His heart ached at her words, but he was still determined to try.
"Lexie."
When she turned to face him, he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks against the surprised look on her face.
He couldn't resist. Sam walked up to her and cupped her face.
* * *
"Sam." It wasn't until he touched her that Lexie realized Sam was really there.
His eyes were heavy with sadness, but there was an air of determination that filled them too. "Please, don't let me go. Don't say goodbye." He shook his head.
She fell desperately into his embrace and clung to his jacket as he pulled her in. Lexie welcomed the vibrant sound of his beating heart against her ear and the safety she always felt in his arms. She welcomed the feel of him, and for a few magical moments, she allowed her soul to immerse itself in his presence.
But then ...
Reality snuck its way in and highlighted that despite his plea this still had to be goodbye. Lexie loved Sam with everything in her, and she knew she'd never love anyone the way she loved him, but she couldn't live her life wondering when he was going to leave and trying to preempt what would take him from her. That wouldn't be good for him either.
The whole situation with Amy and Jessica would be a prominent obstacle, and she couldn't be the reason to cause him any problems where Amy was concerned. She loved him too much to put him through such pain.
Besides, in the end, he would never be able to choose her. It would be selfish to make him choose and she'd hate herself for putting him in that position.
With great reluctance and regret, she stepped away from him and grabbed on to the rail for strength as her knees wobbled.
"Lexie." Sam caught hold of her arm and shook his head.
"I can't do this Sam." She couldn't believe those words could ever come out of her. "I understand your situation with Amy, and I admire the deep love you have for her. That's why I can't be the person who causes you problems in seeing her. I won't be the person to cause you such pain, and I can't live my life wondering when you'll leave me."
To her surprise, he took hold of both her hands and pulled her closer. "Lexie... not even death will take me away from you." The intense look in his eyes held her in place. "Not even death." He repeated shaking his head. "It's you that is to be admired for your understanding, and it can't be easy knowing that Amy isn't even my child. I know it looked like when it came down to choosing you came last, but that wasn't the case at all. And, you didn't cause any problems that didn't already exist." His stare reached into her soul.
He pulled in a breath and continued. "I know I left you with nothing and a flimsy explanation and I'm so sorry for that. I just didn't know what to tell you at the time. But, everything has changed now."
"Everything?" Her voice sounded fragile even to her own ears.
He nodded. "I'll explain more later, but I found a way to get legal permission to see Amy. Jessica will never, ever interfere again."
She listened intently.
"How can you be certain?"
"Trust me she won't. It's all taken care of, and I promise that whole craziness will never be a problem ever again."
"Never?" Her voice sounded so fragile, weak from the desire to be with him and for him to belong to her.
"Never. I swear it to you, Lexie." His face was full of strength, shining with steadfast determination that reached out to her soul. "So please, don't let me go. Don't say goodbye. Don't give up on us. Please, can you give me another chance?" He offered a hopeful smile.
She gazed deeply into those eyes she'd trusted from the first day she met him. That entity that drew her to him that day filled her now, lifting her heart, filling her with love. It told her the same thing it did that day. That she could trust and believe him, and the strong-willed determination reflected in his tender gaze showed her he'd done all he could to make sure nothing would drive them apart again. Her heart swelled at the thought and the more she looked at him, the more confirmation she got. Her answer came easily to her.
Lexie nodded. "Yes," she breathed. "Of course I can."
He pulled her in and held her with a desperate need, and she did the same.
"Thank you, Lexie. Thank you so, so much." He whispered against her hair as he rested his chin against the top of her head. Pulling away from her gently he cupped her face again and gazed down at her. "Now... we have to talk about that plan we should have had for ourselves."
"What plan?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Exactly," he smiled. "So, I realized a while back that Chicago stopped feeling like home. It stopped being home the minute I found you. I realized that home was wherever you are, so I put my house up for sale."
"What?" she gasped in complete surprise. "Sam, what are you saying?" She couldn't believe it.
"I'm saying I'm staying in San Francisco." He smiled widely. "And, let's be realistic here. I work too hard. There simply won't be enough time with that crazy schedule I have to go sailing around the world."
When she laughed, he ran his finger across her cheek.
"Sam with your busy schedule we just about have enough time to walk around the pond outside the building." She gazed at him eager to hear what he had to say next.
"Yes, that's why I'll be staying at Cervantes and just focusing on my duties there."
She sucked in a breath when she thought about what that meant. "But, what about St. John & Co? You're Sam St. John."
"I think they can manage without me. My place needs to be here Lexie. Here with you. I just want to be Sam St. John who runs Cervantes. No more traveling back and forward, no more last minute conference calls to Japan or wherever. Just no more."
She searched her mind for the right words to say beyond the shock and recognition of what he was telling her. And all he was giving up, for her.
"Sam, you'd do all that, so you could be with me?" It was a lot. It was... "It's too much."
"I love you, nothing is too much for you, and I'm never, ever, letting you go again."
A tear ran down her cheek as her heart swelled with love for him. "I love you too Sam."
"Really?" he asked playfully. She smiled up at him.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?" he continued to tease.
"Yes I am," she laughed.
"So if I did this..." he suddenly lowered to one knee and gazed up at her.
She was so absorbed with the idea of him staying, and the euphoria of being in love with him that her brain was slow to recognize what he was actually doing. It wasn't until he took out a small velvet box from his jacket pocket that she became aware and her knees nearly buckled.
His eyes never left hers. Sam looked straight at her as if he were staring into her soul and continued. "If I did this and asked you to marry me, and be mine forever, what would you say?"
Her hands flew up to her cheeks, and she gazed at him in complete astonishment. Numbness infused her body and she felt like she was floating from the elation that coursed through her. She beamed down at the beautiful man before her and remembered when he told her she was everything. But it was him that was everything to her. Sam was everything and so much more. She opened her mouth but couldn't speak. Intense joy had overwhelmed her, and she couldn't believe he was asking her to be his wife. To be his forever.
"Yes." There was no thought required for that question. Tears of happiness found their way to her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She smiled down at him and released the breath she'd been holding on to. "I'd say yes Sam."
He smiled up at her looking the happiest she'd ever, ever, seen him, and opened the box revealing the most beautiful princess cut diamond ring that sparkled against the light. He slipped it on her finger, and she threw herself into his arms once more as he stood up. There she would stay forever.
"Thank you for being mine, and making me the happiest man alive." He lowered to kiss her.
"It's me who's happy Sam," she whispered against his soft lips as joy danced through her
heart, making her feel truly complete.
Everything was perfect now.
Finally.
About the Author
Khardine Gray is a contemporary romance author who lives in England with her husband, two kids, and three crazy ferrets.
She is well traveled, cultured, and a woman with a passion for dancing and ice skating.
When not writing you can catch her shopping, indulging on pizza and hot chocolate, or hanging out with her family and friends.
No need to spend money on an airline ticket. Simply pick up one of Khardine's books to become immersed in the fascinating stories and characters she creates.
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