by Brynne Asher
“I’m not sure we need help in,” Gabby looks over to her future mother-in-law and then decides to whisper, “that department.”
“Well of course you don’t now. It’s new. But sometimes it’s fun to have a little inspiration,” Audrey replies grinning.
Gabby looks skeptical, but plays along and says, “Okay, if you say so. Next?”
“Make his favorite meals, it’ll make him happy,” Micah says, as she accepts her new drink from the waiter.
“Jude does eat a lot of my salads,” Gabby mutters. “I need to remember that one. Next?”
“And keep his favorite drinks in the house,” Charlotte adds. “Really, they’re very simple creatures. Sex, food and drinks. It doesn’t take a lot to keep them happy. But you might have to learn to watch ESPN. SportsCenter lasts an entire hour. But that’s when you just cuddle up next to him and read your smut. He’ll appreciate you not talking during SportsCenter, anyway.”
“That should be easy, Jude is mostly a beer guy and I already watch sports with him. But I might have to remember that about SportsCenter. An hour is way too long for sports news. Got it. Next?”
“Oo-oo! I know,” Clara interjects. “Sleep naked now while you can. Trust me, when you have kids, you can’t.”
“This is true,” Charlotte mutters. “Once you have kids, you never know when you’re gonna end up with an extra guest in your bed. Unless you wanna invest in therapy, you won’t wanna be naked when they climb in.”
“Sleepin,” (hiccup), “naked was the best,” Micah slurs in remembrance of the event.
“Huh? Sleep naked. Okay, point taken. Next?” Gabby moves on, but this time she catches my eyes with her bright blue ones.
Even in her drunken state, I can tell she knows I have nothing to add since the entirety of my married experience was miserable. She reaches over and grabs my hand to give it a squeeze. Her squeeze gives me the courage and even with all the alcohol I find the words to softly say, “You don’t need to do a thing, girlie. He loves you. Just be you but whatever you do, be happy.”
Gabby gives my hand a pull and I lean forward to hug her. “Thank you,” she whispers in my ear. But she goes on to shock me, “You’re loved, too, Leigh. And not just by me. Maybe it’s time for you to be happy, too.”
“Oh, I’m going to cry,” Susan says, from across the fire.
“Me, too,” Lizzie and Tia say at the same time.
I don’t have an answer for her, so I give my shoulders a little shrug.
To that she becomes louder in her loose lipped drunken state, “It’s time, Leigh. You need to sit back and let it happen. Don’t fight it.”
“Don’t fight what?” Audrey asks.
“Oh nothing,” Gabby says. “I’m just so giddy and loved I can’t help but want to spread the bliss. But I think I’ve had enough advice for one night. I’m afraid it’s gonna get naughty and my future mother-in-law is here, so it cannot get naughty.”
“Thank you, Gabby,” Susan replies with big eyes.
But my attention is drawn back across the fire to Paige who has her beer raised in the air and is singing I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore. She gives me a grin and a wink, tipping her beer as if she’s dedicating it to me.
“Oh my,” I mutter under my breath as I pick up my fresh martini and down half of it as I hear Gabby giggling beside me.
“She must be off her game from all the liquor,” Sophia states. “This is a terrible song for Gabby and Jude.”
At that, Paige bursts out laughing which honestly is better than her silently dedicating ancient love songs to me. But just when I think I’m catching a break, like mother like daughter, Lizzie picks up where Paige left off. Then Gabby joins in, along with all the other Carpinos and Susan.
Screw it. I down the rest of my martini, catch the waiter as he walks by to signal for another and sit back to take in our group who are butchering the corny love song.
I realize in my mostly drunken state how different I am than them. They love each other, support each other, know what’s going on in each other’s lives and I’ve never had that. Tony’s had that his whole life. He didn’t just have a mother and a father and sisters to love him, but a big ole crazy family to top it off with a cherry on top. I have a mother who’s shacking up with some loser in the next state and a strung out sister living in Florida. Neither of them came when I was in the hospital after I lost my baby. Neither of them bothered to see that I was taken care of, or to help remove me from an abusive husband, or even call to check on me for that matter.
I know I haven’t been thinking things through lately, but I’m not blind as to what Tony wants. I’m just not sure I’ll ever fit into this, be what he wants, what he’ll eventually need. But I want to be a part of this more than anything.
And I want Tony. So badly it hurts.
When I was younger I wanted him in a dreamy girly way only young girls can seem to dream up. Unrealistic happy dreams of a life made up of puppies, daisies and milkshakes all tied up in a baby blue polka dot bow with a hot guy. But Tony went away to college, then law school and I eventually grew up, realizing reality was not made up of girly dreams. Then I made the worst decision of my life tying myself to Preston who showed me reality was the exact opposite of puppies, daises and milkshakes.
Now, with Tony forcing himself in my life, I know down deep I want him in a way I shouldn’t because I don’t know if I can give him what he needs and deserves. Not to mention, the thought of being married again, a wife again, freaks me out huge. And that’s exactly what Tony deserves.
Another new round of drinks arrives to pull their attention away from the sing-along. My head is really spinning from practically downing my last Prickly Pear, so somewhere I find the wherewithal to sip this martini. This is when my phone dings and I look down to see I have a text from Tony.
My head is brimming from being with his family all weekend, his sisters, cousins, aunts, not to mention his mother. Being with Tony in this…this…whatever this is we have together, I’ve gotten a glimpse of what a real and healthy relationship could feel like. Knowing what Tony wants from me, where he wants us to go, my head’s not only spinning with Prickly Pear Martini’s, but with all things Tony.
And suddenly I have so much to say to him.
Tony – You still up?
I mean, really. He’s very thoughtful.
Me – Yep.
Hmm…well I thought I had a lot to say.
Tony – What are you doing?
Me – Drinking.
Me – And stuff.
Tony – What stuff?
Shit.
Tony – Hello?
Me – Just girl stuff.
Tony – Can I call you?
See? Thoughtful.
Me – Give me dive.
Me – Fibe.
Me – Shit! 5!
Tony – Okay sweetheart, I’ll give you five. Maybe even sex. I mean, 6! ;-)
“Holy shit,” I mutter under my breath, but can’t help but think he’s funny because he gave me a winky face. He’s usually very intense, I didn’t think he had it in him to text a winky face.
Gabby breaks into my winky face contemplations, “Holy shit, what?”
“What? Oh, nothing. I’m tired, I think I’ll go to the room. Don’t worry about me, you have fun,” I say as I get up and feel myself sway.
She eyes my phone as it dings again and grins back up at me but asks, “Can you get there okay? You want me to walk you?”
“I’m good. Come in as late as you want. You won’t bother me.”
“Girlie, tomorrow morning is gonna to come early. I’ve never flown hung over, it’s gonna suck big time.”
“Yes, it’s going to suck,” I agree, as I trip over my own feet moving around the posh outdoor furniture. Why are you always ten times as drunk after you stand up? Being drunk and sitting is way easier.
I call my goodnights to everyone and stumble to our room. My phone rings as I’m pulling out my key card. Slidi
ng my finger across the screen I answer on a breath, “Hey.”
“I didn’t freak you out, did I? You know I was joking,” Tony says in a rush.
“What are you talking about?”
“When I wrote ‘sex’ instead of ‘six’. I regretted it the second I hit send. I don’t want to pressure you.”
“See?” I say with meaning. “This is what we need to talk about, Tony.”
“What do we need to talk about?”
“Shit! I dropped my key card,” I slur, because I did. I dropped my key card.
“You okay?”
“I’m good. Oops, the arrow’s the wrong way, hang on,” I have to turn the little card around so the little arrow goes in first.
“Gem, are you trashed?”
“Got it. I’m in!” I exclaim.
“Sweetheart, how much did you drink?”
“I dunno,” I answer, because I really can’t remember. “Hey, can you hang on?”
“Sure,” I hear through the phone. I can even hear him smile. I sigh, because listening to Tony smile is really, really nice.
“Okay, don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond. I toss my phone to the bed because I really have to go to the bathroom. I don’t care how long I’ve been sleeping with Tony or that he has had his hand down my pants and given me two orgasms. I’m not taking the phone into the bathroom with me.
I take care of my business, give my face and teeth a quick wash and head back to my suitcase. I dig to the bottom and find what I’m looking for. I’ve been strong and haven’t used it yet. But not tonight. Tonight I need it. I unearth Tony’s super soft, worn Washburn Law t-shirt I snuck into my suitcase when he wasn’t looking. I slip off my maxi dress, kick off my flip flops and pull his tee over my head. It smells like him, or his laundry anyway, but feels even better as it falls over my bare body.
Crawling up my bed, I claim my phone and the first thing I say is, “I stole your t-shirt.”
Silence.
He doesn’t say a thing. Well, I really didn’t think he would mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have fessed up.
“Tony?” I call.
Finally I hear his voice dip, “You took my shirt?”
“Well, what’s the big deal? You’re always shoving a shirt at me to wear to bed no matter where we sleep,” this is sort of pissing me off. “Good grief, I’ll give it back.”
“Calm down. You just surprised me. That means you thought you’d miss me and I’m pleased as hell you thought you’d miss me. But I’ve got to say, sweetheart, it’s good to hear you vexed.”
“I’m not vexed!”
“Gem. You are and I like it.”
“Well that’s just crazy. Why would you like it?” I ask, admittedly sounding a bit vexed.
“We’ll talk about that another time,” he explains. “Now I want to talk about what you wanted to talk about before you made me wait an age on the phone while you took care of your shit. What was that about?”
“I don’t remember,” I answer honestly.
“Focus, Leigh. I was teasing you and wrote the word ‘sex’ instead of ‘six’ and you said we need to talk about that,” he spells it out for me.
“Oh, yeah,” I crawl under the covers to settle in. “See, I’ve learned a lot of things this weekend. You’re from this perfect family where everyone loves each other and cares about each other and wants to be together. You’re lucky to have that. I’ve never had that. You know the mess I came from and then I got myself into another mess with Preston. I didn’t know I could find an even messier mess, but I sure did. I plopped myself right into the middle of it. But what if those messes are me? What if I can never be normal? Not that your family is normal. I’ve learned this weekend they are far from normal, but you know what I mean. They’re good people. I don’t know if I can fit into that--”
“Gem, stop--”
“No, Tony, I’m not done. Do you know what I realized tonight? I want things. I want to be normal, or whatever kind of normal you Carpinos have. I want to make your favorite meal for you and sleep with you when we’re fighting and keep your favorite drinks around and even though I’ve never liked to sleep naked, I really want to sleep naked now because apparently you can’t after you have kids for some reason. You deserve all that, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be normal enough to be able to sleep naked for you. You could be waiting around for forever and it will all be for nothing. I can’t make you wait forever for someone to make your favorite meals and sleep naked with you before you have kids. Don’t you see? You should cut your losses now and find someone who’s guaranteed to be normal.”
There. I got it all out. I feel a lot better.
But he’s gone silent again.
“Tone?” I call out for him.
“Sweetheart,” he finally says in a gruff voice. “If you want to sleep naked, I can make that happen.”
“You don’t understand,” I start, but he interrupts me instantly.
“No, you don’t understand. I don’t give a shit whether or not you fit in with my family. I agree they’re in your business. If you fit in, great, but I don’t care either way. You fit with me and that’s all I care about. I regret more than you’ll ever know you were at the hands of that jackass for years, but last October I saw something become available I’ve wanted for a long time so I claimed it on the spot. It being you. I wasn’t going to lose another chance at you, so I stopped fucking around. But, Leigh, you aren’t seeing yourself for what you’ve already become. You’ve got to get past how you were with your mom, your sister and that jackwagon. You’re finding yourself again, you’re just conditioned to not letting yourself be happy. You might think I’m patient, but I’m not. I’m determined and when I set my mind to something, I get it. I’ve already claimed you and you promised to come back to me. I have full confidence you’ll be mine in every way, maybe sooner than later, but that’s entirely up to you. And I’ve just got to add, I’m pleased as fuck you want to make my favorite meals and sleep naked. I don’t know what in the hell went on there tonight, but I can tell you I’m pissed I’m not with you right now but I’m pleased you’re in my tee and I’m more determined than ever we’ll find a way to sleep naked after we have kids.”
Wow.
He wants to sleep naked after we have kids.
And all that other stuff he said.
I don’t know what to say, but the alcohol apparently does because when I open my mouth, I ask before I can make myself stop, “You’ve wanted me a long time?”
I hear him let out a breath over the phone and he quietly answers, “Too long, gem. I was young and stupid, thought I could wait til I was out of school to have you but it was too late. Because of that, you’ve been through what you’ve been through and I’ve lost years with you. I can’t go back and change the past, that’s on me and now I’m doing everything I can to make it right.”
Too long? That sounds like a long time. I don’t even know what to think about that. Now would be the perfect time to fess up about the daisies and milkshakes, but honestly, I would have to be super drunk to do that.
“Please tell me you didn’t pass out,” Tony bites out.
“No, I’m awake,” I whisper.
Tony softens his voice to say, “Sweetheart, I don’t know why you’re worried about being normal. You’ve only moaned for me twice and it was so far off the charts of not-normal, it was out of this world. I can’t imagine how far from normal you’ll be when I finally make you mine. I don’t want normal, Leigh, I just want you. Please stop worrying. From what you told me tonight, we want the exact same things. If anything it’s a relief to finally hear this shit out loud. I know you’re drunk, but I’ve got to tell you it really takes a load off,” he informs me.
“Okay,” I whisper again, because I don’t know what else to say.
I hear him chuckle over the phone. I can even hear him smile again as he says, “Let me guess, you want to go to sleep now?”
Wo
w, again. He knows me really well, so I confirm on a hum, “Mm-hmm.”
“All right,” he says softly. “One more night, gem, I’ll have you back.”
“One more night,” I agree.
“Roll over to your side, like you’re facing me,” he instructs. “I’ll wait for you to go to sleep before I hang up.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“Pull a pillow into you, sweetheart.”
I settle in with a pillow and hum again, “Mmm.”
“Close your eyes and go to sleep,” he instructs, softly this time.
I close my eyes and I feel my body start to get heavy, but I call out, “Tony?”
“Right here,” he says.
My eyes are too heavy to open now but I pull in a breath and mumble into the phone, “I miss you, honey.”
“Miss you, too, gem,” he whispers back. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the airport.”
“I really hope I don’t forget all this tomorrow,” I admit.
“No way will I let you forget this.”
“I know you won’t,” I mutter into the phone and it’s the last thing I remember.
Chapter 10 - The Way You Look At Her
Shit.
I hope this isn’t what I think it is. I don’t know what else it could be. I’ve been practicing law just under four years, it’s not like I have decades of experience to draw from but I’ve never seen anything like this.
McCurdy Transfers is a private trucking and transporting company of all sorts of goods. They’re headquartered here in Omaha and are the largest trucking company in the Midwest, one of the largest in the country. It’s always been a family business. Leo McCurdy started it in the sixties and grew the company, when in its prime ten years ago, was worth hundreds of millions. Old man McCurdy was known to be a wise business man who ran a tight ship with a finger in every facet of the company.
Until he died ten years ago.
And from the evidence lying before me, being a wise business man does not make you a wise father.
McCurdy left the business in the hands of his son, who has proven not to be a wise business man. To the extent that it looks like Jason McCurdy is proving to be an imbecile of great magnitude. The books are a mess, audits haven’t been performed on a regular basis and profits have fallen in a huge way, especially over the last six years.
