by Sarah Morgan
Any moment now she was going to turn and look at him. Then she’d walk across to him with that excited look in her eyes and tell him about it—ask his advice—
Angelica sighed. ‘You’re lousy company, Silvio. If I didn’t know you so well, I’d be offended.’
‘Mi dispiace. I’m sorry.’ Silvio tore his gaze from Jessie and looked at the beautiful woman by his side, barely seeing her. ‘What did you say?’
‘Nothing important.’ Angelica gave him a meaningful look. ‘If you feel like that about her, why haven’t you already got your ring on her finger? You’re not usually slow to grab what you want.’
‘It isn’t about what I want.’
Anglelica’s eyes widened. ‘Then you really have finally fallen in love,’ she drawled, ‘because up until now it’s only ever been about what you want.’
Love?
Was this how love felt?
Frozen with shock, Silvio didn’t respond. Instead, he turned his head to look at Jessie again, only to find that she’d gone.
He scanned the crowd, trying to spot her.
But there was no sign of her.
Angelica sighed. ‘I feel invisible. Go after her, Silvio,’ she said wearily. ‘What are you waiting for?’
What was he waiting for?
A stranger to doubt and prevarication, Silvio was asking himself the same question.
He was well aware that he’d given Jessie a taste of a lifestyle beyond her wildest dreams. He was also aware that he hadn’t given her a choice in any of it. He’d dragged her away from the alleyway, he’d refused to let her return to her flat, he’d bought her a new wardrobe—a new life…
And he’d made love to her.
When she had been feeling at her most insecure and vulnerable, he’d introduced her to a whole new world of intimacy.
Acutely aware that his behaviour had fallen far short of perfect, Silvio ran his hand over the back of his neck and swore in Italian.
‘I speak Italian,’ Angelica said, her eyes amused. ‘Just go after her, Silvio!’
‘I’m not going after her,’ he said harshly, letting his hand drop to his side. Jessie felt obligated to him, didn’t she? She was always thanking him, clearly embarrassed that he’d given her so much even though it meant nothing to him in financial terms. He knew how proud she was. If she hadn’t been desperate, she never would have come with him. ‘If she wants to stay, that has to be her decision and her decision alone.’
But would she?
He’d given her the opportunity he’d promised her. And suddenly Silvio realised that he’d done more than show her a new life.
He’d made it possible for her to leave him.
Chapter Nine
‘FIVE minutes, Miss Gray.’ There was a rap on her dressing-room door and Jessie checked her reflection in the mirror, feeling as though she was looking at a stranger.
Where was the bedraggled, terrified woman Silvio had rescued from the alleyway only two months earlier?
Her make-up had been professionally applied, her dark hair fell in perfectly arranged curls and her dress was the work of Hollywood’s favourite designer.
The man with the grey hair who had made her such an extravagant offer had turned out to own a record label. Within days of arriving in Las Vegas and singing at his daughter’s wedding, rumours about Jessie’s voice had spread and every night she found herself singing to an enraptured audience of thousands.
And at the end of every performance she was returned to the luxurious penthouse suite that had become her temporary home. Anything she wanted was just a phone call away.
Jessie stared at herself in the mirror. Not quite anything.
She’d disciplined herself not to allow her thoughts to wander in that direction, so she stood up quickly, reminding herself that she was living her dream.
Someone from the publicity department had left a stack of newspapers and magazines on her table, all featuring articles about her.
Had Silvio seen any of them? When he saw her name in a newspaper did he read it with interest or did he fling it to one side and turn his attention back to some gorgeous blonde?
Did he think of her at all?
Obviously not, or he would have followed her.
She’d left the wedding in Sicily without speaking to him but she had written him a note, thanking him for everything that he’d done for her. And she’d heard nothing from him. Since then she’d sent him a cheque, repaying everything she owed him. And still she’d heard nothing.
The fact that he hadn’t even contacted her to see how she was getting on was devastating. It simply proved how little he cared for her, Jessie thought miserably, nodding to the stage manager, who was waiting.
Clearly Silvio considered that he’d fulfilled his obligation to her.
This particular project of his had been successfully concluded.
As Jessie walked onto the stage, she heard the roar of the crowd and felt the familiar flutter of nerves in her stomach. Even after weeks of performing here, she still felt nervous but she’d developed a routine to calm herself. She touched her pendant briefly, stared into the darkness of the auditorium and imagined that Silvio was out there somewhere, listening to her.
And when she started to sing, she forgot everything except the song itself.
She sang as she always had, the only difference being that this time when she sang of love and loss, she was singing from experience. And even though she was facing the audience that had once featured in her dreams, she still closed her eyes. This time she was remembering a curve of perfect white sand and the dizzying smile of a very imperfect man who was all she’d ever wanted.
The song ended, she opened her eyes and for a brief, breathless moment she thought she saw his face in the crowd.
Wishful thinking, she told herself, acknowledging the applause with a gracious smile. Despite the fact that the audience was on its feet and she could see people near the stage crying, she didn’t feel as happy as she should.
Feeling frighteningly empty, Jessie launched into the next song and then the next, keeping the audience sweetened with her honeyed voice, trying not to think about those magical few days in Sicily.
Her performance ended and she accepted the applause, the cheers and the flowers with grace and then took the private lift back to the penthouse.
Locking the door, Jessie slid her shoes off and walked barefoot across the expensive rug.
‘Why are you living on the top floor?’ The male voice came from a chair by the window and Jessie jumped with shock.
‘Silvio—?’
‘You hate the top floor.’
He was here? ‘You almost gave me a heart attack.’ She pressed her hand to her chest, feeling her heart bumping crazily. ‘What—? H-how did you get in here? The door was locked.’
‘There are some advantages to a misspent youth.’ Silvio rose to his feet and strolled over to her. ‘You haven’t answered my question. Why the top floor? You can’t sleep if you’re on the top floor. Who put you up here?’
The fact that he knew her so well somehow intensified the dull ache in her chest. ‘This is what they gave me and I didn’t like to say anything,’ she murmured, still unable to believe that he was actually here.
‘So every night you sleep right by the fire escape, is that right?’
Her eyes met his and she didn’t bother lying. ‘Yes.’
He scowled angrily. ‘You should have demanded something on the first floor.’
‘I’m not the sort of person who demands anything. And anyway, if I’d done that they would have wanted to know why and I hate everyone knowing personal details about me. Every day the press write another story—it feels weird, like having a shower and then realising that you’ve left the doors and windows open and everyone can see you naked.’ Having him so close made it hard to breathe. An image of his dangerously handsome face was permanently lodged in her brain but her memory had somehow dimmed reality. Or perhaps she had been subconsciously
trying to make him something less. Less handsome, less strong—not someone worth breaking her heart over.
But the man standing in front of her radiated raw power and confidence and he was looking at her in a way she found hard to interpret. ‘So how are you finding your new life? Is it everything you wanted?’
‘It’s fantastic,’ she lied. ‘Wonderful to have been given so many opportunities. I’m loving it, obviously.’
His gaze was impassive. ‘So why do you have black rings under your eyes?’
‘I’m tired. Singing here and then commuting to California to record the album—it’s hard work—and sleeping next to the fire escape isn’t that restful.’
Conscious of how close he was, Jessie took a step backwards because the desire to touch him was almost too much to bear. ‘Can I get you a drink or something?’
They were making polite conversation, stepping around each other.
‘No, thank you.’
Flustered, confused and appalled by the strength of her own feelings, Jessie licked her lips. ‘Why are you here, Silvio?’
‘I’m checking on you,’ he said softly. ‘Last time we parted, I didn’t check on you. You wanted me out of your life, so that’s what I did. I left your life. And not once in those three years did I find out how you were. I haven’t forgiven myself for that.’
‘I’m not your responsibility.’
His jaw hardened. ‘If I’d kept a closer eye on you I would have found out how much trouble you were in. And it never would have escalated the way it did.’
‘I didn’t want you to check on me. If you’d turned up, I would have sent you away. Why are you bringing this up now? It’s all in the past.’
‘Yes.’ His eyes didn’t shift from hers. ‘It is. And I’m going to make sure that it’s not repeated in the future.’
She had to remind herself that his protective instincts were triggered by guilt and nothing more. ‘So you’re saying that you’re going to look me up every now and then to see if I’ve managed to get myself into trouble? You don’t have to do that, Silvio. You’ve already done more than enough for me. It’s because of you that I have this opportunity. But if that’s why you’re here, to make sure I’m okay, then you’ve done it. Here I am.’ Jessie spread her hands and gave a casual shrug. ‘I’m in one piece and flourishing. So now your job is done. When are you planning to check on me next? I’d like to know so that I can prepare myself for another heart attack when I discover an intruder in my home.’
Silvio stared at her for a long moment and then turned and paced over to the window, his movements restless and impatient. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here? Why leave a note? That night in Sicily—could you not at least have told me in person that you wanted to go?’
She hadn’t wanted to go.
‘I couldn’t get near you for glamorous actresses,’ she said lightly. ‘And anyway, this is what you wanted me to do, isn’t it? You wanted me to sing. As one of your projects, I’ve turned out pretty well. You can congratulate yourself and go back to your flashy life with a clear conscience.’
He turned to look at her, his expression impossible to read. ‘Is that what you think you are? A project? A salve to my guilty conscience?’
Her heart lurched. ‘Isn’t that what I am?’
‘You obviously haven’t heard the rumours. I don’t have a conscience, Jess.’
Jessie lifted her hand and slowly removed her earrings. ‘You rescued me from the streets—literally—when my life was in a mess. That night in the alleyway, when I realised it was you, I was relieved and horrified at the same time. I felt safe and I felt threatened. I’d never been so confused about anything.’ She put the earring down on the table. ‘Then you showered me with clothing and gifts, flew me to your yacht and introduced me to a life that I hadn’t even known existed. Why would you do all that if it wasn’t because you felt guilty?’
‘That’s an interesting theory, but it has one major flaw.’ The phone in his pocket buzzed and he slid his hand into his jacket and silenced it instantly. ‘Where does sex fit into that little scenario?’
Jessie felt her face heat and opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out.
‘I’m extremely selective who I take to my bed,’ Silvio drawled, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. ‘First, the woman in question has to be sexually attractive, but she also has to have a certain level of courage and independence before I’m going to be interested. I’m not good with limp wallflowers. And I’ve never, ever made love to a woman out of guilt.’
Her mouth was so dry she could hardly speak and her heart was hammering so loudly that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hear his response. ‘Angelica looked as though she fits your criteria.’
Silvio stood perfectly still, not making a move to approach her. ‘Before I answer that, I want to know why you left that night. What did he offer you? Why did you leave without even talking to me?’
She lifted her chin. ‘Why did you let me leave?’
Something flared in his eyes. ‘Because I was a fool,’ he breathed, ‘and I made a mistake. Another one of many mistakes I have made with you.’ He strode over to her but Jessie took several steps backwards.
‘You were with Angelica—she was flirting with you.’
He frowned impatiently. ‘Angelica doesn’t know any other way of communicating with a man and don’t tell me she’s the reason you left because I won’t believe you.’
‘What is it you want, Silvio?’ she whispered, and he lifted an eyebrow.
‘You really have to ask me that? I’ve crossed a continent to find you and I’m sure you know that chasing women across the globe is not generally a habit I indulge in.’ A sardonic smile touched his firm mouth. ‘Just for the record, I’ve never had to chase a woman before. Not even over a short distance.’
‘So why—?’
‘Doesn’t that tell you why I’m here?’ His voice shimmered with exasperation and tension was visible in every line of his handsome face. ‘I want you, tesoro. And no other woman.’
Her heart turned a somersault in her chest. ‘That isn’t true.’
‘You know it’s true. I’ve always wanted you. From the day of your sixteenth birthday when I gave you that locket. I could hardly keep my hands off you even then, but everything collapsed around us and I knew it could never work,’ he said thickly, taking her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him. ‘And then I saw you in that alleyway—being away from you for three years hadn’t changed a thing.’
Jessie felt dizzy. ‘You didn’t tell me how you felt.’
‘Talking about emotions is as alien to me as analysing them,’ Silvio confessed in a raw tone. ‘And anyway, I didn’t know how I felt until I thought I’d lost you. Look at me, Jessie.’
Her heart pounding, she looked. ‘Silvio—’
‘I want you to look at me and see who I really am.’ His tone savage, he released her and stepped back. ‘I want you to remember where I came from. I’m not some clean-living, well educated boy from a good family. This face of mine is a constant reminder of the life I led.’
‘I know what your life was, Silvio.’
‘Do you? Or have you forgotten? Perhaps you see the yacht and the helicopter—the man who can buy anything he wants.’ His voice was tinged with bitterness. ‘But I was bred into a life of violence and you have no idea how difficult it has been to leave all that behind. It’s the reason I work so hard. I can never relax. I never feel far enough away from it. I’ve been running since I was a teenager, and I’m still running. I will not go back there.’
‘Why are you telling me this when I know it already?’ She spoke in a whisper, stunned by the passion she saw in him. ‘I was there with you. I lived that life. I know where you came from. You don’t have to explain it for me. Why are you saying these things to me?’
‘Perhaps I’m delivering a warning.’ His mouth twisted into a smile of pure self-mockery. ‘You talk about guilt, Jess, and, yes I feel guilt. I want
you, but I know you deserve better.’
‘Better?’ Jessie laughed, hope blossoming in her chest. ‘Does it get any better than this, Silvio?’
He inhaled deeply, his expression strangely uncertain. ‘I’m not the man for an innocent girl.’
‘Am I supposed to be the innocent girl in this scenario? I’m twenty-two, which makes me a woman, not a girl, and if you think I’m innocent, perhaps you don’t know me as well as you think you do.’
‘You were a virgin, Jess.’
‘Yes.’ This time she didn’t deny it. ‘And the reason I was still a virgin is because you’re the only man I’ve ever wanted. I was never interested in anyone else. Even when I thought I hated you, I still didn’t want anyone else.’
Some of his tension eased but there was still doubt in his eyes. ‘Is that true?’
‘You know it’s true. You have always known how I felt about you.’
Silvio lifted his hand and touched her cheek gently. ‘I hurt you. You were vulnerable and inexperienced and I hurt you.’
‘It was the most incredible experience of my life.’
‘Then why did you leave?’ He cupped her face in his hands, his tone demanding. ‘The night of the wedding—you just walked away from me. Why?’
‘Because I thought it was the right thing to do. Because I thought I wasn’t good enough for your new life, because I was afraid that being with me reminded you of the life you’d left behind…’
‘I wanted the future to be your choice,’ he said roughly. ‘I wanted you to choose me—us—not because you felt indebted to me but because that was the life you wanted.’
Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I didn’t know I had that choice,’ Jessie whispered, her voice cracking. ‘I didn’t know there was an “us” to choose, Silvio.’
‘You knew how I felt about you.’
‘No.’ Jessie shook her head. ‘I didn’t. I thought I embarrassed you.’
‘You have never embarrassed me.’
‘You kept dressing me up.’
He exhaled slowly. ‘I was spoiling you—you’ve had such a hard life. I wanted to make you happy. And I knew you felt self-conscious so I thought the clothes would help.’
