by Susan Irene
“He’s the manager.”
“I know but it’s not like that. When I say he is there, he is literally at my door when I walk out in the morning and I feel he is watching and waiting for me to come home and he greets me at the door and walks me to my room.” She took a sip of her water. “He stands real close and tries to put his arm around me.”
“Do you want me to say something to him?”
“Would you? I tried but he just isn’t getting the message.”
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Okay?” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Everything will be okay.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed his hand back. “Hey when you squeezed my hand did you feel this lump here.” She rubbed the spot between her thumb and index finger. “I don’t know what it is. Most days it doesn’t bug me but some days it feels really obvious.”
“Here, let me see.” He reached for her hand. He was sure that he knew what she was feeling. “I’m sure it is just some scar tissue. It’s not red or swollen so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Thanks, I just needed to make sure it wasn’t anything serious.”
They finished their dinner and said goodnight to Patsy. Michael drove Megan back to her room, parked the truck, and walked her to the door and as she had told him, there was Mark waiting for her.
“Well you’re out late on a weeknight.” He held the door open for her to enter.
“I’m not sure if that is any of your business.” She responded to him as she passed by him.
He ignored her response and turned to Michael. “Goodnight Michael.” He shut the door and turned to Megan. “Here let me walk you to your room.” He tried to take her arm but she pulled away and had to walk fast to keep a step ahead of him. She reached her room and with her shaky hand unlocked the door. She entered the room, turned, and said goodnight to Mark. He held his arm out as she tried to shut him out.
“You know I have a master key to all the rooms.” He removed his arm and walked back down the hall toward the stairs. Megan shut the door and locked it, shaken by what he said. She walked across the room, grabbed the chair from the desk, and jimmied it under the doorknob. She sat down on the bed watching the door.
Clink. Clink. What is that noise? Megan turned around and listened again. Clink. It was coming from outside. She walked over to the window and could make out the silhouette of someone in the trees. She pushed open the window and the smile on her face brightened the night. Michael climbed in and took Megan in his arms. She was happy to see him but Mark’s words where haunting her and she started to shake and then the tears came.
“Hey what’s wrong?” He pulled back keeping his arms on her shoulders. She told him what Mark said to her. He pulled her close. She felt so safe in his arms and the tears quickly dried up. They sat on her bed and decided on the best way to handle him. Michael wanted to go down to his office now and set him straight but he knew that would just cause more trouble for them than for Mark. The clock chimed ten and he got up to leave. They both agreed that their relationship started too quick and decided it best to slow it down.
She walked him to the window and kissed him goodnight. He climbed out and she watched until he was safely on the ground before closing the window. She climbed into bed and fell asleep thinking of him.
Chapter Eleven
“Good morning Megan, do you want to grab some breakfast with me and then walk over to Genesee Mall and check out that new clothing store?” Gwen was ten years younger than Megan was. She was finishing her last year of college and had moved into the dorms two years earlier trying to escape her parents’ tight hold and always seeing eyes. Of course, the dorm had rules that the parents agreed with so they allowed her to move there, but she had big plans once she finished school. She wanted to get out of Genesee. Gwen lived in the room adjoined to Megan’s by the bathroom they shared. They became fast friends, with Megan thinking of her like a younger sister.
“I don’t know about this morning.” Megan put down the basket of laundry she was carrying.
“Wow you look like crap Megan. What’s going on with you? You feel okay?” Gwen came up to her and put her hand on her forehead.
“Yah, I’m okay.” She laughed but she could not hide the anxiety she was feeling. “Just not getting a lot of sleep that’s all.”
“Is it the nightmares again?” She bent down and picked up the laundry basket. “Come on let me help you with your laundry and we can talk.” They walked down the stairs to the laundry room and while Megan threw a load of laundry into the washing machine, she told Gwen about some of the dreams she had been having.
“I just don’t know if they are just dreams or memories.” She poured the soap into the machine and shut the lid. “As much as I want to remember, I don’t want these to be them. They are frightening.”
“Do you see anyone in your dreams?” They both sat down on a nearby bench.
“No, it’s just a cold dark concrete cell. I’m dressed in gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. It just feels more like a memory than a dream.”
“Why do you say that?” Gwen was holding Megan’s shaky hand.
“Well I remember in the dream I was trying to rationalize where I was. But I wasn’t speaking in the dream; it was like I was in my head in the dream, remembering where I should have been opposed to where I was.”
“So what was it you remembered? In your dream, I mean.” Gwen believed in dreams. It was a particular dream of hers that set her rebellion against her parents, a dream of tall buildings and an endless ocean. There were no such things here in Genesee and she was determined to leave to find this place.
“Jumping on a king size bed like a kid.” She smiled at the memory; the feeling of freedom was real.
“Well maybe you should go see your doctor. Maybe they can help you with either pulling these memories out of your head, if they are memories; or helping you with your nightmares if that is what in fact they are.” Gwen pulled Megan into a hug. “I hope you find out either way. I don’t like you looking this way.”
“Thanks Gwen, you’re a good friend.” Megan gave her a warm hug. “How about lunch later?”
“Sounds good.” Gwen said as she got up and left Megan to finish her laundry. Megan thought about what Gwen said and went back up to her room to get the number to her doctor’s office. She hesitated in her room and wondered if she should wait until Monday to give him a call. It was not that it was the weekend, she knew he would be there; but that she would have to use the phone in Mark’s office and she was not in the mood to deal with him today, but the urge to know if these dreams where real or not was too great. She left her room to head downstairs and ran literally into Mark.
“Going somewhere?” He asked sarcastically.
“Yes, actually I was coming to see you.” She said. She felt cornered.
“Oh.” He said as he took a step back. She exhaled the breath she had been holding. He turned and allowed her to pass and followed her down to his office.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t realize you already had someone here.” She said as she walked in and saw he already had company. She tried to walk past Mark, who was blocking the door, but he did not move.
“Megan. My, my, it’s been awhile.” Vince said as the expected drool dripped from his lip. What bothered her more, however, was that she had only seen him once and that was months ago when she first moved into the dorm, but as she stood there looking at him licking the drool off his lips a scene flashed before her eyes.
He laughed at her and raised his arm. She froze as his arm came down and his fist connected with her face. She fell to the floor and he was on top of her before she knew what had happened. His hand was at her throat holding her down. She struggled against him as he ripped her shirt with his free hand. He did not seem to notice her slapping at him as he now worked to get her pants off. He pulled back a little too far and her foot caught him in the groin.
“Oh god, I’m going to be sick.” She pushed past Mark and ran. She took the steps
two at a time and only paused long enough to unlock the door to her room. She rushed in and turned slamming the door and locking it. She grabbed the chair from the desk and jimmied it under the doorknob. She climbed on her bed, pulled her knees to her chest and sat rocking back and forth. It was not until she heard Gwen at the door that she realized she had been sitting there for hours. She got up and opened the door.
“Hey did you forget about lu…Oh my god what happened?” She walked into the room, grabbed Megan’s hands, and led her to the bed. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. I thought about what you had said and went to call the doctor, but there was this guy, a big, ugly scary guy, and a vision of him attacking me popped in my head.” Megan broke down and sobbed.
“Who was this person? Where did you see him?”
“Mark’s office. Red skin…he was big.” She knew she was not making sense. She took a deep breath. “I can’t remember his name but I met him once before when I moved into the dorms.
“It’s Vince, he is head of security.” Gwen laughed. “I’m sorry to laugh but I can see why he scared you. He is a scary person.”
“But it wasn’t that, it was the vision. It seemed so real.”
“Was it another dream?”
“NO! I was awake standing in Mark’s office when I saw it.” She did not mean to yell but Gwen was not getting it.
“Okay, okay. How about I go and call your doctor and we see if we can get you in to see him today?” She sat next to her rubbing her back.
“Will you? I can’t go back down there.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
“Yes, where is your doctor’s number?”
Megan gave Gwen the number and as Gwen left the room, Megan locked the door and went into the bathroom to clean up. She really hoped there was a plausible explanation for all this. She changed her shirt and sat, waiting for Gwen who returned a short time later.
“Come on, he said he has an opening right now.” Gwen grabbed her hand and they ran down the stairs and out the building.
“Slow down.” Megan yelled at her.
“Sorry, Vince was still in Mark’s office and I didn’t want you two to run into each other again.” Their run slowed to a fast walk and they talked about what Megan should tell the doctor once they arrived.
“Will you come in with me?” Megan asked.
“Of course.” Gwen said and gave Megan a quick squeeze. They walked into the doctor’s office and told the clerk the purpose of their visit. The clerk told them to take a seat that it might be a few minutes but as they went to sit down, the doctor came out.
“Megan Strauss.” He said. Both Megan and Gwen turned.
“I’m Megan.” She said to the doctor that she recognized as her doctor from the hospital. “Dr. Howe, right?”
“Yes, this way please.” He directed her through the door he held open. “I’m sorry, Miss, you’ll need to wait out here.” He told Gwen. Gwen looked at Megan and Megan nodded her okay. He led her down the hall and into an examination room.
“So tell me about these dreams.” They both took a seat and she began with the first dream she had that she questioned whether it was a dream or a memory. When she finished, Dr. Howe got up and walked across the room.
“I want to do a sleep study on you. It sounds like it may be just dreams but with the one you had today while you were awake it makes me wonder.” He paused.
“What will a sleep study tell you?” She wanted to know the truth. It had been months since she woke from her coma. She was ready to know her past.
“Your dreams come from a different part of your brain than your memories. By monitoring your brain while you sleep, we can see if it is dreams or memories. Or maybe even both.”
“What is involved in a sleep study? Do I sleep in my own bed and you monitor me from there?”
“No, we have a facility here that you will stay for the night. We will put electrodes on your head.” She shivered at the sound of electrodes and unconsciously put her hand to her head. “It won’t hurt.”
“Okay, well when can we do this?” She tried to put up a brave front but her voice gave her anxiety away.
“Tonight. I’m going to have my nurse come in and have you fill out some paperwork. Is your friend willing to get you some stuff you’ll need from your place?” He asked.
“Can I go get it? I still have laundry in the wash and…” Dr. Howe cut her off.
“It’s late and we would like for you to get settled so you relax and are able to sleep. The room you will be in is similar to your dorm room.”
Dr. Howe allowed Gwen to come in and see Megan, who gave her a list of items to bring. She felt bad asking so much of her but Gwen was more than happy to do it.
“I only wish I could sleep over too. It would be like a slumber party.” They both laughed. She was glad she had Gwen as her friend. She had a bubbly personality and always had a way of relaxing Megan when she needed it. Though she thought of her as a close friend, she held back on one thing. Gwen did not know about Michael. Megan pondered on whether to tell her now; she really did not want him to worry if he came over and found her room empty, but something was gnawing at her and she did not know if it was the pending sleep study or something more.
Gwen returned a little later with her clothes and toiletries. Megan thanked her for her help and asked if she would be there in the morning. Gwen ensured her she would be there, they hugged and Gwen wished her goodnight and left. Megan settled down in a lounge chair and turned on the television. She did not watch television much since she did not have one in her room and did not like going to the common area to watch. She was about to dose off when Betty walked.
“Hi Megan.” The motherly nurse from the time Megan spent in the hospital walked over to her.
“Betty!” Megan jumped up from the chair and gave her a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“I was working a shift at the hospital and heard you were doing a sleep study so I thought I would come over and see how you were doing.” They both sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I’m good. I think I might be getting my memory back.” She fiddled with her fingers. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Is that a good thing?” Betty noticed the nervous tension.
“I don’t know. The dreams…or memories I’m having are scary.” She put her arm around Betty. “I’m so glad you are here. Maybe you were right, maybe my past life was one I don’t want to go back to.”
“Well let’s just wait and see.” She gave Megan a hug. “Would you like some tea? It always relaxes me.”
“Yes that would be nice. Thank you.” Betty got up, left the room and returned a short time later with two cups of tea. She handed one to Megan and they made small talk as they both sipped on their tea. After a short time, Megan was yawning.
“Wow, I’m sorry. I’m so tired. I hate to cut our visit short but I think I’m going to bed.” She stifled another yawn.
“That’s fine sweetie, I’ll be here in the morning. Get some sleep.” Betty walked her to the bed and tucked the blankets around her. She headed for the door and turned out the light before walking out the door.
“Is she out?” Dr. Howe asked.
“I’d give her another fifteen minutes and then she’ll be ready.” Betty replied.
Megan stretched and rolled over. She felt unnaturally refreshed. She does not ever remember feeling this rested. She climbed out of bed and went to the door. As she reached for the doorknob, it turned and the door swung open.
“Well good morning. Did you sleep well?” Betty greeted her.
“I have to say that was the best sleep I have ever had. I don’t remember dreaming though so…did the sleep study go okay?”
“Get dressed and collect your things and then come out here so we can go over the results with you.” Megan collected her things and sat waiting patiently for the doctor and Betty to come back.
“Good morning Megan.” Dr. Howe said as he came in the room. �
��I won’t keep you long but wanted to go over the results of the sleep study with you.”
“Were you able to get any results? I don’t remember dreaming last night.” Megan just wanted to get this over with so she could decide how to move on with her life.
“You did dream and shouted out a few times while having them. They seemed pretty intense but as I said they were just dreams.”
“Then how do you explain the episode the other day in Mark’s office?”
“I think you stressed your mind so much over whether these were dreams are real that you started mixing your dreams with reality. Vince is a scary looking guy and your dreams were scary, so it made sense that your mind put the two together.” Megan laughed at what he said. Vince was definitely scary looking. Maybe he was right.
“So what do I do?”
“Keep a journal of your dreams. Write down everything, including how you felt when you had them. I want to see you in three months to review them, but if you feel there is something specific or bothersome then come see me earlier.”
“Thank you Dr. Howe.” She shook his hand as he got up and left the room. She turned to Betty now. “Thank you for being here for me.”
“No problem sweetie. Your friend is in the waiting room.” They both got up and walked out of the room. Megan turned and hugged Betty, said goodbye, and walked over to Gwen.
“So how did it go?” She asked as they walked out of the building. Megan told her everything the doctor said.
“I’m just relieved that it is over. I feel like if I have these dreams again that I won’t over react as much. Dr. Howe said if I hadn’t got my memory back by now, likely I won’t and I need to get that off my mind so I don’t have these mixed emotions.” The morning air was cool; fall was just around the corner. She had wasted too much of her time worrying about her past. It was end of summer and with the fall harvest soon upon them, she decided it was time to make changes. She picked up her pace and did not slow down until Gwen yelled at her to wait up.
