by Amy Lillard
Charlotte frowned at her, but did as she wanted. “What happened?”
“What do you mean? You’ve been here the whole time.”
“With Amos. Something has you extra prickly.”
“I most certainly am not prickly.”
Charlotte raised her eyebrows.
Nadine shook her head. “Nothing happened.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Nadine cocked her head in the direction of Jenna’s room. “I worry about that girl.”
“I know. I do too.”
“And making her move back in seems like the safe thing to do.”
Charlotte nodded but didn’t speak, as if she sensed that Nadine had more to say on the matter.
“But is it right?”
“Of course it is.” Charlotte shifted in her seat. “She’s not ready for all this. She thinks she is, and I know she looks it. But we both know she has a long way to grow.”
“She loves him.” That was the thought that had been plaguing Nadine for the last two days. Jenna loved Buddy, and Buddy loved Jenna. Did they—she and Charlotte—have any right to try to keep them apart?
“That only matters because you are in love too.”
“I am not,” Nadine huffed.
“No one believes that. Amos keeps coming over here all the time. Or you’re going over there.”
“I’m not in love. In fact, I told him that we couldn’t see each other anymore.”
“Aha!” Charlotte raised a finger as if she had just discovered the meaning of life.
“No aha. He’s a pest and a distraction. He had me off painting when I should have been here to help with Jenna. No, that is over and done.”
“Which is why you’re so grumpy.”
“I am not grumpy.” Nadine resisted the urge to put her hand over her mouth to trap the words, when in fact it was the tone that was telling. She practically snarled the words. She sucked in a deep breath, hoping to tamp down her raging emotions. “I am not grumpy,” she said, calmer this time, nicer.
“I thought you liked him,” Charlotte said.
Did she? He was a pain and persistent and good with Jenna. He was godly and sweet, and he had helped her with her painting.
“He’s okay, I guess.”
“And he took you to a painting class.”
“Well, actually, I drove.”
“Speaking of painting, let me see the one you did.”
It should have been a safe topic, but it wasn’t. Nadine shook her head. “No. Too many bad memories.”
“Please.” But it was more of an accusation than an addition to her plea.
“No.” There was a reason she had left it next to the door, still wrapped up in the brown craft paper Lorie had given them. It was that much closer to the trash barrel.
“Come on, Nadine. You spent an entire evening painting it. You should at least let us see it.”
It was clear that Charlotte wasn’t about to give up.
Nadine heaved a big, exasperated sigh, but it had no effect on her daughter-in-law. So she pushed herself to her feet and went to retrieve the package.
Her hands trembled a little as she tore off the paper. She didn’t know why the thought of showing the painting to Charlotte was nerve wracking. But it was. It wasn’t like she wanted to be a painter or the subject was one that she had come up with herself.
All too quick, the paper was gone and there was her painting. It was worse than she remembered.
The lines of her barn were crooked, like whoever had built the thing had used bowed lumber, and her sunflowers were a little too big for the space. Her bird was nice and she had managed, with Amos’s help of course, to lighten her sky so that it looked like a beautiful day at the crooked red barn.
“It’s wonderful,” Charlotte said.
Nadine was certain that she was just being kind. The painting was far from wonderful, unless you called being able to tell what the subject was without squinting “wonderful.” “You should have seen Amos’s.”
“He can paint too?”
Nadine had almost forgotten about his baking skills. Almost. “I guess he’s got a lot of hidden talents.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss him.”
Nadine shook her head. “I’m not getting married again, and therefore I do not need romancing. No baked goods or candy or stuffed elephants.” But she did really like the elephant. She wasn’t certain why. She was entirely too old for such things, but it seemed to be more than a toy. Real elephants were kind and smart and loving animals.
She thought about the little elephant necklace Sadie Hein wore. Nadine had seen it on her when she had gone into Kauffman’s to eat. She supposed she wasn’t the only one who thought elephants were special. Of course Sadie was Mennonite now, but that was neither here nor there.
And real elephants took excellent care of their young. Which was the exact reason why she couldn’t see Amos Fisher anymore.
“I know!” Charlotte exclaimed. “Let’s hang it over the fireplace.”
“I don’t think—” But before Nadine could finish her protest, Charlotte had taken the painting over to the mantel and leaned it against the wall. “Look how nice that looks.”
It looked like an embarrassment to Nadine. “You don’t have to hang it,” she said.
They stood side by side looking at the artwork, just sitting there on the mantel.
“It’s just a silly painting. And not a very good one.”
“I think it’s marvelous.”
“You’re an old Amish woman,” Nadine said. “What do you know about art?”
“Plenty enough. And I’ll take time to remind you that I’m younger than you.” Charlotte bumped shoulders with her, that knowing smile still on her face.
Nadine felt a little like a school kid bringing home an assignment to show her mother. Their relationship had changed over the last few months. Maybe because of all the troubles and changes in Jenna’s life. Or maybe not. Who knew? “You really don’t have to hang it there. Or anywhere for that matter.”
Charlotte’s smile widened just a bit. “It’s right where it belongs.”
* * *
Right where it belongs.
Why did the words keep rattling around in her head? The painting had been over the fireplace for less than twenty-four hours, and it was starting to mock her. It was right where it belonged, but it seemed to say that she wasn’t.
It had been two days since she had told Amos that they would never be more than friends, and in fact she didn’t even want to be friends with him. Only two days. So why was she missing him so? She even missed the anticipation that he might come over.
And why did she have the sudden need to take Jenna into town to get a cookie from Esther’s? Nothing more, just a cookie. Maybe one of those Christmas cookies that seemed strange to have year round but still tasted so good.
Jenna could use a treat. And a break from being in the house.
“Jenna.” Nadine knocked on her bedroom door before easing it open.
Her granddaughter was sitting on her bed looking like something of a prisoner. She wasn’t reading or writing or coloring in the adult coloring book Charlotte had gotten for her.
“Jah?”
“Want to ride into town and get a cookie?”
For the first time in days, her face lit up. “Really? You’ll let me go into town?”
“Of course. You’re doing so much better walking with your crutch and the swelling has gone down a lot. I think a trip to town for a treat is just the thing.”
“Did Mamm say we could?”
“Jenna, you aren’t a prisoner here.”
“I feel like it.”
Nadine didn’t know what to say. Everything they were doing was for her own good. But she knew Jenna was too close to see that. All she could think about was loving Buddy and being away from him. “Let’s go then” was the only response Nadine had.
Chapter Ten
Amos left his tractor a
t Esther’s and made the short walk down two blocks and one turn to the left that took him to Austin Tiger Sheds.
“Amos!” Dan stood as he walked in. His friend’s grin told Amos that he’d been missed.
“Hey.” Amos shook the man’s hand and pulled up a chair next to Dan’s desk. “I forgot how the place clears out at four.”
Dan nodded. “I should be outta here in just a few myself. Gary’s still in his office though.”
Amos sighed. “Not here for Gary.” He stood, preparing to leave. He should have realized no one would be around this time of evening. “I’ll let you get out of here.”
Dan nudged the chair toward Amos. “Sit. You look like you have something heavy on your mind.”
He didn’t have to be asked twice. Amos eased back into the chair and sighed again.
“That sounds like woman troubles.”
Amos nodded. “She told me she couldn’t see me anymore. And that was after we went to a painting class together.”
“I didn’t think the Amish could paint pictures.”
“It’s a gray area.” He was pretty sure no one knew all the ins and the outs of it all, but since the bishop was okay with it, the painting classes had been allowed.
“So you went to a painting class. That sounds like an interesting date.”
“Jah, but the next day she told me that she couldn’t see me anymore. She doesn’t like that I was taking her away from her family. Or something like that.”
“Man,” Dan said. “That’s rough.”
“Jah, but I can’t let it go. I can’t let her go. How am I supposed to do what God wants me to do if she’s not cooperating?”
“Maybe you got your message a little mixed up. Are you sure she’s the one for you?”
“I was until you said that.” He shook his head. “No. I mean, yes. She’s the one for me. Absolutely.”
“Then if you want to be with her, you’ll have to overcome her objections.”
“How? I’ve done everything y’all told me to do. Candy, stuffed animals.”
“What about flowers?”
“Okay, so I haven’t tried everything.”
Dan smiled and clapped him on the back. “Trust me on this. Flowers are the way to a woman’s heart every time.”
* * *
Nadine grabbed the tray loaded with coffee and Christmas cookies and walked it over to the table where Jenna waited.
She did her best not to crane her neck around and see if she could spot Amos in the back. She didn’t know for a fact that he worked today, but she’d had a feeling he would be there. So far, she hadn’t seen him, but that didn’t stop her from looking.
Jenna added cream and sugar to her coffee, then stirred it with one of the thin plastic straws. “I need your help.”
Nadine whipped her head around. Jenna’s voice was so urgent and solemn. “With what?”
“I want to go back home. To the Lamberts’. I want to marry Buddy. I want to go shopping for material to make the dresses and shirts.”
“I’m not sure your mother is worried about fabric.”
“You’ve got to help me, Mammi. You know how much this means to me. And Buddy. I love being there.”
“But you don’t love being with us.”
Jenna’s lower lip stuck out, but it wasn’t for show. Tears sparkled in her eyes. “That’s not fair.”
“No,” Nadine said. “It’s not.” How could she explain their side of it? “Your mamm and I, we worry about you. Then when you got hurt . . .”
“Please talk to her. Will you do that for me?” Jenna queried with pleading eyes.
She was torn. How could she keep Jenna safe and give her what she wanted? It was impossible. All her life, all anyone had ever wanted for Jenna was love, a good life, and happiness. Now that she had found those things, could Nadine keep her from them? Could Charlotte?
Nadine focused her attention on the coffee cup in front of her, finding it much easier to view than her granddaughter.
“You believe in true love, don’t you?” Jenna’s voice held an accusing edge. “Didn’t you love Sam Yoder?”
Nadine’s attention snapped back to her. “How—how did you know about that?” Maybe she meant a different Sam Yoder. No, it had to be the same one. The coincidence was too great.
“I have cousins, you know.”
“I don’t know how they know either.” Not that it was a secret, but it wasn’t something she liked to talk about. She could have never loved Jason the way she’d loved Sam, and she didn’t want to hurt her husband with that truth.
“The interesting thing about being simple-minded is that people think you aren’t listening.”
Nadine expelled the breath she had been holding. “Yes,” she finally said. “The answer is yes, I loved Sam Yoder.”
“I love Buddy,” Jenna said. “And I want to be with him. If you could be with Sam—”
Nadine’s hand shot up between them. “Don’t say it.”
Jenna signed. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” What a mess she had found herself in. She had come to town to see if she could spot Amos—that in itself was ridiculous—and now she was getting a lesson in life and true love from her granddaughter. “Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll talk to your mamm.”
* * *
It took two days and Buddy coming to visit for Nadine to get up the courage to talk to Charlotte like she had promised Jenna.
“Look at them out there.” Nadine nodded to the front, where Jenna and Buddy threw a toy for their dog, PJ, to chase and bring back. Unfortunately, Puppy Jenna, the golden retriever Buddy had gotten last year, was a boy, but the name had already been in place when that detail had been discovered. Buddy had decided to simply call him PJ. The dog didn’t seem to mind that he had a girl’s name, and Jenna didn’t mind that Buddy had named his dog after her. They both loved the beast, and Nadine was glad that Buddy had brought him over today. Jenna had been cooped up in the house since their trip to get cookies, and she needed the fresh air and exercise, even if she was still hobbling around a bit. She didn’t seem to need the crutch as much as she had earlier, but Charlotte fussed every time she walked without it. It was only a matter of days before she would be able to get around without it at all. Then what was Charlotte going to tell her to keep her at home with them?
Do it, she told herself. Do it for true love.
“I think it’s time Jenna went back home.”
Charlotte turned from looking out the window, a serene smile on her face. “She is home.”
She couldn’t tell if Charlotte was clueless or simply pretending to be. “You know what I mean.”
“Jah,” Charlotte said coolly. “I do. And I’m not willing for her to go back there and get hurt again.”
“She could get hurt anywhere,” Nadine pointed out. Once she had said the words, she winced. “I mean, you’ve got to let her live. Look at the two of them. They love each other. Surely you want that for her.”
“I thought we were together on this.”
“We . . . were,” Nadine said. “But I changed my mind.”
“Why?”
She surely didn’t want to tell Charlotte the story about her and Sam Yoder. She wouldn’t understand the relevance.
“She loves him,” Nadine said, hoping the simple words would appease Charlotte.
“She thinks she does.”
“She does.” Nadine had looked into her eyes and seen the love there. Buddy and Jenna might be an unconventional couple, but they had love, each other, and God. What else did a person need? “True love is hard to come by.” Her tone had turned wistful, not at all the strong argument that Jenna needed.
“Is this about Sam Yoder?”
Nadine’s eyes went wide. “Sam? How do you know about Sam?” She hadn’t spoken his name aloud in forty years or better. Now she had heard it twice in so many days.
Charlotte gave her an exasperated look. “Everyone knows about Sam Yoder.”
�
�Everyone?” She wasn’t sure she liked having her business out there, waving in the wind. “Who’s everyone?”
She shrugged. “Daniel told me. I guess Jason told him.”
“Jason knew?” Why had she believed that he didn’t? All these years, she never talked about it, never mentioned it in passing. Once that part of her life was over, she’d gone on to the next part. Like now. Jason was gone and she was living the next part of her life. With Jenna and Charlotte. And without love.
Now where had that thought come from?
“You weren’t in a bubble or anything,” Charlotte said.
A bubble. That’s just what that part of her life felt like. Like it was captured in a bubble, separate from all else. Untouchable. But everyone around her was still aware, still knew. For them, it was another part of life, but for her it was a treasure.
“You loved him very much.”
Nadine nodded. “Almost too much.”
“That’s how I feel about Jenna and Buddy.”
“I understand, but she’s twenty-one now.” Nadine held up a hand to stay Charlotte’s protest. “I know she’s got the mind of a twelve-year-old, but she’s still lived these years. She’s living with people who watch out for her.”
“She was chased by a camel. That is not okay.”
“Maybe it is for her.”
Charlotte stopped. “Heaven help me, I can’t take any more of this.” She threw up her hands and moved away from the window.
Jenna took that moment to look up. Her gaze snagged Nadine’s. Jenna smiled and waved, then went back to playing with PJ.
She threw the ball and the dog bounded after it, tail wagging. Then Buddy put an arm around her and pulled her close for a one-armed, side hug. They were sweet, these two, and it just went to show that true love took on many forms.
* * *
“It must be the day for it,” Charlotte said sometime later.
Buddy and PJ had stayed as long as they could. Buddy had to be getting back for the evening milking. Being a dairy farmer with camels was not much different from being a dairy farmer with cows.
He had hugged Jenna tight as Charlotte and Nadine watched from the front window. Nadine felt a little bad peeking in on their moment, but she needed to see their love to further cement what she needed to do. She had to get Jenna back with Buddy at the Lamberts. She had no idea why she’d thought that Jenna coming back home to live was a good idea. Momentary lapse of good judgement maybe. Or maybe it was all the confusion that Amos Fisher had brought into her life.
