by Erica Ridley
“I am not!” She shot a panicked glance at her attorney. Being several feet taller than Daisy, the shaggy white fur of his massive chest blocked her line of vision and clouded her nostrils with the stench of magical forests.
“Urgh,” he gargled. “Urrrrrghhhh.”
Frustrated at her complete lack of comprehension, Daisy sent a pleading look toward the fanged district attorney. Her fingers turned to ice as the D.A. remained stoic. Desperate, she tried to come up with legal jargon to defend herself. “On… on what grounds?”
“On the grounds that fairies are flight risks.” D.A. Sangre bared her fangs. “By definition.”
Daisy shivered.
“Urgh,” the yeti lawyer groaned, and nudged her in the shoulder so hard that she stumbled against the hard-edged table. “Urrrrrghhhh.”
She faced the golden desk and prayed for divine intervention. “Look, I’m not a fairy. Yet.” She reached behind her back and carefully peeled her handmade wings from their Velcro base. “See?”
The courtroom gasped.
Daisy tried not to roll her eyes. Nobody in Nether-Netherland was shocked her wings weren’t real. Many of them had watched her painstakingly carve them out on her parents’ front porch, and whispered amongst themselves when Daisy drowned them in glitter glue and dried them stiff. No, the audience had to be gasping because she hadn’t appeared in public without false wings in a good twenty years.
“Isn’t the defendant appearing on charges of Defrauding and Deceiving a Government Body, Your Honor?” demanded D.A. Sangre, her claw-like nails skittering across the case files. “And when this defendant appears in a court of law for the Elders Upon High, her very clothing attempts to defraud and to deceive. Your Honor, you cannot intend to allow such an individual to walk out of this courtroom unchecked.”
“D.A. Sangre,” bellowed Judge Banshee, hopping on top of the golden desk in fury. “While I see your point, you do not tell a judge what she can and cannot do.” She turned toward Daisy. “Miss le Fey. Have you any statement to countermand this argument?”
“Well,” Daisy said and elbowed her furry lawyer for help. “I sure would like to be released on my own recognizance.”
D.A. Sangre threw back her head and laughed. “And why would Judge Banshee do that?”
“Urgh.” Daisy’s attorney raked his gaze across the courtroom audience. “Urrrrrghhhh.”
“What’s that?” Judge Banshee frowned. “Her parents?”
“Your Honor,” Daisy called, after meeting her father’s concerned gaze. “My parents are valued and important members of this community. My mother is the High Chair of the Fairy Godmother Committee, and my father is the co-founder of the Heavenly Alliance of Guardian Angels.” Daisy took a deep breath. “The daughter of these respected individuals would never shame them by running away from the consequences of her own actions.”
“Urrrrrghhhh,” murmured Daisy’s lawyer reassuringly as he clapped her on the shoulder.
“Very well,” Judge Banshee shrieked. “I hereby release you—”
“What?” D.A. Sangre demanded, her pallid complexion paling even further.
“—to your parents’ custody.” Her gavel crashed against the golden desk and exploded into a rainbow of glittering confetti. “Adjourned until Tuesday morning.”
“What?” Daisy sucked in a horrified breath and swayed against the warm, wooly stomach of her defense attorney. “I have to live with my parents?”
Daisy caught sight of her mentor, Vivian Valdemeer, standing just inside the courtroom doors. Nervously, Daisy headed over to find out if this snafu would jeopardize her job.
“Hey,” she managed, wincing when her voice cracked. “Thanks for coming out to support me.”
“It’s no problem.” Vivian adjusted the strand of pearls at her neck. “Everything seems to be working itself out.”
“Are you kidding?” Daisy gaped at her. “I’m on house arrest. Everything is going horribly wrong. Don’t tooth fairies collect teeth from children? I went to that dig and there were no children in sight.”
Vivian inspected her fuchsia fingernails. “That’s a common misconception. Tooth fairies collect teeth—anyone’s teeth—provided that they were placed underneath the head of a human before falling asleep.”
“That was my original hypothesis after extrapolating based on context, given the parameters of the situation.” Daisy bit her lower lip. “But I see flaws in such a system. For example, couldn’t a bounty hunter of some kind purposefully sleep on a tooth in order to try and catch a tooth fairy?”
Her mentor gave an indulgent smile. “The automated system verifies the authenticity of every tooth summons in our grid.”
Daisy shook her head. “But it sent me—”
“—to your mission,” Vivian said firmly. “Yes, there have been a few bugs in the database. The details are occasionally wrong, but the tooth is always right. Don’t worry about nefarious humans out to stir up trouble. I would never send you somewhere dangerous.”
“I wasn’t overly concerned about physical danger.” She was mostly concerned with the danger of losing her job—and her last chance for respect. The one who should fear for his physical safety was that human Trevor. She’d like to throw that rock at his head. “It’s just that the person sleeping on the tooth wasn’t the person who’d owned the tooth. I’d never heard of such a situation.”
“Once in a while, these things happen.” Vivian patted Daisy’s shoulder. “But rules are rules, darling. You can’t change the system.”
Daisy’s brow furrowed. “But what if someone—”
“Do you want to be a tooth fairy or not?” Vivian interrupted, her tone tempered with annoyance. At Daisy’s slow nod, Vivian bestowed a gentle, maternal smile. “Then chalk it up to yet another absurd facet of Nether-Netherland bureaucracy. I’m sure there’s papers we could file somewhere, but who has the patience? We do what we have to, even when we don’t want to. What if you were a genie and you were summoned by, say, a spider monkey? Would you rail and cry and say, ‘Oh dear, I should only do the bidding of humans?’”
Daisy shook her head. “I like spider monkeys. They have double the relative brain size of howler monkeys. A good hundred and seven grams of gray matter on average.”
“Well, there you go. We serve anyone with teeth, regardless of brain size.” Vivian’s smile faded. “But you shouldn’t get into any more trouble, if you want to keep your apprenticeship. I expect perfection from here on out.”
Daisy would never be able to achieve perfection, but she might be able to collect the correct tooth before her next court visit, and thus undo the damage she’d inadvertently wrought.
As soon as she managed to sneak out of her parents’ sight, she corralled her where-frog and teleported back to Costa Rica. But when she materialized on rolling green grass underneath a brilliant blue sky, she wasn’t sure Bubbles had his internal compass on straight.
The rugged brown peak of Volcano Arenal still rumbled with smoke and steamy lava above the horizon. Tiny islands with lonely trees and grazing cows still dotted the shimmering lake.
But where were the tents? Where was the dig? The tooth? Trevor?
The only human in sight was a skinny little boy with muddy feet and shaggy hair, sauntering along the edge of the rutted dirt road with two boisterous puppies at his heels.
“Perdón,” Daisy called out and headed toward him.
The little boy glanced over with a cheerful grin. “¿Sí?”
“Había un campamento aquí.” She gestured toward the empty campsite as she asked him what happened to the people. “¿Sabe dónde está?”
The dark-haired boy pointed off to the distance. “El aeropuerto. En Liberia.”
Ack! They went to the freaking airport? If they left Costa Rica before Daisy figured out where they were going, she’d lose her chance to find Trevor—and the tooth.
“Gracias.” She fished in her black leather B. Fendi handbag for local currency—was her purse con
sidered a knockoff if her best friend conjured it for her?—and handed the little boy a fistful of colones for his time. As long as he didn’t realize she was a tooth fairy, there was no harm in sharing some Pearly States-minted money.
Now what? There was only one way for her to get to the airport quickly. As soon as the boy was out of sight, she brought Bubbles to her lips and whispered, “Liberia Airport. Fast.”
She materialized fifty yards from a jet being loaded with wooden boxes and young people in cargo pants. Two of the faces looked familiar. Thank Chronos there was still time.
“Katrina! Alberto!” Daisy waved to get their attention.
They jogged toward her surprisingly fast, considering the giant packs strapped to their backs and the other bags piled in their arms.
“Here,” Katrina commanded, turning toward Alberto. “Take the laptop case.”
“No way. Professor Masterson put you in charge, not me.” Alberto turned to Daisy, wiping sweat from his forehead. “¿Qué pasa, guapa? I sure hoped to see you again.”
Katrina whacked him in the arm with the leather case. “Get out of here, you horn-dog. I can handle Coach’s bimbo much better without you drooling all over her.”
Alberto slunk a hurt look toward Katrina, but trudged back toward the airplane.
She lit up a cigarette and blew smoke over her shoulder. “What do you want?”
“I want Trevor.” Daisy scanned the unfamiliar faces boarding the plane. “Right now, if possible.”
“I’m sure you do.” Katrina smirked. “Too bad he’s in Elkhart.”
“Elkhart?” Daisy repeated. “What’s that?”
“Where’s that, you mean. Northern Indiana, honey. Six hours from Liberia International Airport by jet, if you don’t have any layovers.” Katrina jerked her head toward the runway. “He’s long gone. Only way you can talk to him from here is if you got him on speed dial.”
“Speed dial?” Daisy’s fingers clenched. Crap. She’d aced English Slang at university… almost a decade ago. Heaven only knew how much had changed. She wondered if fishing out her current edition of Nether-Netherland Readers’ Choice Condensed Encyclopedia of Human Slang and Culture would be too conspicuous a giveaway. “What’s that?”
Katrina gaped at her. “Are you from the Stone Age or what? You sound like my grandmother. Look, I’ll let you use my cellphone because I love to eavesdrop on the coach’s conversations, but you can only talk for a minute.” She gestured toward the diminishing queue with her lit cigarette. “If I’m not in my seat in fifteen, they’ll leave without me.” Katrina pulled out a rectangular phone, tapped on the screen, and then handed it to Daisy. “Here. It’s ringing.”
Daisy pressed the phone to her ear.
“Hello?” came a deep bass voice.
Her heart rate shot up. Mostly because she was ticked at him, she reminded herself, not because he sounded sexy. “Why are you in Indiana?”
“Katrina?”
“No, Daisy.”
“Why do you have Katrina’s cellphone?”
“She let me borrow it.” Daisy shot her a grateful look.
“She—” he choked on his response. “Tell her I’ll deal with her the very second she gets back.”
Daisy nudged Katrina. “Trevor says he’s going to deal with you the very second you get back.”
She shrugged. “Knowing the sappy look on his face last time he saw you, that probably means I get an automatic A. Rock on.”
“Katrina says ‘rock on’.” Daisy’s eyes narrowed. “Speaking of which, you didn’t give me the tooth, you jerk. You gave me a dirty rock!”
“Hmm,” he murmured noncommittally.
“That’s all you have to say?” she demanded.
He chuckled. “How about: ‘Hmm, yes, I gave you a rock.’ I hope you didn’t take it out of the country. I hear Costa Rica has stringent laws about such things.”
“I cannot believe I trusted you.” Daisy’s entire body shook. Humans were despicable creatures. “I actually kissed you, you—you toad!” Her disgruntled where-frog glared at her from his perch on her shoulder. “Er… sorry, Bubbles.”
“Did you just call Professor Masterson ‘Bubbles’?” Katrina breathed, exhaling smoke. “I am so going to tweet this.”
“That was no kiss.” Trevor’s tone thrummed with amusement. “If you were here, I could prove it to you. If I kissed lunatics.”
She gasped in outrage. “If I were there, I’d brain you with that stupid rock, you jerk.”
“I’ll remember that.” His voice turned hard, the deep timbre as dangerous and unpredictable as molten lava. “Stay in Costa Rica or go back to wherever you come from, but leave me, my students, and my anthropological discoveries alone.”
“Leave you alone? If I don’t get that tooth, you’ll have single-handedly ruined—”
With a frantic glance at her watch, Katrina grabbed the phone from Daisy’s hand and turned toward the aircraft. “Hey, Coach, I’m boarding the plane now. Takeoff in ten.” She flicked the cigarette butt out of her path.
“Wait,” Daisy shouted at Katrina’s retreating form, frustration bunching her muscles. “Please!”
Even if she hadn’t read the encyclopedia entry on the one-fingered gesture Katrina tossed up over her shoulder, Daisy would’ve had no problem extrapolating the meaning from context.
Desperate times called for desperate measures. Daisy plucked her latest wand from the bottom of her handbag. She took a deep breath, gripped the handle with both hands and pointed at Katrina’s back. “Freeze!”
Daisy’s shoulders jerked with the backlash as her wand-in-progress unleashed a current of light strong enough to bowl Katrina over. The phone clattered across the graveled tar. Katrina and her bags rolled a few feet and skidded to rest as one giant pumpkin.
A massive, frozen pumpkin.
Chapter 4
Where the hell was Katrina, and the laptop with all his documentation? Trevor paced up and down the gray concrete hallway outside the Anthropology laboratory.
What time was it now? Ten? This was getting ridiculous.
Despite her smart mouth, Katrina was generally reliable. Sure, there was that one time after the away game in Indy when she’d disappeared with the opposing team’s shortstop and hadn’t shown back up for the rest of the weekend, but she’d sworn never to pull a stunt like that again. He could trust her. Couldn’t he?
Trevor scrolled through his phone contacts and clicked Katrina’s name for the seventh time in the past two hours. For once, he didn’t get voice mail. However, the purr at the other end of the line was definitely not Katrina.
“Hello, cellphone?”
“Daisy?” he blurted incredulously. “Where’s Katrina?”
“Uh…” Daisy cleared her throat. “She can’t answer right now.”
Oh, Lord. What the hell did that mean? Had Daisy snuck on the plane? Damn it. He knew they should’ve chosen an airline with flight attendants and boarding passes. “Please tell me you didn’t follow her to Elkhart.”
“No, I’m in Costa Rica. Where your tents used to be.” Daisy sighed. “I wish I’d arrived when you were still here.”
Worry and irritation quickened Trevor’s pace as he stalked up and down the deserted hallway. “What are you doing with Katrina’s cellphone?”
A moment of absolute silence came across the line and for a moment he thought the call had been dropped.
“She left it behind.”
“Katrina forgot her phone?” He slumped against the wall in disbelief.
This was sounding more and more like the Indy escapade, when they’d dialed her phone dozens of times only to find it vibrating in her locker. Un-freaking-believable.
“Were you there when she left?” he demanded. “Did you see where she went?”
“I didn’t see her actually go anywhere,” Daisy said, her tone a little… sheepish? Even if Daisy was a bit unbalanced, it wasn’t her fault if Katrina was off knocking boots with a local.
“You’re sure she didn’t say where she was going?” Trevor asked, trying to keep the irritability from his voice. He could teach anthropology, but he couldn’t teach common sense.
“Nope,” Daisy chirped. “Didn’t say a thing about that.”
Great. Katrina knew better than to not call. But if she’d gotten so distracted she’d left her phone behind, maybe she wasn’t calling because she was afraid Trevor would expel her. Or maybe she was at the airport even now, scheduling a new flight. After all, tomorrow was a school day. She wouldn’t miss that.
In the meantime, the main question was: why was the first person to inform him of his TA’s disappearance a delusional, barefoot chick with cat-eye glasses and an identity complex?
“I’ve got to go,” Daisy said, interrupting his train of thought. “Don’t call me anymore.”
“I didn’t call you,” Trevor pointed out. “I called Katrina.”
“Don’t call her either. Let’s go home, Bubbles.”
“Bubbles? Did you just call me Bubbles?”
No answer. The line was dead.
He shook his head. What a weird, weird woman. Pretty, yes, but also pretty wacky. Thank God she was half a world away. Alberto, on the other hand, should be back in town by now.
Trevor scrolled back through his contacts and dialed.
“Habla,” came the cheery greeting amid a background of loud salsa music.
“This is Professor Masterson.” Trevor raised his voice to be heard over the music. “Did you and Katrina see Daisy at the airport?”
“Oh yeah.” Alberto whistled. “She looked really hot. Katrina made me get on the plane so I couldn’t look at Daisy. But I ask you: Since when is looking a crime?”
“We’ll discuss that another time.” Trevor leaned against the cold concrete and dredged up a modicum of patience. “When did Katrina board?”
Alberto snorted. “She didn’t.”
Trevor smacked the back of his head against the rough concrete-block wall. “And when were you planning to inform me of this?”
“Well,” Alberto said. “I didn’t notice until we landed.”
