Road to Recovery

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Road to Recovery Page 10

by Ann, Natalie


  “I guess you do get a few for that. But I’ve got the card tucked safely in my bag right now since the message was a bit more than I’d want anyone to see in the office. And speaking of that, I’m afraid that people will start asking questions, or looking at me more carefully. Other than Cori, no one else really knows about us. I would prefer to keep it that way.”

  Some more creaking as he rocked. “I understand your hesitation, Brooke, but we’re consenting adults here. There’s nothing to hide. It’s going to come out sooner or later. My assistant already figured it.”

  “What? How?” Her voice took on a high pitch.

  “Geez, that was my ear, you know.”

  “Sorry.” She lowered her voice, trying not to chuckle when she heard what she assumed was him pitching forward and his feet hitting the floor. “But I don’t understand. How did she figure it out?” Brooke asked, her anxiety rising to another level.

  “Relax, Rhonda won’t tell anyone,” he said, most likely settling back into his reclined position, causing more creaking over the phone. “My mom called, invited me to a cookout, and I didn’t realize there were still people in the room when I mentioned I was bringing a guest.” He rushed out to assure her. “I didn’t say your name.”

  “Then how did she figure it out?” she asked, frowning at the flowers she was tracing with her finger.

  “Let’s see, Rhonda’s words were ‘don’t play dumb with me, I’ve got eyes in my head.’” He sighed as she continued to remain silent on the other end. “I’m not as good as you at hiding how I feel. I’m not sorry about it, either. Don’t worry, I’m not going to announce it over the intercom, nor am I saying we should walk down the hall holding hands. But I’m not going to lie if someone comes straight out and asks, because people are going to start to wonder. And talk. The more you deny, the more rumors form. Better to be upfront.”

  She was silent for a few seconds and finally relented. “You make it sound so simple. Once again.”

  “Because it is simple. You make it sound so hard.”

  “OK, one day at a time. But I’m serious. This doesn’t mean making twice as many trips to my office, least of all for no good reason.”

  “There goes my sex in the office fantasy.” He sighed deeply, his grin coming through the phone.

  Though she knew he was joking, she felt she had to respond. “Not on your life.”

  “I can compromise. How about sex in-a-pair-of-killer-heels fantasy later tonight?”

  Her pulse started to pick up. She cleared her throat. “That I can manage.”

  A loud squeak and thump, his feet hitting the floor again. “Really?”

  She turned at the knock on her door, a second before it was opened by her boss, Mark, the HR Director.

  “Sorry,” Mark said when he saw her on the phone, “I need to see you in my office for a minute.”

  Standing up, she placed her hand over her phone and answered Mark. “Sure, I’ll be right down.” Then she pulled her hand away, her voice staying completely neutral when she answered Lucas. “That sounds good. We can discuss it later.” She ended the call before he could say another word.

  ***

  Later that night, lying in his bed, hands stacked behind his head, staring at the ceiling, Lucas conceded she had given him everything he wanted out of it. And then some.

  His mind started to wander back. He had been walking out of the gym locker room as Brooke and Cori finished up. He knew Brooke was watching him carefully to see if he would act any different than normal, but he didn’t. Just walked by, greeted them both quickly with a smile and wink, and then went about his workout.

  Almost an hour later he pulled into her driveway. He saw her before he even shut the door to his Range Rover, standing in the open doorway to her home.

  His steps faltered when he got a good look at what she was wearing. Brooke had obviously come home and showered after her own workout, then changed again.

  Her hair was pulled back in a messy knot, leaving her slim neck bare. His eyes traveled further down and noticed the green and white shapeless dress she was wearing. Something like a tunic, he thought absently. There was nothing sexy about it, until he realized that it stopped mid-thigh, exposing most of her legs. And those toned legs looked endless.

  She shifted her hips and placed one arm on the doorframe above her head in a clearly provocative move. Causing her dress to rise up even higher. He would have guessed there was only about a foot of material covering her most private area and a tad bit of thigh.

  It only got better when his eyes moved down. Resting on the bronze heeled sandals she was wearing. Which easily added four inches to her height. Barely there sex-on-a-stick heels. Straps around her ankles, with a little piece of leather stretched across the top of her foot. Showcasing the bright pink pedicure that flashed back at him.

  He had never seen anything as sexy as Brooke standing there smiling at him in the doorway with a come-hither look.

  Dropping her arm from the doorway as he made his way up the few stairs, she moved back to let him in, clicking the door shut behind him.

  Painfully aware of how tight the front of his jeans had gotten, he reached his hand behind her head, loosening her hair in the process, and leaned in for a taste of her. There was no softness, just heat, and power. He thought he was going to combust.

  Not knowing or caring if he was rough—at the moment, he had to get his hands on her, he had to possess her—his mouth continued to feed off of her, while his hand ran down her side, to the hem of her dress. Because the dress was so loose-fitting it rose easily when his hand glided underneath, searching for her essence.

  He received another shock, causing his jeans to become tighter, making it almost unbearable. “Brooke, you aren’t wearing any underwear,” he growled into her mouth.

  He pushed her back against the wall, his groin grinding into her. She rubbed up against him and he kissed her harder, not even caring if their lips were going to end up bruised.

  Sliding his hand between her legs, he murmured, “You are so wet, so fast, just for me. All for me.” He slid one and then two fingers inside of her.

  Gripping his shoulders tight, her moans were almost animalistic as she continued to rub up against him, trying to pull him closer.

  Sensing what she was after, he slid his thumb up to rub her as he pushed his fingers deeper. Within seconds she was throbbing, her inner muscles gripping his fingers, her cries ripped from her throat as she held on and rode out the waves. He was merciless, not stopping till she was rung dry. Left shaken, leaning dazed and limp against the wall, gasping for air.

  “Wow.” Her eyes closed shut.

  Lucas broke away and grabbed her hand. He led her on shaky legs down the hall toward her bedroom, only to change directions at her office door instead.

  Stopping at the front of her desk, he placed his hands on her lower back and started to guide her body. “Lie on your stomach across the top and grab the back,” he ordered her. Not giving her a moment to hesitate, he placed his hands on hers and moved them forward the way he wanted.

  He stepped back to see her upper body lying on the desk, bent over, cheeks peeking out the bottom of the dress, begging for his touch.

  His body was throbbing painfully, he couldn’t wait a minute longer. Unzipping his jeans and rushing a condom on, he rubbed against her. His big hands grasped her hips and slid her dress up to expose all of her. Running his hands over and around each luscious mound. Listening to her moan, until he couldn’t take it anymore.

  The sight of her there, bent over just so, waiting for him for the taking finally sent him over the edge of sanity. Positioning himself at her entrance, he easily slid into her moist passage. “Hang on tight,” he demanded as he grabbed her by the hips and started to move. Slowly at first, pacing, wanting to savor the feeling, never wanting it to end. She felt so good, so tight from behind trying to push her body back against him, take more of him.

  He pulled out completely, heard her plead
for more and then slid back home. Speeding up, and easing back, he teased her, drawing the pleasure out for both of them.

  The sounds she was making were roaring in his ears, fueling him to increase the momentum, give her what she was begging for. He was so close, but he wanted her there with him. “Are you there, baby? Come for me. Let me feel you squeeze me tight. Come on, baby, right now.” He groaned as she shouted out, felt her muscles constrict around him, his hands digging into her hips. “Holy shit. Holy Shit.”

  He breathed out and stepped back, then took care of the condom. When she didn’t move, only continued to lie there across the desk panting, he asked, “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t plan that. But when I saw you in the doorway, my body took over.”

  She finally rolled over, sat on the edge of the desk, and looked at him, her eyes glazed over. “Did we do that on my desk? I’m never going to be able to work here again without thinking about this.” With a shy smile she told him. “Guess you got your office fantasy after all.”

  Shutting Down

  The next day after changing back into her work clothes, Brooke heard Lucas’s voice in the hallway of her physical therapist’s office. She knew it was cowardly, but she wanted to stay there and hide until he was gone.

  After a few minutes, she decided to risk it, realizing how childish she was being. Pushing the door open, she prayed he wouldn’t look her way. No such luck.

  “Brooke?” Lucas asked, interrupting Scott, her therapist.

  “Hi, Lucas.” She acknowledged him with a nod, gripped the shoulder strap of her bag, and continued on her way.

  She knew it wouldn’t be that easy. He caught up with her before she could make it to the elevator. “Are you getting physical therapy?”

  “Obviously,” she replied with a sigh.

  “Obviously,” he repeated with a bite of sarcasm. “If it’s so obvious then why haven’t you said anything about it?”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Why would I?” She knew that was the wrong answer and regretted it the minute it was out of her mouth. She could see the hurt in his eyes and felt her own guilt creeping in.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because it’s something that would come up now and again.” He leaned in closer, kept his voice low. “Like when we’re in bed and I’m asking if I’ve hurt you, or if you are in pain. If everything was all right.”

  She glanced around at the patients and employees moving throughout the hallway. It wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation. “Not now. We can talk about this tonight if you want, but not now and not here.” She turned and walked away.

  ***

  He stood there, watching her retreating figure. She shut down. Again. It wasn’t the first time he had witnessed it. But it was the first time she did it to him.

  Whenever she felt out of control, or off balance, her first reaction was to shut down, to go into self-protection mode. He knew it was her defense mechanism to regain control of a situation.

  And it killed him that she felt she needed to do it with him. That she couldn’t or wouldn’t open up to him. Even with something as simple as this.

  She always told him just enough. Enough to get by and stop the questions, but never all the facts. She always held back parts of herself.

  Should he go after her and have it out, or wait until later? Glancing at his watch, he realized it would have to be later.

  ***

  Brooke jumped when she turned and saw Lucas in her open doorway. She hadn’t heard his approach because her mind was on their upcoming conversation. All thoughts of what she might say flew out her brain while he stood quietly staring at her, obviously trying to read her thoughts.

  Gathering her courage, she walked toward him. “I’m heading home now,” she said, her voice level.

  When he nodded, she walked past him and noted that he fell in step with her down the hallway. They were both quiet in the elevator on the way down, over the glassed-in bridge and back to the parking garage elevator.

  Stepping out of the elevator before her, he turned and said, “See you in a bit.” He didn’t even look around to see who might have heard.

  For once Brooke cursed the fact that she hit all the green lights on her way home, wishing the drive home were longer than the normal twenty minutes and hoping to push this conversation off.

  She hated confrontations. She knew she was wrong to not tell him. Knew it. But she couldn’t stand to see the look of pity he’d give her if he knew she was still going through therapy.

  She worked hard to let everyone know she was fine. She didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to talk about her accident, or relive any of it. She wanted to move on with her life.

  Every therapy session she finished was one step closer to the last one. She was almost done, only a few more. One week left. Cursing her bad luck, she almost made it through without anyone other than Cori knowing.

  Brooke thought she was so smart scheduling them close to her lunch hour, or saying she had a meeting. No one ever thought anything of her leaving the office with her large bag that she had stuffed her gym clothes into. Not that it was anyone’s business, but she didn’t want to talk about it. Just do it. End of story.

  And now she was going to be forced to talk about it. But there was only so much she would say—or feel. Or allow herself to feel again.

  She left the front door unlocked for him, knew he was only moments behind. The tension of her would-be-conversation with Lucas was causing muscle fatigue in her back. Trying not to limp, she walked to her closet to change out of her work clothes and get more comfortable.

  Lucas walked into her closet when she was pulling her shirt over her head. She dropped it back down, then deciding that offense was the best course of action, she started, hoping that it gave her a bit more control over the situation. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It actually didn’t even cross my mind.” She fibbed, but then added the truth. “I followed up with a new doctor and she wanted me to have a few therapy sessions to make sure I was where I said in my recovery. A few more and I should be done. I’m fine.”

  “You’re fine? That is all you have to say?” he asked, a shocked expression on his face.

  “Yes, I’m recovering well. You can see that. The doctor wanted to see that for herself.”

  She could see he was frustrated but didn’t understand why. Agitated, he raked his hands through his hair. “Yeah, I can see you’re fine, physically. And when you aren’t. Not that you would ever say anything about it, because you never talk about it. Ever. You never talk much about yourself, at all. Nothing personal, nothing that ever matters.”

  He paused and saw her head tilt to the side, her brows come together. “What? Conversation not going the way you thought it would in your mind?” He started to pace, until he seemed to realize they were in her closet and stopped.

  “You can’t plan it all out, Brooke. You don’t get it, do you? Why didn’t you tell me? Because you thought I would pity you? Do you think I’m that naive? I think I know you well enough by now to know that’s the last thing you’d ever want from anyone. You don’t want help and you don’t want anyone to be concerned about you, least of all me. The man you’ve been involved with for almost a month now.”

  “That’s right, a month. I don’t know why that means I have to tell you everything that I have going on in my life.” She winced as soon as it came out of her mouth and saw his reaction.

  “Are you kidding me? Now who is being naive? Do you not see how I feel about you? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you don’t feel the same way. But I guess I expected a little bit more respect than you would give a friend.”

  She stood still, no expression on her face, no emotions all at, frozen. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. This wasn’t going anything at all like she thought. She wasn’t prepared for this.

  He sighed, dropped his shoulders. “Let’s start over. Brooke, I care about you. That doesn’t mean I pity you. It means that I’m concerned
about you. I don’t want to see you in pain. I want to help you, if I can.”

  He held his hand up when she started to protest. “I’m not only talking about physical pain. Open up to me. I’m not trying to control you, or change you for that matter. I want you to let me in. Just a little. Don’t you have anything to say?” he asked, while she stood there continuing to stare at him.

  She was mentally fighting with herself, wishing she knew the right thing to say. She lowered her head in defeat. “What do you want from me? I am who I am.”

  “I want you to talk to me. Why is it so hard to share parts of yourself? You know so much about me, but I hardly know anything about you. Nothing personal, at least.” He reached for her hand, which she allowed him to take. “Let’s go sit and talk, please.”

  She followed him into the living room where she sat on the couch, drew her legs under her, and turned to face him. “I don’t know what to say,” she repeated again. “I don’t know what I should say.”

  “That’s your problem. Don’t think about it. Just say what’s on your mind. Do you know, I’ve never known anyone who thinks as much as you. Not everything has to be thought through. Haven’t you ever said what was on the tip of your tongue? Ever? Regardless of the consequences?”

  She laughed humorlessly and shook her head. “Not that I can remember.”

  “Why is that? Have you ever thought of that? Stupid question, I know you have. So be honest, why are you so controlled about everything? Why does everything have to be thought through so much before you speak? Before you act?”

  Reaching out, he laid his hand across her tightly clenched fists. “Your knuckles are white. I don’t get it. What’s going on, Brooke?”

  Not even realizing what she was doing, she opened her hand under his. Maybe it was the feeling of his strong hand on hers, or maybe it was the fact that he looked and acted like he really did care. Like he cared about what she was thinking and feeling, rather than telling her how she should think and feel. Or maybe she was too tired to fight anymore. “Yes, I’ve thought of why I’m that way. Plenty. I’ve never voiced it out loud, but I’ve thought of it often enough.”

 

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