by Brent, Cora
“Everyone checks their phone constantly, Sam. It’s an international pastime.”
“True. But you’re only checking because you want to see how much time has gone by so you can decide how much longer you need to stay here.”
I sighed and set my untouched beer down on a nearby table that was already crowded with empty cups. “I’m sorry. I’m just really tired.”
“Oh you are not.”
“I worked all day,” I protested.
“You’re twenty years old, Paige-alicious. You can work all day and stay up all night. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
I grinned. “You stay. Have fun. Find your own DTF.”
“That’s what spring break is for.” My oldest friend tilted her head and gazed at me. “Please come with us, Paige. We’ll go to your house and get you packed up right now so you can leave with us first thing in the morning.”
“And miss a hot date with my bed pillow and essential oil diffuser?” I stood on tiptoe to hug her. “Just send me pics of half naked sexy guys so I know what I’m missing.”
She sighed with defeat. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“That’s okay. I can find it myself. Tell Ric good night and I’ll see you when you return from your spring break debauchery.”
She smirked. “You’ll be sorry. I’ll be blowing up your phone with man candy.”
“You do that.”
While I was squeezing through all the twerking, staggering bodies on my way to the front door I locked eyes with Derek Gentry for half a second. He stared, displayed not a shred of recognition, and then shifted his gaze in search of something better to look at.
I was outside on the sidewalk when Sam and Ric caught up with me. I thought they were going to try to tempt me back to the party but instead Ric suggested hanging out at their apartment for a while. I felt guilty for spoiling their night but they denied that they ever planned on doing anything but leaving the party early and getting a good night’s sleep so they could get on the road to Havasu at 6 a.m. We sat on their pink suede couch, watched Top Gun until the sweaty volleyball scene and then I really did head home with the intention of keeping that long awaited date with my pillow.
My friends waved to me from their balcony and my stomach rumbled, reminding me that all I’d eaten on my dinner break at Esposito’s was a garlic knot and a mozzarella stick. It was late for a meal but consuming handfuls of cheese pretzels and Red Vines sounded divine. There had to be a convenience store on the way home. I’d stop at the first one I saw.
Before I closed my car door I listened and heard the vague music from the party. I wondered if it was still going strong and how many hookups and heartbreaks were on the horizon. For a few seconds a feeling of loneliness consumed me. Then I shut the door and started the engine.
I wasn’t missing anything. Great stories never began at wild college parties.
Chapter Two
Derek
When Kellan finally finished jerking off in the shower he found me leaning against the kitchen counter while stuffing a bean and cheese burrito in my mouth with one hand.
“Where’s mine?” he demanded, adjusting his towel and shaking the water from his head.
I shoved the last of the burrito into my mouth and took my time chewing.
“Didn’t get you one,” I finally said and received a scowl from my brother. Funny how when Kel scowled he looked just like the temperamental five-year-old he’d once been, pitching a foot-stomping fit when he was denied a second dessert after dinner.
I waited as he huffed and puffed and searched the fridge for something edible, then I finally withdrew the paper bag from the counter behind my back and tossed it at him.
“Don’t choke on it,” I said.
He cheered up and peered into the bag. “You picked up some hot sauce packets, right?”
“You’re pushing it, kid.”
“Thanks for the snack.” Kel grinned at me, unwrapped the burrito and gobbled it up while leaning against the counter beside me. He waited until he was finished to lick his fingers and then made a face.
“Did you just come from working at the garage?” he asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because you fucking stink,” he said and started to walk away.
Well, if my little brother thought I was going to put up with that then he’d clearly forgotten the natural order of things. Someone needed to help him out of his amnesia. It was true that he’d gained on me in the last few years but I was still stronger, especially after I started lifting weights. Kellan yelped when I grabbed him in a headlock.
“Get the fuck off me you brute,” he gasped, trying to wriggle away.
“Brute?” I was indignant as I kept my arm around his neck. “Is that the best you got? Smart guy like you?”
Containing him wasn’t easy and we crashed into the fridge. If we were at home our mother would have busted in here, howling at us to knock off the bullshit. But we were miles from home and in our own apartment so if we wanted to kick each other around there was nobody to object and if we happened to rip the refrigerator door off the hinges then so be it. Kellan wouldn’t relent and we were locked in a full scale gladiator match. But then he lost his towel and I was so grossed out that I let him go.
“Dickhead,” he grumbled, inspecting the damage to the fridge door.
I kicked the towel in his direction. “Speaking of dicks, do something about that.”
Kellan made no move to resolve his state of nudity. While he was fussing with the fridge door he noticed something inside. “Well fuck me, I forgot I had a slice of pizza in here.”
“It’s been there for at least two weeks,” I said, snatching one of the square brown napkins that had been packed with my burrito and handing it to him.
He was confused. “What’s this for?”
“I told you, I don’t feel like looking at your dick.”
“And you expect me to solve that problem with a tiny napkin?”
“Sure. It’s the perfect size.”
“Screw you,” he grumbled but he did retrieve his towel from the floor and wrapped it around his waist before sniffing himself. “Shit, I smell as bad as you now. I’m going to have to shower again before I go.”
“Go where?”
“Some party over in the G section. Nothing special. The girlfriend of a guy who lives there told me about it when I stopped by the mailboxes earlier but I’m sure I’ll know plenty of people there.” He paused and raised an eyebrow at me. “You want to come?”
I did. I wanted to come a whole lot even though college parties weren’t generally recommended for struggling alcoholics. I’d already proven that a few times in the last six months.
“Maybe,” I said. Lately I’d been trying to turn these invitations down flat.
“Seriously?” Kel looked surprised. And a little skeptical, as if he was considering whether he should have invited me after all. Once upon a time his suspicions would have annoyed the piss out of me but things were different now. I couldn’t expect my brother to trust me when I didn’t always trust myself.
“I’ll be good this time,” I promised and my brother winced.
“I didn’t mean anything like that, D,” he said quietly. “You know I always want you around.” He cracked a grin. “Even though you’re an obnoxious prick who reeks of armpits and motor oil.”
Kellan wasn’t asking for more reassurances that I wouldn’t get trashed but I wanted to give him one anyway.
“Check this out.” I dug around in my back packet and tossed a coin on the counter. “Went to a meeting on my lunch hour. Sixty days sober.”
Kellan stared at the coin and I wondered if he was tempted to say something sarcastic, something like, “And how many of those do you already have?” After all, we had cultivated a lifelong tradition of hassling each other over everything. The fact that he didn’t make a smartass comment was proof that certain topics were now off limits. Kellan wanted me to stay sober almost as much as I did.
Instead of busting my chops, Kellan gave me a proud grin and said, “Good job.”
I stuck the coin in a drawer, feeling embarrassed that my little brother was praising me for not getting drunk. “Thanks.”
“So how about that party?” he asked. “You coming?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I guess I could come out for a little while.”
Kellan insisted on taking on a second shower before giving me a turn and I didn’t argue. At least he left me some hot water. A little scrubbing was always required to get the grease off my skin after working all day at the Brothers Gentry garage owned by my uncles. I liked the job and I was grateful that Conway and Stone wanted me as an employee. Conway told me I had a gift for mechanics and I didn’t know if that was true but I appreciated the long days. They kept my mind and hands busy and gave me the opportunity to put away some extra money. Any cash I could spare after rent and food was placed in a separate account. When I had enough I planned to give it to my parents in order to reimburse them for everything they’d spent on my lawyers. The legal fees had to be extensive. I’d asked my dad once how much everything cost but he only shook his head and changed the subject. Now that the worst was over they wanted to forget. But there were some things that could never be made right by time or justice.
I’d served five months in prison for my role in the crash that had claimed a man’s life. It was hard to believe nearly two years had gone by since the accident. I’d gotten off easy. I was drunk and under different circumstances I would have been put away for far longer. But because the other man was drunk too, and because he was also speeding and had run a red light, the lawyer my parents hired found it easy to convince the prosecutor to accept the lesser plea. The one year recommended sentence was even reduced due to the fact that it was my first offense. I finished serving my sentence last spring and I’d been trying to figure out a path forward ever since.
Kellan and I had a plan before everything went to hell. We were going to get an apartment by the university as soon as he graduated from high school. I was already in school but living in the dorms sucked and decent roommates were hard to come by. Kellan was all set to start his freshman year and we were weeks away from moving into our own place when I made a fateful decision.
“You need a ride home later?”
“Nah. I have my car.”
“Which you absolutely shouldn’t be driving if you drank half this damn bottle.”
“Relax, dude. Kellan knows how to drive. I’ll give him the keys.”
Except I didn’t give Kellan the keys. And every day since then I’d thought about that conversation in a hallway outside a wedding reception. One small alteration would have made a difference in so many lives.
Going back to school to learn about economics or sociology after killing a guy, tearing my family apart, and ticking the days off on the inside of a prison cell seemed outrageous. But I couldn’t handle being under my parents’ roof anymore either. Just seeing the worry in their eyes every time they looked my way was crushing. They’d given me nothing but unconditional love and support and as long as I lived I’d never be able to atone for what I’d done to them. Kellan was in school by then and when he asked if I’d rent an apartment with him I’d jumped at the chance, figuring I could start walking down a new road and somehow make up for the past. I hadn’t gotten very far yet.
As I got dressed I had second thoughts about going to the party. My sponsor had cautioned me to avoid temptation if there were any doubts about resisting it. But I was going crazy for some human interaction that didn’t include my brother, the goofy guys at the garage or a somber room full of addicts.
Kellan was dicking around with the Xbox when I returned to the living room and we killed some time playing Warmonger’s Quest. At one point he turned to me and asked if I’d rather just go see a movie or something but I was eager to prove I could handle a night out with my brother like any regular twenty-two-year-old guy.
We finally headed over to the party at ten and I felt my adrenaline quicken as we approached the sound of the music. Kellan shot me one final glance, one last silent offer to change plans, but then the door opened and everything went nuts as we were herded into the apartment. There were people everywhere and some of the prettier ones swarmed around us. For a minute it felt like we’d walked into a surprise party held in our honor. Somehow a cup full of beer landed in my hand and I froze for a few seconds as a deep and familiar craving shot through me. I swallowed hard and battled my own mind as I searched for somewhere to put the thing. At one point I looked up to see some vaguely familiar brunette staring at me. She was cute in a low-key, wholesome kind of way but she wasn’t offering me a place to stick this beer so I kept looking.
Meanwhile, Kel was busy. He already had his arms draped around two girls and one of them held up a phone to snap a selfie. Personally I never understood why people had to plaster so many pictures of themselves all over the place just to prove they were alive but there were a lot of things I didn’t understand.
Since I couldn’t think straight until I did something with this beer I squeezed through the crush of people and ended up in the kitchen. A very tall couple stopped talking and stared at me as I dumped my beer down the sink.
“Allergic,” I explained because discarding your booze in the middle of a party wasn’t a common thing to do.
A girl poked her head into the room. I did a double take because her face was a duplicate of the female half of the tall couple in the kitchen and now I was sure I’d seen them before. A pair of striking looking identical twins was hard to forget.
“We’ve got a runner,” the newcomer said with a sigh.
“Paige took off?” her sister asked, sounding upset.
“I was just leaving to go chase after her,” said the first girl.
“Hold on, I’m coming too.” Twin Number One looked up at her companion. “So maybe I’ll see you up at Havasu this week?”
The tall guy nodded. “Sure thing.”
“Great.” She flashed a brilliant smile. “Good night, Travis.”
The twins disappeared. I tossed my empty cup in the crash and noticed the tall guy was now looking at me with curiosity.
“Is your name Travis?” he wanted to know.
“No,” I admitted.
“Oh.” He snorted. “Neither is mine.”
The guy who was not named Travis exited the kitchen, presumably to locate some company that might want to learn his real name.
All the air conditioning in the world couldn’t do much to cool off an apartment that had two hundred people crammed into it so I sought refuge on the balcony. A few other people had the same idea but I still found a spot at the far end. There was a view of the pool from here and some night swimmers were splashing around. I squinted and thought I caught sight of some tits.
I felt a shift at my right elbow, one body moving and another taking its place.
“Remember me?” said a voice in my ear that was followed by the flick of a tongue against my neck and I knew I was in trouble.
“Heidi,” I said, feeling my stomach drop. Yes, I remembered her well. We met at a scene similar to this one. Another night, another party. The apartment was hers and I’d gotten just buzzed enough to exercise bad judgment. Heidi had a class with Kellan and she’d introduced herself to me two minutes after I walked in. I can’t remember what we talked about but we didn’t talk long before she pulled me into a bathroom. I was
glad to go, my head full of happy noise from the two shots I’d taken, my dick on high alert from being close to a hot girl. We didn’t waste much time kissing and when she started yanking on my zipper I slid a condom on and clumsily fucked her standing up against the wall until some jackass started banging on the door because he needed the toilet. Then I figured since I’d already slipped off the wagon I might as well roll around in the mud so I got totally shit faced on a bottle of vodka that Heidi had hidden from the crowd and fucked her again, this time on her roommate’s bed with the door wide open and people coming in and out. Kellan was at that party too and I could remember him yelling and dragging me home where I puked all over the kitchen floor and then passed out on the couch. The next day I had to reset my sobriety clock and I started a new journey toward the sixty day coin I’d been showing off earlier.
“How have you been?” I asked her, trying to back up a little because my dick was stirring.
She pouted and ran a long pink fingernail along my chest. “I haven’t seen you lately.”
I tried to sound casual but not rude. “Been busy, working hard.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her tight body close, and I stifled a groan of accidental lust.
“It’s too crowded here,” she complained.
I couldn’t exactly shove her away. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to. “It’s pretty packed,” I agreed.
She smiled at me and reached up to nibble at my lower lip. She tasted good, like the honeyed flavor of beer. I wanted to fucking lose myself in that taste.
“All these people,” she whispered, still nibbling with her sweet beer breath. “Let’s keep them a mystery and get reacquainted.”
I could do that. Holy shit, could I do that. Drink and fuck and drink some more and fuck again until I passed out. I wanted it so goddamn bad. I hardly knew this girl and I didn’t even think I liked her. But I could give her the kind of night we both wanted. And then tomorrow I’d be resetting the clock again, tossing my sixty day coin in the trash and explaining to my brother how I’d fucked up once more.
