by Abby Green
She could do this. She would do this. And when she walked away from Zafir after this was over, it would be for good.
* * *
Zafir handed over the diamond in its box to Noor and her security team. When he’d closed the door behind them he paced up and down restlessly.
Kat was seriously perplexing him. The fact that she’d choose going back to her rundown neighbourhood over sleeping in luxury was simply inexplicable. Not to mention wanting to fulfil one last shift at that excuse for a restaurant.
Once he’d known that she’d acquiesced to the job, he’d assumed it meant that she was also agreeing to share his bed again. After all, he’d made it explicitly clear that he wanted her. And he knew she still wanted him—it throbbed in the air between them like live electricity.
He scowled at the closed bedroom door. So what was she up to? The sum of money she’d already received was enough for her to seriously upgrade her life. And yet just now, when he’d reminded her that it was too late for her to walk away, it had almost seemed as if she was reluctantly agreeing to commit to something burdensome—not embarking on a journey to one of the easiest paydays she’d ever had in her life.
He had to admit to a niggle of doubt that it was the money she was really interested in, even though he’d long ago come to the conclusion that Kat had refrained from telling him about her massive debt because she’d figured that once they were married he’d have no choice but to clear it for her.
He’d lavished her with gifts, yes, but she’d never seemed as enthralled by them as other women had. She’d get embarrassed, or try to convince him she didn’t need whatever trinket he’d given her. When he’d given her underwear she’d blushed—and just thinking of that now made his body hard.
He went over to the window to look out broodingly. In the aftermath of their last bitter argument he’d summed their relationship up as nothing more than an elaborate act. Kat had been canny enough to try and secure a permanent position in his life before revealing the skeletons in her closet. In a way, with her coming from the background she had, he couldn’t really blame her for developing such survival instincts...
He heard the bedroom door open and turned around to see her emerging, dressed down in a plaid shirt and faded jeans. Sneakers. Her hair was loose, the luxuriant waves tumbling around her shoulders, and his blood leapt. He realised that he preferred it like this—darker. It made her beauty somehow more dramatic, mature.
She was pulling a wheelie suitcase behind her and she caught his look and said defensively, ‘I’m not staying. This is full of the accessories I told the stylists I’d bring from home.’
The uncomfortable assertion that she really wasn’t playing hard to get made Zafir’s skin prickle. He walked across the room and saw how she tensed visibly, her hand clutching the handle of the suitcase. It made something deep inside him roar like an animal. He knew this woman intimately. He’d been her first lover...the first man to bring her to orgasm...
A sense of extreme exposure that he wanted her so much—so much that he’d brought her back into his life and precipitated all these questions—propelled Zafir forward until he had both Kat’s arms in his hands. He barely noticed the suitcase fall to the side because she was no longer holding it.
She was looking up at him, two spots of pink in her cheeks, her eyes huge and wary. Gold and green.
Something dark rose up inside him and he couldn’t hold it back.
‘How many have there been, Kat? How many men have you lain down for and fooled into believing that you’re just a regular woman? Did they know who they were sleeping with? That the woman with her legs wrapped around their hips was really—’
‘Stop it.’
Kat was as rigid as a board under his hands. ‘How dare you? Who I have or haven’t slept with is none of your business. I don’t want the sordid details of your lovers, who I’ve no doubt you made sure met your exacting standards of moral integrity.’
Zafir’s pulse thundered as Kat’s sweetly evocative scent tantalised him. The only woman he wanted was glaring at him and shooting gold sparks from her eyes.
He forced out through the hunger raging in his blood, ‘Quite frankly, I’m a lot less fixated on moral integrity this time around.’
A shiver ran through Kat’s body and Zafir felt it.
‘There is no this time. This is just a job for me—that’s all. I’m not interested in anything else.’
Everything in Zafir rejected that, and he lifted one hand to cup Kat’s delicate jawline. Just the silken brush of her hair against the back of his hand had his body hardening all over again.
‘Why are you denying this, Kat? Whatever is between us, it’s mutual. And it’s even stronger than before.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s not mutual.’
‘Liar,’ Zafir breathed, as every part of his body went on fire with an urgent and undeniable desire to prove Kat wrong. And along with that desire he felt something much more dangerous: emotion.
To block it out, deny it, Zafir cupped his hand behind Kat’s neck and drew her to him until he could feel the length of her willowy body pressed against his.
Her hands came up between them to his chest. The wariness and anger was gone, to be replaced by something far more like panic. And why would she be panicky unless he was about to prove her very wrong?
‘Zafir, what are you doing?’
His blood was pounding. ‘I’m proving that once a liar, always a liar...’
And then he bent his head and covered Kat’s mouth with his, and for the first time in eighteen months the roaring savage heat inside him was momentarily soothed.
Under the intense carnal satisfaction to be tasting her again was that emotion and a kind of relief. As if he’d found his way back to some place he’d been looking for. It was so profound and overwhelming that for long seconds Zafir didn’t even deepen the kiss—he just relished the sensation of Kat’s soft, lush mouth under his.
And then she made a soft mewling sound and Zafir fell over the brink of his control and hauled Kat even closer, kissing her deep enough to see stars.
Time stood still. The earth might have stopped rotating. All Zafir was aware of was the feel of Kat’s curves against his body, the stiffness of his arousal cushioned against her soft belly...and the desire to stop at nothing until he was deeply embedded between her legs and she was crying out his name as her climax sent them both into orbit.
It took a second for Zafir to realise that Kat had torn her mouth away and was pushing against his chest, breathing heavily enough for him to feel her breasts move against him. He almost growled. He felt feral.
She pushed hard and dislodged Zafir’s arms, stumbling slightly as she stepped back. Her eyes were molten, her mouth was swollen and her cheeks were flushed, and the only thing keeping Zafir from reaching for her again was the knowledge that he’d already exposed himself.
‘I do not want this, Zafir. I won’t deny that the attraction between us is still there—’
Zafir snorted at the understatement and Kat’s eyes turned steely.
‘But I am not going there with you again. We had our moment and it’s over. And unless you can promise to keep things between us on a professional footing I’ll have no choice but to back out of our agreement and return the money you’ve already paid me. Don’t think I won’t, Zafir. The money is important to me, but not as important as not making the same mistake twice.’
No one spoke to Zafir like this. No one considered him a mistake.
But then an echo of his brother’s voice whispered from the past, angry...
‘Sara was a mistake, Zafir, our parents didn’t even pretend to grieve when she died. Her life had no value because she couldn’t rule when she came of age. They betrayed her more than you’ll ever understand...’
Zafir pushed the past away, and with it the familiar ache of longing and disconnection. That ache shamed him, because he was above such weakness, or should be. He had to be. And he also ruthlessly shu
t out the niggling pain that his brother hadn’t confided in him more.
Salim had shut Zafir out long ago, pursuing a life of debauched irresponsibility. Laughing in the face of his responsibilities. It was love that had done that to his brother—albeit sibling love. The twins had had their own little world, exclusive to everyone around them—even Zafir. And after Sara had died Salim had never been the same.
Seeing his brother’s reaction to Sara’s death, witnessing the pain of losing that intense bond, had bred within Zafir a lifelong desire to protect himself against such deep investment in another person. It appalled him that you could lose yourself like that.
Kat was looking at him now, and Zafir took a step back—as much from the intensity flowing between them as from his unwelcome reflections. He didn’t appreciate Kat’s ultimatum, but at the same time he didn’t want to reveal the extent of his need. He’d already revealed too much. However, he could not let her rewrite their history.
He folded his arms. ‘What happened between us was not a mistake, Kat. We were both adults, acting on mutual desire. The fact that it ended as it did was as much your responsibility as it was mine. You kept truths from me and I shouldn’t have trusted you so easily.’
Kat seemed to go pale in the low lights of the room. ‘Let’s just leave it at that, then.’
Something in Zafir rebelled at that. ‘By all means—if you think we can leave the past in the past. I, however, happen to believe that sooner or later you’ll have to admit we have a present too.’
Kat bent down and picked up the handle of her suitcase. She looked at Zafir. ‘The only present we have is a professional one, Zafir.’
For now, he told himself silently as he came forward and took Kat’s suitcase out of her hand, leading her out of the suite and to his car downstairs.
She got into the car without looking at him once, keeping her face averted. Only that lingering sense of exposure stopped him from pulling her back out of the car to show her what a mockery this professionalism was.
He’d arrogantly assumed resuming a physical relationship with Kat would be easy. He couldn’t have been more wrong. And yet he wasn’t dissuaded. If anything, this pared down and feisty Kat was sparking his desire in a far deeper way than she ever had before.
As he watched his car slide away from the kerb and into the evening traffic he told himself that she wouldn’t be able to hold out against this insane chemistry for long.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘KAT, YOU LOOK...AMAZING.’
Kat heard the thickness in her friend’s voice and tried not to let it affect her. She was having a hard enough time just breathing, and said shakily, ‘Jules, I really don’t know if I’m ready for this.’
Julie came and stood between Kat and the full-length mirror in the hotel suite bedroom, where Kat had returned some hours ago with her bags packed for the trip. They would leave tomorrow for London.
Kat was wearing the black velvet dress again. Her hair was in the chignon and her make-up had just been completed. Everyone had left, so now it was just the two of them.
Her petite blonde friend took Kat’s hand in a firm grip and looked up at her steadily. ‘I wouldn’t push you if you weren’t ready, Kat. But you are. You can’t keep hiding from the world.’
Kat bit her lip to stop herself asking plaintively, But this job? Now? She looked at her reflection over her friend’s head and saw the panicked look in her eyes, and forced herself to take in a breath.
Just then there was a knock on the door. Kat loved her friend for not jumping to answer it immediately, waiting to get a nod from Kat first. Gratitude made her chest swell because she knew that if she truly wanted to walk out of here right now her friend would support her. But she didn’t want to let her down. And she didn’t want to let the rehab centre down.
She could do this.
Before Julie had even opened the door Kat knew who it was. Heat prickled over her skin. And, sure enough, when it swung back Zafir was there, filling the space effortlessly. He was dressed in a tuxedo and he was ridiculously gorgeous. And, even though Kat had seen him dressed like this before, it was still a shock to the system to behold such a formidable specimen of masculine perfection.
It was also the first time she’d seen him since yesterday, and the memory of that kiss made her pulse pound unevenly. Coming to terms with the resurrection of her sexual awareness was something she really hadn’t expected to have to deal with for a long time. And yet it rushed through her now like an unstoppable wave.
Zafir was holding the necklace in his hand and he lifted it up. ‘May I?’
Kat nodded dumbly and tensed against Zafir’s effect on her as he walked in and came behind her, raising his hands up and over her head so that he could tie the clasp at the back of her neck.
The necklace felt warm and heavy against her skin and Kat touched it unconsciously. Julie’s blue eyes had grown comically large and round as she took in the gem nestling against Kat’s skin.
Kat looked at her reflection in the mirror and for a moment she was mesmerised too by the glowing red heart-shaped jewel. It did look somehow alive.
And then she raised her eyes and her gaze snagged on Zafir’s. Those dark grey depths were focused solely on her. Not even looking at the gem. She swallowed. He was very close behind her, she could feel his heat, and only for the fact that Julie was still there, effectively acting as chaperone, stopped Kat from taking a step away.
He was the one finally to step back, and Kat breathed in shakily.
He went and stood beside Julie. ‘You look stunning.’
She was glad he hadn’t said perfect.
He extended his arm towards the door. ‘Shall we? My driver is waiting.’
As Kat stepped forward her friend touched her arm and mouthed good luck. And then it was just Kat and Zafir, stepping out of the suite to where the security team were waiting, looking serious and alert.
Noor got into the elevator with them, and Kat was relieved not to be alone in the small space with Zafir. When they got out on ground level they were ushered straight to Zafir’s car, and Kat instinctively arranged the long dress over her left leg, conscious of her prosthetic limb. It had been a long time since she’d felt so undressed.
Thankfully Zafir had to take a call on his mobile as they cut through the early-evening Manhattan traffic, giving Kat time to gather herself before entering back into the fray in spectacular fashion.
By the time they pulled up in front of the iconic Metropolitan Museum Zafir was off his phone, and the palms of her hands were clammy with sweat. It got worse when she saw the hordes of paparazzi and reporters and other people already lining the red carpet in their finery.
Zafir touched her bare arm and she looked at him.
‘Okay?’
Kat nodded jerkily. ‘Fine.’
She’d never been less fine in her life.
‘Just follow my lead.’
Zafir got out of the car then, and came around to Kat’s side, opening the door and helping her out. Once again she was glad of the dress disguising her leg as she stood up and wobbled for a moment. Zafir’s hand was on her arm again, holding her steady.
She stepped up onto the sidewalk and they moved forward. As people noticed who they were a hush seemed to fall over the crowd for a split-second, and then all hell broke loose as they walked onto the red carpet.
Zafir had tucked Kat’s arm over his and she wasn’t aware of how tightly she was holding on, she was being blinded by all the bright flashes going off in her face.
For a moment she was paralysed, and then Zafir’s deep voice sounded in her ear, saying calmly, ‘Start walking and smile—that’s all you have to do.’
And suddenly she was moving, propelled forward by Zafir. They stopped periodically to let photographers take pictures, and Zafir stood back to let Kat be photographed on her own.
After a few long torturous minutes Kat found herself relaxing slightly, as if a long unused muscle was coming back to life. She k
new how to do this—how to project a smiling façade. She’d done it for years. And slowly the ability returned.
And then someone shouted out, ‘Where have you been, Kat? Are you and Zafir back together?’ and all her fragile confidence shattered.
She stumbled, but Zafir was there in an instant, steadying her again. He replied to the questions smoothly and authoritatively.
‘Persuading Kat Winters out of retirement was an unexpected coup and we’re delighted she’s working with us for this diplomatic trip. As for our relationship—that’s none of anyone’s business except our own.’
Eventually they reached the end of the red carpet. Kat was ready to crawl under a rock, but the evening hadn’t even started yet. And she was angry.
She pulled away from Zafir and looked up at him, saying in a low voice, ‘You could have shut down their questions about our relationship more comprehensively.’
Zafir just looked at her explicitly. ‘I could have.’
But I didn’t.
He didn’t have to bother saying that part. Before she could react, though, he put her arm firmly in his again and propelled her forward to the main entrance of the function room. Her anger dissolved into panic at the sight of the packed room.
He stopped there for a second and looked at her again. ‘Ready?’
No! she wanted to blurt out, but if she turned and ran she’d only have to face the red carpet again. There was literally nowhere to go except forward.
Not liking how symbolic this moment felt, Kat nodded jerkily and they stepped over the threshold of the room, its doors being held open by pristinely uniformed butlers.
Much like the hush outside when they’d arrived, as soon as they stepped in through the doorway everyone turned to look and there was an audible intake of breath. Kat realised that a spotlight rested on her—undoubtedly it was to showcase the diamond, not her, but she still felt utterly exposed.
Zafir took her arm from his and stepped to the side, leaving her feeling ridiculously bereft for a second. Then she heard his strong voice say, ‘May I present to you Kat Winters and the Heart of Jandor?’
