by Callie Stone
Ryan glances up at me and I quickly look away.
Why is he still here? Why even bother with all of this? If this is some kind of apology it’s not going to work. I admit I’m hungry, but I’m not in the mood to play into whatever he’s playing at, once he’s done dishing out the food I reach down and grab my plate and beer. I sit back and get comfortable with my legs tucked underneath me. I place my beer on the side table and dig in.
I hear Ryan chuckle and ignore him. I keep telling myself I wish he would have left but the more I look around the room the more those words have no conviction.
Ryan comes around the coffee table and sits on the edge of the couch leaning over the coffee table to eat. It’s silent. I watch as the flames flicker in all the candles. They are hypnotizing and my eyes dart from one to the other taking in the peace of the room. Every so often my eyes glance at Ryan and see him looking back at me, watching me after every bite of food.
What is his plan, his game? I admit I’m curious.
Still pissed off but deciding to be nice I say, “Thank you for dinner. It’s delicious.” I refuse to look at him and continue to eat as I stare at the candles.
“You’re welcome. Are you still mad at me?” he asks seemingly genuinely concerned.
“You’re damn straight.” I snap without hesitation feeling a little bad for it but not sure why. “You didn’t have candles when you came in. Where did they come from?”
“I ran to the store while you were in the tub. I wanted to do something special for you.” He shoots me a small smile knowing he did something good.
“Thank you for them too,” I say unsure of what else to say.
“You’re welcome. Are you ready to be nice to me yet?” Ryan smirks. “I’m not leaving so the cold shoulder isn’t going to work. I’m here and you’re going to have to deal with it.”
“Why? We’ve spent one night together, and you act like we’ve dated for months. News flash, we haven’t. I barely know you so why are you so insistent on being here?” I spat out at him my anger boiling over again.
“You’re right, we don’t know each other. But that day I looked into your eyes at the restaurant, the next day when you shook my hand and looked at me, my heart began to race and squeeze at the same time. It is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world,” he says shaking his head as if remembering how it felt. “I knew in that instant that I had to have you, I needed you in my life. I am no caveman, but I had the urge to claim you as mine.” He lets out a breathless laugh.
“I have no idea what came over me, but I knew I would stop at nothing to be with you and that’s what I did.” He meets my eyes. “If there is a chance of something happening between us then I’m going to make sure it happens.”
“Should have thought about that before reading my very personal journal.” I interrupt him.
“You’re right. I probably shouldn’t have read the whole thing, but I needed to know about you, your life. I needed to know what pain you’ve been through. The last thing I want to do is piss you off or hurt your feelings, but I feel completely consumed by you. Believe me, it’s not something I’m used to. I told you before, it’s been forever since I’ve dated anyone, I haven’t had the urge to. But then you come along, and my world is flipped upside down.” He slowly shakes his head again as he looks down at his hands.
“What I did here, all this was because I knew from your journal that no one, not a single one of those other men treated you the way you deserved. You should be treated like a princess with constant surprises like this one, and the flowers at work. This should be your life, walking out of the bathroom to a room lit up by beautiful candles and a dinner ready for you.” He sweeps his hand across the room.
I feel tears well up in my eyes as I listen to him. He was wrong for what he did but how long can I be mad at him? Everything in the journal are things he would have eventually learned if we did have a relationship. And now he’s telling me that he’s not going anywhere. So, he made it a little easier for me by reading the journal, now I don’t have to go through the pain of telling it to him. Though there were a lot of very personal things in there. A lot about Troy and just about my whole relationship with Danny. Am I really okay with him knowing all that information about my relationship with the man I thought was my soulmate? Not to mention he read about the last time I saw him and his wife. The feelings I had about the situation.
I feel the tears roll down my face so unsure of what the hell is going on in my life. “The flowers were perfect, and this room is an amazing surprise. Thank you for both.” I swipe at my face as I continue to look around.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby,” Ryan says as he cautiously scoots closer to me as if coming near a wild animal. Unsure of what I might do since I’m pissed off and crying. “This is what you deserve. This is what I want to give you, I want to treat you like the amazing woman that you are. I want you to feel special every chance that I get.” He reaches up and swipes a piece of hair away from my face before wiping a tear from my cheek.
I lean my head into his hand. “I halfway forgive you. It will take me some time to fully forgive,” I whisper as I look up into his eyes.
He gives me a hesitant smile before removing my plate from my hands, setting it down he then grabs me and moves me to his lap. I shove my face into his neck taking in his scent.
Ryan rubs my back up and down as he kisses me on the head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I shake my head against him as I pull myself together. Sitting up I wipe the tears away as I look into his eyes. “What is wrong with you?” I ask seriously.
“What do you mean?” He looks puzzled.
“You are too good. There has to be something wrong with you, some kind of flaw. Are you a criminal? Are you the type to woo women and then rip their hearts out? What is your flaw?”
Ryan laughs. “What the hell is going on in your head? No to the criminal…” he rubs his chin in thought, “though that could change the next time I see Troy, Adam or a few of the others from your past. And no to ripping hearts out. This is just who I am.”
“Then why are you single? Why haven’t you been snatched up by someone?” I ask curiously.
Ryan’s face turns serious. “I was married once, like you. And like you, my wife wasn’t in it for the long haul. Thankfully, she wasn’t gay, though, I think that would have made it easier for me. But she didn’t take her vows seriously. She didn’t honor me. I thought she was my one and only.” Ryan leans back against the couch staring off into the distance. “Everything was good for a couple years and then I seemed to see less and less of her at home. She never wanted to go out, never wanted to spend time with me at all. Finally, I caught her at our house in my bed with another man.
“I could have lost my shit that day. I could have been a criminal if I had let my anger get the best of me. But my anger was not towards the man, it was towards her, Tina. And I was raised that you never hit a woman, even though every inch of my being wanted to, I turned and walked out of the house and never went back.”
I sit and listen enthralled to get a piece into his past. Since he knows so much about mine, it is only fair, right?
Ryan continues. “I waited the mandatory year for North Carolina and then sent her divorce papers. I didn’t want anything that would remind me of her or what she did. So, I made a deal with her, she got the house and everything in it, I got my business. She quickly agreed, and the papers were signed and filed.
“I’ve seen her one time since then and she was pregnant. I don’t even know if it was with the same guy. We both respectfully ignored each other and kept going our separate ways. I’d be happy if I never had to see her again, to tell the truth.”
“Now you know my past, know my hidden secret. Not as colorful as yours but not that different. We both chose a different way to handle things, you tried to date again with quite a few one-night stands,” he says giving me a pointed look. “I decided to focus on my business.
It’s not that I didn’t want to date, I just never found anyone that I was interested in, until you ran into my back.” He smirks at me.
I release a little laugh. “That was quite embarrassing for me,” I say shaking my head.
“I know, but it was the best night of my life, the moment I looked into your eyes. You walked away, and I feared I would never see you again. That is until one of the guys I was with said he recognized you from the bowling alley. They bowl there at least once a week and I normally never go, but after he said that, I made sure to show up the next time which just happened to be the next day. I couldn’t believe my luck and last night…” Ryan sits up wrapping his hands around my face he forces me to look up into his eyes. “Last night I felt like the luckiest man in the world,” he says before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine in a soft sweet kiss.
“Now that I told you my painful past, will you forgive me?” He looks at me earnestly.
I sigh. “The difference is that book had a lot of personal feelings in it. You read things I would never tell anyone. That’s a big invasion of privacy.”
“You’re right and again I’m sorry but I had to know more about you. I promise nothing I read in that book means anything to me. It won’t affect us at all. But you won’t get to use that as an excuse to kick me out of your life. No joke, I’m not going anywhere so get used to it.”
“What do I get if I forgive you?” I ask jokingly trying to lighten the mood a little. I want to forgive him, a big part of me does but I’m still a little hurt.
Wrapping his arms around me he stands causing me to squeal and wrap myself around him. He steps around the coffee table and kneels to the floor laying me on my back, then Ryan leans back on his heels and looks down at me.
I notice then that he had laid blankets and pillows out. He must have been certain I would forgive him too, to set this up. Shaking my head, I smirk up at him. “Boy you had everything planned out, didn’t you? What would have happened if I didn’t forgive you?”
Sighing Ryan locks eyes with me. “Well, I guess I would have been sleeping out here on this pallet instead of next to you in bed. But I still wouldn’t have left.”
“Are you planning on sleeping here every night? Don’t you think that’s a little fast?” I ask nervously. Do I want him here every night? Do I want to go a night without him? This is moving at a speed I’m not used to. I’m not even sure my brain can keep up with the mixed feelings of everything going on at once.
“I plan on sleeping wherever you are. Yeah, it’s probably moving fast but we are adults and I really don’t give a shit. After waking up next to you this morning I spent every second of my day thinking about you. I got absolutely no fucking work done today. I don’t want to wake up without you next to me. I don’t want to go a day without seeing you. Is that so bad? Is it bad that I know what I want and don’t want to waste time?” He asks staring down at me.
I shrug my shoulders. “I guess not. But I’m unsure of how I feel about all this. This feels a bit much for me,” I say softly scared of hurting this big man’s feelings which seems crazy now that I think about it.
“Tell me what you felt that first day you saw me?”
“I don’t have to, you read my damn journal,” I snap and regret it instantly.
“Yeah, I did, but I want to hear it from you. I want to hear the words leave that sexy smart-ass mouth of yours.”
Feeling instantly shy I shake my head. “You’re putting me on the spot. I don’t think I can.”
Ryan leans over me and kisses my forehead then my nose ending with a swift kiss on my lips. Sitting back on his heels again he removes his shirt setting it on the floor next to him. “Tell me,” he whispers huskily.
“I don’t understand why you want me to do this. It’s ridiculous.”
With one finger he reaches up and rubs over my nipple through my shirt and sports bra. It puckers, and my heart rate picks up. When he is satisfied with his work he moves on to the other one and does the same thing. I want to clamp my thighs together, but I can’t because he’s sitting between them.
I start to pant, watching him for his next move.
“Tell me.” He watches his hand as it moves slowly down the middle of my stomach.
“Nope. Not going to happen,” I whisper watching his face as he continues to move his hand. Once he reaches my pants he runs his finger straight down between my legs causing me to gasp. He moves his finger back up and then down again.
“Why not?” he asks still watching his hand as one finger moves slowly up and down over my clit.
“Because you already know. There is no point in me repeating myself.” I try to keep my eyes open and, on his face, but the more he moves that finger up and down the harder it is. I release a moan as he adds just a little more pressure. He is trying to drive me nuts. Playing a game to get me to cave, but it’s not going to work.
Standing up quickly, Ryan unsnaps his jeans and quickly kicks them and his boxers off at the same time. Standing in my room fully naked with the candlelight making shadows on his body. My mouth drops open and goes dry, unable to look away. He truly is a gorgeous man. My eyes run hungrily down his body and end on his cock standing at full attention.
Ryan kneels back between my legs. I prop myself up on my elbows, so I can still look at him. I watch as he grabs hold of it and slowly moves his hand up and down. He takes his other hand and returns to the delicious torture he had started earlier. I release a long soft moan.
“Why are you teasing me?”
“Am I teasing you? he asks with a cocky grin. “When you tell me what I want to hear I will do anything you want.” He glances up at me and then back to his hand.
Should I play this game or just go to bed? After everything that happened and it being so late I’m not sure I’m up for games tonight. I glance at the clock noticing it’s almost one in the morning. Releasing a sigh, I ask, “And what if I don’t? Are you planning on doing this all night?”
“Oh, you will. Just wait and see.” Ryan leans down and lifts my shirt up placing soft kisses along my pant line. He gets to my hip and bites it softly.
I fall back and moan lifting my hips to his mouth. I won’t make it through much more. I need to decide, play or go to bed.
Ryan bites the other hip and slowly moves up my stomach alternating between biting, kissing and licking. I am going to lose my mind if he keeps this up. With every kiss, the chances of me getting up and walking away get slimmer. Releasing another sigh, I give in.
“Fine. You win. The first time I saw you, looked into your eyes…”
Ryan continues to kiss his way all over my stomach. Every time he moves higher I can feel the tip of him at my entrance.
“Ugh, you have got to stop. I can’t think while you’re doing that.”
“Too bad. I’m not stopping so do your best. I like seeing you flustered like this.”
“Damn you.” I moan as he bites my side. “When I looked into your eyes I felt like you were the one. I had thought someone else was my soulmate before but when our eyes met my heart went crazy, it took hours for it to calm down. I knew I wanted you but for other reasons, I high-tailed it out of there.”
“Good. Now tell me about that dream.”
“Oh no, the deal was how I felt when I first saw you.”
Taking my hands, he pulls me up to sitting and grabs my shirt, he pulls it over my head placing it on the floor. He runs both thumbs over my nipples before grabbing my sports bra and lifts that off too, lightly he pushes me back down on my back. He leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth sucking hard before giving it a soft nibble. His dick pushing at my entrance again through my pants.
Moaning and panting I try to concentrate on words. “What the hell are you trying to do to me?” I ask curiously.
“I just admitted a hell of a lot of feelings to you and I want you to do the same. I know I read the journal, but I want, no, I need to hear it come from you.”
I hadn’t thought
about that. “Okay,” I whisper. “The dream was about you and only you. I dreamt of your body of your dick. It was all about you gloriously naked for my pleasure.”
“And the next day at work.”
Ugh. He’s going to kill me. I try to gyrate my hips against him as he moves on to my other nipple. Fuck me. If he keeps going I might just orgasm before he enters me. “Um. Right. At work, I was completely shocked when I looked up and you were standing there. It took my breath away and my heart stopped beating. When our hands met I wanted to whimper, they were so soft my first thought was having them all over my body.”
“Like this?” he asks as he slowly moves his hands from my shoulders down my breast, belly to my pants.
I moan. “Yes, just like that.”
“What else?” he asks as he slips two fingers into my pants.
I look up at him and raise an eyebrow. “Take off my pants and I might tell you,” I say with a grin.
“Hmm,” he says with his finger on his chin looking up thinking. “I suppose I can do that.” He looks down with a smile and slowly pulls my pants down my legs still leaving my panties on.
I pout. “You forgot something.”
“Oh no, I didn’t. You said pants, nothing about your panties though,” he says as he rubs his finger over my clit.
“Mmmm. That feels so good.” I moan out. “Don’t you think that’s enough? Can you stop teasing me now?”
“Oh no, not enough at all. I want to hear the rest.”
I give him a death glare as I stick my tongue out at him. “Fine, be a damn tease. But if you want to hear the rest you have to stop touching me. That’s the only way I will finish.”
“If that’s how you want it,” he says and removes his hands from me laying them on his thighs as he waits.
I instantly miss the contact and regret telling him that. But maybe I can get back at him somehow. I move my hands up to my nipples and start rubbing them pinching every so often. Ryan’s eyes snap to my hands and I think I hear a low growl come from him. Smiling inside I continue. “After you walked away from the counter I watched you for longer than I probably should have.” I move my hands slowly down my breasts to my belly and draw little circles all around. Ryan’s eyes still on my hands.
