed the café interior were still bright with intelligence and curiosity. Seconds passed until that gaze finally came to rest on him. Shock registered first, followed by unfettered joy.
Her squeal echoed through the space, and as she rushed into his arms, Alexander found himself drowning in a sea of emotion.
Chapter Sixteen
Alexander’s past had come to town. A tight ball formed in the middle of Ellie’s chest as she watched the very public, very enthusiastic reunion between him and the stunning stranger. Although his face registered lingering shock, his eyes told another story...he loved this woman. Affection brightened his eyes to celestial blue as he openly studied her.
For a wild moment, Ellie wondered if this was an old flame, someone who’d loved Alexander from afar and who’d ultimately decided to follow him to Tennessee. Or perhaps she was a beloved friend who hoped to be more.
The commotion brought Flo to the dining room. The customers ceased their conversations in order to listen in.
When the pair finally realized they were at the center of attention, Alexander turned to Ellie and Flo. Looking at them side-by-side, Ellie realized her identity was obvious. They shared the same hair and eye color, and their facial structure bore similarities. Ellie’s relief was tempered by the fact that one day in the future, she’d be forced to see Alexander with a woman who was not his sister, one who truly was linked to him in a romantic sense. The knowledge was like a dreadful dream that offered no escape. In that moment, she realized her feelings had progressed far beyond friendship.
She loved him.
She was in love with her boss, a man who would never return her feelings.
There wasn’t time to process the revelation because Alexander was introducing his sister to Flo. Ellie was next.
He hesitated. “Margaret, I’d like you to meet Ellie, my...um...”
