Determined to find a suitable substitute for the ornament that had been lost, Lani kept acquiring new angels, some purchased from neighboring towns, while others, secured through the internet, arrived via overnight shipping. She presented each to Ellie in turn, and each and every one of the angels was summarily rejected. None, it seemed, was able to live up to the original.
Down but not out, Lani decided to go back to the source one more time.
She talked to Garrett. “You’re just going to have to make one for Ellie.”
They were down to the wire. It was Christmas Eve and the sheriff’s office had closed early so that she, and presumably Garrett, could finish stringing popcorn with Ellie, and then hang the finished product like garlands around the gaily decorated spruce that stood in the center of the living room.
As it turned out, Ellie and she were doing the stringing and the hanging. Garrett, Lani had noticed, was being more uncommunicative than usual, reverting back to his old ways. He wasn’t even pretending to supervise the decorating the way he had been the last week, as each evening saw more and more decorations on the tree.
Mention of the missing angel—and her request for him to make another one—seemed to put him off even more than she had anticipated.
Or, Lani silently speculated, maybe what was really bothering him was that he had allowed his guard to drop, had allowed her to slip in, however briefly, through a crack, and he had found himself reacting to her the way a regular man reacted to a woman. Though the idea thrilled her, she was doing her best not to let him see that. Knowing Garrett, he would take it as gloating on her part, and nothing could be further from the truth.
“No.” He all but snapped out the word, not even bothering to consider her request to make another angel.
Impatience zigzagged through her. Lani stepped away from the tree and, lowering her voice, asked incredulously, “How can you say that?” She just couldn’t understand how he could take that position. What would it take for him to make another one? A few hours? Some concentration? It wasn’t as if she was asking to him to donate one of his kidneys. “Seeing that angel would mean so much to her.”
“No,” he repeated, his face an impassive mask that nonetheless sent a chill through her heart. “And I’ll keep saying it until it finally gets through to you.”
Refusing to give up, Lani tried to reason with him. “Look, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just the effort would be enough for her. It would tie her to her mother.” Lani looked at him, willing him to understand. “Just the way that angel obviously tied her mother to you.”
Each word Lani uttered just made Garrett feel guiltier. Not for refusing to carve the angel, but for not trying to find Ellen while he still could have. For turning his back on the situation and ignoring his sister.
Even when Ellen had called to tell him that her husband, along with two other marines, had been killed overseas by a roadside bomb, Garrett hadn’t instantly suggested she come back here to live. He’d been distant and cold, offended, he supposed, that Ellen had chosen someone who was cruel and abusive to her over him, her brother. She’d had to come out and ask him if he could put her up for a little while until she got on her feet again.
Now it was too late to make amends for that. And this woman wouldn’t stop harping on it, wouldn’t stop depositing salt into the open, gaping wound that refused to heal.
“Why don’t you just butt out and mind your own business?” he demanded angrily. “Don’t you have a father to go to?”
Lani felt as if Garrett had just punched her in the gut. Sensing that Ellie was watching them, she held it together and kept her voice down. “I told him I’d be by later. He understands what I’m trying to do here—”
“And just what is it you’re trying to do here—besides take over my life?” Garrett asked, his temper flaring more with each passing moment.
“Taking over your life?” Lani echoed, stunned. “Is that what you think?”
“Yeah, that’s what I think.”
She’d been ordering him around ever since Ellie had come into the picture. And even before that, she’d acted as if she was the one with the experience, the know-how, and not him. She was the big city detective and he was just a small-town hick sheriff.
“And I’m sick of it,” he told her. “Sick of you acting as if you know what’s best not just for Ellie, but for me, too.” He glared at her, knowing he had to get out of the house before he said something they might both really regret. “But you don’t know what’s best for me. Only I do.” He was all but shouting now. Struggling to get a grip on his temper, he told her in a voice that was deadly calm, “I need you to stay with Ellie because I’m going out.”
And without waiting for her to agree, he grabbed his jacket from the back of the sofa where he had dropped it earlier, and stormed from the house.
He left Lani staring, dumbfounded, at the door that had just slammed in his wake.
Chapter Nine
Lani sat on the worn, tan sofa, staring into the flames that were flickering weakly in the fireplace. The fire was coming very close to dying out.
Just like her optimism.
She let another huge sigh escape. It didn’t help. Her heart ached.
Idiot!
The derogatory term was meant more for herself than for the still-missing sheriff.
She hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it had. Here, in the wee hours of the night, with no one else around, Lani had to be honest with herself and admit to what she’d done.
She’d gone and fallen in love with the remote Garrett Tanner.
Attracted though she was by his brooding, dark good looks, it was that wounded soul inside that had called out to her and captured her. And held her prisoner.
She had always been a sucker for wounded souls, trying to help them heal. Whether stray animals or a stray person, she wanted to fix them, to bring them around so that they could stop hurting, eventfully fit in and ultimately be happy.
Looks like you failed your little errand of mercy this time.
Garrett had been a far harder challenge than a stray dog or abused cat, she thought ruefully. As she’d learned the hard way, he obviously didn’t want to be brought around or fixed. He had never made that clearer than when he’d stormed out of the house earlier this evening.
She’d been by turns stunned and then really hurt by that dark flash of temper he’d displayed. Walking out on her—in effect on them, her and Ellie—had been the final straw. Even so, she’d spent the first hour or so expecting Garrett to come back, to realize just how wrong he was to lose his temper like that, and apologize to her, in some manner if not outright.
But after a couple hours had gone by, it became painfully apparent that he wasn’t about to regain his senses and come back.
“Your timing stinks,” Lani murmured, talking to the man who wasn’t there. Tomorrow was Christmas. Christmas, for heaven’s sake. What was she going to tell Ellie when the little girl realized that her uncle wasn’t there, and asked about him? When she realized that her only living relative had made himself scarce on a day that was so very important to her?
Lani could feel her eyes stinging, and angrily brushed away the tears that fell. He wasn’t worth crying over, she told herself, gathering her anger around her like a shield.
Well, at least she could give Ellie the illusion that Santa Claus had come, she thought, drawing in a lungful of air as she tried to focus on the little girl and nothing else.
Pulling herself together, Lani rose from the sofa and went out to her car. She popped open the trunk and took out what she’d packed up earlier—an entire sack filled with gifts. Gifts intended for Ellie, and a couple for the hardheaded sheriff, as well.
She brought the sack into the house. After listening carefully to make sure that Ellie hadn’t woken up, she got to work. Keeping one eye trained in the direction of the hallway, alert for any noise that would mean Ellie was up and making her way to the living room, Lani put out the gifts she had
wrapped late last night.
Finished, she hid the sack under the sofa, then made her way over to the side table where Ellie had left a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for Santa Claus. The cookies, which Lani and Ellie had made yesterday, felt as if they were sticking to the roof of her mouth as she consumed them. It had nothing to do with the quality of baking and everything to do with the disheartened way she felt.
Damn him for making her fall in love with him, Lani thought unhappily. Draining the glass, she stopped to check for any telltale lipstick stains along the rim. There weren’t any.
Very carefully, she put the glass down next to the empty plate. Stepping back, Lani slowly surveyed the area. Everything was in place.
“At least someone will have a good Christmas,” she murmured under her breath.
Feeling incredibly empty, Lani took out her cell phone. Perching on the arm of the sofa, she called her father. The phone on the other end rang three times and then she heard it pick up.
A deep male voice said, “Hello?”
Closing her eyes, she could visualize him. He was her haven. He always had been. “Hi, Gunny. Did I wake you?”
“No,” he told her, and then chuckled. “I was just sitting here, remembering the way your mother used to run around at the last minute, trying to get all her shopping done before they closed the stores. She always acted surprised that Christmas came around so fast. Like it didn’t fall on the same day every year.”
Her father’s soft laughter warmed her heart and took some of the chill from it.
“It’s really funny,” he went on, “how the things that drove me crazy back then don’t really seem that big a deal anymore. I’d give anything to see her rushing around just one more time.”
Despite his best efforts to curb it, Lani heard the sadness in his voice. “You miss Mom a lot, don’t you, Gunny?”
“Can’t even begin to tell you how much,” he admitted. “But at least I get to see her every time I look at you.” He paused for a moment, as if debating saying anything, and then asked, “Everything okay, kid?”
She saw no reason to put on an act. She and Gunny had no secrets from one another. Part of the reason she’d called was to get strength from his comfort and support. “Tanner and I had an argument.”
“I see.” There was another pause, and when he spoke, he didn’t say what she’d expected him to. “It’s what keeps life interesting, honey. Especially when you get to make up,” he added with a chuckle.
Lani pressed her lips together, recalling the one fiery kiss she and Garrett had shared. Since that time, she’d been aching for another. Aching for the two of them to come together the way a man and a woman were intended to.
Damn him, anyway.
“I don’t think there’s going to be any making up in my future, Gunny,” she confessed sadly.
“Oh?”
More than curiosity, she heard concern in her father’s deep voice. “Tanner said he was sick of me acting like I knew what was best for him. He said a lot of other things, too. I think I’m driving him crazy,” she admitted, banking down a wave of frustration.
“Your mother drove me crazy, too,” her father confessed, telling Lani something she hadn’t been aware of. “And right now, I miss it like hell. What Tanner said to you, kid, they’re only words,” he assured her. “The bottom line is how does he actually feel about you—and how do you feel about him? That’s all that counts, Lani.” And then, to spare her any further grief, her father changed the subject. “I take it you’re not coming over tonight.”
It was late, but that wouldn’t have stopped her normally. However, her sense of obligation did. “Tanner walked out in a huff, told me to stay with Ellie. He’s still not back….”
“I get the picture.” Her father was quick to absolve her from any residual guilt she might be entertaining. “You just take care of that little girl. I’ll see you tomorrow. If he turns up, bring Mr. Personality over with you and Ellie. Otherwise, let it be just the two of you. I’ve got enough here to feed half the town. No sense in wasting it.”
“Ellie and I will be there,” she assured him. “I really don’t know about the sheriff.”
“I do,” her father said, sounding a great deal more certain than she was at this point. “Get some rest. Now. That’s an order from your old man.”
“Yes, Gunny,” she answered dutifully, her heart brimming with affection.
However, despite the promise, she seriously doubted that she’d be able to sleep a wink, feeling tense as she was.
Hanging up, Lani put away her cell phone and slid onto the sofa cushion. The fire was all but out, but she made no effort to feed it and get it going again. Instead, taking the decorative blanket from the back of the sofa, she wrapped it around herself like a brilliantly colored cocoon.
Lani leaned back, willing her mind to stop racing. It didn’t help. She resigned herself to being up all night.
SHE DIDN’T REMEMBER her eyes closing.
But they must have, because the next thing she knew, along with the sunlight, Ellie was in the room, all but bouncing up and down and excitedly declaring, “He came, Lani, he came! Santa Claus came! I didn’t think Santa would find me because I’m not in California anymore, but he did! He tracked me down and found me. Santa came!” She clapped her hands together in glee.
Lani stretched, quickly trying to focus her thoughts. The ache in her heart dissipated somewhat in the face of the little girl’s excitement.
At least you made Ellie happy. That’s all that counts, she told herself.
Lani smiled at her. “Santa Claus can always find children no matter where they go. It’s his job. He wants to make sure that they all get their presents.”
Ellie’s head bobbed up and down, her eyes shining. “And did you see? Santa found the angel, too!” she cried happily.
Maybe she was still asleep, Lani thought. She could have sworn she’d heard Ellie talking about the angel she’d lost. “What?”
Ellie was pointing to the top of the tree. “He found it. He found Mama’s angel. Look!” she said breathlessly, hopping from foot to foot.
Bracing herself, Lani raised her eyes to see what the girl was pointing at.
Her mouth fell open.
There, on top of the tree, was a wooden angel dressed in a resplendent gown. The figure had been painted, so that its hair was gold and its gown the light blue color Ellie had talked about.
How…?
“Lucky thing this is December and there’re no flies around, or an entire swarm would have gotten into your mouth by now.”
Startled, Lani swung around and saw Garrett coming in from the kitchen, carrying an overloaded tray in his hands. There were three plates, each with a stack of waffles, complete with syrup, and pats of butter in the center, vying for space on the tray.
The man was bringing them breakfast. He was bringing her breakfast. Now she knew she had to be dreaming. The Sheriff Garrett Tanner she knew wouldn’t have been caught dead making breakfast—or letting anyone find out that he had made it not just for himself and his niece, but for her as well.
Chapter Ten
“Did you see the angel, Uncle Garrett?” Ellie cried excitedly. She could barely tear her eyes away from it as she ran over to him. “Isn’t it the most beautiful angel you ever saw?”
She was as excited as Ellen had been when he’d made one for her, Garrett thought. A bittersweet pang shot through him.
“It certainly is,” he agreed. “Looks like Santa Claus did a better job than I did.”
Ellie placed her little hand on his arm, drawing his attention away from the angel. She shook her head. “No,” she told him solemnly. “Yours was just as pretty as his is. Prettier,” she decided, changing her mind as if she’d made a mental comparison.
Wrapping one arm around Ellie’s shoulders, he gave her a quick hug as warmth filled him. “Thanks,” he told her humbly.
Looking up at him, Ellie smiled. And then, her eyes dancing, she turned h
er attention to the gifts under the tree. The larger pile had her name on the tags. She could hardly contain herself.
“Can I open these now?” she asked, looking from Lani to her uncle as she waited for permission.
Ellie was a great deal more restrained than she had been as a child, Lani thought. Back then, by six in the morning, everything she found with her name on it had had its wrapping paper torn off.
“I don’t see why not. They’re for you,” Lani said. She helped Ellie arrange the piles, then stepped back, joining Garrett. “You do very nice work,” she told him, keeping her voice low.
He pretended to look at her innocently. “Don’t know what you mean.” And then he grinned and confessed, “I almost fell into the damn tree, trying to put the angel on top.”
“My guess is that Ellie’s reaction made it worth all the effort,” she said with confidence. She doubted if Garrett could ever begin to guess how happy he had made her by carving this simple angel for his niece. He’d restored her faith, not just in him but in miracles in general. He had made her Christmas.
Garrett pretended to look disgruntled. “You don’t have to keep grinning like that.”
“Yes, I do,” she contradicted happily. “You turned out to be the Christmas miracle I always believed happened around this time of year.” Stepping nearer to the tree, Lani looked more closely at his workmanship. A lot of detail had gone into carving the figure. Rejoining him, she asked, “Did you get any sleep at all?”
He didn’t answer her directly, but mimicked the way he’d seen her shrug carelessly.
“I can sleep in tomorrow,” Garrett told her. “Not planning on opening up the office until the day after New Year’s.”
“Crime’s taking a holiday to oblige you?” she asked wryly. They both knew that biggest crimes around this time of year amounted to a large number of citizens being guilty of overeating and stealing extra kisses beneath the mistletoe.
“That’s the deal,” he answered solemnly, barely suppressing a smile.
Holiday in a Stetson: The Sheriff Who Found ChristmasA Rancho Diablo Christmas Page 6
