by E. A. West
It felt as though he was publicly declaring his intentions to everyone but Meghan’s father—the one man whose approval he needed if he ever wanted to marry her.
Meghan started the engine, but she turned to him before putting the truck in gear. “Everything OK?”
“Yes.” Why couldn’t he do a better job of hiding his thoughts?
“I don’t believe you.” She steered down the drive. “When are you going to realize you can tell me the truth and I won’t ridicule you for it?”
“Forgive me.” He wanted to beat himself for hurting her feelings. “Men in my country don’t talk about our feelings.”
She stopped at the end of the drive and turned toward him with compassion shining in her eyes. “Basir, I know. But you’re in America now. You’re on your way to becoming an American citizen. It’s OK to talk about how you feel and to let others in. You don’t have to keep everything hidden inside all the time.”
He studied her while his head and his heart fought a familiar battle. Finally, he sighed and accepted the need to share his thoughts with her. “I am nervous about our date. I have never been on one before.”
“I’ve been on several dates, but I’m nervous too.” She smiled and gave his hand a quick squeeze. “It’s perfectly normal, and I know we’ll both have a great time.”
“I am sure we will.” Just knowing she wasn’t as nonchalant as she seemed eased some of his worry about the evening.
They stopped at the town’s grocery and parked by the back door. Basir helped one of the store’s employees unload the produce while Meghan took care of the paperwork with the manager, and then they were on their way to the park. The parking lot was about half-full when they arrived, and Basir prayed he would have the courage to be the man Meghan wanted him to be. The man he wanted to be. The families scattered around the grass and playground sent longing through him. How he would love to bring his wife and children to the park for a picnic or just to relax on a nice afternoon. One day.
First, he had to survive a date with Meghan and hope it led to more dates in the coming weeks. He couldn’t imagine sharing his life with anyone else, but he knew he had to follow the proper protocol for an American romance. That meant dates, meeting her family, and eventually asking her to marry him...or so he had been told by marines and healthcare workers.
Meghan pulled into an empty space beside her brother’s car and shut off the engine. “It looks like Ryan and Sara have already picked out a spot for us. Let’s grab the cooler and join them.”
Basir scanned the area and spotted them sitting on a blanket beneath the shade of a large tree. Sara was digging in a cooler similar to the one Meghan had packed, and Ryan said something that made her laugh. Basir dreamed of having such easy interaction with Meghan. The only reason their relationship was so much more reserved and awkward was because of him. If he would take a chance and attempt to be more outgoing with his feelings for her, maybe she would look at him the way Sara looked at Ryan.
Or maybe it would backfire horribly and ruin whatever relationship they had managed to build so far.
Sighing, he climbed out of the truck and retrieved the cooler from the back. One way or another, he needed to quit worrying about what could go wrong. Otherwise, he was liable to kill the relationship with his indecision and inaction.
God, give me strength and guidance.
Placing the situation in God’s hands relieved a little of the pressure weighing him down, but not all of it. He still had to act—somehow. He just didn’t know what to do yet.
~*~
“This is the perfect picnic spot,” Meghan said as Basir set her cooler beside Sara’s.
“You can thank Sara for it.” Ryan shot an affectionate look toward his girlfriend. “She’s the one who picked it out.”
The blush in Sara’s cheeks made Meghan wish Basir would look at her that way. How wonderful would it be to have him clearly announce his attraction to the world through a simple look or touch? But she had known going into the relationship that it wouldn’t be like any she had ever experienced. Basir was a unique man with his own special set of obstacles to overcome. All she could do was encourage him and be patient as he navigated an unfamiliar world of romance.
Sara pulled a tray of sandwiches from her cooler. “I can’t believe how long it’s been since I went on a picnic.”
“The closest thing to a picnic I’ve had recently is eating lunch in my booth at the farmer’s market,” Meghan said with a laugh. She followed Sara’s lead and started unpacking the fresh veggies and brownies she’d brought.
The conversation over dinner remained light, focused mainly on the beautiful summer day and picnics of the past. Even Basir entered into the discussion with tales of picnics his family had gone on when he was a child. The innocuous story lightened Meghan’s heart. It was the first thing she’d heard about his life in Afghanistan that didn’t end with something devastating. Knowing he had happy memories to look back on warmed her.
After the meal, they packed the coolers, and the guys carried them back to the vehicles. Meghan braced her hands behind her and leaned back, looking up at the fading daylight filtering through the leaves.
“Basir’s an unusual man, isn’t he?” Sara’s voice broke into her thoughts.
Meghan brought her gaze down and smiled. “Yes, he’s different from anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Is he always so...distant?”
“Not really. He’s just shy and reserved, especially around women.” She wasn’t sure how much she should admit to Sara, but surely Ryan had told her at least that much.
“Doesn’t that make it hard to have a relationship with him?” Her face reddened. “I mean, Ryan’s told me a little about the way things are in Afghanistan and that Basir’s completely new to dating. He also warned me not to be surprised if Basir didn’t talk to me or look at me at all. I didn’t know if that same cultural stuff transferred over to his relationship with you or...”
The way she tried so hard to express her curiosity without being obviously nosy felt so familiar that Meghan had to laugh. How many times had she desperately wanted to give Basir the third degree just so she could understand something about him?
“Trust me, it can be awkward, but he’s starting to relax around me.” Meghan’s gaze drifted to where the two men stood talking by the cars. “Honestly, there are times I wish he could be as relaxed with me as Ryan is with you.”
Sara laughed, bringing Meghan’s gaze back to her. “You should have seen your brother the first few times we talked. I was starting to think I terrified the poor man, but then he asked me out. Each time we talk or spend time together, he relaxes a little more. Now that he has a job, he’s more relaxed than ever. Maybe it will work out the same way with Basir.”
“It seems to be headed that way so far.” Meghan’s attention went back to the men, who were now approaching. Her brother, the confident marine who had never been shy in his life, had been that nervous about talking to Sara? It was hard to reconcile with what she remembered from before he deployed to Afghanistan the first time, but she knew he had changed quite a bit since then. Apparently, whatever had caused him to need a safe place to readjust to civilian life had shaken his confidence more than she’d thought.
Ryan returned to his seat beside Sara, but Basir remained standing. Meghan looked up at him as he shifted his weight and briefly met her gaze.
“Would you like to take a walk with me?” he asked, his voice hesitant and heavily accented.
She smiled, hoping it would ease some of his nervousness. “I would love to.”
As she shifted to stand, he held out a hand to her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she cast a quick glance at her brother. Ryan had a pleased expression on his face and nodded. Meghan took Basir’s hand, and he helped her to her feet. Instead of letting go as she had expected, he kept hold of her hand as they headed for the paved walking trail around the perimeter of the park.
Meghan easily matched his leisurel
y pace and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “This is nice.”
“It is.” He took a deep breath and slowly released it. “This is also scary. In Afghanistan, holding hands with a woman in public is grounds for punishment.”
“Then it’s a good thing we’re not in Afghanistan.” She smiled when he shot her a surprised look. “I’m proud of you for pushing past the fear and holding my hand anyway.”
He flashed a brief smile and then faced the trail again. “Ryan has been encouraging me to act more like an American man. This is one small step in that direction, I hope.”
“It is.” She laid her head on his shoulder for just a second but straightened when she felt him tense. Even though he was doing better with public displays of affection, clearly he wasn’t ready to move past hand holding.
They followed the path in companionable silence, and Meghan breathed deeply, relaxing with each step. Spending time with a man who could appreciate quiet was a nice change from the dates Julia had arranged. Most of them seemed uncomfortable with any pause in the conversation.
“Meghan, I-I need to be honest with you.” Basir’s soft words sent a wave of nerves through her. Something about his tone threatened the peace of the afternoon.
“You know I appreciate honesty.”
“I do, but...” He stopped them beside a huge oak, blocking them from Ryan and Sara’s view. “I don’t know if you will appreciate this.”
“Regardless of what you have to say, I will appreciate the honesty of it, even if I don’t like the words themselves.” She prayed he wasn’t going to dump her just when they were moving their relationship forward.
He nodded and then shocked her by grasping her other hand. No man so reserved around women would hold both her hands to dump her.
“You know there is no casual dating where I come from.”
“Yes...”
“All marriages are arranged by the families. The bride and groom marry each other because their fathers tell them to, not because they met and fell in love.”
“OK.” Meghan’s pulse raced faster than her mind. He wasn’t going to propose to her on their first date, was he? She wasn’t entirely sure she would insist on waiting to answer if he did.
“I want to get to know you better before marriage. I don’t want to marry another woman without knowing her well and knowing she loves me.”
“That’s a good plan.” Disappointment and relief warred within her. As much as she hadn’t wanted him to propose so soon, part of her wanted that very thing. Then, what he said sank in. He wanted to get to know her before marriage? Maybe he planned to propose to her after all.
He looked across the park for a moment and then brought his gaze back to her. His eyes held more warmth than she had ever seen, and her heart took off on another gallop around her chest.
“I...” He drew in a breath and stepped closer to her, closer than he had ever been. “I know it is still early in our relationship, but I love you, Meghan.”
Tears sprang to her eyes at the tenderness in his voice, and her heart overflowed. She desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, but she was afraid of upsetting him if she acted impulsively. “I love you, too, Basir. Would it be OK if I give you a hug?”
He smiled and nodded as he released her hands and spread his arms. She stepped into them, and he held her close. His warmth seeped into her as she slid her arms around his waist and leaned against him. The strength in his lean muscles made her feel safe and protected. The hesitant way he stroked a hand down her back made her feel cherished.
“You are a beautiful woman,” he murmured in her ear. “Your beauty comes from within, shining out like a ray of sun on a stormy day.”
She melted. Never would she have guessed that this man with a rough exterior and so many insecurities could be so poetic and romantic. She leaned back and looked him in the eye. “You have a beautiful soul. Despite all you have been through, you are one of the kindest, most caring men I have ever met.”
His eyes misted, but he didn’t say anything. Words were unnecessary. He hugged her tightly, conveying with his actions what spoken language could not express.
When he finally released her and stepped back, she keenly felt the loss of contact. The ache eased when he took her hand once more. They headed back to the blanket where Ryan and Sara still sat, but Meghan wished they were alone at the park. Now that she knew for sure how Basir felt, she wanted to bask in the warm glow of being loved by such a wonderful man. Never had she loved anyone as she loved Basir, and she had a feeling he had the same experience. Knowing he had been married once was a little intimidating, but from what he had said about his dead wife, she had no reason to worry she would fall short in any comparisons. All she had to worry about was how he would handle the stress of a romance and whether he would pull away from her again as he had done so many times before.
That worry could wait for another day, however. She planned to enjoy every minute of the new, outgoing Basir she could. Most likely he would become more reserved with her in a day or two, but at least now she could comfort herself with the knowledge that he loved her.
14
Each day, Basir’s heart drew closer to Meghan. He knew that regardless of what he had said at the park, he would still want to marry her even if he took years to learn about her. He loved her.
Memories of the moment he confessed his love for her, the expression of pure joy that had come to her face, lightened his spirit and made him smile. Hearing she loved him as well had completed his love for her. All his concerns about things that mattered in Afghanistan but didn’t matter in America faded away, leaving him able to accept that his honor wasn’t ruined beyond repair. As Ryan and Meghan had both pointed out on numerous occasions, he was a good, honorable man in the eyes of Americans.
Now all he had to worry about was his lack of anything to offer Meghan other than himself. He had a feeling she wouldn’t mind too much, but he didn’t know if her parents would approve of him. Despite loving her, or maybe because he loved her, he wouldn’t be able to marry her without her father’s blessing. One of them without a family was enough. He wouldn’t do anything to harm her relationship with her parents.
Soft humming reached his ears as he headed through the house toward the back door. Kadwaal stayed on his heels as he followed the sweet sound to Meghan’s workshop. He peered into the room, and his heart thundered in his chest. She looked more beautiful than ever, preparing her workshop for a class she was conducting that afternoon. Her movements were so graceful as she separated an alpaca fleece into small piles at a long table she had set up in the middle of the room. Difficult though it was, Basir stepped away from the workshop doorway without letting her know he had ever been there and continued outside to check the alpacas’ water supply.
Ever since the day she had voluntarily put on a long skirt just to make him more comfortable, he couldn’t seem to stay away from her. That feeling had only grown stronger since their date in the park. Each moment he was near her brought a light to his soul he had been missing for years. Talking to her became easier as well. Ryan seemed pleased with his progress, but more importantly, Meghan’s smile took on a new warmth whenever he conversed with her. When he held her hand or touched her cheek...Basir took a deep breath and prayed for God to give him the strength to keep his thoughts pure.
One day, hopefully soon, he wouldn’t have to worry about it. But until they were married, if they did indeed marry, he intended to keep his thoughts and desires under tight control so as to refrain from disrespecting her in any way.
After he finished with the alpacas, he checked the garden. They would need to harvest again in the next day or two, but there were very few new invaders since the last time he weeded. He plucked a few tiny plants before they could take root and tossed them onto the path between rows. Kadwaal attacked them with gusto, and Basir chuckled.
“You will be a good hunter when you grow up. Will you protect the house and barn from mice and rats?”
&nb
sp; The kitten looked up at him and mewed, sounding as though he agreed with the assessment of his future abilities.
Basir leaned down and rubbed his head before scooping him up and cuddling him. “You are a smart one.”
Kadwaal mewed again, and then settled down with a purr. The kitten had bonded tightly to Basir, but he didn’t mind. Kadwaal made an excellent companion, and he got along well with the alpacas. He had grown like a weed since Basir first found him, easily regaining all of the weight he had been missing and developing a shiny, silky coat. Despite his shadow-like behavior, he had a sense of independence that found him regularly wandering off in search of adventure. He never strayed far from Basir, however, and always returned to him within a few minutes.
The crunch of tires on the driveway caught Basir’s attention, and he looked up as an unfamiliar car approached the house. Two more turned into the drive, and he realized they must belong to Meghan’s students. Still, to be sure she truly was safe, he headed for the house. By the time he stepped from the kitchen into the hallway with Kadwaal on his heels, Meghan was leading a pair of women, who appeared to be mother and daughter, into her workshop.
The doorbell rang, and Ryan came downstairs. He admitted three more women, ranging in age from mid-thirties to around sixty. As he guided them to the workshop, the doorbell rang once more.
“Can you get that, Basir?” Ryan asked. “It’s probably one of Meghan’s students.”
When Basir opened the door, he found a pair of women who appeared to be in their late twenties or early thirties. They exchanged an uncertain glance, and then the one on the left spoke.
“Hi. We’re here for the spinning class?”
“Come in.” He stepped back and allowed them to enter. “The class is this way.”
