He was her man, but he was a jerk.
LOLA keeps a smile for the audience, but she has forgotten the lyrics. She is making it up as she goes.
LOLA (SINGS)
He was in a hotel with Nelly Bly,
and the gun went rooty-toot-toot
Shot the bastard in the heart
And ruined his nice suit.
He was her man but he was no damn good.
CUT TO:
72 INT. BACKSTAGE—SAME TIME
The STAGE MANAGER’s desk.
STAGE MANAGER
Is that how this song goes?
GK
Sort of, yeah.
RHONDA
She always was creative, you know.
YOLANDA
Should I run out there with the lyrics?
RHONDA
Are you kidding? I like it better this way.
CUT TO:
73 INT. FITZGERALD THEATER—SAME TIME
LOLA (SINGS)
They took him up to the graveyard,
And stuck him in the dirt
Which was very sad
And the waste of a nice clean shirt.
He was her man but he was doing her wrong.
LOLA turns to the BAND as they play a turnaround.
LOLA
What’s the next line?
BANDLEADER
No idea.
She turns back to the microphone.
LOLA
He had no idea what happened,
He was waving hello to God.
He died from eating squirrels,
And they laid him in the sod.
He was her man, and he was doing her wrong.
LOLA turns as the BAND plays a turnaround, and MOLLY sidles up next to her.
MOLLY Cool song. Wind it up.
GK moseys out to the announcer’s podium.
LOLA (SINGS)
That was Frankie and Johnny
And that’s the end of my song.
She put a hose in his tailpipe
Cause he had done her wrong
He was her man, and that’s all she wrote.
LOLA howls the repeated last line of the song, in the style of YOLANDA and RHONDA in “Go Tell Aunt Gladys,” as the audience erupts in applause.
GK
There’s a young woman who’s going
places—Miss Lola Johnson! And we’re going
places, too. We’re out of here!
The BAND strikes up “Red River Valley” under him.
GK
Remember to keep your feet on the ground,
your hopes up high, pray for rain, keep the
humor dry, and eat those Powdermilk
Biscuits.
LOLA is joined onstage by JEARLYN, DUSTY, LEFTY, and other performers.
74 INT. LOBBY OF THEATER—SAME TIME
The DANGEROUS WOMAN walks slowly along the inner lobby toward the door to the sound booth. She opens the door and steps in. The AXEMAN doesn’t turn to look. She stands behind him and to the side. Through the big glass window we see GK and LOLA onstage.
DANGEROUS WOMAN
Show’s over.
AXEMAN
You’re right about that. Nice perfume. Who
you with? The show?
DANGEROUS WOMAN
I used to listen to this show every week.
AXEMAN
Hey, it was great at one time. But—time’s up.
Life moves on.
DANGEROUS WOMAN
It does. So be careful driving tonight.
AXEMAN
You need a lift somewhere?
DANGEROUS WOMAN
There’s a shortcut to the airport. A steep hill
and a series of sharp curves and a large oak
tree.
AXEMAN
What’s your name?
DANGEROUS WOMAN
Asphodel.
AXEMAN
Beautiful name.
DANGEROUS WOMAN
I listened to them on the radio, they were all
like friends of mine.
AXEMAN
How about me? When do I get my chance?
DANGEROUS WOMAN
Soon.
AXEMAN
How do I find you?
DANGEROUS WOMAN
I’ll be right there.
CUT TO:
75 INT. BACKSTAGE—MOMENTS LATER
STAGE MANAGER and MOLLY at the backstage desk.
STAGE MANAGER
Two minutes and you and I can go out and
look for new jobs.
MOLLY
Something in the field of adult corrections,
maybe.
CUT TO:
76 INT. STAGE—CONTINUOUS
GK (SINGS)
From this valley they say you are going;
We will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile,
For they say you are taking the sunshine,
Which has brightened our pathway awhile.
ALL (SING)
Come and sit by my side if you love me,
Do not hasten to bid me adieu,
But remember the Red River Valley
And the one who has loved you so true.
LOLA (SINGS)
Won’t you think of the valley you’re leaving?
Oh how lonely, how sad it will be,
Oh think of the fond heart you’re breaking,
And the grief you are causing to me.
CUT TO:
77 EXT. FITZGERALD THEATER—NIGHT
The black car sits at the curb. The AXEMAN stands by the open rear door, beckoning, smiling.
The DANGEROUS WOMAN, standing in the doorway of the theater, smiles, and waves to the off-camera AXEMAN, declining his offer.
ALL (SING O.C.)
Come and sit by my side if you love me,
Do not hasten to bid me adieu,
But remember the Red River Valley
And the one who has loved you so true.
GUY NOIR (V.O.)
And that was the end of it. Everybody took a
big bow and the curtain came down. And the
Johnson Girls came out for a bow. And that
was it. So long and good-bye.
CUT TO:
77A FITZGERALD THEATER—SAME TIME
Curtain descends the last few inches. Band is playing “Red River Valley.” YOLANDA and RHONDA slip out through the curtain into the spotlight and smile in the applause and bow and then retreat.
GUY NOIR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Except that Lola, who had just made her
debut by murdering Frankie and Johnny,
decided to do an encore.
CUT TO:
78 INT. FITZGERALD STAGE—SAME TIME
LOLA and JEARLYN onstage. They dance, lightly, in position, in tempo, as the gospel piano strikes up “In the Sweet Bye and Bye,” a slow jazz beat.
LOLA & JEARLYN
In the sweet
Bye and bye
We shall meet on that beautiful shore.
In the sweet
Bye and bye
We shall meet on that beautiful shore.
There’s a land that is fairer than day
And by faith we can see it afar
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there.
CUT TO:
79 EXT. FRONT OF FITZGERALD—SAME TIME
The black car waits at the curb. The AXEMAN looks toward the off-camera theater, then leans down to talk through the open rear door to the driver.
AXEMAN
How long is the ride to the airport?
CHAUFFEUR (O.C.)
Twenty minutes.
AXEMAN
She said there’s a shortcut.
CHAUFFEUR (O.C.)
Yes, sir—
AXEMAN
I want to get out of here tonight.
The AXEMAN turns back toward the theater and then climbs in. The black car pulls away, the near rear
window rolled down, the DANGEROUS WOMAN in the backseat.
CUT TO:
80 EXT. ST. PAUL STREET—NIGHT
Traffic passes. The old white limestone Assumption church on 7th Street. A few pedestrians pass.
LOLA & JEARLYN (SING O.C.)
To our bountiful Father above
We will offer a tribute of praise
For the glorious gift of his love
And the blessings that hallow our days.
The camera swings slowly around to Mickey’s Diner.
LOLA & JEARLYN (SING)
In the sweet
Bye and bye
We shall meet on that beautiful shore
In the sweet
Bye and bye
We shall meet on that beautiful shore.
GUY NOIR (V.O.)
That was the last we saw of him. The car hit
the tree and blew up. Good-bye, Axeman.
81 INT. FITZGERALD THEATER STAGE—LATER
GUY NOIR sits at the piano, playing, a cigarette in an ashtray beside the keyboard, smoke curling up. The piano lid is down and the head of F. Scott Fitzgerald stands on it, facing GUY NOIR. Stagehands are moving the Prairie Home set to the side and taking it apart. Most of the rest of the stage has been cleared, but stagehands are still clearing away the drum kit and monitors and other gear.
GUY NOIR
But it didn’t change a thing. They sang
“Sweet Bye and Bye” and the audience filed
out and everybody packed up and left and
fifteen minutes later the demolition guys
were drilling holes for the explosives.
It’s just like you learned in eighth-grade
English. . . .
(HE SINGS)
So gather rosebuds, while ye may,
For time is still a-flying,
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
A STAGEHAND stands beside him. GUY NOIR looks up. The STAGEHAND puts his hand on the piano. Two other STAGEHANDS stand at the other end. GUY NOIR nods, stands, picks up Fitzgerald, cradles him in his arm . . .
GUY NOIR (TO STATUE)
Come on, pal. Let me buy you a drink.
. . . and walks away, as the STAGEHANDS move the piano in
the opposite direction.
CUT TO:
82 INT. MICKEY’S DINER—NIGHT, A FEW YEARS LATER
A young couple sits at the counter, and an old man a few stools away. Behind the counter, the COUNTERMAN, his back to the camera, pours butter on the grill and tosses on a handful of raw hash browns, and cracks four eggs. He turns to face us. It is the STAGE MANAGER. He looks down the counter toward the waitress who is standing at the cash register, writing in her pad of checks. She is DONNA, the makeup lady.
DONNA
Two scrambled with O’Brien and two to the side with a strip. Double down.
STAGE MANAGER
Two scrambled? I thought you said two up.
DONNA
Scrambled. And two to the side with a strip.
He sighs and turns back to the grill and slaps down a couple strips of bacon and cracks two eggs into a mixing bowl to stir it up.
The door opens and GK, YOLANDA, RHONDA, and GUY NOIR enter, folding an umbrella. The women take off their scarves and fluff out their hair, the men hang up their coats.
GUY NOIR (TO DONNA)
Hey, how’s it going? You’re looking good.
DONNA
How come you never told me that back when
I looked good?
She nods toward a rear booth. They file past her. GUY NOIR and GK sit side by side on one side, YOLANDA and RHONDA on the other. DONNA passes out cups and saucers and pours four cups of coffee.
YOLANDA
So we’re talking about doing a Farewell Tour.
GUY NOIR
Who?
RHONDA
The old gang from the radio show.
GK
Why? The show’s over. Been over for years.
GUY NOIR
Who cares?
YOLANDA
I always wanted to do a Farewell Tour. I
loved that last show. I want to do one last
show after another until I’m in a wheelchair
and then keep doing them. As long as I can
still remember the words.
RHONDA
All sorts of towns we never played—
Gooseberry Falls, Lake Winnebigoshish.
There are people in Lake Winnebigoshish
waiting to see us.
GUY NOIR
Well, don’t count on me. I got a lot of stuff
going on.
RHONDA
What?
GUY NOIR
Things in the works. Different deals I’m
working out. I’m going to be in and out of
town a lot. The big boys got me jumping.
RHONDA
Doing what?
GUY NOIR
I can’t go into all the details.
YOLANDA JOHNSON (TO GK)
How about you?
GK
Fine. I’m just working at the parking ramp.
Free anytime you want me.
RHONDA
The parking ramp??
GK
It’s not bad. You get to read a lot.
DONNA approaches.
DONNA
What can I get you?
They look up at her and beyond at the menu on the wall.
CUT TO:
83 EXT. OUTSIDE MICKEY’S DINER—SAME NIGHT
DUSTY and LEFTY cross the street and pass the DANGEROUS WOMAN, who is standing on the corner. She turns to watch them walking away.
DUSTY
Did she say something to me?
LEFTY
You??!!! She was looking at me.
DUSTY
Why would she look at you and say my
name?
LEFTY
She was saying, Damn but that is one good-looking
man.
DUSTY
Let’s get some grub.
DUSTY heads into Mickey’s Diner. LEFTY looks over his shoulder at the DANGEROUS WOMAN and follows him into the diner.
CUT TO:
84 INT. MICKEY’S DINER—SAME TIME
DUSTY enters, removes his wet coat and hat, then LEFTY does likewise.
DUSTY
Hey. Long time no see.
RHONDA, YOLANDA, GUY NOIR, and GK all turn to look at DUSTY as he walks up, then LEFTY.
GUY NOIR
Well, look who came in off the lone prairie. I
thought you left town ahead of the sheriff.
DUSTY
The woman decided not to press charges.
RHONDA
What was the crime? Snoring?
DUSTY
Breach of promise.
LEFTY
We just got back to town from playing
casinos in South Dakota.
RHONDA
Playing what? Pinochle?
LEFTY
Playing our music.
DUSTY
We heard you were getting up a tour.
LEFTY
We’ve added rope tricks to the repertoire.
DUSTY
Flaming lariats.
LEFTY
It’s called Rings of Fire.
YOLANDA
We’ve got a bus with bunk beds and we’re
going back to playing schools and churches.
The STAGE MANAGER/COUNTERMAN walks over, towel in hand.
STAGE MANAGER
Lola’s coming.
He turns.
CUT TO:
85 EXT. MICKEY’S DINER
LOLA climbing the steps to the front door. She is dressed in a corporate-style suit and carries a briefcase. She pauses on the top step and turns. She is talking on a cell phone.
CUT TO:
86 INT. MICKEY’S DINER—SAME TIME
> LOLA enters, still talking on the cell phone.
LOLA
I’ll get back to you on it. The question is
distribution. I don’t want distribution. Let
them worry about that. I just want to get our
Prairie Home Companion, A (movie tie-in) Page 12
