by Amy Lillard
“Not all afternoon,” she corrected.
“Would you like to meet him?” Andrew asked. “I could introduce you.”
Nadine laughed, but it was a forced sound. “Whatever for?” She shook her head. “No thank you.” She needed to shut her mouth and say no more before she found herself having supper with the man. She was as nervous as a schoolgirl.
“Are you sure about that?” Titus asked.
She waved away his question with the flutter of one hand. “Positive.” She turned to Jenna. “You’re coming to supper tonight, jah?” She had to change the subject and quick.
“That’s the plan.” Jenna beamed. She really did seem happy, happier than Nadine had seen her since the accident. Who would have known that, when they moved down from Kansas, Jenna would meet someone who would steal her heart away? It was God’s perfect plan.
Nadine nodded. “We’ll see you at the house.”
She turned away toward the pasture where the horses were kept during the church service. But not before she cast one more look at Amos Fisher.
He was still standing off to one side, watching her with those incredible blue eyes.
* * *
“Why didn’t Buddy come with you?” Nadine asked as she let Jenna into the house.
Her granddaughter grinned. “Am I not enough for you?”
“You know it.” Nadine glanced behind Jenna, out the door to where the buggy waited. Her granddaughter had already unhitched the horse and put her in the pasture. “I just thought it would be nice to visit with him for a while too.” She shut the door, not mentioning the worry she felt at Jenna driving the buggy alone. She hadn’t been driving that long, and though she knew the rules of the road, Nadine still worried. But she would keep those worries to herself. Jenna needed to be allowed more freedoms. After all, she would be getting married soon. Her mother, on the other hand ...
Charlotte came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. “Jenna Gail, are you alone?”
“Jah, Mamm. And I brought rose petal jam and shortbread cookies.” She raised the sack she carried in one hand.
“Rose petal jam, eh?” Nadine asked.
“Jah, we made it ourselves. Me and Abbie and Priscilla.”
“But you came by yourself.” Charlotte was not to be deterred.
“Jah.”
“In the buggy,” Charlotte continued.
“Come eat with us, Charlotte.” Nadine crossed the room as if the devil himself were on her heels. She hooked arms with Charlotte and led her back into the kitchen and the large table. Nadine had to do something before the two of them ended up arguing the afternoon away. Charlotte did her best when it came to giving Jenna the freedom she deserved, but as far as Jenna was concerned, it was never enough. And that’s exactly why Jenna had moved out.
“Have you ever eaten rose petal jam?” Nadine continued.
“I know what you’re doing,” Charlotte whispered for only her to hear.
“Then go along, before your daughter spends the afternoon elsewhere.” Nadine hadn’t normally talked to her daughter-in-law in such a way, but those times were past. At least, they were passing.
Charlotte sighed. “Is this a present for Mammi for her birthday?”
Nadine’s heart gave a heavy thump at the mention of the looming day. Why should she worry about reaching a certain age? She hadn’t felt like this when she turned thirty. Not even fifty or sixty. Why was sixty-five hanging above her like a black cloud of doom?
She shoved those thoughts into a back corner of her mind and prayed for them to stay there. She wasn’t going to let a day get the better of her.
“No, just for a snack.” Jenna set the sack on the table and pulled out the jar of pretty pink jam and a baggie of crumbly shortbread cookies. “But speaking of . . .” She scooted a chair out and plopped down, her smile reaching from ear to ear. “What are we going to do for your birthday?”
“Nothing.” Nadine nearly cringed at the harshness in her tone, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to do anything for her birthday and if she told them that in a nice way, they would think she was just saying that to be polite, or whatever you called it. Coy, maybe? She needed to get her point across. She needed the day to come and to pass without marking it as important at all.
“Oh, come now.” Charlotte sat in the chair opposite and twisted the lid off the jam. “You made this?” She sniffed it tentatively.
“You don’t believe that I made it?” Jenna’s expression turned to a wrinkled frown.
“Of course.” Charlotte shook her head. “I can’t believe that Mammi doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday this year.”
“Why is that so hard to believe?” She was older now. They didn’t have to do something big to celebrate. In fact, they didn’t have to acknowledge it at all. “It’s not like we have to do anything.”
“Isn’t this sixty-five?” Jenna asked.
Thanks for reminding me. “Jah, but I don’t see what bearing that has on the situation.”
“That’s an important birthday,” Charlotte put in.
“No,” she said. “It’s not.” She stopped, once again not realizing the harshness in her tone until it was too late. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be.” She shook her head. She was making a mess of this. “I really don’t want a celebration. Something like this would be perfect.” She pointed toward the cookies and jam. “I don’t need anything more than the two of you.”
“And a cake,” Jenna added.
Nadine smiled. “And a cake.” After all, who didn’t love cake?
* * *
“That one.” Jenna tapped the plastic-covered page with one finger. “Definitely.”
Jodie Miller turned the book around and nodded. “That’s it?”
“Jah.”
Nadine slid into one of the chairs and hid her smile. Jenna had to have a cake, but not just any cake, one of Esther Fitch’s hand-decorated cakes. Nadine would have been just as happy with homemade cupcakes with a little bit of frosting, but since she had set her foot down about her birthday celebration, she supposed this was the least she could do.
“Normally people call ahead for the decorated cakes. Do you want to come back for it?”
Jenna swung around to face her, and Nadine could tell by the way she bit her lip that having to wait had not been part of her plan.
She nodded. The whole thing meant so much to Jenna that Nadine might as well go along. And it wasn’t like she had to run off and get things done.
“I’d rather take it today. If you don’t mind.”
“No problem,” Jodie said. “This design is pretty simple. It’ll take me about thirty minutes to an hour.”
“We can have a cup of coffee while we wait.” That used to be the hook to draw Jenna in. Charlotte didn’t like for Jenna to drink coffee, and Nadine would allow her a cup from time to time when Charlotte wasn’t around. But now that Jenna was living on her own, sort of, she could have all the coffee that she wanted.
“And a cookie?” Jenna asked.
Behind Nadine, the bell on the door rang, signaling that someone else had come into the shop. “We’re about to eat cake,” Nadine said. She was already gaining weight as it was. That was all she needed to pack on the pounds.
“That’s tomorrow.”
“Really, Jenna Gail?”
She frowned at the use of her mother’s name for her. “So that’s a no?” But Jenna’s attention was centered behind Nadine. Not surprising. Since the accident, Jenna sometimes had trouble staying completely on task. It was something she struggled with daily. So far, it hadn’t been a major problem in her life, and those who were around her often had grown accustomed to it.
“That’s a no.”
Jenna turned back to Jodie. “Two coffees please. And the cake.”
Jodie smiled. “Coming right up.”
“What kind of cookie?”
Nadine whirled around in her seat to face the person who had entered. Not that she needed
to look to know who it was. Not after he spoke. Strange as it sounded, she would have known his voice anywhere. Amos Fisher. “She doesn’t need a cookie,” Nadine primly stated.
He shrugged. “No one needs a cookie.”
Jenna slowly approached, walking carefully so as not to spill the coffees she held. She set them on the table, then released a heavy sigh. She had been holding her breath all the way over. “We’re going to have cake later.”
Nadine briefly closed her eyes. Where Jenna was concerned, there were no secrets. It was nothing short of a miracle that she had dated Buddy Miller without anyone knowing. Of course it had only been for a couple of weeks, but still.
“Cake, huh?”
Jenna nodded, then blew across her coffee cup. “Store-bought cake.”
Here it comes.
“What’s the occasion?”
“It’s Mammi’s birthday tomorrow.”
“Oh, jah?”
Nadine did her best not to notice how his blue eyes twinkled when he spoke. She cleared her throat. “Jah.” She tried to make her voice sound bored and disinterested in hopes that he would become bored and disinterested and move on to why he had actually come into the bakery.
“Well, happy birthday. Now I really should buy you a cookie. To celebrate.”
“That’s not necess—”
But her words were cut short as Jenna talked over her. “You can come over tomorrow and have cake with us.” She bounced in her seat like a child. “There will be a ton of people there.” She slapped one hand over her mouth, her eyes filling with tears.
Nadine’s heart broke. She hadn’t wanted a party to begin with, and now spilling the news was hurting Jenna. And Amos Fisher had been invited. Too many emotions all at once.
She inhaled and let it out slowly. “It’s okay, love.” She reached across the table and patted Jenna’s hand.
“I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
Nadine shushed her. “It’s fine. I won’t tell your mamm.”
Jenna sniffed. “I’m sorry I ruined everything for you.”
“Hush, now. You didn’t ruin a thing. In fact, I’m kind of glad you spilled the beans.”
Jenna frowned. “What beans?”
Nadine smiled, but managed to hold back the laugh inside. Jenna was so literal and sweet, but she could be sensitive if she thought someone was laughing at her. “It’s just an expression. It means that you told a secret. And I’m glad. At my age, I don’t think I should have too many surprises.”
“You’re sure?” Jenna asked.
“I’m positive.” She patted Jenna’s hand once more. “A ton of people?” she asked.
Jenna smiled, her tears disappearing like magic. “Let’s see, there’s me and Buddy, Emmanuel and Priscilla, Titus and Abbie, and Nancy and Carrie.” Her face wrinkled into a thoughtfully confused frown. “Do they count since they are babies?”
“Of course they do.”
“Then eight, plus you and Mamm. And you, Amos Fisher.”
“You know my name?” he asked.
Why had he been just standing there listening to their conversation? Nadine shook her head. She prayed this didn’t get weird.
“Of course,” Jenna said. Her earlier sadness had vanished. “I’m Jenna Burkhart. And this is my grossmammi, Nadine.”
He smiled and gave a small bow. “Very nice to meet you.”
“Please say you’ll come,” Jenna pleaded.
For one brief shining moment, Nadine thought he might refuse the invitation. It wasn’t like he was close to any of the people who would be at their house. At least she didn’t think that he was close to anyone who had been invited.
But then the moment was shattered when he gave a quick nod.
“I would love nothing more than to be at the party tomorrow.”
Oh, joy, Nadine thought, though she managed a smile. This was just what she needed.
Chapter Two
Her birthday.
Nadine turned this way and that, looking at herself in the mirror when she needed to be going downstairs to help with breakfast. She knew once she got down there Charlotte would shoo her away. It was her birthday after all. Nadine and Charlotte had never been as close as Nadine had wished for them to be, but Charlotte was kind when it came to things like special days and such.
Still, Nadine would rather be downstairs making pancakes than upstairs fretting over a number.
She was being just plain silly. She told herself that time and again, but she couldn’t seem to make herself believe it. Why did it bother her?
She had no idea. Nothing other than getting old seemed to make a person become someone else. Not necessarily in their personality, but in their looks. She caught sight of herself nowadays, in a random mirror or the glass of a storefront and wondered who the old woman was before she realized that it was her own reflection. Had it always been that way? She couldn’t remember. Just that now she was wrinkled and old and life had passed her by when she hadn’t been watching.
She had done her best to serve the Lord and her church. She had taken casseroles to sick neighbors, helped Charlotte take care of Jenna after the accident, and done a host of other small things that she couldn’t even remember.
Maybe that was the problem. Her life was practically gone and she couldn’t remember.
Or maybe she felt this way because she hadn’t done anything big. Nothing like save a person’s life or counsel a teen who had gone astray during their rumspringa.
Why did a person feel the need to do something big with their lives? Did it matter that she had only done small things? Did a whole lot of small things equal one big thing?
“Are you going to stand there all day, or do you want to come down and eat?”
Nadine’s heart started pounding in her chest. She spun around to find Charlotte behind her, spatula in one hand as she waited for her answer.
“I-I’m coming to eat?” Nadine managed, but it came out like a question. She tugged at the waistband of her apron and started from the room.
“I called you,” Charlotte said as she followed her down the stairs.
“You did.” What should have been a question came out like a statement. What was wrong with her today?
“Several times.” Charlotte nodded. “Then I came up to make sure that you were okay.”
“I’m okay.” At least that sentence had the right tone to it.
“Are you sure?”
They walked into the kitchen together.
“Of course.” She was okay now that Charlotte had startled her from her whirling tornado of thought.
Charlotte stopped behind her chair, her hands clutching the back. She inhaled deeply as if she had a lot on her mind. “Good,” she said. Though it was the last thing Nadine had expected from her. “I want your birthday to be extra special this year.”
Nadine frowned. “Why?” She pulled out her chair and sat, scooting up to the table. Then she turned toward Charlotte and waited for her to do the same.
“Oh.” Charlotte wedged herself into her chair and smiled at Nadine. “We’ll pray,” she said with a wavering smile.
Nadine nodded. But she had the strangest feeling she was going to be doing a lot of praying in the next couple of days.
* * *
A birthday present. He had no idea what Nadine might like so he’d gone into the general store and walked down every aisle, even the ones with toys and cleaning products, trying to find something to suit her. In the end, he’d chosen something pretty, yet useful. He just hoped she would accept it in the spirit that he was giving. Maybe pretty was too strong a word. It was bright, colorful, and cheery. That had to be something.
Amos parked his tractor beside two others and wondered who all was going to be here today. He had half-listened to Jenna as she’d done her rundown of the guest list, but for the life of him, other than the twins, he couldn’t remember a soul she had named. But if the number of tractors was any indication, at least some of the other guests had alread
y arrived.
The thought made his heart pound a little harder in his chest. He had done his best to control his growing feelings for Nadine Burkhart, but he knew that God had brought them together. He also knew he couldn’t say that to Nadine. Not if he ever wanted to see her again. If he said those words to her, she would run for the hills, or at the very least head for the police station and get one of those fancy Englisch orders to keep him away. He couldn’t remember the name of them, but he had heard a couple of ladies talking about them in line at the Super Cost Saver grocery store.
All this wondering wasn’t doing anything for his restlessness. His heart still beat a little too fast, and his breathing was shallow. He needed to appear cool and collected when he went in, thankful to be invited but not crazy happy that he had been included.
He stepped onto the porch and sucked in a deep breath. Then he licked the fingers of one hand and smoothed down any wayward strands of his beard before knocking on the door.
It was opened almost immediately, and Jenna stood there, fresh-faced and innocent with a chubby toddler propped on one hip.
“Amos! You made it.”
“Jenna. Good to see you again.” He took off his hat and stepped into the house. “I brought this.” He held up the present.
“For Mammi?” Jenna asked, taking the package from him.
“It’s her birthday, jah?”
Jenna nodded. “We even have cake.”
Amos couldn’t stop his chuckle. “I remember.”
“Hey, everyone.” Jenna turned to face the room at large. “Amos is here.”
The people who had been milling around the family room, talking and visiting, all stopped and turned to look at him. Not knowing what else to do, he gave a small wave then hung his hat on the last empty hook by the door.
Everyone went back to what they were doing, and Amos looked around, trying to find a familiar face. Finally, he spotted one and headed toward it.
Priscilla King smiled as he approached. “I didn’t know you knew the Burkharts.”
