Poison Shake
a Three Scoops Ice Cream Shop short cozy
Lisbeth Reade
PUBLISHED BY:
Lisbeth Reade
Copyright © 2015
LisbethReade.com
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced in any format, by any means, electronic or otherwise, without prior consent from the copyright owner and publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, names, places and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously.
Table of Contents is located at the end of the book.
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CHAPTER ONE
Great. Just great. Of all the times for my wedding ring to fall off my finger, does it really have to be while I’m hunting for condom wrappers? Not mine, of course, or any that stupid, cheating, lying David used with me. I just need to find out if that ‘unknown caller’ creeptastic voice mail is accurate or not. Is David cheating? I’m going to find out.
I crouch down on my hands and knees, flip up the corner of the purple comforter on our queen sized bed, and hunt under the frame for not only my ring but any incriminating evidence David may have left behind.
Leave it to him to do it with some skank mistress in our own bed. Not that I want him to do it with a skank mistress anywhere, but geez, have the decency to take it elsewhere. This is our bed. Our marriage. Two is company but three is a crowd.
There’s my ring! I stretch my arm as far as I can. My fingers just barely scrape the cold edges of my wedding ring as I pull it toward me. I almost have it pulled to safety, when the side of my hand catches on something in the process. I turn my head to see.
A small, square crumbled up piece of something is just…waiting. Waiting for me to find it, I bet.
David was never very good at covering his tracks yet, at the same time, he was never very good at being a good husband. There were always other women. I realize this now. David likes the excitement. The thrill of the chase. Once he caught me and put a ring on it, I was old news. I bet he’d be all for polygamy if it was legal.
I pull my head, shoulders, arms and the crumbled up paper out from under the bed and sit up on my knees. No matter what problems we have, my finger still feels naked without my wedding ring on it. I sigh as I slip the ring back on before turning all my attention to the paper.
Davey-kins — Loved last night. Love you even more. XOXO Me
Davey-kins? Ugh. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Not so much because of my creepy ‘private caller’ being right or that my suspicions are fully realized, but because this cutesy crap is so not him. Whoever this ‘me’ person is must be beyond great in bed for David to stomach being called “Davey-kins.”
I stand and dig through his socks and underwear drawer just in case I missed anything from Miss XOXO Me. Nothing. There’s only one thing left to do.
Confront Davey-kins himself.
CHAPTER TWO
“Honey, I’m home!” David slams the door leading from the garage into the house shut. “Honey? Where are you at?”
“Where have you been at?” I call from the kitchen. “Or — better yet — who have you been in?”
“What?” David appears in the kitchen entryway. To his credit, he manages to frown and look super confused. Maybe he’s just caught off guard. Being caught in a web of lies does that to a person.
“Let me refresh your memory.” I set down the knife I’m holding just in case I’m tempted to use it for anything more than cutting veggies. “‘Davey-kins — Loved last night. Love you even more. XOXO Me.’ Does that ring any bells?”
“Maddy, it’s not what you think.” Of course his go-to stance is denial. He’s in more denial than I am. “She’s a friend. We’ve had business trips together. She loves me like a friend — a brother even. You wouldn’t screw your brother, right? Well, I’m not going to screw someone who’s like a sister to me.”
“Who is she?” I point a wooden spoon at David. “And don’t think you can turn on the charm and expect me to believe you, David. I’m not stupid — even if you think I am. I may have fallen for all your lies and BS before, but I’m not that naive kid anymore. I’m an adult. At least have the common decency to treat me like one.”
He sighs and sits down at the kitchen table. “Do you really want the truth?”
“I just asked for it, didn’t I?”
David shakes his head. “No, I mean think about it, Maddy. Do you really want the truth? Do you really want to destroy everything we’ve worked for? Your milk shake and bakery store is finally taking off and my security biz is booming. Do you really want to ruin all that? We can keep something like this secret, but once it’s out there buzzing around for the gossips to grab at, our reputations — our everything — will be gone.”
“You should have thought of that before you started screwing anything that moves.”
He frowns. “Come on now. That’s not fair. Do you really think I care about you so little that I’d become a total horn dog? I’m discrete, remember? I run a fricking security business. I know how to not get caught.”
I lean against the counter and cross my arms over my chest. “Well, you should check into how secure your company is because someone tipped me off.”
“They did wha—”
“Enough!” I cut him off. “Maybe it’s your little bit on the side, but someone knows what you’ve been up to and they wanted to make sure I knew it too.”
“What did they say?”
“Not important,” I insist. “What’s important is you finally telling me the truth. I can handle it, David. I’m not going to break.”
“But you did break,” he reminds me. “Don’t you remember? That’s the whole reason we moved out here, Maddy. We needed to start over again. You broke down. I caused it then and I don’t want to cause it now.”
“Unless you’re sleeping with my sister, I think I can handle it.”
He’s a little too quiet and too look-everywhere-but-at-me for my liking. I throw up my hands in disgust.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Becka? You’re screwing Becka?!?”
“What? No! No!” He makes a face like I suggested he was doing the neighbor’s dog instead of my sister Becka. “I mean, no offense to Becka, but she’s not my type.”
“And who is your type?”
“You, Maddy. It’s always been you.”
David stands and walks across the kitchen. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind and leans his chin on my shoulder. He rocks us back and forth like it’s junior prom and we’re actually happy or — at the very least — carefree. What I wouldn’t give to go back to being those carefree teenagers with the world laid out in front of them. Instead, we turned into fragile, suspicious adults that hide all our pain behind masks of public and professional success. All the success in the world can’t fix what’s really broken — ourselves.
I blink back tears at David’s words. “I remember when you said that and actually meant it.”
“I do mean it,” he says. “I meant it then and I mean it now. You’re the only one for me.”
“If I’m the only one, why do you keep things from me? If you’re unhappy in any way, let me know David. We can fix it together. We can fix anything, righ
t? Why not trust that and help fix our marriage.”
“I will. I promise.” He turns his head to kiss my cheek. “From today on, I promise.”
CHAPTER THREE
I want to believe David, just like every other time he’s said those honey sweet words. “I promise” should be his mantra. There’s always something to promise to do better and, yet, he never does. What he should say is “I’ll try” so he doesn’t have to break yet another promise to me.
“I can’t believe you thought I’d seriously sleep with David,” my sister Becka complains. “I mean seriously…David? I have two words for you — yuck and gross.”
“Thanks a lot, Becka. I’m married to the guy, remember?” I wipe down the counter of Three Scoops, my finally-getting-noticed ice cream parlor plus bakery. I’ve needed something, something to take my mind off of our real reason for moving here and the business was just the thing to throw all my time and energy into. No housewife role for me — I’m a businesswoman.
“Yeah, and remind me again why you stick with him.” Becka sips at her chocolate milk shake. “He’s like a grown man with a teenage brain. No, it’s like if a zombie wasn’t after brains but fed off of sex. ‘Seeeex. Need more seeeeex..’”
I throw my cleaning cloth at her. “Very funny. Mind saying that a little louder? The customers by the front window didn’t hear you.”
Becka throws my cleaning cloth right back at me. “I’m serious. I bet that’s the real reason he encouraged you to open this place. If you’re busy with the ice cream parlor, you can’t get on his case for all his affairs.”
“Becka! Customers, remember?”
She shrugs, unconcerned that airing my dirty laundry might – okay, definitely will — be bad for business. “A little drama is good for the business. I know if I was just some random person looking for a place to hang out, I’d pick the spot where there’s the best chance of a little fireworks to liven up my boring existence. Everyone loves drama, Maddy — even if they don’t admit it. Sex sells, but so does gossip. There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”
“If you say so.”
I look up as the door chimes a new customer’s arrival. The blonde with the legs that just wouldn’t quit looks familiar. Where have I seen her before? She takes off her sunglasses and shakes her mane of blonde perfection. I half expect everything to turn to slow motion or a theme song to start playing as she walks across the tile floor to the counter. She sits down next to Becka before giving me a tight lipped semi-catty smile.
“Hey, Maddy. Do you remember me?”
“Should I?”
“Dana. Dana Mason. I work with David.”
She taps her ample chest in a Me-Dana-You-Maddy gesture. I try not to throw up all over her pushup bra cleavage. That would be bad for business. Seriously, girl, button up. I don’t need to see the lacy husband-bait you call a bra poking through those very possibly fake human floatation devices.
“Oh, right, Dana!” I plaster a super chipper “Three Scoops Ice Cream, what can I get for you?” smile on my face. “I’m glad you stopped in to
She glances down at the menu but doesn’t seem to actually read it. Maybe she can’t read. The bigger your boobs are, the smaller your brain is. “What do you suggest?”
“The double chocolate fudge is popular,” I say. It’s also my favorite, but I don’t mention that.
“Sure. Sounds good. I’ll try a large of that.”
The phone rings as I’m mixing the shake. I go in back to answer it. “Three Scoops Ice Cream Parlor, Maddy speaking.”
“Be careful what you wish for.”
A metallic buzz fills my ear as the caller hands up. That was weird. Almost as weird as my ‘unknown caller’ creeper on my home number. Could it be the same person?
I shrug off any of my fears and concerns and head back to the restaurant side of the ice cream parlor. I stick a straw in Dana’s double chocolate fudge shake and set it on the counter in front of her.
“One double chocolate fudge shake.” I smile to show her perfect hair and massive ta-tas don’t intimidate me. “Enjoy.”
“Thanks. I’m sure I will.”
Dana sucks down the shake in record time. I lean back against the shake mixer and just watch her. It seems a little strange that a hot co-worker of David’s just happens to decide to come to Three Scoops. I don’t mind the business; I do mind any ulterior motive.
“What’s your deal, Dana?” I ask. “Why are you really here?”
“What?” She gives me that thin, oh-so-fake smile again. “Wanting a milk shake isn’t reason enough for coming in?”
“Not with you,” I say. “With you, there’s something more going on under the surface. Tell me already. I know you want to.”
“Fine.” Dana stands and flips her perfect mane of blondeness over her shoulder. It reminds me of when peacocks try to show off by flaring their colorful tail feathers. “I just thought you should know what your husband has been up to when he claims he works late at night. He’s not really working. At least, not on typical security business. “
“And you know this because—?”
“I’m there with him nights,” she says. “I’m with him more nights than you are. XOXO Me.”
My mouth drops open at such a casual mention of the note I found crumbled up under the bed. “It’s you isn’t it?”
“Oh, honey, it’s always been me.” Dana does one last intimidation hair fluff before strutting toward the door.
Only she doesn’t make it all the way to the door. She drops dead instead.
CHAPTER FOUR
“For the last time, I didn’t kill her. When would I have time to poison her shake?”
I’m seated in the tiny, windowless interrogation room at the police station. Officer Armstrong — the kind of tall, dark, and handsome sort of guy you only expect to be in romance novels — sits across from me. He’s clicking the cap of his pen up and down in that super annoying click-click-click way that, to me, is on par with nails down a blackboard. If he’s trying to intimidate me into telling them what they want to hear, that’s not going to happen. If he’s trying to annoy me into confessing, I just might do that. Anything to get the noise to stop.
“In my experience, Maddy, there’s always time to take down a rival,” he says. I know I shouldn’t be thinking this since I’m, you know, possibly about to be arrested for murder, but Officer Armstrong has the brightest, bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re like the sky and ocean all rolled into one. It reminds me of why Becka and I like to call him Officer Hotness.
“She’s not my rival,” I insist. “I don’t even know Dana.”
“But she knows you or, should I say, she knows your husband.” Officer Hotness glances down at his notepad. “How long did you know about the affair?”
“What affair?”
“Don’t play dumb with me!” He slams his coffee mug down on the metal table. The sound makes me jump. “You couldn’t stand the competition so decided to do away with the woman poised to take your husband, isn’t that right?”
I shake my head and bite down on my lower lip. It’s about all I can do to stop myself from crying. “No. It’s not true at all. I found out yesterday that David was having an affair. I didn’t know with whom. Even if I did, I wouldn’t poison anyone. I’m not a criminal.”
“Save it for the judge.”
Oh. Em. Gee. Judge? Are they going to arrest me? Am I going to be thrown into some cell with all sorts of tough looking chicks straight out of ‘Orange Is The New Black’ just ready to make me their prison slave? Maybe I should drink a poison milk shake myself before letting that happen.
“You can’t arrest her without proof.” It’s Becka, dressed in her I’m-A-Lawyer best. I have never been more excited to see my little sister than at this exact moment. “Let her go before I file a false imprisonment charge against the police department.”
Officer Hotness narrows his eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
Becka crosses her arms over he
r chest and taps her high-heeled shoe on the tiled floor. “Watch me.”
“Can I go now?” I stand and look to Becka for confirmation. She nods. Officer Hotness doesn’t try to stop me. I am so, so out of here.
CHAPTER FIVE
If someone had told me last week, or even yesterday, that I’d be accused of murder and forced to team up with my lawyer sister and cheating husband to find the real killer, I wouldn’t have believed it. I still don’t believe it.
“Okay, seriously, do the cops have to be so obvious about casing the joint?” I brush the kitchen curtain aside to peek out at the cop car that keeps driving up and down our street. “Don’t they have anything better to do, like find the real killer?”
“You’re the best lead they have right now, Maddy,” Becka says. “Like it or not, you have the most motive. She was screwing your husband.”
“Objection!” David protests. “Don’t talk like I’m not sitting right here.”
Becka purses her lips like a constipated super model. “What’s your side of the story, David? Did anyone at the station bother to ask you that?”
He shook his head. “The cops are so focused on Maddy, they could care less what I do.”
“Creekside Hills finest at your service.” Becka ruffled a hand through her nearly perfect mahogany colored hair. “I’m surprised no one has called them out on that oversight before now. Sure, it’s good to make sure your number one suspect doesn’t get away, but they also owe to everyone — including the victim — to investigate everyone.”
“I’ll be sure to remind them of that on their customer service survey.” I push the curtain back so the latest in the parade of cop cars can watch me watching them. Even from this distance, I see a flash of a familiar handsome profile — Office Hotness. So he’s going to be my jailor in all this? Typical.
“Why don’t you tell us what — if anything — was really going on with Dana?” Becka asks David.
David shrugs. “You saw her. She’s hot. I was hot for her until the whole so-called romance got stale. I made my usual excuse — ‘I’m sticking with my wife’ — and she went overboard. She called, texted, emailed…Whatever she could do to harass me without getting the cops suspicious. When I didn’t play her games, she went after Maddy.”
Poison Shake: A Three Scoops Ice Cream Shop Short Story (Three Scoops Ice Cream Shop Cozy Short Stories Book 1) Page 1
