by Nicola Rose
“You’re stronger than this. You have to be—”
He cut me off with hands around my throat.
“You were never fucking happy. Always pushing me for more. Always taunting the Beast. Well now it’s free and it fucking wants you. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” He squeezed harder until I saw stars.
Teeth sank into my neck. It didn’t hurt. In fact, the sensation was a welcome distraction as my lungs burned from the lack of oxygen he’d strangled out of me. My body submitted, welcoming it. Despite myself, I pressed against him.
But it was short-lived.
Zac was dragged away. He clawed at me as he withdrew, tearing the flesh right the way down my left arm from elbow to wrist. Warmth flooded my hand, blood cascading down.
Eva and Leon fought to keep a silver chain wrapped around his throat.
The haze lifted and I cried out at the realisation of what he’d been about to do to me. What I had submitted to. Would he have made me a vampire, or just killed me?
“Alex!” Eva yelled.
He was still writhing in pain, apparently oblivious to everything.
“Alex!” she tried again, as Zac head-butted Leon. “We can’t hold him, get her out of here.”
Alex stirred, lifting his head to stare at me.
“Jess,” he croaked. “I can’t get out of here like this, the dead blood has flooded my system. I need…. I need to drink. It has to be fresh…”
I was at his side in an instant, thrusting my wrist in front of his face. I shook my head and switched wrists, to the one that was already slick with blood from the gaping wound down my arm. Then I switched back again. It seemed gross to have him feed from a wound. Too animal, too much like being eaten by a zombie.
He batted my offering aside and lunged for my neck. Well, fuck, that already felt like it was mangled, too.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, before clamping down and drinking.
He didn’t linger long. He didn’t have to fight himself to stop. One moment he was slurping, the next he pushed away, all trace of pain gone – and lifted me into his arms.
I glanced back as he carried me away. Zac went spookily still, radiating primal rage, Focussed. Intent.
Leon screamed as blood began pouring from his nose, his eyes, his mouth… even his ears.
“Fuck! No, Zac—” Eva cried, releasing Zac’s chains to catch Leon as he fell.
My head was too light. The edges of my vision went dark. I saw Zac bury his face into Eva’s shoulder, snarling and tearing at her skin. Then we were out, rushing through the city, Alex holding me in a tight embrace.
And all I could think was – I did this.
Somehow, I turned the good guy bad, and the bad guy good.
24
Jess
“Shouldn’t a nurse be doing this for me?” I asked, wincing as the needle stung through my flesh.
“Hospitals ask too many questions and I’m not in the mood for handling their bullshit right now.” Alex was hunched over me, carefully stitching my arm back together.
It was a deep wound. So deep that I was surprised you couldn’t see bone. Or maybe you could, I’d tried not to look too much.
“What about infection?” I pressed.
“I’ll get you antibiotics. Would you sit fucking still?!”
“No, it bloody hurts!” I squirmed. “A hospital would have anaesthetic.”
“Quit being a baby. I released endorphins into you when I fed. The pain you’re feeling is minimal.” His eyes travelled briefly to my neck. I tried to catch his gaze, but he quickly engrossed himself back on the task.
Tipping my head back, I stared at the ceiling and shoved aside the unwanted memory of the orgy that had taken place upstairs the last time I was in his house. It was strangely quiet. None of his cell, none of his women, nothing vampire-ish – just an ordinary rented house, devoid of any personal touches.
“Where’s Anna?” I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.
“Fuck knows. She refuses to listen to me, and my balls have clearly shrivelled up and dropped off, because every time I consider disciplining her I see your disapproving face and it stops me.” He finished stitching, mercifully fast, and rose to his feet with an exaggerated sigh. Still refusing to meet my eye, he moved away and slumped onto a dining chair, head in his hands against the table.
I stood, wavered, and pressed a palm to the wall as a head-rush hit me.
“How much blood did you take?” I mumbled.
“Not as much as I wanted to. You taste fucking divine.”
I groaned and sat back down. Between the gaping wound and having both of them feed on me, I was probably surviving right then on a thimbleful of blood.
“Zac never said anything about dead blood hurting vampires.”
“It’s a pretty closely guarded secret, we don’t like to talk about it. I don’t suppose he told you because what good would it have done? You’re not likely to have dead blood on tap when you need it. Or maybe he always planned to use it against me and wanted to keep the surprise for you.”
Perhaps that was true. He had always said that he would kill Alex one day. And I was finally realising I couldn’t trust anything I thought I knew about him.
“What was with the whole breaking his arms thing?” Alex asked. “You didn’t tell me your magic training had progressed that far.”
A brief tang of something sinister washed through me with the memory of Zac’s bones crushing beneath my will. The same feeling that had begun to take hold during the time it was occurring. Control. Depravity.
“It hasn’t. I don’t know where that came from. It scared me… the feeling I had. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to unleash everything, evil and horrible thoughts—”
“Of course you did, that’s the lure of the darkness,” he shrugged. No big deal that the idea of ripping Zac limb from limb had seemed too appealing.
I shivered against the memories, relieved at least that those sensations had faded. My thoughts turned to Eva and Leon. What did he do? If he killed them… I couldn’t bear any more guilt on my soul.
No. He could have obliterated them with a snap of his fingers, he had that power. He wouldn’t do that to them. There was still some of himself left. I had to believe that.
Perhaps there was one way for me to check.
It didn’t matter how many times a day I called Zac, he never answered, so I hit the call button for Eva.
“Would you stop worrying about me? It’s you that’s sitting in a shitstorm,” she sighed.
Thank fuck! She was alive. There was hope.
“Nothing new there,” I replied, flexing my fingers to check for nerve damage. It was going to leave a nasty scar. “Did you know that adrenalin heightens my magic? I’ve spent my life seeking it out without truly realising what it was I sought.”
“Is the witch helping you?”
I glanced at Alex and hesitated. Exactly how much did Eva know about Constance? She was the one who had put me back in touch with Sofia, but did she know…? Zac had said that he knew I was up to something. I just wasn’t sure how much they knew, and what it would mean if they did.
And where was Constance, anyway? The nagging worry eased back into my gut.
“She’s helping, to a degree,” I finally conceded. “Are you OK? I was so worried about how much Zac hurt you. And what about Leon? Please tell me he’s alright? How did you get away from him?”
“We didn’t need to get away. Once you were out of range he managed to get hold of himself and calm down before too much damage was done. We’ve healed. It’s fine.”
I couldn’t even picture him calm any longer. Had he ever been calm? Even at our best he was brimming with barely concealed hunger. Always tense, always ready to snap. All I saw of him when I closed my eyes now was the new, angry and demented version of him – all black eyed and entirely feral, his body a vessel for a swirling mass of hatred.
He hated me. Had it really always been so? I’d accused him o
f victim-blaming, but was I the victim, or was he? I’d paraded around, pushing his buttons, testing his limits. Did I ever stop to consider what I was putting him through? All the while he fought against this Beast in his head, and now it was loose, just like he’d warned me.
Would Eva understand if I chose to side with Alex, or Constance, and fight the Bael? Surely she’d agree, if it helped Zac?
“I’ve got your back , Jess. I’ve always had it, from the moment you came into our lives and I saw what you meant to Zac. But don’t expect me to side with you over him.”
“Even when he’s wrong?” I snapped, a little harsher than intended.
No. He wasn’t the victim. It was his fucked up world that caused all this.
“He’s not wrong. He’s struggling, but he’s never wrong,” she said.
Alex scoffed loudly. Of course he could hear every word, even though the phone was pressed to my own ear.
“How much does he know, about the witch—?” I started.
“The less he knows, the better.” Not Eva’s voice, but Zac’s. My heart stuttered, and Alex stiffened. “I don’t know exactly who she is or what your agenda is, and that’s the way it needs to stay. I don’t want to know, else Emory is more likely to find out.”
“Right.” Was that it, that was all he had to say?
“I’m sorry,” his voice had lost the rabid, demonic tone. He sounded like my Zac again. My chest ached.
“Right,” I said again.
“I’m in a moment of clarity right now. They come and go. Sometimes I’m… I can’t control it. For brief windows the darkness slips and I can feel again. What just happened… I’m ashamed, and terrified. I can’t make amends, I can only vow that it will never happen again.”
“You don’t seem to be in any position to make that promise.”
“No,” he mused. “And my only hope of sticking to it is to stay as far away from you as possible. I won’t ever be returning.”
I tried to speak, but the words died on my lips.
“Alexander, I know you’re there,” Zac continued. “Promise me, if I ever come back, if I ever go near Jess again – you’ll kill me.”
“Done,” Alex replied immediately. I gaped at him in horror.
“Regardless of the fact you’ll lose your Legacy power, that’s irrelevant compared to her life. You must do it, to keep her safe.”
“I already agreed, Zachariah, I don’t need any further persuasion. Next time I see you, I end you. Simple enough.”
“Jess?” Zac was too calm, too resigned. All the air in my lungs had whooshed out and lodged in my throat. I coughed to try and clear it. “Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. Right now, while I’m like this, I can tell you honestly that I won’t hold anything against you – whatever choices you make.”
“I love you,” I breathed.
“More fool you,” was his only response.
“That went well,” Alex grinned.
I toyed with the idea of ramming my silver dagger through his eyeball. “If you think your brother attempting to kill us both is a good day—”
“Yes, but he’s having a precious moment of clarity,” he imitated Zac’s voice in a sarcastic manner, which had me actually reaching for the blade on my hip.
“OK, OK,” he laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying that he shouldn’t be planning any more surprise attacks for a while.”
“He doesn’t mean any of it. Tomorrow he’ll be back to hatred and hunger again.”
“Of course. But today he meant it. He just set you free.”
“I don’t want him to set me fucking free!” I cried.
“No?”
“Not like that. He’s hurting, just like me, and regardless of the darkness that swallows him, he’s suffering. I have to help him.”
“Good, that’s what I want too. Kind of. I’ll be taking on the Bael with the Unaligned, and they’re eager to learn more about your own Morena Legacy.”
“You told them?!”
“Constance is working towards a solution that’s mutually beneficial. Syn knowing that doesn’t threaten her. In fact, she’s safer. If she agrees to join them, she’ll have their protection.”
“That’s why you lured me here with threats?” Constance stepped into the room and I leapt out of my skin. Couldn’t these people ever arrive like normal beings, just once?
“You’d never have come without some motivation,” Alex flashed her a sly smile.
“Where have you been?” I yelled.
“Missing all the action by the looks of things.” She clicked her teeth and crossed the room, touching her fingers to my neck until I shrugged away. “I’ve been meeting with the leader of Orion’s Descent.”
Alex growled and moved toward her. I put a hand to his chest and, surprisingly, he halted at my touch. “The hunters?” I asked. “If you’re serious, you better leave now.”
“I need muscle,” she said, eyeing Alex like he was a pile of shit on the sidewalk. She looked tired. Still suited-up in her formal, no-nonsense clothing, but her little spark of energy seemed missing. “I don’t have a coven behind me anymore. The Bael will learn of my existence soon and they’ll come for me, but we still need more time, you’re not ready for the ritual. Orion’s Descent will help protect us, because whatever damages the Bael is good with them.”
I felt the tension vibrating through Alex’s chest. He was pure strength. How long would he hold back before he ripped her head off? Hunters?! There was no way he’d sit back and watch me work with hunters. And there was no way I’d agree to it either. After what William did to us—
“If it’s protection you need,” Alex spoke carefully, “then you will receive it from The Unaligned. But only if you call off whatever you’ve arranged with the hunters. You can understand the conflict of interest here?”
“And why would I do that? Hunters are my friends. The Unaligned are vampires. I won’t work with them.”
“You will, or you won’t have me,” I replied. “Constance… hunters are my enemy. Your mission might be to destroy vampires, but mine is simply to get payback on the Bael and release Zac. I’m staying by Alex’s side. Join us, without those hunter scum, or leave.”
I was confident she’d do whatever I wanted. She’d waited centuries for me, I was her sole purpose in life. But then a wave of nausea rolled through my guts. My magic wasn’t playing ball, it was hiding under some heavy wall – would I even be able to help, anyway?!
Then again, what the hell had happened with Zac? I might not have understood where it came from, once again my magic took control of its own release, but I had snapped Zac’s arms with my thoughts! That was a new one. Slowly but surely, I was getting stronger.
“Do you love Jess?” Constance glared at Alex.
“What?!” we both stammered.
She inhaled sharply. “You’re an Elwood. Consider yourself lucky that I will even tolerate being in the same room as you, let alone think about helping you. Your seemingly honest devotion to keeping Jess safe is the only thing protecting you.”
“Devotion is a strong word,” Alex mumbled, clearly thrown off balance by her turn of conversation.
“You wanted to kill me the moment I mentioned hunters, or rather, the moment you met me. But one look, one touch from Jess, and you’re stilled.”
His chest filled with air, clicking his neck, ready to set her right. Was she insane?! Insinuating he was a pet under my control was going to get her obliterated.
“Don’t be embarrassed of your feelings,” she waved a hand. “The Legacy magic has found its own balance. Where one twin has magnified anger, the other is tempered, damped down. Zac’s rage is owning him, but your heart is taking over.”
“You want to test that?” he snarled, finally knocking me aside. “I can damn well summon enough anger to destroy you, witch.”
She cast him a withering look. “I was hoping you’d try. I eat vampires like you for breakfast.”
“And ho
w do we taste?” He was right before her now. “Because I literally do eat the likes of you, and I can tell you that you’ll taste old and bitter. Just like your friends I ate the other day—”
“Sofia?” I gasped.
“Just some coven that was sniffing around, wanting to find the Morena girl who’d sided with vampires. I took out all twenty of them… and they tasted like shit.”
Constance had him on the floor in two seconds. Another two seconds and he’d switched the tables, pinning her over a chair and hovering his fangs to her throat.
“Seriously, get a grip you two. If you want me with you then you have to learn to work together – both of you. That’s the only deal I’m putting on the table.” I collapsed back onto a sofa, dizziness taking hold. “It’s both of you, or neither. I’ll train with you, and I’ll help find ways to end the Bael and free Zac, but when it comes to the crunch I’ll side with whoever I choose at that time. Hopefully we’ll all be in agreement and no siding will be required.”
Except that was a lie.
The day was coming that I would have to pick a side. Zac or Alex?
I was walking a dangerous line, falling for vampire brothers and drowning under the weight of having to choose. Somehow, I turned the good guy bad, and the bad guy good.
The decision would have to come soon, and when it did, the results could be catastrophic for everyone.
25
Jess
The training scheduled resumed. I devoted most of my time to Constance, seeing as unlocking my magic to its full potential seemed to be the best way out of this mess. She still refused to tell me exactly what would be required, just that it would involve a ritual, and all the Elwood vampires would be broken. Except my Elwoods, who she would cast protection upon.
Yeah, it sounded dodgy. I had little doubt that she was lying about that part, and she seemed increasingly distant and distracted, but what else could I do at this point, other than go with it?
Alex told me more about Emory’s plans, and honestly, it made my blood turn to ice. It was bad enough that he’d taken Zac from me, but if Emory succeeded in his schemes there would be far worse matters to deal with. He intended to release vampires onto the world, freeing them of their obligations to hide in the shadows and cover their tracks. They would rise up, smothering the world in death and misery. Humans would become nothing more than slaves.
