Redeeming Honor

by E. A. West

  “But it still feels like I am sneaking around with you since I haven’t spoken with him yet.”

  “I’m sure it does simply because of the way you were raised, but you’re not sneaking around. This is the normal, American way of romance. Two people meet, get to know each other, and fall in love. Then, they meet each other’s families. There’s no permission needed.”

  “I know that in my head, but in my heart...” He sighed and shook his head. “It is hard.”

  “I know.” She wished she could make the transition to American life easier for him, but it was something he would have to work through on his own. “Instead of worrying about all of that right now, why don’t we finish our pizza and get out of here? I’m sure you’ll find it easier to relax back at the farm.”

  He nodded, and they continued their dinner in silence. This time, Meghan didn’t try to encourage him to talk. His silence had nothing to do with her. Rather, it was the same silence she had witnessed many times as her brother worked through things in his own mind. She had a feeling that silence was something she would have to get used to. With everything in Basir’s past, it could easily take a lifetime or more to work through it all.

  15

  The echo of children’s laughter filled the church hall, and Basir watched as a group of kids around eight or ten years old played in one corner of the room. He wished he still had their innocence, but he had lost it long ago due to circumstances beyond his control. All he could do now was move forward and pray God would give him the strength to face whatever obstacles lay ahead.

  Meghan joined him and handed him a foam cup filled with coffee. “You look like you’re thinking some deep thoughts.”

  He shrugged and took a sip of the bitter brew. “I was just thinking how nice it must be to grow up somewhere like the United States.”

  “As someone who grew up here, I think I can safely say it’s a pretty good place to be a kid.”

  Ryan approached with another church member at his side. “Hey, I have great news. Ken, here, has a two-bedroom apartment for rent at a very reasonable price.”

  Basir hoped Ryan meant the second bedroom for him. No way could he continue to live on Meghan’s farm once Ryan moved out. Not only would it be inappropriate, he feared the temptation would be too great without someone else living in the house to act as a buffer.

  “Are you going to take it?” Meghan asked.

  “I’m thinking about it.” Ryan glanced at Ken. “This is Basir Hamidi, the roommate I told you about.”

  “It’s good to meet you, Basir,” Ken said with a friendly smile. “Ryan tells me you two met during one of his deployments in Afghanistan.”

  “Yes, I was an interpreter for the marines.” Sharing that bit of information with strangers grew easier all the time. “Ryan and I worked together often on his last four deployments.”

  “Well, I appreciate the service you did.” Ken exchanged a look with Ryan, and then focused on Basir once more. “Like I already told Ryan, I’m going to give you guys a military discount. Instead of requiring first and last month’s rent like I usually do for new tenants, I’m only asking for your first month’s rent.”

  That explained how Ryan was able to afford an apartment so soon after starting his job. Basir placed his right hand over his heart and smiled. “Thank you.”

  “It’s not much, but it’s the least I can do to thank you for the sacrifices you made.”

  “Ken says we can look at the apartment this afternoon if we want,” Ryan said, his excitement over the idea evident in his eyes. “What do you say?”

  “If you want to look at it this afternoon, I will go with you.”

  “Cool.”

  Ryan and Ken wandered off, talking about when to see the apartment. Basir glanced at Meghan and found her looking sad.

  “What’s wrong?” Maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to go with her brother that afternoon, but he couldn’t figure out how that would upset her.

  “Oh, nothing.” She forced a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

  “You are a terrible liar, Meghan.” He faced her fully and looked her in the eye long enough to make himself uncomfortable. “Why do you look sad when your brother is so excited?”

  “I’m happy for him and everything. I mean, I know he’s been wanting to get out on his own again for a while, but...” She sighed and shook her head. “I’ve gotten used to you guys sharing my house. It’s going to be lonely with just me out there.”

  “You will still see us.” He wanted to give her a hug, to reassure her he would always be there for her, but he couldn’t do it. Not in such a public place. He settled for touching her arm and smiling. “I still work for you, remember? Even though I will live somewhere else, I will be on your farm every day to care for the alpacas and to help with anything else.”

  The light that came to her eyes warmed his heart. “I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe I won’t be so lonely after all. I’ll still miss you guys, though.”

  He debated making an offer. Ryan likely wouldn’t mind, but would it be appropriate? Thinking back over what the marines had said and Ryan’s own actions, he could only assume it would be. “If you get too lonely, maybe you could come visit us.”

  “That could work. We’ll have plenty of time to figure it out, I’m sure.” She released a breath and tilted her head at an inquisitive angle. “By the way, do you know how to drive? I mean, since you’re going to be living in town, you’ll need a way to get out to the farm. I don’t mind driving you, and I’m sure Ryan won’t either, but it would be easier if you could drive yourself.”

  Some of his good mood evaporated under the harsh glare of reality. “I can’t drive.”

  “Well, I’m sure you could learn.”

  He shook his head and focused on the far wall as he struggled to remember that the challenges he faced didn’t lessen his worth as a man. “No, the doctors said I can’t drive. I don’t know if that will ever change, but for now...”

  “I’m sorry, Basir.” Meghan laid her hand on his arm. “I didn’t think.”

  “There is no way you could have known.” He met her gaze, and the sympathy he found there threatened to do him in. “I am luckier than many with traumatic brain injuries, but it still interferes with life sometimes.”

  She reached out and gave his hand a squeeze that set his heart racing. A quick glance around showed no one giving them disapproving looks. No one appeared to notice at all. Maybe holding her hand in public wouldn’t be so bad.

  The congregants moved toward the exit, indicating it was almost time for the worship service. Basir took a chance and kept hold of Meghan’s hand as they followed along. She smiled warmly and walked a little closer to him, making it clear she approved of the move. He caught Ryan watching from across the room, but he had no need to worry. His friend grinned and nodded then went on his way.

  As they headed down the hallway, Meghan leaned close and whispered, “You’re getting brave.”

  He chuckled and grasped her fingers a little more firmly. “I can’t live in fear forever. And as you and Ryan like to remind me, we are in America where the rules are different.”

  “I’m glad you’re finally taking advantage of them. I could get used to this.”

  Basir didn’t respond, but one thought bounced around his mind.

  He could get used to it too.

  ~*~

  Meghan joined Basir and her brother at the front of the car. Ryan didn’t seem to notice his friend’s apprehension, yet she couldn’t ignore it. The café was busier than usual with the after-church crowd, but she knew that wasn’t Basir’s real issue. Was the woman who feared him working today, or would he get a break from the discomfort of having her hide from him?

  Taking Basir’s hand, Meghan spoke softly. “It’ll be OK.”

  “I know.” He sighed and shook his head. “It is her problem, not mine.”

  “If it helps, you can sit with your back to the kitchen.”

  Basir nodded, but Rya
n interrupted before he could speak. “Hey, Sara!”

  Meghan looked down the street and spotted the brown-haired woman approaching with a smile. “You invited your girlfriend?”

  “Sure.” Ryan glanced at her. “Why not?”

  “No reason.” She refused to admit how interesting she found it that Sara was joining them for lunch and presumably to look at the apartment afterwards. To Meghan, it sounded as if the relationship was much more serious than Ryan had let on. But since he wanted to pretend it was no big deal, she would let him. She knew that method worked to keep Basir more comfortable, so maybe it worked for her brother too.

  Ken arrived and the group entered the café. A young woman wearing an apron paused as she carried a tray past.

  “Welcome! There’s an empty table over there.” She nodded toward the middle of the right wall. “If you’ll go have a seat, I’ll be right with you to take your order.”

  She continued on her way, and the group walked toward the vacant table. As Ryan pulled out a chair for Sara, Meghan heard a quiet sigh beside her. She glanced at Basir and found him gazing toward the back. A quick glance in that direction showed an older woman disappearing through the swinging door to the kitchen. A second later, the door reopened a crack and she peered out, looking directly at Basir before ducking out of sight again.

  No wonder he didn’t like going to the café. She wouldn’t either with someone acting like that.

  Meghan took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Ignore her.”

  He nodded and then pulled out the chair across the table from Sara. Meghan sat down, and he took the seat beside her. Ryan settled next to Sara, and Ken took a chair at the end, facing both couples. They passed around the laminated menus from the holder on the table and studied them while they waited for the waitress to arrive.

  Ken’s gaze kept drifting toward the back of the restaurant, and finally he said, “What on earth is she doing?”

  Ryan looked up from his menu. “What is who doing?”

  “Sandra keeps peeping out of the kitchen like she’s expecting an invasion.” Ken shook his head. “I know she’s been a little strange since her son’s friend got killed in Afghanistan, but this is weird even for her.”

  A sharp intake of breath sent Meghan’s attention to Basir. He glanced over his shoulder, an understanding expression on his face. Then he faced Ken and spoke quietly. “I think she is afraid of me. She does this every time I come here.”

  “Hmm.” Ken studied him then looked toward the kitchen once more. “I think it’s time she meets you. I’ll be right back.”

  As soon as he left the table, Basir focused on Ryan. “Is this a good idea?”

  “Yes. You don’t want her to remain scared of you for no reason. Now, if you want to give her a reason to be scared, that’s different.”

  Meghan rolled her eyes. “You’re a dork, Ryan.”

  “You’re just now figuring that out?”

  “Nope. I’ve known it for years. You just need to be reminded every now and then so you don’t forget.”

  Sara laughed and shook her head. “You guys are hilarious.”

  Ryan put his arm around her and leaned close. “I’m glad you can appreciate it.”

  Ken returned with the woman from the kitchen. She looked ready to jump out of her skin, but he pulled her closer to the table.

  “Sandra Baker, this is Basir Hamidi, Ryan Carpenter, Ryan’s sister, Meghan, and Sara Gotheridge. Sandra is my cousin’s ex-wife,” Ken said. “Ryan and Basir are hopefully going to be renting from me.”

  “Hello,” Sandra said, her wide eyes on Basir.

  “It is good to meet you.” He glanced at Meghan as if seeking reassurance, and then he spoke to Sandra again. “I am very sorry to hear about your son’s friend. I know what it is like to have someone close to you killed by the Taliban.”

  “Tha-thank you.” Something in her eyes changed, and some of the fear rolling off her faded. She took a deep breath and pulled a pad from the pocket of her apron. “Have you guys ordered?”

  “Not yet,” Ken said as he returned to his seat.

  After taking their orders, she returned to the kitchen. Ken smiled at Basir. “I’ll probably be answering a ton of questions the next time I talk to her, but she should stop hiding from you now.”

  “Thank you.” Basir placed his hand over his heart. “I don’t like for people to fear me.”

  “I wouldn’t either.”

  The conversation moved on, and Meghan reached for Basir’s hand under the table. He grasped her fingers and met her gaze with a faint smile. Her heart skipped a beat, and she said a quick prayer of thanks. Not only for Sandra no longer hiding from him, but also for his newfound ability to show small bits of affection in front of other people. He had grown so much in the time she had known him, and he had taught her so much about what a relationship could be.

  Now she had to hope that the connection they had worked so hard to build would survive after he moved off the farm.

  16

  Basir set a box on the living room floor by the end of the couch and straightened with a sigh. His back ached from the exertion of moving boxes and furniture, but it felt good. For the first time in years, he had a safe home to call his own. During a lengthy conversation after seeing the two-bedroom apartment above one of the stores downtown, Ryan had assured him the apartment would belong to both of them for however long they wanted to live there. Even though Basir couldn’t completely pay his way, he was able to contribute enough thanks to his job on Meghan’s farm to feel like he was finally supporting himself again.

  The sense of being a self-sufficient man once more lifted a weight from his shoulders and allowed him to have hope for the future.

  Meghan entered the apartment with a box in her arms, and Basir quickly relieved her of the burden.

  “Thanks.” She smiled and wiped a loose strand of hair from her eyes. “Ryan’s bringing up the last box.”

  “OK.”

  He hadn’t been sure about allowing her to help with moving, but she had insisted and Ryan backed her up. Maybe one of these days having women do heavy work like farming and moving furniture would seem normal, but for now, Basir still wished he could keep Meghan from having to do anything other than care for her home and make her yarn. Even though he couldn’t make life that simple for her, he planned to do as much as he could around the farm to ease her workload. Doing so much work also gave him a convenient excuse to spend large amounts of time near her. Not seeing her from morning until night was the only drawback to moving into town, but he couldn’t have continued living in her house. Not without a chaperone.

  Not yet.

  He pushed aside thoughts of the future and carried the box to his bedroom. After setting it on the floor, he looked around the room he could truly call his. A twin bed stood against the wall to the right of the door. Across from the door, a scarred wooden dresser topped with a mirror sat against the wall. A closet occupied the opposite wall, and the fourth held a window overlooking the street below. In the corner by the window, a plain wooden armchair with dark blue cushions sat waiting for him to practice reading or relax with his kitten in his lap. Many Americans would likely consider the room sparse, but he liked the simplicity of little furniture or decoration. It felt like home.

  Leaving his room, he looked down the short hall ahead of him. Ryan’s room stood at the end. A closet opened off the side left, and the bathroom stood on the right. When Basir turned left, he was back in the large living room where Ryan now stood with Meghan between the coffee table and the entertainment center. Another turn to the left would take him into the small kitchen dominated by a plain wooden table and four chairs, while going straight would send him to the front door. The apartment wasn’t huge, but it was big enough for two men to share comfortably.

  “It’s all in,” Ryan said. “All that’s left is going back to Meghan’s and picking up Kadwaal.”

  “I can do that if you want,” Meghan said, shifting her g
aze to Basir. “You’re welcome to come with me. Kadwaal might appreciate it, since you’re his human.”

  Basir’s heart melted at the sound of the kitten’s Pashto name rolling off her tongue. Her pronunciation had improved immensely in the last few weeks, and she almost had the accent down. A discreet cough from Ryan brought him out of his musing, and for once he made a quick decision rather than thinking too hard about what would be proper. “I will go with you.”

  “Great!” A smile lit up Meghan’s face, and Basir knew he had made the right choice.

  “I’ll go pick up a pizza for our dinner and meet you guys back here,” Ryan said, heading for the door.

  Basir was the last one out, so he locked the door before following Meghan downstairs. Her truck sat at the curb, right behind her brother’s car. He climbed into the passenger seat as she settled behind the wheel. Once they were on the road, he spoke.

  “Thank you for helping us move into our apartment.”

  “I was glad to do it. You guys have helped me so much since moving in, the least I could do is offer my truck and my hands to help you move out.”

  He looked out the windshield as he considered the wistful note in her voice. It echoed the feeling in his heart. “I am going to miss sharing a house with you.”

  “I’m going to miss you too.” She held out her hand, and he grasped it. “It’s been a while since I lived alone. I’m going to have to adjust to not having other people around all the time.”

  He rubbed his thumb across her knuckles, enjoying the little shiver he felt run through her. “I will be on your farm every day to care for the alpacas and do whatever you need me to do.”

  “I know, but it’s not the same.” She sighed as she braked for a stop sign, and then she glanced at him. “I don’t want you to feel guilty for moving or like you’re abandoning me or anything like that. Even though I’m going to miss having housemates, I’m really happy for you guys. I can tell you’re both happier with a space of your own. We’ll all adjust to living in separate places, and it will make those times we are together that much sweeter.”