by Callie Stone
“Great. Thanks, Addy, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Troy smiles, turns and walks back into the restaurant.
Back to his boyfriend.
Why does that statement still bother me so much? Lost in thought, I turn to leave and run into someone’s back. What the hell! I thought as I stepped back and looked up. My breath catches in my throat as I looked into bright green eyes that crinkled at the corners as he stared down at me. Pulling myself out of my stupor I give my head a little shake and take in the rest of him. The man in front of me was tall, at least six foot with short red hair shaved close on the sides with the top left a little long. Stopping at his full plump -wanna suck them now- lips and stare for a second before moving on. I couldn’t tell much under his clothes, but he looked to have a nice firm body. Maybe he worked out.
I feel my face heat up realizing that I am ogling a man I just ran into in front of a restaurant and I still haven’t said a single word. Quickly glancing up into those mesmerizing green eyes again I say a quick sorry and rush off toward my car, not waiting for a response.
What in the world has gotten into me? I have never checked someone out so boldly before in my life. I felt so embarrassed I just wanted to get home and go to bed.
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding once I sunk into the seat of my car. I start my car and head home with the thought that this had been one hell of a night.
✽ ✽ ✽
Waking up the next morning I instantly regretted agreeing to coffee with Troy. Why am I putting myself through all this again? We left things on rather bad terms and I don’t think getting together for dinner or coffee will change how hurt I am. Letting out a small sigh I force myself out of bed. I just want to get it over with. Walking into the bathroom I turn on the water and let my thoughts wander to the dream I had that night. It consisted of amazing green eyes and plump kissable lips. The man I ran into last night was the star of my dream. Only we didn’t stand there and stare at each other. No, he did a lot more than that. Just thinking about it had my face turning hot. Too bad I was so out of it that I didn’t try to have a conversation with him. Even a name would be helpful.
Jumping in the shower I do a quick wash and then get dressed. It’s too early to meet Troy yet so I putter around the house cleaning as I go. I was seriously not looking forward to seeing him again. I can’t understand why he feels the need to see me. It’s done, over with. He has his boyfriend, at least let me move on with my life.
After cleaning everything, which wasn’t much, I let out a sigh and resign myself to seeing him again. Maybe… just maybe this will be the last time and I can finally put all this behind me. I grab my keys and head out to the coffee house.
Pulling into the parking lot I instantly see Troy’s truck. Well, at least he’s on time today. But that also means I have the full hour to deal with him. Checking the clock, I am early by ten minutes and fight with myself on whether to go in now or wait in the car until exactly twelve. I pull out my phone and check my Facebook before giving up and heading inside. If I have any luck at all this won’t take long.
Walking inside I spot Troy at the front corner table. He could see my car from his position, so he knew I was outside trying to stall. Shrugging my shoulders, I head to the table. He’s lucky I’m even meeting him, and after what he did, why should I care if he has to wait a little on me? I slide into the seat across from him and realize he had a coffee waiting for me. I could tell from the smell that it was a white chocolate mocha. He knew me so well, which made my heart hurt. I thought we had a great marriage, well all except the sex, and the whole time it was a lie. Thinking about it makes my heart ache and still gives me the urge to cry.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I say unsure.
“Hey, doing okay. You?”
“Fine, of course.”
“Look I’m sorry about last night. I truly am. I didn’t think it was going to be such a problem. It’s been years since we split, and I guess I thought you would have been over it by now.” Troy looks at me sadly.
That statement almost felt like a slap in the face. Yeah, it’s been years since I left him, but it still hurt to see him, them, together. All the memories we had were all lies, all thrown away like they didn’t matter. Shaking my head at him I’m at a loss for words.
“Look, Troy, I really don’t know what you want me to say here,” I say with more bite than I mean to. Seeing him is bringing up too much shit.
Troy looks shocked at first then quickly recovers. “I just wanted us to have a chance to talk. We left everything on such bad terms last time. You wouldn’t talk to me or be in the same room with me and then bam, you just disappeared. At first, I was mad at the way you left, but I realized I had no right to be mad. What I did was wrong on so many levels it’s not even funny. I get it now. It took me some time, but I really get it.”
“Let’s not go there with all that stuff. I’m certainly not in the mood. What you did was the shittiest thing that’s ever happened to me. Hell, I’ve never heard of a shittier thing happening to anyone and you expect me to just sit here and talk like we’re old friends. You cheated on me our whole relationship. Our whole marriage. It’s not something I can just let go of so easily. And then to bring him with you to dinner last night was a low blow. Like you were trying to shove it in my face or something.” I could feel my temper rising. This wasn’t going to end well.
Troy looked surprised and could only stare at me. Finally getting his bearings back he says, “My intention was never to shove it in your face. I just figured since it was out and had been so long that you wouldn’t mind. You have always been the most understanding and kind woman I have ever known, and I thought, well hoped, you had come around by now. I know being gay is a shock to you and that I hurt you, but I didn’t mean to. Please believe me when I say that.” He looked at me earnestly.
“Why the hell did you even marry me, Troy? I just don’t get it.” I ask, curious about his answer.
Troy lets out a long sigh. “You were my best friend and I was joining the military. I was afraid of moving away, to a new place, without you. I wanted you by my side. I know what I did was wrong, and I should have just told you the truth, but I was scared what you would say or do.”
“I kind of get it Troy, but it doesn’t make things any easier for me. You were my best friend too, but I was also in love with you. I thought we would have a family one day and everything just got ripped out of my hands in one single moment. No, here I am starting over without anyone to help me. You used me Troy, and it wasn’t fair to me at all.”
“I know. I can never express how sorry I am.”
I was unable to accept his apology. It still wasn’t right what he did and unfair to me and a simple sorry wasn’t going to fix it. “So why did you want to see me?” I asked.
“I miss you…”
Holding up a hand I interrupt him before he can finish. “Don’t start with that Troy.”
“Okay. Sorry. I just wanted to see you and see how you’re doing. I was worried after you left but didn’t want to bother you knowing you needed space.”
Hell, I still needed space.
“I told my parents that I’m gay. I also brought Lucas to meet them. I thought they would have been more shocked than they were. They said they always knew I was gay and the real shock was when I married you,” he says, sheepishly.
“Wow, thanks for that. So glad your family had such high hopes for our marriage. I wish they would have told me before we got married. Hell, what am I saying… You should have told me before we got married,” I say as I shake my head at him.
“I know Addy. You don’t have to keep throwing it up at me. I know I was wrong. I know I did you wrong by leading you on and lying to you. I understand all this, and I feel like shit about it.” Troy sighs as he looks down at his coffee.
“You deserve to feel like shit after what you did. You know it wasn’t bad enough that you were cheating, but then you had to bring your boyfriend to our house a
nd flaunt him around in front of me. I admit I was naive and thought y’all were just friends, but seriously Troy. You brought him over and hung out while I was there.” A thought comes to me as the last word leaves my mouth. “Oh god, Troy did y’all… did y’all have sex after I went to bed? On the nights he stayed over after drinking, did y’all fuck in the same house I was sleeping in?” My voice starts to rise, and I have to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. Why the hell hadn’t I thought of that before?
Troy looks up at me and I know my answer instantly. His guilty expression makes my gut flip multiple times. I think I’m going to get sick. “You know what, I can’t do this. I can’t take any more of this shit with you. I hope you and Lucas have a great life, but I have to go. Bye,” I say as I stand and walk away.
The guilty look on Troy’s face will haunt me. I can’t believe I was so stupid that whole time. I’ll never understand how I never noticed. I needed to get away.
Getting in my car I start it up and turn the country music up as loud as I can handle. Putting it in drive I make my way towards work. Glancing at the clock that meeting lasted exactly thirty minutes. That was thirty minutes too long. I should have never gone.
Hopefully, this will be the last time I have to see him. He is a part of my life I don’t want to deal with ever again. We all make mistakes in life and I’ve made many, but he tops the list. He’s in the past and needs to stay there.
THE PRESENT
Sometimes you have to go through the bad to get to the good.
It’s funny how life turns out sometimes. When you think things will never go right, that maybe you are meant to be alone or to keep ending up with men that treat you badly. Then one day you wake up and realize the universe sent you the one that is meant to be. The one that you had really been waiting for but never noticed until he was forced into your life. Until he claimed you as his and swore he would never let you go.
I’m still amazed at how my life changed so much. How all the bad finally, finally lead to something perfect. I will forever be thankful.
Chapter Twelve
Walking into work I almost felt a sense of relief. Familiarity is exactly what I needed right now. I didn’t want to think about Troy or my failed marriage. My failed relationship from the very beginning. I needed to leave everything outside and enjoy my day at work. Here’s hoping it works because I didn’t have much hope I’d be able to pull it off.
Once behind the counter I clock in and start putting the shoes up that have started to pile behind the desk, the shoes that no one else will put up. I shake my head at the heap but know it’s exactly what I need. Something that is easy and doesn’t take a lot of thought. I clear my head as I spray disinfectant in each one and put them in their appropriate places. After the last one is done I look around for something else to do something catches the corner of my eye. Glancing up I see the man I never thought I would again. The guy I ran into the night before. The guy that stared in my dreams the night before. Could my day get any worse? My whole body is stuck, I can’t make it move. After staring at him for what felt like minutes but was probably only seconds, my brain finally connects with my legs and I make my way to the register.
My legs feel week and my hands shake. I hold on to the counter to stop the shaking and hold me up in case my legs decide to give out when he talks. “Can I help you?” My voice is a bit high-pitched. My face instantly gets hot.
“Yeah just a pair of shoes, size twelve please.” He smiles at me.
Oh, he sounds so sexy asking for a pair of shoes. I turn and grab the shoes and hand them over concentrating hard to stop the shaking in my hand. Clicking a few keys on the keyboard I look back up. “Two dollars, please.” Thankfully my voice has gone back to normal.
He hands over the two dollars but doesn’t walk away, he stares at me as if waiting for something.
“Is there something else I can help you with?” I ask unsure if I want the answer.
“You’re the lady that bumped into me last night, right?” he asks.
Why today out of all days does this have to happen. Clearing my throat, I say, “Yes, that was me. I’m really sorry about that. I wasn’t paying attention where I was going.”
“No problem. My name is Ryan,” he says as he puts his hand out to shake mine.
He makes me nervous, but I do the polite thing and reach my hand out to shake his while saying my name, hoping he doesn’t know the shaking. As soon as our fingers touch I feel a shock go through my hand making my knees almost buckle. Oh wow. What was that?
“It’s nice to meet you, Addy.”
The way my name rolls off his tongue makes my heart skip a beat. He is undeniably one fine man. But then it hits me… If he’s on base than he’s probably military. I’m not sure I want to date another military man. I think I’ve had my fair share of the military.
“Nice to meet you too Ryan.” I smile at him unsure of what else to do. It was nice to have a name to go with the man I dreamt about. Oh god, the dream. I could feel my face heat, even more, knowing that the blush was rising quickly through my cheeks.
“I hope to see you around,” he says with a smile, turns and walks to his lane where there are a few other guys already bowling.
I give a slight nod of my head and look away. Feeling suddenly shy and not wanting Ryan to see me watching him, I turn my back to the lanes. I feel like a teenager in high school talking to her crush. What the hell was wrong with me? Taking a few deep breaths, I decided to put Ryan out of my mind and get back to work, if that was even possible.
It didn’t work for long. Pretty soon he was consuming my thoughts and I caught myself staring toward their bowling lane a lot. Thankfully, none of them looked up and caught me. Though I wasn’t that dumb to think they didn’t notice. I needed to get a grip. I didn’t even know the guy and I already had a dream about him. Not to mention, he had me acting crazy. I swear I contract down below every time I look at him.
I need to pull myself together and figure out what it was about this man that had me acting goofy. What made him so different?
Needing to focus on something else I grab the book I recently started. Work is relatively slow and as long as I keep an eye on everything, I can get a few pages read. I open to my bookmark and let my brain be consumed with the story instead of the sexy man bowling a few feet away.
After reading two chapters I put it away and start cleaning. The more I get done during my shift the less I have to do at the end. I like to get out of here as fast as possible. Which really doesn’t make sense considering I have nothing to rush home to. Letting out a sigh I grab the table cleanser and a rag and make my way from one end of the bowling center to the other wiping tables. Now I just have to hope no one comes in and makes a mess. You’d be surprised how many grown adults can act like two-year-olds.
Shaking my head, I walk back to the front at the same time Ryan and his friends walk up. Holding my breath, I walk past them and around the counter storing the cleaning supplies on the shelf, I wipe my hands on my pants and step up to the register. Clicking a few buttons, I look up and focus on one of the other guys Ryan was here with.
“Your total is thirty dollars.” I plaster a smile on my face and try not to fidget. I can feel Ryan’s eyes on me as I continue to stare at his friend. I watch as everyone puts money together on the counter before picking it up and counting. “Thank you! Hope you have a good day!” I say as I turn my attention back to the register with the hope they will all just leave together.
I think I’m in the clear as I close my register but looking up I am shocked to see Ryan still standing there watching me just a few feet away. Why the hell is he still here? Hell, why is he staring at me like that? Clearing my throat, I plaster on my smile and ask, “Anything else you need?” A part of me wanted him to say no and leave but another part wanted to talk to him and try to figure out what had me so drawn to him.
“I was wondering if you were going to acknowledge me or not. I was beginning to think you w
ere ignoring me on purpose.” Ryan grins while taking a step forward.
“Why would I ignore you? I don’t even know you,” I say worried where the hell this was going.
“Sure, you do. You know my name and how your face feels against my back,” he says obviously trying to hold his laugh in.
I’m stunned silent at first but quickly start to laugh nodding my head. “That is true. Though from my recollection it didn’t feel very well to have my face on your back. Almost like running into a wall. Wasn’t pleasant at all,” I say as I give him a wink. Why am I flirting with this man?
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he says rubbing his chin and looking like he’s thinking about something. “Maybe next time it won’t be so bad.” He winks back at me while setting a piece of paper on the counter in front of me. “Have a good night, Addy.” Ryan flashes me a smile before exiting through the door.
What the hell does he mean next time won’t be so bad? I slowly pick up the piece of paper and open it. His phone number. I should have expected that. Slipping the paper in my back pocket I get back to work as I debate if I’ll ever use the number.
Getting home I throw the number on the counter deciding not to even bother with that again. Last time I got a number this way I ended up in a relationship that ended very badly. It wasn’t worth my time or energy to go through all that again. If I don’t text or call he will get the picture and I won’t have to deal with him anymore.
Boy how wrong I was. For the next week, Ryan made it a point to show up at my work. Every single day. Some days he would stand at the counter and attempt a conversation with me, even though I tried very hard to ignore him. Other days he would go to the snack bar and eat dinner, watching my every move. I had mixed emotions, it was unnerving but kind of sweet at the same time and every day it seemed to switch between the two.
